who else lives at home?

[blumUO83]

I don't know if this has ever really been discussed or not, but for my own sanity, I decided I wanted to get this off my chest.
I recently graduated from college (where I had the most amazing time and experience living away from my family and home) and have returned home to look for work. At any rate, my parents are fairly traditional chinese folks who are not very open to homosexuality... having lived away on my own for a while free to be who i wanted to be, coming home has been very suffocating and difficult for me. I've become majorly depressed, while looking for work and have not had any luck so far I hardly go out because i'm not earning my own money right now, and the mother is constantly and incessantly nagging and questioning about my late night escapades. It's become so unbearable that I won't even go out or do anything but sit at home and watch television occassionally look for work. It really sucks being here at this point in your life. You're on the the cusp of breaking out on your own completely, to be independent and responsible only for yourself for once in your life... but yet you're not really there yet. It's within grasp, but only so close. I have the luxury of having a roof over my head and having my parents still support me even after I've graduated, and I guess you could call me a spoiled brat, but I've noticed that this is a growing trend among asian americans who live specifically in the sf bay area. I guess i've become complacent and relaxed almost to the point of being too lazy. You work so hard for so many years to finish school and graduate and then you become a lazy slothful waste of a human being. Sorry this post is so long. I don't know if anyone else has gone through this or is going through this, but i felt like i needed to get that off my chest. Thanks

 

[drhladnjak]

It's a general trend among pretty much everybody in their 20s. People are just living with their parents for longer. I think the problem is even more pronounced in places like the bay area where rents are particularly high. There's something to be said for finding even a temp job that pays enough for you to at least rent a room somewhere.

 

[maxxximum]

i guess that should motivate you to look for a job even harder, and get out as soon as you find a good one

 

[Riverrick]

At least you are aware of it and have motivation to get out. Sorry to hear the job hunting is not going well.

How about looking elsewhere, maybe even another state?

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Dude, get going and find a job. Any job that makes sense, even half-way.

Your old folks will be still there for you, if push comes to shove.

You are driving yourself into acute depression and turning lazy. Like those two things are not bad enough.

You are wasting the best years of your life.

Looking for job and not finding one looks very, very bad on a resume. Employers will automatically assume that you were doing something profoundly wrong.

Last but not least, what most employers really want is a maximum flexibilty for the minimum pay. If the Bay Area has no job for you, move on right away. There are companies looking for a smart college kid out there, and there is life out there, too.

Yeah, hit the keyboard and keep on applying. Do not narrow your search. Enlarge it.

SC

 

[blumUO83]

You guys are right... I realize what I need to do, but doing it is another thing. Maybe I need a kick to the rear end... or more
Well i'm going to grab life by the balls and just throw myself out there and see who bites. Wish me luck!

 

[Riverrick]

Good Luck! Let us know how it going!

 

[blumUO83]

Good for you. I am living at home and my 'coming out' is what's pushing me to get a good job and move out. I don't want to tell my mum I'm gay until I'm out of the house... not because I think she'll kick me out, but because I want some gay friends first (she ALWAYS has to know where I've been and I don't want to lie constantly) and we're arguing over too much stupid shit while I'm living here. It just wouldn't be a good time.

Jareth- That's exactly the way I feel about it. I'm constantly arguing with her over things that are really insignificant as well... and she always likes to turn the argument around on me and make me feel guilty that I'm saying such horrible things to her... when in really i'm just trying to be realistic with her.

 

[luvthissite]

I lived at home after school, probably longer than I should have. After I finally moved out, I asked myself why I didn't do it much sooner. fortunately, I was able to save some money while living at home, and now that I am on my own I have some cash in the bank so I feel like I have some financial security.

live at home for a reasonable amount of time, SAVE as much money as you possibly can, then get your own place. while you are living at home, do you best to help around the house, this will make it harder for your folks to kick you out. cook dinner every so often for them, ask them if they need anything done around the house, if you parents seeing you workiing hard, saving your money, and helping around the house, they will normally let you live there until YOU are ready.