why did it happen to me

[hermanding]

pete, there are no reasons for lots of things that happen. saying not fair means nothing. losses DO occiur to all of us. and there is nothing that can be done. we can scream, and maybe it helps. over time things get a little better, but the pain never is gone complete. we can share the pain, because we have received it tooç
ding

 

[moonybig]

noone can say why things like that happen sadly they do. just know we are here for you.

big BIG

 

[Shepherd 2]

PeTe,I hope there are real people who do care, and can hold you and let you cry, rant or do whatever you need to do. We care, but we are
unable to be there where you are for you in this moment.

Thinking back over your posts these past couple of weeks, you have had an awful lot of things going on in your life.
Shep+

 

[Raybee]

I can just send you hugs, Pete.
People do care, mate.
Sorry you're hurting

 

[ronboy]

You know that we love you here PeTe.

And there's at least one Jubber here who goes through the same feelings occasionally.....

 

[JackFTwist]

it's his birthday

today

and it took 18 posts to tell us that

Pete, you are a great guy and we all feel for you - you are not the only person by any means to have lost someone they loved - so yes we do know the pain - and we do not diminish your pain by saying others have it: your pain is yours and it is real and we care

read your thread title

this was not a bad thing that happened to you - it was bad thing that happened to him

can I as a friend suggest with love that the way to spend this day is not to say "why did it happen to me" but to tell stories about him, let him live in the remembered stories, and focus on him - keep him alive - focus on him - it happened to him, not you

 

[JackFTwist]

see no one gives a shit

and that was not fair 13 minutes after you posted an OP with no explanation

tell us about him - please let him live in your remembered joy of who he was, not in your pain for yourself

 

[jaydizzo]

and it took 18 posts to tell us that

Pete, you are a great guy and we all feel for you - you are not the only person by any means to have lost someone they loved - so yes we do know the pain - and we do not diminish your pain by saying others have it: your pain is yours and it is real and we care

read your thread title

this was not a bad thing that happened to you - it was bad thing that happened to him

can I as a friend suggest with love that the way to spend this day is not to say "why did it happen to me" but to tell stories about him, let him live in the remembered stories, and focus on him - keep him alive - focus on him - it happened to him, not you

Very well put Jack

Pete we are here for you. Theres is nothing we can say or do to make the pain go away but there is something you can do is let Jimmy live through you. Share with us some good memories of him it will be hard but he will live through you and your memories and the pain will go away changed into happiness

And believe me when I go to work everyday I put my heart and soul removing drunk drivers from the street I've lost two friends due to drunks so I'm here for you on that notion.

 

[PreTTy PeTe]

i happened to me

my entire life is a mess

 

[chatolandia]

Pete,

know that we (at least I do) care and we wish for you a life without pain.

But the pain will always be there, and there is nothing we can do, so all we can offer you is our love, from where we are

 

[PreTTy PeTe]

and that was not fair 13 minutes after you posted an OP with no explanation

tell us about him - please let him live in your remembered joy of who he was, not in your pain for yourself

not to worry

i think everyone here knows about me

i don't hide

 

[JR]

it's his birthday

today

What happened to you is terrible. But one of the things I don't want you to lose sight of is that love does not die with the all-too-human body. Your love for him lives on. The moments you shared are a part of who you are. His love made you the amazing person you are today.

Some people will go through life and never find that kind of love. But you have. It totally sucks that he's not around for you, but he is if you look inside yourself for his love.

 

[cocktales]

Petey, Sweety:

You know by now that JUB's always here for you my friend, and you are NOT alone in your misery....NEVER alone!

NO, perhaps we haven't lost our loved one; but most of us DO know how it hurts to lose someone....A Mom, a Dad, a Brother, A Sister, etc.....

Do you think your love would want you to wallow in self-pity?

I think NOT....

Sure, you will have that hole in your heart for some time and NO one can fill that; but your memories will last forever and NOone can take that away from you...

One of the BEST small books I ever read (less than 100 pages) was: "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" by Rabbi Kushner...He explained it thoroughly and helped me deal with "it" because I was a hopeless mess!

...Also, please, please read the following passage, and please understand it and I think it will HELP you a lots:

http://www.zoofence.com/consdr03.html

Remember, you "ARE" one of our family members and we love and need you to stay safe!

 

[rareboy]

Pete.

I care too.

It is very hard to have so much taken away because of someone else's irresponsibility.

I don't think it is Karma.

I do believe that it gives you a unique right to counsel and teach others about the tragic consequences of drinking and driving.

And how to be a survivor.

For those of us who get left behind, every day is defined in some way by one moment. Ultimately though, we're left either making good come out of it somehow or being lost inside ourselves.

I think that you already have made good out of your own loss by being able to talk directly to so many guys on this board about this tragedy. Who knows how many other lives you've actually saved because someone thinks twice before they drive drunk or stoned?

Hugs PeTe.

 

[PreTTy PeTe]

i want to thank everyone here

you guys and girls are amazing

 

[jhmphx]

I lost a really, really good friend last year - to AIDS of all things - which doesn't really compare to your (or anyone else's) loss but I was sincerely blown away by how life-altering the grief was/is. I started sobbing, at like, any time...which made teaching my first-year composition class a tad difficult at times. And it was really hard to talk to friends because it ALWAYS involved discussing Jeff and then sobs.

-I'm crying now, FYI -

I didn't go to his funeral either (for different reasons, obviously)...it wouldn't been difficult but I think I would feel better now if I had. I'll go to his grave at some point, I guess and have my own.

I think part of it is learning how to live in a world in which you now have this grief, more, anyway, than it is about "getting over" it. It just sucks so much and, as my mother told me, it doesn't get easier to lose friends...thanks. I do think, though, that time does heal a bit and our brains help us learn to live with it. I also think you/anyone needs to let your body and mind and psyche do what it needs to for awhile...if that's cry or move somewhere else or sit at home or not sit at home...

Anyway, I can commiserate even if our losses are vastly different. And I thought I'd add my two cents about healing. And I'd love to hear about any other ways of healing.

I can't believe I'm posting this.

Best,
Jason

 

[Nonimus]

I'm with rareboy on this one babes; it aint anything you did or he did - it's just one of those things.

He got taken away from you, and that aint ever nice. But you're still young; young enough to love again. And do that - allow yourself to love again. I've loved and lost too, everyone has to some extent. Take what you learned and while treasuring it, apply it to the next lucky guy that gets you.

Noni wants you to be happy.

It'll be the same - but not the same

The same, but not the same

The same, but not the same

(Only you know what i'm on about! )

 

[PreTTy PeTe]

The same, but not the same
The same, but not the same
The same, but not the same
The same, but not the same
The same, but not the same
The same, but not the same
The same, but not the same
The same, but not the same
The same, but not the same
The same, but not the same
The same, but not the same
The same, but not the same
The same, but not the same
The same, but not the same
The same, but not the same
The same, but not the same

 

[twardmo]

for what it's worth, I'm sorry , and

 

[PreTTy PeTe]

hugs all that i need

thanks