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Why do people think that bisexual is just another term for homosexual?

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biman24

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I am a 24 year-old man and I am currently dating another man, who is 36. Both of us are bisexual. This is my first relationship with a man, hee has been with both before, and actually has a young son from a previous relationship. We are both very much attracted to women, even though we are in an exclusive and committed relationship. I've always been attracted to males and females as far back as I can remember.

The problem is, that a lot of people, both heterosexual and homosexual, tell us both that we are in denial, that we are just homosexual, that we are self-haters etc... The basic point is that bisexual men don't exist, and that we're just saying that we are because it's a compensation for coming out as exclusively homosexual. It seems very hypciticsl from homosexual people, because they know what it's like to deal with prejudicd and not being accepted, yet they do the same to us.

What do you guys think, agree, disagree, please tell your thoughts on the matter.
 
Why does it bother you, what others think...just be who you are, self discovery takes a life time...then we die.
 
It was the most amazing shock to me the first time I encountered this one of the first times I visited an online forum and from an individual that claimed to be a gay rights activist. I had felt that the one place I would find understanding was in the gay community and instead in this first case I found ridicule and hatred. I've found many good people since in these forums so I've come to understand in all groups there are going to be a few people who just think in boxes and let that color their view of the world.
 
It's something call bi-denying, which is why I'm not really happy with Dan Savage of It Gets Better. He did so much to support gay rights but he totally threw bisexual people under the bus when he basically said that bisexuality doesn't exist and that someone coming out as bi is a coward for not coming out as gay.
 
biman24 said:
I am a 24 year-old man and I am currently dating another man, who is 36. Both of us are bisexual. This is my first relationship with a man, hee has been with both before, and actually has a young son from a previous relationship. We are both very much attracted to women, even though we are in an exclusive and committed relationship. I've always been attracted to males and females as far back as I can remember.

The problem is, that a lot of people, both heterosexual and homosexual, tell us both that we are in denial, that we are just homosexual, that we are self-haters etc... The basic point is that bisexual men don't exist, and that we're just saying that we are because it's a compensation for coming out as exclusively homosexual. It seems very hypciticsl from homosexual people, because they know what it's like to deal with prejudicd and not being accepted, yet they do the same to us.

What do you guys think, agree, disagree, please tell your thoughts on the matter.
Click to expand...

Blame the other bisexuals-just kidding you flame throwers! But a psychologist who does a lot of work with bis told me that most men who self identify as bi are actually gay whereas most women who self identify as bi really are. If this is really true, and it seems the general perception is that it is, then you are being caught up in a generalization. Individual results may vary!!
 
because a lot of gay guys will label themselves as bisexual first as a means of half-way stepping out of the closet... it gives the legitimately bi guys a bad rap when they eventually are like "lol jk, I'm really gay not bi."
 
Bisexuality is often the first stop a lot of gay men arrive at before fully coming out of the closet. These same people are usually struggling with their sexuality and are likely to say things like "I want children; I want a wife; I want a normal life." Eventually they come out as gay. To me these people were never "bisexual."

Two of my friends arrived at this point in college, and I who had been there done that years prior saw right through it. One, claiming to be bi, refused to go the straight club with my friends and I. He only wanted to go to the gay bars because he was gay. He now claims to be gay. My other friend arrived at the pan sexual, then bisexual, and finally gay stop. He's still having a hard time being perceived as gay, but has gotten bother. I knew both would eventually come out as gay, just as I did when I claimed to be bi in middle school, knowing damn well I'd never sleep with a woman.

In my opinion, these people were never really bisexual. They were just struggling with their identity. Actual bisexual are out there, but their reputation is grossly defined by struggling homosexuals. You know who you want and I wouldn't let anyone take that away from you :)
 
MarkScott said:
... a psychologist who does a lot of work with bis told me that most men who self identify as bi are actually gay whereas most women who self identify as bi really are. If this is really true, and it seems the general perception is that it is, then you are being caught up in a generalization. Individual results may vary!!
Click to expand...

This makes sense, especially given that men in this culture are under more pressure to conform sexually. That doesn't mean some men aren't truly bi. I don't know about "most" being gay, but certainly some. For some people, it's quite reasonable to go through a bi phase on the way to gay, but it's not universal. I went from lesbian to bi, so I can't speak to that personally.

Some resources on biphobia and bisexuality myths

http://robynochs.com/bisexual/
http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Biphobia
http://www.scienceofrelationships.com/home/2012/8/2/bisexuality-myths-debunked-by-science.html
http://queereka.com/2013/01/19/myth...to-say-to-your-bisexual-acquaintances-part-1/
http://queereka.com/2013/01/20/myth...to-say-to-your-bisexual-acquaintances-part-2/


Also, I have 36 other thread subscriptions here on the topic of bisexuality -- and there are probably some I missed.
 
darden said:
because a lot of gay guys will label themselves as bisexual first as a means of half-way stepping out of the closet...it gives the legitimately bi guys a bad rap when they eventually are like "lol jk, I'm really gay not bi."
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this.

