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Re: Why do gay men refuse to believe there are bi
We tend to see ourselves reflected in other people. Take a gay man who had spent time claiming to be bisexual while deep down wishing he could just be okay with being gay. Once he's out and proud and waving his rainbow flag and he comes across a bisexual man, his first reaction is to see himself, what he went through, the pain and suffering, shame and what not. So his reaction is to assume this bisexual man is doing the same thing. His anger towards the bisexual man is really his anger at himself for wasting so much time when he could have been happier much earlier in life. The problem is that this bisexual man is more than likely not going through the same things, but we, as humans, can't always grasp that.
As far as gay men not being able to deal with the possibility of their own bisexual nature, I think a lot of this comes from society forcing us to be heterosexual in our development. Straight people do not need to come out to their parents, families and friends. They don't need to fight to marry, fight to be accepted, fight to be themselves. So once we go through all the hurdles that our society has placed on us to be happy and well centered homosexuals, we feel that if we have sex with someone of the opposite gender that we've somehow sold ourselves and our fellow gay brothers and sisters out. It's a scary thought that if the right wing Republicans knew there was a possibility that a gay man might enjoy sex with a woman, even if it's only 2% of the time, that they would somehow use that to crush gay rights even more than they are now. So a lot of us won't even allow ourselves to contemplate it.
Then again, there are those of us who simply like the company of those of the same sex and that's it.
We tend to see ourselves reflected in other people. Take a gay man who had spent time claiming to be bisexual while deep down wishing he could just be okay with being gay. Once he's out and proud and waving his rainbow flag and he comes across a bisexual man, his first reaction is to see himself, what he went through, the pain and suffering, shame and what not. So his reaction is to assume this bisexual man is doing the same thing. His anger towards the bisexual man is really his anger at himself for wasting so much time when he could have been happier much earlier in life. The problem is that this bisexual man is more than likely not going through the same things, but we, as humans, can't always grasp that.
As far as gay men not being able to deal with the possibility of their own bisexual nature, I think a lot of this comes from society forcing us to be heterosexual in our development. Straight people do not need to come out to their parents, families and friends. They don't need to fight to marry, fight to be accepted, fight to be themselves. So once we go through all the hurdles that our society has placed on us to be happy and well centered homosexuals, we feel that if we have sex with someone of the opposite gender that we've somehow sold ourselves and our fellow gay brothers and sisters out. It's a scary thought that if the right wing Republicans knew there was a possibility that a gay man might enjoy sex with a woman, even if it's only 2% of the time, that they would somehow use that to crush gay rights even more than they are now. So a lot of us won't even allow ourselves to contemplate it.
Then again, there are those of us who simply like the company of those of the same sex and that's it.
