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Why do some gay men want to be apart of the status quo?

T

Toy-Boy

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I hear so many of us who complain about this "lifestyle", and how you we want to live the "normal American dream" with a wife, 2.5 kids, and a white picket fence. Why do so many of us want something that everyone wants us to want. Why can't we create our own American dream?
 
I know. Its weird when i hear a gay man say how it upsets him that he cant experiance the whole wife, kids, house etc and the "dream". To me that would be a nightmare lol

I just want a man, somewhere comfortable to live, a gym close and a starbucks on every corner and I would be fine.
 
Living the normal American dream is the easy way out. I agree with you on creating are own American dream

Slips
 
It is the most acceptable lifestyle. Everyone is doing it, so some gays secretly wish they were "fixed" so they live this acceptable/"easy" lifestyle.
 
"If people don't like me how will I know if I like myself ??"

- Grace Adler

:roll:
 
xXSeanXx said:
Jesus christ. Have you never herd/read a gay man say they wish they could have the american dream type life (wife/kid(s)/house/job)?
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No, I have never "herd/read a gay man say they wish they could have the american dream type life (wife/kid(s)/house/job)".
 
hungrybrownbear said:
No, I have never "herd/read a gay man say they wish they could have the american dream type life (wife/kid(s)/house/job)".
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Sometimes being deviant gets in the way of the things I want to do with my life. (I'm not just talking about sexuality here) I'll make sacrifices to get what I want. Besides, there are a lot of things I value more than relationships.

If I was after the american dream, I would consider making sacrifices for it too if that's what I really wanted. I'm really not, but it does sound nice. I could see why it might appeal to some gay men.

Just my 2 cents.
 
I want to get married and have kids and live in a nice house. What on Earth is wrong with that?
I want a husband however - if this is the point and I have completely missed it...

And it's not going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination - I see every day how much my parents struggle... not to mention intervene when they cannot afford important things and try and sort my sisters behaviour out. My stepdad is a lost cause, however... but playing house isn't as easy as you claim it to be.

Sitting back, enjoying life in a nice appartment going out often is the easy way out.
 
I said something a few weeks ago about this, so I searched it out and I may as well quote myself:

But I do think that especially in the United States, the gay community has become somewhat obsessed with A WORD, one which speaks to me of a MAINSTREAM HETEROSEXUAL LIFESTYLE, one where the bride and groom cut the cake, throw the bouquet, and go on honeymoon, before settling in the suburbs with picket fences and raising 2.4 children.

WHY WOULD ANY SECULAR GAY MAN WANT TO EMULATE THIS LIFESTYLE?

I strongly feel that the gay community should instead be saying:

"We'll let them have THEIR lifestlyle. It's not OURS. But we'll fight for every right for ourselves that THEIR religious marriage ritual brings them. But we'll call it something else."
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For some people it's about that lifestyle. For all of us it's about the rights and the option. I don't want to assimilate. I don't think it's right how marriage, in some ways, values certain families over others, perpetuates privileges, but I think it's unrealistic to think that society is going to be transformed on any common front anytime soon, and in the mean time I want legal rights.
 
I think what "we" need to do is to get rid of this "us" and "them" mentality. After all, isn't that what "we" want "them" to do?

People are people. What makes me happy may not be what makes you happy. So as Bob Dylan said, "you go your way and I'll go mine". Maybe we'll meet somewhere along the way and maybe we won't, but I won't stand in your path
 
It has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with being gay. I know some straight people who think marriage is evil and routinely compare it to slavery. People of all types want to get married and people of all types want to stay single, practice polygamy, polyamory, an open relationship, a master/slave relationship, whatever. I think as long as there is respect, sharing, and intimacy they are all positive.

STRAIGHT AND GAY PEOPLE HAVE ALL TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS. THOSE OF US WHO ARE GAY AND WANT TO BE MARRIED ARE FIGHTING FOR THE RIGHT TO DO THAT. IT DOESN'T MEAN WE ARE ASSIMILATING AND IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO.
 
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