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Why is everyone *so consumed* with masc vs. fem debates?

Ram

Ram

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Masc vs Fem threads are like the race threads here: real issues that plague our community but no one likes to deal with them. Sure, there are " a lot" of people debating about it but they are definitely a little less annoying than the people who think they are above it all but continue perpetuating the threads by debating in them and/or pointing them out in other threads.
 
RazorzEdge88 said:
I think we have a lot of very insecure people here.
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there few dozen folk what fill space cause nothin do not LOT repeat da same shit ova ans ova ans ovarepeat da same shit ova ans ova ans ovarepeat da same shit ova ans ova ans ovarepeat da same shit ova ans ova ans ovarepeat da same shit ova ans ova ans ovarepeat da same shit ova ans ova ans ova

like world newsmedia got nothin ta do forgot> repeat da same shit ova ans ova ans ova

like tv folkys > forgotrepeat da same shit ova ans ova ans ova repeat da same shit ova ans ova ans ova

ans etc

suburbanite drones with da fog horns fa butt plugs

internet a wack job what say lot da countrys they come from

:D

Suburbanites more noise then universe when it fart
 
I don't really care about them. I am myself and proud enough to be myself that i don't need to bother with labels or social stigma. It's hard not to believe that those people are insecure about their own mascu/fem that they have to inflict those insecurities on others.
 
SuperDave said:
I don't really care about them. I am myself and proud enough to be myself that i don't need to bother with labels or social stigma. It's hard not to believe that those people are insecure about their own mascu/fem that they have to inflict those insecurities on others.
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Well said! :=D:
 
Ram said:
Masc vs Fem threads are like the race threads here: real issues that plague our community but no one likes to deal with them. Sure, there are " a lot" of people debating about it but they are definitely a little less annoying than the people who think they are above it all but continue perpetuating the threads by debating in them and/or pointing them out in other threads.
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Great answer.
BearDaddy said:
just embrace your fem side RazorzEdge88

fuck'em if they cant accept you as you are ;)
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Another great answer.
SLOPPYSECONDS said:
suburbanite drones with da fog horns fa butt plugs
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This is the only thing I've ever understood from Sloppy, and one of the best quotes on JUB.

To the OP: Why do we debate these issues? Because they are real. But some people refuse to accept that. It's a form of denial that even some out, sorta-proud guys have.

People's self image don't always reflect reality. Ever meet a guy online and find out that he's significantly different in person than how he described himself?
 
Most of us grew up with our masculinity being called into question, and usually in a rather harsh and possibly violent manner. And most of us eventually stopped spending time with such people, and the ones we did hang out with didn't mention our femininity - partially because they didn't care, and partially because they (perhaps instinctively) knew that it was a sore spot growing up, and perhaps it wasn't a good idea to dwell on that topic.

So as time went on, and people stopped mentioning our feminine ways, we grew to believe they didn't exist. Hey, nobody said anything, so they're not there, right? It's certainly easier on our still-fragile ego to think that we're 100% straight acting than it is to think that the thing we got bullied for as a kid is still visible for the world to see.

Part of my job involves playing back recordings of my voice, and watching video footage of myself. Doing this on a regular basis, it's hard to maintain the illusion in my mind's eye that I'm 100% straight-acting. Right there - that eye movement, that hand motion, the way I said that word - all effeminate. And each time I see and hear it, I fight those bullies again. Not by butching it up, but by having to convince myself yet again that yes, I'm somewhat effeminate, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Lex
 
Lube said:
To the OP: Why do we debate these issues? Because they are real. But some people refuse to accept that. It's a form of denial that even some out, sorta-proud guys have.
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Will you get off your high-assed horse and quit fuckin' pretending you're Dr. Phil!!!

You Don't Know EVERYTHING!!!

For fuck's sake, man! YOU ARE NOT GOD!!!
 
