Why do guys always text but never call?

[Zildjian]

Do ppl text-only because they're shy or is there some other reason?

Well I text/IM/email instead of calling because I'm very concerned about not intruding in someone's personal life. For example, I had a friend that, with everytime I called him, he was too busy or hanging out with his other 'cool' friends, to talk to me.

I guess that did it for me. So I don't call anyone, if I don't have to. An email, IM, or text message is less intrusive and they can reply at their convenience.

Not to mention that I'm shy as well.

 

[andyroux]

when you first swap numbers, it's easier to txt than to call... plus you are still getting to know one another so you may not be comfortable talking to them over the phone... that's exactly how i am... until i am completely comfortable with you i won't call you... and it's like zildjian said, less intrusive... they won't feel like you are smothering them right away

 

[DiverDude]

^^ AndyRoux is my old roommate! ^^

Even though I'm in a relationship currently, my boyfriend and I talk much less than we text. We're both on different schedules, and I work in an environment where I don't keep my phone on me. He is frequently in class, etc., so it's just easier for us to leave txt messages for each other.

We're becoming a less social, more technological world. I notice all of the heteros doing it too, so it's not just a gay guy thing.

 

[rareboy]

Don't you find it strange (and a little off-putting) that ppl don't seem to call anymore -- they just swap text messages. To me, it appears as a poor harbinger for how much effort someone is going to make in a relationship later on -- if you won't even call, even briefly, but would rather text, what other corners are you going to cut later in the relationship?

Absolutely. Everyone is hiding behind text now.

I find that the socially and emotionally insecure use it more because it doesn't require emotion only emoticons.

As long as he isn't proposing that your date or your sexual encounters be just through text, I'd be willing to see if he comes out of his shell.

But I do despair. I see more and more people under 25 having terrible times establishing healthy relationships and one of the common factors seems to be that they are spending more time texting their feelings than talking about them.

 

[KaraBulut]

Absolutely. Everyone is hiding behind text now.

I find that the socially and emotionally insecure use it more because it doesn't require emotion only emoticons.

As long as he isn't proposing that your date or your sexual encounters be just through text, I'd be willing to see if he comes out of his shell.

But I do despair. I see more and more people under 25 having terrible times establishing healthy relationships and one of the common factors seems to be that they are spending more time texting their feelings than talking about them.

It's not often that I disagree with rareboy but...

I don't completely disagree... but I don't see any difference between the love letters of a hundred years ago and the emails/text messages that people send today. It's all communication. And it's often easier to put into written words than it is to say out loud.

I would agree that some things should be discussed in person. Not email. Not text. And preferably not on a cell phone in a public place or while driving on the freeway.

Given the opportunity, I would prefer that someone be next to me be texting instead of talking loudly on their cell phone. A while back, I was in a store shopping and the woman next to me was talking loudly on her phone about her Pap smear and the rest of her gynecological exam. I would have preferred that she text the details about her vagina instead of sharing it everyone else in the store.

With that said, txting is mking ppl talk n ncomplt sentences & ur losing the ability 2 spell. L8tr.

 

[Just_Believe18]

I'm from the 1st generation digital age. I've noticed this too, but I feel on the fence for a couple of reasons:

1. Cell phone is now an extension of online chatting. Sure, you can give your cell number out to a new guy, however, in many cases it's with the stipulation to "text me" not call me. I don't want to get strange calls in the middle of my day or when I'm doing something. A text is fine.

2. Drama via text letters. However, I see the problem. I was in a long distance relationship for several months before it became real. Instead of seeing or interacting with someone, I was doing it through a chat program. I had good times and bad times on that thing. Is it normal human interaction? From a social perspective, no. I found that I could communicate with my partner better through writing than I could verbally. An obvious weakness.

3. Newer generations. I'm noticing that online interaction is overwhelming today's teenagers. Everything is texting, Myspace, texting, texting, Facebook. Because they are spending hours performing these activities, it is developing their social capacities. I don't think this is a good thing because face-to-face communication is essential to business, family, and persuasion. For the expert communicator, this is making it very easy to manipulate the masses.

 

[rareboy]

With that said, txting is mking ppl talk n ncomplt sentences & ur losing the ability 2 spell. L8tr.

And that, Kara, is what I'm talking about. The difference between the love letters of 150 years ago and the shrtfrmdrvl that passes for communication today is simple. People used to use language like poetry. They wrote of feelings and events and world politics and their gardens and love. Much of the time, if the lovers were far apart, the letters spoke of how much they yearned to be with the other. Leters had to mean something; they were invested with more effort, right down to penmanship and perfuming.

How sad it was when the telephone led to the decline of beautiful correspondence that would be bound with ribbons and re-read and saved through the centuries. But at tleast, the phone allowed the sound of real laughter, or tears, or anger. The arrival of lazy, short form text messaging has led to infinitely more misunderstandings between people than ever.

Words have been reduced to sterile and virtually meaningless grunts.

 

[Jory]

What I do is when I call some one I met on line or at a bar is usually to call during my morning break 10:30 am that way I can keep the conversation short only 10 minutes and if I get their voice mail I leave a short introduction with my number.

 

[KaraBulut]

And that, Kara, is what I'm talking about. The difference between the love letters of 150 years ago and the shrtfrmdrvl that passes for communication today is simple. .

Dear and Beloved, Here am I, and you at the Antipodes. O execrable facts, that keep our lips from kissing, though our souls are one. When can I tell you by letter? Alas! nothing that I would tell you. The message of the gods to each other travel not by pen and ink and indeed your bodily presence here would not make you more real: for I feel your fingers in my hair, and your cheek brushing mine. The air is full of the music of your voice, my soul and body seem no longer mine, but mingled in some exquisite ecstasy with yours. I feel incomplete without you. Ever and ever yours, Oscar.


I dunno- someday, when the kids of today are old and gray and nodding by the fire, they may very well say, "Do you remember the first time that you texted me saying , "I <3 u" ?

 

[swerve]

I guess my take on this is a little different than those posted above...

I think he was being COURTEOUS by texting...

You ALREADY admitted to a fucked up work schedule...

SO -- by TEXTING you could receive his invitation at YOUR convenience...

I hope you guys HIT IT OFF and have a GREAT TIME!!!

 

[tallguy297]

Hey ediebrickell,

Mate - Welcome to JUB!...and thanks for your post!!

Its an interesting question and as you can see here theres a lot of opinions on the subject...

To me, this is about balance.

Text if its used properly can be an additional sign of devotion, a sign that you are in someones thoughts thats easy to show with a text... or a quick form of communication of fairly inconsequential things...
like pick up the laundry, I'm running late, where are you... that sort of stuff.

Used right its just another way to stay in touch.

But it should never be the way to talk about big things, important things, emotional things and things that really matter. Text can never replace words and emotion. It should never be the easy way out and it shouldn't be the only way you communicate when you are apart.

Its a balance like I said... text has its time and place... but its not every time and everyplace. Talk to your guy mate... find out what hes really thinking... he may think theres nothing wrong with what hes doing but you still need to let him know your concerns.

Relationships should never be just about the easy way out.

 

[rareboy]

i hate to be the bearer of bad news but it's 2008, EVERYTHING is about the easy way out.

Well marley, let us know how this works out for you in building and maintaining longterm friendships and relationships.

 

[Telstra]

i call the people i know well like family and friends

but i text the people who i don't know to meet and have fun.

 

[Luka]

i hate talking on the phone, its awkward, so i text, haha