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Why Is It So Hard For Me To Get A Boyfriend?

reiz_90

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it's been about a year and a half since i've had an actual relationship.

well. i had a brief relationship in april but that lasted for like 3 weeks so that doesn't really count. the boyfriend i had before that lasted for like 6 months.

anyway. it seems getting sex is easy. and for a while that's all i wanted. but lately, it's like i kinda want more. i want someone to cuddle with. but guys will fuck and then never talk to me again. so it's like wtf? we can't even be friends? like am i that horrible of a person that you can't even be friends with me? i don't get it. :confused: seriously. and don't judge me. but i've had sex with like 20 guys so far this year, you would think at least 5 were datable.

part of the problem is that i go for masculine guys only. and the masculine guys i encounter tend to be discreet or "dl" so that is part of the issue. i have this fantasy in my head that they would love me so much they would fuck everything society says and shout their love for me from the highest rooftop.

hasn't happened yet. :grrr:

anyway. i have about 7 guys that i'm talking to and getting to know at the moment. i haven't had sex with any of them just yet. what can i do to turn at least one into a relationship without seeming too desperate for one? because let's face it, i am desperate for a relationship...but they don't have to know that. :cool:

like this one guy i'm talking to on the phone now. like i really like him, but i can tell all he wants to do is fuck. i told him i was hungry and he says shit like "for this dick?" you know what i mean? *sigh*

any ideas, tips, concerns, judgments.....anything will be beneficial.
 
it's been about a year and a half since i've had an actual relationship.

well. i had a brief relationship in april but that lasted for like 3 weeks so that doesn't really count. the boyfriend i had before that lasted for like 6 months.

anyway. it seems getting sex is easy. and for a while that's all i wanted. but lately, it's like i kinda want more. i want someone to cuddle with. but guys will fuck and then never talk to me again. so it's like wtf? we can't even be friends? like am i that horrible of a person that you can't even be friends with me? i don't get it. :confused: seriously. and don't judge me. but i've had sex with like 20 guys so far this year, you would think at least 5 were datable.

part of the problem is that i go for masculine guys only. and the masculine guys i encounter tend to be discreet or "dl" so that is part of the issue. i have this fantasy in my head that they would love me so much they would fuck everything society says and shout their love for me from the highest rooftop.

hasn't happened yet. :grrr:

anyway. i have about 7 guys that i'm talking to and getting to know at the moment. i haven't had sex with any of them just yet. what can i do to turn at least one into a relationship without seeming too desperate for one? because let's face it, i am desperate for a relationship...but they don't have to know that. :cool:

like this one guy i'm talking to on the phone now. like i really like him, but i can tell all he wants to do is fuck. i told him i was hungry and he says shit like "for this dick?" you know what i mean? *sigh*

any ideas, tips, concerns, judgments.....anything will be beneficial.

stop thinkins

there go
 
They know that you are desperate. You probably reek of it.
Sorry for sounding so harsh.

Work on yourself, without someone else making it right for you.

like i'm trying to figure out how i would "reek" of it though. i really don't think that i do. i may be overly friendly though. that's a possibility, but i'm not like shoving the idea of a relationship in their face.

and i also feel like i am more mature and more intelligent than i have ever been. i'm far from perfect, but i'm not a horrible person.
 
a mix of the internet(facebook & twitter), clubs, parties....

Less internet, less bars. Take a community college class, get involved in a social group, get a hobby and then see if there is a GLBT affinity or hobby group in your chosen activity, join a team. Take beer and ordering sex like it is take-out out of the equation and you'll meet nice people. Community theater. Church. Swing dancing with your lady wingman. Something.

(Don't screw & ditch people in these activities, they are tight knit and you'll get a reputation as undateable.)
 
I doubt you "reek" of anything, unless you're too liberal with cologne, and I doubt these guys you meet can read your mind and just tell you want to be in a relationship. That may be a little part of the problem - they are simply not guys who are interested in relationships, so don't look out for opportunities to develop one. This is a blessing in disguise for you: Having the guy move on means you don't waste too much on a dirty little time taking, triple crossing double dater (Lennox). You need a man, not a little boy and you shouldn't underestimate the number of Peterpans passing themselves off as grown-ups.

The other thing not to underestimate is the role luck has to play. She plays a major role, and she will even try to take your leading two roles, if you let her get away with it. You have to watch that bitch. Frustrating as it may be, time is the other factor here, and when you're young, even more so than when you're mature, you can feel like you REALLY NEED TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP NOW, when what you need is what you have!

I certainly agree that college courses, hobbies in groups et cetera are a great idea, as well as patronising your local arts if you enjoy those industries. Be nice, grow, socialize with the best kinds of people, think before you speak and always be considerate. Don't sleep around too much, and certainly not with two men at the same time if you want to win hearts and minds. Good luck and (*8*)
 
Don't give it up so early, wait a while until you know the person is genuine
 
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