Why do I keep getting hit on by straight women at gay bars?

[Toosmarttobehappy]

Hi everyone!! New person here in the forum just wondering if other gay guys get hit on and fondled by drunk or at least buzzed , presumably straight women at a gay bar?

It has happened to me three separate times in the last two weeks. They start talking to me, say i'm adorable,ask me if I am gay or straight,etc,I am flattered but uh, duh,I am a single dude in a GAY bar, what do you think?

The last time, I was dancing and one lady and her friend started grabbing my ass and crotch like I was some type of stripper or something.

What gives?

 

[mikeyjon]

Cute guy, plus women and alcohol, gay or straight...your going to get hit on.

 

[Toosmarttobehappy]

Cute guy, plus women and alcohol, gay or straight...your going to get hit on.

Ok, that I understand....but correct me if I am wrong. in a straight bar isn't it mostly the men that hit on the women, buy them drinks, etc?or has that changed and now women in staight bars are hitting on the men?

I am a guy in a gay bar, if I was interested in the chicks I would be at a straight bar.. but the odd thing is, I have never had a guy grab my ass or my crotch at a gay bar and I have been to many different gay bars over the years.

Yes, I have been hit on by drunk guys at a gay bar, but never like that.

That brings me to my next question. Why are single, straight women, who I guess are mostly what we call fag hags, no offense intended, hanging out and hitting on gay guys at the gay bar. The fags should be taking better care of their hags don't you think?

 

[G-Lexington]

Welcome to JUB!

It seems the gay community is pretty divided about straights-in-the-gay-bar. I personally don't have a problem with them, and welcome them. I think it just means we're cool enough that everybody wants to hang out with us. But others find that they're cockblocking, or causing the hot guys to stay home, or to not hit on guys as actively.

Lex

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

You're getting hit on and you're... mad?

Maybe they're hoping you're bi, like a lot of gay guys hope some straight guys are at least curious.

Thank them and keep it moving.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

They know you're gay... so you're SAFE. They can have fun with you, knowing you're not going to end up date raping them, or (hopefully) get too offended at their fun.

 

[zoltanspawn]

You pretty much don't have to tolerate people--anyone--grabbing your crotch or ass.

Make it known.

 

[bokan800]

try getting hit on by butch lesbians while in drag...

 

[Toosmarttobehappy]

They know you're gay... so you're SAFE. They can have fun with you, knowing you're not going to end up date raping them, or (hopefully) get too offended at their fun.

You would think they know that I am gay, but they have asked me If I was gay or straight, or if I have ever been married.

One lady was making out with, and putting her hands down her husband's pants, and then started hitting and grinding on me after he left to go dance! I had to get up and leave because it was really awkward.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>One lady was making out with, and putting her hands down her husband's pants, and then started hitting and grinding on me after he left to go dance! I had to get up and leave because it was really awkward.

Well, I won't play absolutes here, but if a married (how do you know? rings?) couple went to a gay bar and started making out, I'm assuming this is a relationship with at least a little flexibility in it, if you catch my meaning. I've had guys leave their boyfriends and come flirt with/grind against/grope me, and I just say "Sorry - I'm not interested in somebody who already has somebody". I say it nicely, and they usually take it well.

Lex

 

[Toosmarttobehappy]

Well, I won't play absolutes here, but if a married (how do you know? rings?) couple went to a gay bar and started making out, I'm assuming this is a relationship with at least a little flexibility in it, if you catch my meaning. I've had guys leave their boyfriends and come flirt with/grind against/grope me, and I just say "Sorry - I'm not interested in somebody who already has somebody". I say it nicely, and they usually take it well.

Lex

Well, she showed me her wedding ring and told me she was married to the guy that went to dance.. but, the thing is, I told her I was gay and she kept hitting on me and grinding on me... geez, lady, I am not interested!

And I wonder why I cannot meet any quality people at the bars.

I know, people have worse problems than being hit on at the bars..lol

 

[healingduck]

Yea, for the most part I would think they are just having fun; not actually wanting to hook up.....Then again, anything is possible with alcohol

 

[maxpowr9]

I take it in stride. I have been hit on by women from ages 18 to 80 (no joke). I find it a bit flattering but I tell them that I am not interested.

 

[Toosmarttobehappy]

http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys3/drigo.gif[/img]

Well, it's flattering, at least at first, and then i'm like, what part of gay do you not get? Now that I think about it one of the women that hit on me looked like that Ke$ha lady... maybe I should have gotten to know her better. LOL. I ended up going home alone that night.

 

[mikeyjon]

Ok, that I understand....but correct me if I am wrong. in a straight bar isn't it mostly the men that hit on the women, buy them drinks, etc?or has that changed and now women in staight bars are hitting on the men?

I am a guy in a gay bar, if I was interested in the chicks I would be at a straight bar.. but the odd thing is, I have never had a guy grab my ass or my crotch at a gay bar and I have been to many different gay bars over the years.

Yes, I have been hit on by drunk guys at a gay bar, but never like that.

That brings me to my next question. Why are single, straight women, who I guess are mostly what we call fag hags, no offense intended, hanging out and hitting on gay guys at the gay bar. The fags should be taking better care of their hags don't you think?

Women love us gay guys. I think that makes them feel safe with us, and maybe more inclined to be too touchy, and clingy at times.

It's a curse of being gay. Being loved by straight women more then gay men.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

Remember... HOT women attract HOT guys. Get in good with them, and who knows where it might take you. At the very least, some nice straight guy eye-candy... at best, you're not the ONLY gay friend they have. NETWORK.

 

[Toosmarttobehappy]

Women love us gay guys. I think that makes them feel safe with us, and maybe more inclined to be too touchy, and clingy at times.

It's a curse of being gay. Being loved by straight women more then gay men.

Well, I do get treated better by the straight women at the bar than most of the gay men that seem to think they are too good for me.

Makes me wonder how they would treat me if both of us were at a straight bar...would I be some creepy straight dude then?

 

[Orlandude]

There seems to be two kinds of straight women who go to gay bars, as I've seen.

There are those who just wander in off the street who are there only for "kicks" to see how many gay guys they can grope and tease, something they would never do in a straight bar for fear of being labeled sluts. I have no problem tellling those kinds of women to fuck off because they are doing it deliberately to satisfy their own twisted pathology.

The other kind are basically fag hags who love gay men and will play around because they know they are in a non-threatening environment. They just enjoy being around gay men for the friendships they can't have with straight guys.

 

[rhodie]

you must be a "hottie"...........

 

[CHUCK905]

I had a straight (well mostly straight) male friend who did his best scoring of "chicks" (his word) at gay bars. The women would assume he was gay or bi, flirt, he'd flirt back, and voile they'd be in a cab back to his place. I saw this happen time and again while my gay ass would go home alone. Grrrrrr!

Some gay bars, not all, not the leather bars or bear bars but the more music / college oriented, are known to women as places where they can hang out, drink, meet good-looking men who aren't drunk frat brothers who are going to date rape them and maybe just maybe be good for a hook-up.

Strange but true.