There's a shit ton of that going on, so it causes some gay guys to roll their eyes when they hear the 'i'm bisexual' line.
 
I consider bi as another term for gay simply in terms of "I have a chance with this guy because he's at least somewhat into guys". That doesn't mean I think his interest in women isn't real. :)

Lex
 
I think a lot of people get confused by the range of bisexuality that can exist. One can claim to be bisexual whether only occasionally being with a female or being only occasionally with a male.

In any event I would ignore the labels and just do your own thing.
 
Bisexual is real.
Some gays say they are bi or straight because they lied.
Example: Tag Haggard, Marcus Bachmann ... etc
 
since you explained yourself well here, then I believe you're truly bisexual.
 
I can't recall his name off hand, but we had a very vocal JUBber here who argued in defense of bisxuality--both for it's existence and for it being his own reality. He was very popular, handsome and likeable guy. He argued and argued with everyone about the subject. He even wrote a lengthy blog about it. Then one day he admitted that he was gay. I think he fell in love and became honest with himself. I had a lot of respect for the fact that he was willing to admit this publicly and not just disappear. He no longer posts here, as far as I know, but my point in mentioning him is to say that bisexuals need to own their responsibility for how they are viewed by others, just as non-bisexuals need to STFU about other's sexuality. Things have a way of coming out in the wash anyway.

Lots of people have accused gays of being gay only because they have never been with a girl or because they haven't met the right girl. There are also lots of gay guys who insist on believing any guy is capable of being gay given the right circumstances. We all take our share of shit, I guess.
 
biman24 said:
I am a 24 year-old man and I am currently dating another man, who is 36. Both of us are bisexual. This is my first relationship with a man, hee has been with both before, and actually has a young son from a previous relationship. We are both very much attracted to women, even though we are in an exclusive and committed relationship. I've always been attracted to males and females as far back as I can remember.

The problem is, that a lot of people, both heterosexual and homosexual, tell us both that we are in denial, that we are just homosexual, that we are self-haters etc... The basic point is that bisexual men don't exist, and that we're just saying that we are because it's a compensation for coming out as exclusively homosexual. It seems very hypciticsl from homosexual people, because they know what it's like to deal with prejudicd and not being accepted, yet they do the same to us.

What do you guys think, agree, disagree, please tell your thoughts on the matter.
Click to expand...

obvious so obvious any land of awsums piles mak great doodoo ova it cause
if no idea planet round ans spin a eons


thankyou
 
sixthson said:
I can't recall his name off hand, but we had a very vocal JUBber here who argued in defense of bisxuality--both for it's existence and for it being his own reality. He was very popular, handsome and likeable guy. He argued and argued with everyone about the subject. He even wrote a lengthy blog about it. Then one day he admitted that he was gay. I think he fell in love and became honest with himself. I had a lot of respect for the fact that he was willing to admit this publicly and not just disappear. He no longer posts here, as far as I know, but my point in mentioning him is to say that bisexuals need to own their responsibility for how they are viewed by others, just as non-bisexuals need to STFU about other's sexuality. Things have a way of coming out in the wash anyway.

Lots of people have accused gays of being gay only because they have never been with a girl or because they haven't met the right girl. There are also lots of gay guys who insist on believing any guy is capable of being gay given the right circumstances. We all take our share of shit, I guess.
Click to expand...

Great post!
 
I think some young men are attracted to both men and women, or, at least, can enjoy sex with either. BUT as they grow older they find that thy are mostly attracted to men and enjoy women less or not at all. A generation ago and before, many men married, had families and later realized that they prefer men. We're they ever bi, or only forcing them selves?
 
Because you're a fucking HOMOSEXUAL.

Stop fooling yourself because the rest of the world sees self proclaimed "bisexuals" as selfish cowardly, and a-moral. You are GAY dude. If "bisexuality" truly exists, why don't we see men in relationships with other men who secretly sneak out the house to have sex with women? Ask yourself that question the next time you're slobbering on your boyfriend's "bisexual" cock.
 
-Kane- said:
Because you're a fucking HOMOSEXUAL.

Stop fooling yourself because the rest of the world sees self proclaimed "bisexuals" as selfish cowardly, and a-moral. You are GAY dude. If "bisexuality" truly exists, why don't we see men in relationships with other men who secretly sneak out the house to have sex with women? Ask yourself that question the next time your slobbering on your boyfriend's "bisexual" cock.
Click to expand...

who's to say that doesn't happen?

my cousin claims to be a lesbian, and she's married to another woman, but I know for a fact that over the course of her marriage, she's had affairs with at least two men that I know of.
 
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