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Why are girls so attracted to me?

spearsfan20

spearsfan20

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I am not understanding as to why girls are attracted to me and I am gay. I remember girls not giving me the time of day when I was in high school. That all changed while I was in college and it seems like every girl I talk to tries their best to flirt with me. They can be saying "OMIG you are so pretty" and "If you wasn't gay I would totally fuck you." It's just funny that these days they can do stuff like that and pretend to recognize me as a gay man.

On the other hand men can never do the same for me. I have a big issue appealing to gay guys. I can never understand what it is. I think I have a great personality, I dress well, I like to have fun, and I work out to my keep myself in shape. Guys just seem not to pay much attention to me than girls which describes my lack of gay friendships and ongoing single life. :cry:
 
spearsfan20 said:
I am not understanding as to why girls are attracted to me and I am gay. I remember girls not giving me the time of day when I was in high school. That all changed while I was in college and it seems like every girl I talk to tries their best to flirt with me. They can be saying "OMIG you are so pretty" and "If you wasn't gay I would totally fuck you." It's just funny that these days they can do stuff like that and pretend to recognize me as a gay man.

On the other hand men can never do the same for me. I have a big issue appealing to gay guys. I can never understand what it is. I think I have a great personality, I dress well, I like to have fun, and I work out to my keep myself in shape. Guys just seem not to pay much attention to me than girls which describes my lack of gay friendships and ongoing single life. :cry:
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I'm assuming that is you in your profile pics, and you are very good looking so I don't think it's a case of being ugly. In fact maybe it's opposite of that. You are so good looking that many people who might be interested in you are too intimidated to approach you. All of a sudden women approach you because they now know you are gay, and therefore on an equal footing with them.

The other thing may be that you are a bit focused on a certain type of man, and by doing so have missed a number of hints men outside of your normal type have been dropping in your direction. I'm just throwing that out there for you to think about. Maybe I'm completely wrong, maybe not. Just a thought.
 
One thought about the girls, no matter what they say, when they know you are gay you are no longer a "threat" to them. They do not have to worry about being "hit on" so it is a lot easier for them to be more friendly and "flirty". Your attractiveness has little to do with it. Even though you are handsome and attractive, they feel "safe" because they know the sexual interest is not there.

Conversely, in the gay world, it's whole different story. Again, it may have nothing to do with you. I am sure there are plenty of guys who find you attractive and "hot", they just may not know how to approach you. Be yourself, be friendly and don't be afraid to say "hello". Sometimes that one word says "I'm approachable". Guys think differently.
 
My best friend told me the same thing about a guy would be intimidated to approach me. I want to let a guy know so bad that they don't have to feel underestimated because of my looks, personality, etc. I do smile and speak most of the time. I am doing better with my social approaches to some men. They always want my number but they don't ever call me. But the next time I see them around they act like they are so happy to see me when they are putting up a front.

Conversely, in the gay world, it's whole different story. Again, it may have nothing to do with you. I am sure there are plenty of guys who find you attractive and "hot", they just may not know how to approach you. Be yourself, be friendly and don't be afraid to say "hello". Sometimes that one word says "I'm approachable". Guys think differently.
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For some reason I have always gotten that vibe since I've been hopping to gay clubs and shopping in my favorite stores where so many of them exist. Thank you guys for your responses. I would need to start being more like myself and not do something out of the ordinary to make a guy approach me.
 
Instead of giving guys your number, and wanting them to approach you, why don't you make it a goal to get their phone number, and you approach them in stores/bars/etc. Take control of the situation. Otherwise you'll stay in your rut longer than you may like.
 
It's probably not what you want to hear, but women are less looks oriented than men... as the years go by, you will inevitably become less interesting to the men you're trying to attract while even more interesting to women. Not much help, is it, haha, but I'm in the same boat... just older...
 
know what you mean, i've always been a pussy magnet and if i was straight i'd never be sexually frustrated. with guys its always harder (less prospects, more hidden) unless you're an abercrombie model who hangs out at gay clubs.
 
Don't worry. I am in college now and the same things happen. I brush it off but appreciate the compliments.
 
^^^It's sad to know that there are guys who can't ever have that same attraction like women can. I am sure if I was straight I would be having a long-term relationship with a woman by now and probably get married in a couple of years and settle with children in the future. But I know that dream will never happen.

I am just so desperate to look for a sweet and wonderful boyfriend. I don't need another one of those "I love you if you allow me to be your fuck buddy" types. I guess I am surrounded by guys like that these days than some who are honest and willing to spend most of their time with me.
 
Hey Spears,

Mate... I think you'll find theres way more to this than looks...

Women read body language and facial expressions far better than men. Its been proven that within seconds of walking into a crowded room that a woman can isolate her threats, her inferiors and superiors... just by the way they hold themselves and act - because they have to protect their man from being poached. Men on the other hand walk into the same room and the first thing they look for is the exit, and then the fact that the light bulb is blown and that the walls need painting - because we need to make sure we can protect our partner and escape if we need to as well as provide safety and a home. Its our genetic make up...

So my honest guess is that you are perceived as a non threat... and I dont mean that in a bad way. Chances are you seen instantly as chatty, friendly and even though they may not know for sure... gay. And so, you dont threaten them.

They can relax around you, be themselves and not have to compete with the other females for your attention... simply because they know that at the end of the day you wont be fathering their children... again mate its genetics... women instinctively look for the man they think will make the best father of their offspring.

Ultimately spears this is a compliment to you... its a sign that your personality, body language and signals are that of a friendly, safe, secure and protective man. One whose qualities are obvious to people trained to seem them.

The trouble is we guys take a little longer to figure that out... short of someone waving their "bits" in public some guys cant see the woods for the trees.

Dont give up mate... your qualities take time for guys to discover... and maybe they are a little intimidated too... but not all of us are ignorant to what makes a great partner... hang in there spears... your time will come!
 
spearsfan20 said:
^^^It's sad to know that there are guys who can't ever have that same attraction like women can. I am sure if I was straight I would be having a long-term relationship with a woman by now and probably get married in a couple of years and settle with children in the future. But I know that dream will never happen.

I am just so desperate to look for a sweet and wonderful boyfriend. I don't need another one of those "I love you if you allow me to be your fuck buddy" types. I guess I am surrounded by guys like that these days than some who are honest and willing to spend most of their time with me.
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I definitely feel you on that. I go to a small private college (less than 2,000 students) in Ohio. Really hard to find a gay man to date (although my buddy recently came out to me and we are gonna try things in the fall). But I totally understand, especially with the lot of girls who like me. I am bi, so I would date them, but I am kinda caught up with my friend, and am in a 'guy phase'.
 
The weird thing about girls is some of them pay more attention to me the meaner I am to them (and I'm NOT nice to girls, I usually ignore them and wouldn't give them the time of day). I have 1 female friend. Coincidence, I think not.
 
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