Why I doubt I'll ever have a LTR with a guy

[kayman23]

I am a fluid bisexual that at a lot of time will borderline asexual. I go through long periods where I don't have a sexual attraction to either sex. I do tend to be attracted more to males than females. However, when I comes to relationships, I get along 10x better when it comes to females than males. Also one of the reasons why I haven't had anytime of full blown sex with guys has every guy that has been attracted to me just wants sex thing else.

I'm not really one of those types that want to have sex with a guy just randomly b/c I must be emotionally attracted to someone to have a sustainable sexually attraction to the point I want to have sex.

So far with my relationships, I can actually have a relationship (sexually and emotionally) with females because they have allowed the development of a relationship. I've come across way too many guys that are too high string on having sex and neglecting developing a relationship with me, so I just drop them all together.

As far as relationships go for the time being, I'm good with being celibate.

I just felt like venting.

 

[Kulindahr]

I've read that women settle into relationship mode earlier in life than guys do -- and a lot of guys never do.

I can totally relate to a lot of that first post, including times when I might as well be neuter because I don't get turned on by anyone at all.

But... my ideal long-term relationship would be a group or line "marriage" with males and females both, with different ages too. Other than that, I wonder if I'll always wonder what it would have been like to go the other way.

 

[paul-oshawa]

I love having sex with men and I love having sex with women.
Lately, and for a while, guys have been totally first on the list, but I could never imagine myself having a LTR with a guy.....maybe it's just me!

 

[pkermiver]

I can completely relate. I'm more turned on by gay porn than I am straight porn, but every real encounter I've had hasn't turned me on at all. The couple straight relationships I've had have been much much more exciting sexually, I think because I had an emotional connection to the women. I find it a lot harder to emotionally connect to men. Can't really figure it out exactly, but for whatever reason watching gay sex is much more interesting to me than actually partaking. I'm guessing I'll never quite get it figured out.

 

[kayman23]

You obviously aren't meeting guys like me. I was always relationship oriented. I was always the one that was always hoping for more than just sex.

Well, that's good to know, but I know none of them are in Birmingham. Like you, the few decent guys I have met here aren't even from Birmingham originally or aren't even living anywhere near Birmingham. It seems to me that most guys around here are straight-up ho-bags, and the seedy ones at that. I would rather be asexual than get with some of the hobags around here.

Also, another thing is the ethnicity/complexion/race thing with most bi/gay guys around here. I'm attracted to guys of all ethnicities (black, white, Latin, Asian, etc.) and I really have no preference, but if I do met a guy it seems they all are only obsessed with white guys even the ones that are non-white. I've never in my life seen so many people with racial bias as I have with the guys around here.

I love living here, but I would much rather be alone than deal with some of the closed-minded losers around here.

 

[kayman23]

Hey there buddy up the road,


I know exactly how you feel, aside from being bisexual/asexual. I agree that it does seems to be hard to find a genuine guy who wants you for more than sex these days.

I've pretty much told myself that I'm just going to have to focus on other areas of my life, and let the 'right guy', or someone close to it, into my life. I still get hit on occasionally, but those nice guys who want me for everything else I have to offer are few and far between.

It gets frustrating sometime on those lonely nights...but I usually try to remind myself of all the other things that are going right for me in my life. It keeps me from getting down or depressed about it all...

Hey! Just by looking at your name I'm guessing you are located in Huntsville.

Anyways, I see I'm not the only one that seems to be dealing with this problem here in Alabama.

 

[gameboy 11]

A black guy with hazel eyes?!

I'd LOVE to see pics! ^_^

 

[teh_nathan]

I can identify with most of this. I'm also a fluid bisexual (depends on the day, the rotation of the earth, the phase of the moon, etc).

I get along better with males than females, that's the difference. Not that I'm trying to be noticed but generally speaking, I'm pretty much invisible. The last time I was noticed, I was walking past a club that had much older guys (50's, 60's maybe?) and that was downright creepy the way I was looked at (I'm not ageist, I'm really not, please don't think it has anything to do with that).

I also don't like the whole random sex thing. It's not for everyone - and I find that most of the time, that's all that guys want. Of course there are exceptions (and I know of a few, right here, in this forum) but they are the minority.

For new (to me) people I've just met online, I have to constantly poke and prod them to start (or continue) a conversation. I think if someone's interested in talking to me, they should act like it, ask questions, start conversations, take an interest. It seems too much to ask for anymore and I shouldn't have to do all the work.

Most guys I know - who I really like - live quite far away, so it's just not realistically possible to have a relationship with any of them. Considering my last long-distance relationship completely flopped, that's not something I care to try again anytime soon - and it's been three years since then.

I'm used to being pretty much celibate. It doesn't bother me.

So I'm used to most of my friends living far away. I can't change it, and there's no point to complaining about things I can't change, so I've decided to live with it.

There's my 2cents.

 

[Kulindahr]

You obviously aren't meeting guys like me. I was always relationship oriented. I was always the one that was always hoping for more than just sex.

I went through my "whore phase" when I first came out, hunting for sex all over with anyone reasonable good looking. Now I'm to the point I can hardly even get hard for someone unless I like him and think he's kool!

 

[kayman23]

Damn. Sounds like there's a shortage of good guys to meet there in Birmingham. You and Huntneo need to get out to Atlanta. lol

That would be cool, but I don't like really going to Atlanta at all anymore. I got burnt out on Atlanta by the time I was 18 as my hometown is half way between Birmingham and Atlanta, so I was there all the time. In addition, if I was to meet somebody there it would be highly doubtful that they would want to come to Birmingham no more than I would like to go to Atlanta.