Why Are Guys Such Lying Cheating Sacks of Shit?

[ahotjock71]

Thanks for the words of support guys!

As for the title of the thread I suppose it should have read "MOST."

I'm sure there are really sweet, decent, caring guys out there, I have talked to many here at JUB. Too bad they all live far away.

As for myself, NO, I am an honest, thoughtful, loving individual who believes honesty is the best policy. If something is not working or if there is a problem I say, "Hey, blah, blah, blah" and put it on the table.

As for the situation, here's a little more to it:

I met this guy on MySpace a month & a half ago. Hit it off, etc. We have alot in common, and he is also HIV+, so when we both told each other it was one of those "special" "Wow" moments and we both laughed and sighed relief.

From the very beginning I have told him he can talk to me about anything. I can be a sounding board, offer advice or a shoulder, or just listen.

He is a recovering (and slipping) drug addict, but he was honest about that up front so I decided I would not let that hidnder the situation, if he is trying, give him the benefit of the doubt. I now can look back on certain situations the last month & a half & realize he had been high at the time. I guess I knew it then, you just want to believe someone when they tell you they are really trying.

The last time I talked to him was Thursday night, and we had phone sex. I thought it a bit odd, but went along. Didn't hear a word Friday or Saturday. Sent him an email Sunday with a Happy Father's Day card, and got an email back saying he had been busy with work on the weekend. OK, cool. He hasn't called because his cell is messing up on him (YEAH, RIGHT. Can we say RED FLAG boys & girls?)

He did try to call Monday night but I was asleep. So I talk to him yesterday morning, he was supposed to spend two days with me (Yesterday & today), but suddenly had to work those days. HHHmmmm. OK.

So that's when I decided to go by the restaurant & suprise him, and yeah, I admit I was a bit curious if what he was telling me was true or not. been burned before, you know.

Sure 'nuff. My suspicions were true. So leaving the restaurant I call him (he doesn't answer, of course) and leave a voice mail telling him I know he doesn't owe me an explination (the hell he doesn't!) but that I know he lied to me. No call all evening. I try calling once more around 1 AM. No answer.

So I get up this morning & check his myspace page, and lo & behold, a new guy near the top, and a new comment from the new guy, all lovey-dovey n shyt.

*sigh*

Why does it take SOOOOOO much effort just to be honest? Hell, if something wasn't right or working out, just say so! He even told me 3 weeks ago that he wasn't going to talk to other guys, give us a chance to see where it goes.

I know I'm better off knowing now, sooner than later, blah, blah, blah, but it still hurts.

I am 35 years old, have been out of the closet since 18, and have never had an LTR, although that's all I have ever wanted. I've had tons of bf's, fuck buddies & tricks, but have always held out hope for "Mr. Right."

As of this point no more. I am DONE. Ths pattern & cycle is killing me. I have dated guys from 18 to 50, from all backgrounds, but they basically all turn out to be the same. Am I cursed? Maybe, but I don't think so.

 

[Lube]

Look into their eyes. You can usually tell if they're lying sacks of shit by their eyes.

Also, ask about their history--have they ever had an LTR? (Actually, the fact that you haven't would immediately make me suspicious, sorry to say.)

I came out (so to speak) of a 10+ year marriage and within *weeks* found a bf (yes, it was totally shocking). We've been together almost 9 months now. He had just come out of a 10+ year LTR, so I knew he was reliable.

We just hit it off like you wouldn't believe, and are incredibly sexually compatible. We keep waiting for the good times to end, but they don't.

And I'm 44; and even if I were 65 I would never give up looking.

Good luck, and don't give up the chase.

 

[kayman23]

Thanks for the words of support guys!

As for the title of the thread I suppose it should have read "MOST."

I'm sure there are really sweet, decent, caring guys out there, I have talked to many here at JUB. Too bad they all live far away.

As for myself, NO, I am an honest, thoughtful, loving individual who believes honesty is the best policy. If something is not working or if there is a problem I say, "Hey, blah, blah, blah" and put it on the table.

As for the situation, here's a little more to it:

I met this guy on MySpace a month & a half ago. Hit it off, etc. We have alot in common, and he is also HIV+, so when we both told each other it was one of those "special" "Wow" moments and we both laughed and sighed relief.

From the very beginning I have told him he can talk to me about anything. I can be a sounding board, offer advice or a shoulder, or just listen.

He is a recovering (and slipping) drug addict, but he was honest about that up front so I decided I would not let that hidnder the situation, if he is trying, give him the benefit of the doubt. I now can look back on certain situations the last month & a half & realize he had been high at the time. I guess I knew it then, you just want to believe someone when they tell you they are really trying.

The last time I talked to him was Thursday night, and we had phone sex. I thought it a bit odd, but went along. Didn't hear a word Friday or Saturday. Sent him an email Sunday with a Happy Father's Day card, and got an email back saying he had been busy with work on the weekend. OK, cool. He hasn't called because his cell is messing up on him (YEAH, RIGHT. Can we say RED FLAG boys & girls?)

He did try to call Monday night but I was asleep. So I talk to him yesterday morning, he was supposed to spend two days with me (Yesterday & today), but suddenly had to work those days. HHHmmmm. OK.

So that's when I decided to go by the restaurant & suprise him, and yeah, I admit I was a bit curious if what he was telling me was true or not. been burned before, you know.

Sure 'nuff. My suspicions were true. So leaving the restaurant I call him (he doesn't answer, of course) and leave a voice mail telling him I know he doesn't owe me an explination (the hell he doesn't!) but that I know he lied to me. No call all evening. I try calling once more around 1 AM. No answer.

So I get up this morning & check his myspace page, and lo & behold, a new guy near the top, and a new comment from the new guy, all lovey-dovey n shyt.

*sigh*

Why does it take SOOOOOO much effort just to be honest? Hell, if something wasn't right or working out, just say so! He even told me 3 weeks ago that he wasn't going to talk to other guys, give us a chance to see where it goes.

I know I'm better off knowing now, sooner than later, blah, blah, blah, but it still hurts.

I am 35 years old, have been out of the closet since 18, and have never had an LTR, although that's all I have ever wanted. I've had tons of bf's, fuck buddies & tricks, but have always held out hope for "Mr. Right."

As of this point no more. I am DONE. Ths pattern & cycle is killing me. I have dated guys from 18 to 50, from all backgrounds, but they basically all turn out to be the same. Am I cursed? Maybe, but I don't think so.

My advice you is stop looking, as everybody around here has said, you find that right someone when you least expect it. I've chosen the "It's all about me." approach, if somebody shows up, good, if not "Whatever, I'll live." I'm just trying to as of late is making friendships and that's basically it, if something comes of it, I'll be shocked, but I'm bascially in whatever mode.