G-Lexington said:
Most of us grew up with our masculinity being called into question, and usually in a rather harsh and possibly violent manner. And most of us eventually stopped spending time with such people, and the ones we did hang out with didn't mention our femininity - partially because they didn't care, and partially because they (perhaps instinctively) knew that it was a sore spot growing up, and perhaps it wasn't a good idea to dwell on that topic.

So as time went on, and people stopped mentioning our feminine ways, we grew to believe they didn't exist. Hey, nobody said anything, so they're not there, right? It's certainly easier on our still-fragile ego to think that we're 100% straight acting than it is to think that the thing we got bullied for as a kid is still visible for the world to see.

Part of my job involves playing back recordings of my voice, and watching video footage of myself. Doing this on a regular basis, it's hard to maintain the illusion in my mind's eye that I'm 100% straight-acting. Right there - that eye movement, that hand motion, the way I said that word - all effeminate. And each time I see and hear it, I fight those bullies again. Not by butching it up, but by having to convince myself yet again that yes, I'm somewhat effeminate, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Lex
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Lex has had some amazing posts here, but this is definitely in his top 10%. excellent.

gsdx said:
Will you get off your high-assed horse and quit fuckin' pretending you're Dr. Phil!!!

You Don't Know EVERYTHING!!!

For fuck's sake, man! YOU ARE NOT GOD!!!
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why does it bother you so much?
 
I think we are our own greatest enemy. Gay guys seem to thrive on destroying each other. Nearly every gay man I know in the real world calls himself straight acting... Why? Why do you want to act like something you are not? Why does it matter to you to be masculine? Sadly, the majority of the men I know who consider themselves straight acting are to various degrees, rather fem.

Then, there are the gay dudes that don't date "fems". Way to oppress your fellow queers. My husband is very in touch with his softer side, and I can often be as well. We're proud of it. No need to 'act straight'.

Because of all this turmoil however, the masc v. fem conversation keeps coming back at us. It's on dating sites, gay forums, discussed in group settings. And most of the time it's gays who are in a tither about other gays being fem.
 
^ Of course you can ... squealing with delight is at its best when done by masculine guys. :gogirl:



... especially when accompanied by a girlish sassay of the hips and a toss of the hair ...although I admit that the last bit is somewhat difficult for the follically challenged man to pull off successfully. #-o
 
I have some effeminate things I do and Lex is right, it was always the first thing bullies made fun of.

It took awhile to get past those feeling and memories. But, now I could care less. I can't change those things and couldn't be straight acting if I tried. (which I don't, anymore)

I think we all accept things at our pace. It took a while, but I like me and no longer care about how gay my voice sounds.

I do hate those straight acting only personals. Most of those guys are queenier than I ever had time to even think about being.
 
>>>elvin1 is very fem in bed

Meaning what? That he rolls over and lets me climb aboard? Or that he says "Not tonight - and you KNOW why, Mister" and refuses to say anything more? Because I don't want to get the fantasy wrong.

Lex
 
>>>It's just a fantasy

Woah-oah-oah-oah.

>>>This means that you're a top then? lol

Versatile top. We'll see if you earn the right to flip me over. :)

Lex
 
>>>Please, I can make hookers pay me.

Yeah, so I heard. "I'll give you a hundred bucks to unclench. Please! IT'S ALL I HAVE!"

Lex
 
I think it's an extension of a culture-wide debate about the definition of masculinity. The whole "metrosexual" putdown, and the constant drumbeat of "who's tough," is the context here: it's not surprising that gay men are drawn into the debate.

For any of you who follow football, you tasted some of this stuff. Almost every game, the commentators spar over the new helmet to helmet contact rules. I've heard several times, "let football be football," or "let'em play."

It's apparent that these (I assume) straight guys have a great deal invested in football's "toughness." So is it surprising that gay men, who were raised in a society that worships this masculine ideal would have issues?

Even the straight guys don't think they're masculine enough.
 
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