Which feeling is the real one?

[Sammael]

I'm 26 years old and bisexual(mostly interested in guys). I've been interested in having sex with males for around 5 years. But I still have the same problem that I had 5 years ago. When I'm at home, everything is normal. I accept the fact that I'm interested in guys. But when I masturbate and have orgasm, suddenly I start feeling like heterosexual. I start feeling bad. Later I start feeling bisexual again. This is a big obstacle. I only had sex with 2 guys(4 if you count oral sex) so it's a total of only 4 times in 5 years(I was the bottom in all of them). The reason is after I masturbate, I don't feel like doing it with anyone. And I don't meet with someone before checking how I will feel if I will have orgasm during sex. This also stops me from coming out to my best friend because if I come out, I will feel even worse after I masturbate. So which feeling is the real one? Am I the person that I feel all the time or am I the person that I feel during orgasm? Because I am completely different during those times, it's almost like a split personality disorder. Is there anyway not to feel bad during orgasm or something like that? For example, if I learn how to control ejaculation, will I still feel bad when I have orgasm?

 

[G-Lexington]

I can only speak for me here, but I think what you're feeling is natural, if a bit skewed. Once I hit orgasm, whatever I've been doing or fantasizing about stops being so hot and amazing, and becomes more than a bit absurd. I don't feel heterosexual post-orgasm, though - I tend to feel asexual. I lose interest in sex for a bit. Which is why couples try to time their orgasms - you know you need to get your partner off too, but sex becomes more of a chore than a fun activity after orgasm.

Our sexual side and our rational side tend to have a bit of an uneasy relationship. As we get more horny, our sexuality comes more to the front. Our rational mind tends to keep us from doing things that are too "out there" - y'know, the weird stuff we think about just before orgasm. ("Yeah! Right there on the wrestling mat! With everyone watching!" ) And once orgasm hits, the sexual side retreats, leaving the rational mind to take over. ("Really? Right there on the wrestling mat? With everyone watching?")

If you like guys when you're horny, my guess is you're gay (or bisexual). If you feel guilty rather than just asexual post-orgasm, you might want to think about seeing a therapist. You might be holding on to some "homosexuality is wrong" feelings somewhere.

Lex

 

[Sammael]

I should've said that I feel like asexual during and a few minutes after orgasm too since I'm not thinking about girls during that period either but it's not as bad as that if I think about a girl while masturbating.

I'm ok with my homosexuality all the time except during and a few minutes after orgasm. The thing is if I have sex with a top(me being bottom) and I have orgasm, I'll probably not want to even touch him for the next minutes. Probably I can hide it but still it's a very bad feeling.

 

[Lube]

Lex nailed it. Probably guilt. It was for me, anyway.

For years (nay, decades) it was one of my excuses for not being gay. Once I came, I no longer needed to think about men.

But as Lex explained, that's because you're no longer horny.

 

[beatleshead]

^Exactly. No matter if you were a flaming out gay guy who totally accepts who you are or what you are now, you would still feel the way you do after orgasm-its natural. However, your trying to make characters out of clouds. Why do you think its guilt when you feel this way? It seems as though your taking something frivilous as feeling exhausted after cumming, and giving it a false translation. I used to do the same thing.

"See how bad I feel after cumming, God must hate fags and I must not be gay". Of course I ignored the fact that I JACKED OFF TO NAKED GUYS!!

But I saw through it and saw the real problem. I think thats what you need. To answer some doubts or questions no matter how controversial in terms of your own well being. Somewhere you might have some unresolved issues about your Bisexuality.

 

[Sammael]

I feel as though you are not giving us all the information. Something is triggering this emotion in you. As Lex said, it is normal to lose your sex drive for a good while after an orgasm, but the extent that you have it is not normal. Is it the same when you masturbate thinking about women? It sounds as if you have some kind of hidden demon that you are wrestling with. You need to confront your problem head on. Then you orgasm will be worry free.

I don't know what other information I should give but if you guys need any information you can ask anything. Noone here knows me in real life so I don't have to hide anything.

 

[Sammael]

I forgot to write and editing is not possible after 20 minutes.
No I don't feel bad if I think about a girl while masturbating. I also don't feel too bad if I think about being top with a guy(still bad but not too much). But I feel worse if I'm thinking about being bottom. For some reasons %90 of the time I masturbate, I think about being bottom

 

[Elwood]

Speaking from my own experiences, I always felt the same way. I would feel the same after having an orgasm when I was with a guy, I would just want to high tail it out of there and would not even want to look at or talk to the guy. Now after accepting being gay and out of the closet for 5 years I no longer have these feelings.

I think it is a guilty feeling and once you accept that is all right doing what you are doing these feelings will go away. I am not saying that you are really gay, what I am saying is that you have not accepted that it is all right to be with another guy.

That's my two cents, based on my experiences.