I never thought that I'd be interested in having a cock in my mouth, far from it. I love beautiful female bodies. However, recently I was shopping for men's underwear, something beyond standard white jockeys, and found myself admiring the bulges of the models wearing the sexy bikini briefs. Eventually I searched for nude models displaying erections in all their glory, and now can't explain what happened, and is happening, to me. I thought that some were absolutely beautiful, so much so that I can't get them out of my mind. I have to be aware, though, that the incredible erections with which I'm obsessed are shown without the model's face visible. This makes me wonder if I'm obsessed with an abstraction and can't handle the real thing. Could it be a kind of misdirected narcissism? A girlfriend from years ago gave wonderful head and surprised me by swallowing. She said that I tasted good and that she loved the feel of my cock pumping when I came. Now I have fantasies, however brief, of playing her role, feeling an orgasm in my mouth. I am confused, and turned on, at the same time. Maybe someone has helpful advice?