Why are people so insistant that...

[Rolyo85]

Of course it's possible. Work environment is just another place where you interact with people after all. BUT having a work relationship together with your romantic one can be dangerous. Especially if you are not equal. If you're dating your boss, it can lead to a lot of complications. It can also NOT lead to complications though.

 

[TX-Beau]

I guarantee you no employer is really interested in dealing with personal emotions mixing in the office.

Sure sometimes things work out fine, but just as often they don't - and at least here in the US the potential for lawsuits is very very high if one of the people has any kind of authority over the other and someone gets vindictive.

Plus a lot of employers have non-fraternization policies that can get one or both of you fired, plus there is the issue of what the other people in the office right or wrong think about your relationship and how that affects the atmosphere in the workplace.

Add to that all the other things that come into play when someone isn't in a relationship and trying to ask out a co-worker who may be extremely non-receptive, misconstrue things, or just gets blindsided by someone they only ever though of as a colleague. That can turn really nasty for one or both and also get you fired.

It's just not a very good idea.

 

[TX-Beau]

the first firm I worked at (this was in WEHO mind) had this messenger guy who worked in the mail room. He was probably 20 or so, and he was really hot. I don't think he was gay but (all the senior partners were gay men) he was fucking working his hot little ass all over the damn place. Yes on purpose, I was pretty shocked at first, and always thought he was a major lawsuit waiting to happen - but in an office full of gay men in that context nothing ever happened. i don't know what he got out of it - other than job security, but it was obviously doing something for him.

So yeah, not dating but kind of the same issues, an extremely blatant guy that nothing ever happened to.

By contrast a friend of mine who works in an accounting firm in Austin had a friend of his fired because one of the women on the staff he asked out for a drink - and I don't know if his story is the true one - who swore he was just being friendly, anyway the woman said his "advances," made the workplace an uncomfortable environment for her and he had to go.

I also know that two of the partners at my sister's law firm are married, and they seem to have no problems with it. But really, I don't know a whole lot of people who are dating or married to the people they work with.

Maybe that's a difference in business culture between here and England.

 

[HunterM]

When the romance is going well. Everyone is happy. When shit hits the fan, most people cannot leave their personal issues at the door (outside of work). Subconsicously, especially women who are more emotional than men in general, negative personal feelings at home toward your ex are often mixed in with professional decisions toward your ex at work. This applies to married couples and family members as well.

Some large companies have strict HR policy of not allowing family members work in the same group/team/department/whatever. To avoid family fued spilling over to the professional work environment, a person cannot join the same team as that person's brother/sister/husband/wife/son/father/mother/uncle...etc.

Of course, the mafia does not have that rule. It's a family business after all. When disagree, they just take each other out

 

[HunterM]

Here's another example:

Let's say you have been working your ass off to be the top performer in your team...to get that top annual bonus/raise. You're on track. Then you started dating your manager for two months. Then it's time for that annual review, and you got your bonus/raise...but some of your coworkers did not get that ('cause they're slackers).

Your coworkers may think, "Sure, he worked his ass off...in the bedroom!" Work place chaos/HR issue ensued.

 

[KaraBulut]

There's a difference between two people who work for the same company and two people who work together.

If you're dating someone in another division or another location, it might not be an issue.

If it's someone that you have to collaborate with or someone that is in your management reporting structure, it's not only a bad idea, it's probably a violation of company policy.

A few years ago, I worked in a department where one of my coworkers not only worked with his ex-wife, he was also getting a divorce from his second wife who also worked in the same department. Every day was misery for everyone.

 

[altlover85]

...you should never have a relationship with a workmate?

I've known plenty of people that met each other through work. I work today with a couple who are engaged to be married. So whats the big deal????

Well, I would think if it goes south it could affect you both personally and professionally and could make the whole office environment unpleasant for a lot of people.

I joke with my bf that he could start working where I work, but I could see us getting on each other's nerves real quick and I think it would be hard to be around him (almost) 24/7.

 

[Seasoned]

People tend to take work issues home and home issues to work if they work together. An argument in one place spills over. People at work together might use work time to either argue or resolve conflict. A reprimanded or fired spouse could be an issue for the other. A divorce and subsequent dating could be a workplace issues as could being unfaithful with a co-worker. Since half of marriages end in divorce there is the potential for a whole lot of drama.

I've moved this to Hot Topics because it's not the OP's relationship being discussed, but relationships in general.