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) Dealing with the same myself, but try not to worry about it too much yet. You can either decide your life so far has been a waste and drown yourself in beer for the next decade until you get to be a complacent middle-ager, OR you can decide that while the past is the past, now is the present heading to the future (what we do now will eventually be the "past", so do it right now to make it a good one!) So yeah, no worries, just don't give up, kay? ^_^ Again, good luck.
I've seen some very bright 18 and 19 year olds on these boards. I have a lot of respect for them.
Yes it is. Until the day we die.
) and also, it helps knowing who I'm talking to. I mean, talking to someone who lived through the Civil Rights movement of the 60s/70s will have a different take on it than someone who was born (when I as) in the 80s. Likewise, someone who's about my age can better relate to a lot of things I'm going through better than someone much younger or older. While age brings experience, there are unique insights to be found from all age groups that aren't always kept with age (for instance, as they say, teens can talk to teens better about some things than an adult talking to them about the same thing, even using the same words.) Of course, this is also WHY you should listen to everyone regardless of age...
I've talked to people on message boards since I as 15 or 16, WELL before I even thought of "anything more" (and yes, I was both nieve and innocent...to a point, I still rather am...) In all honesty, it helps me relate to some people and it helps to know that a person who is my age is saying some things...after all, some advice you can only really get from certain people, believe it or not. I mean, sometimes I feel old. I know, at 24...and yeah, I know it's all relative. But if someone 50 tells me I'm not old, that's just kinda patronizing to me...and something in my mind tells me that, if I don't know otherwise, they're probably in their 40s. On the other hand, someone may say that I am old, but if they're 16 that's not THAT bad as it gives me a reference point. And if they're my age or slightly older, for some reason I can accept what they say a lot better as they're going through similar things to what I am.
As people get older, the gaps of peership change. For instnace, when you're a kid, your peers are really people your age, +/- 6 months. As a teenager, this extends; preteens get 11-13 (video games, sports, maybe learning about masturbation), then 13-17 are mostly in a group (sex, smoking, drinking, high school, physical/mental development...which continues for a bit). Then you're a young (but not yet legal) adult at 18-21 (college, alcohol, jobs, probably your first lasting relationships and deeper friendships than before), then you're a full out young adult, but still "college age" (21-25) (college, work, thinking about majors, careers, possibly starting to hook up and get married, the end of physical development [by here, you tend to be "stuck with what you got"]), then you're "in your prime", still young, but older than the stages before (25ish-32ish) (these mark the final stages of continued PHYSICAL mental development [physical components of the brain and increasing musculature towards maturity]), then the gaps get bigger. 30-45, maybe even to 50 can be largely grouped together and relate to each other (having families, kids, divorces, getting older, working on retirement, ect) Next is 45/50-retirement, which has a host of things going with it, not the least of which is trying to get your kids educated and out of the house so you can finally get your retirement ready...and of course, retirement, as well as, for most people, a decrease in health and such. Finally is from there to death where you live out your golden years, complete with all the worries therein.
While age doesn't really have to meen anything, it DOES exist, and these groups, while somewhat arbitrary, also exist. When I hear people speak, I listen to them (I'm one of those guys that listens INTENTLY to 5 year olds rambling about things that they may not get, but I do it because I know there are some 5 year olds that DO get stuff, and you never know when someone needs listening to.) Regardless of age, I listen to people. Knowing their age (or rather, rough age group) does help somewhat in seeing where they are coming from. It doesn't mean that they know anything more/less or should be reverared/ignored because of it. I've been all ages up to where I am now, and always have been pretty mentally mature (not physically or emotionally, mind, but mentally), so I know full well that younger folks have important stuff to say if you just stop and listen.
...and I also recognize that some older people (not all of them, mind you), have experience and wisdom that I don't, experience and wisdom that I can glean from if I listen carefully and look long enough at. Again, sometimes I don't end up agreeing with them, but at least I can kinda tell where they're coming from. But also, there are some things that I just gotta hear from people my own age sometimes, and it's just not the same coming from someone much older (or younger.) Doesn't mean I don't listen to them, just that it means something else. And while some people say that it's just my mind, rather than their age...and that IS true, it makes a difference. Sorta like some things you just have to hear from another guy, or from a girl, or from a parent. You CAN hear the exact same thing from someone else, but it just doesn't mean quite the same thing...ya know?
Okay, so maybe that didn't make much sense, but...
In any case, I don't discriminate AGAINST anyone based on age, I just can relate to some ages better (proscriminate?
I dunno, in all honesty, it doesn't matter, and yet at the same time, matters a great deal.
...but I'm sure I'm not making sense at this point. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree, eh? Because I see the logic in my position and you see the logic in yours, and while I have partial agreement with your view, I don't think I can agree 100%, so unless you can agree with me, I don't see us getting anywhere further with this one. ^_^; Oh well.
I dunno, it's just nice to know. To (mis)quote a movie, it's "...nothing...EVERYTHING." That's just the way it is. Age/mortality is a weird thing, something I haven't figured out yet. This is just a facet of that nature, I guess...
But yeah, I like knowing it. If nothing else, it simulates life somewhat, because usually I have a rough idea how old peole I talk to are. I try never to hold it against them but...well, here's one. People have been telling me for a few weeks that me graduating is a big deal, but I just haven't quite felt that way. I've been feeling a lot of OTHER things relating to it (not the least of which is how time is ever ticking onward...), and I kinda felt, "okay, maybe it's a big deal..." but with the "maybe" qualifier featuring prominently. It wasn't until a guy I know my age empressed upon me just how big of a deal he thought it was that I finally relented and decided that he/they are probably right. Hearing it from my parents/grandparents/teachers just didn't quite feel the same, but hearing it from a peer made it different.
I know it shouldn't have mattered who said it, but in an instant it went from being somewhat depressing to a feeling of acomplishment. Odd how that works, eh? Like I said, it's all about perspective and the unique insights (or my mind perceving an insight being present) that are inherent to people of various ages. Again, it's something that both doesn't make a difference and makes a big difference; something that in this "enlightened" age, we know we should look beyond...but either as individuals, societies, or race we just aren't mature enough to do yet, like how people notice race or gender, I guess. I'm not saying it's good, just it's something that our minds tend to do...being a 100% relativist (hehe, I wonder if that's a contradictory statement... ^_^) is almost impossible for anyone, very few Human minds are capable of truly letting go of everything and living in an eather with neither reference nor direction to use as an anchor...even relativity theory allows for reference frames to exist (just none absolute...), and people have trouble with just that. ^_^
What can I say? I guess I'm mentally immature and weak still...but that's semi-related to age too. I'm sure I'll get there...eventually... ^_^; No, actually, now that I think about it, I may never get there. ^_^ At least I don't notice skin color, one out of three can't be all bad. ^_^
As for the "fairness" thing...that's kind of a tongue in cheek remark. It's like if you put up a picture of yourself, it's NICE if the other person does the same (which is what I said about all this in my first post in this thread. ^_^) They don't HAVE to or anything, but it's nice. Same with age and stuff.
Oh, and for the person that asked about knowing orientation; it helps with some things knowing if the person identifies as straight/curious/bi/gay. For instance, if a guy who believes himself to be gay says that thinking about a vagina is gross, but a guy who is bi says that he's kinda neutral on it, you can kinda see how that works, so that if they are asking a question or for advice, it kinda helps in offering it if you have a "more complete" picture of the situation. Of course, just like the age thing, you COULD just ask, but it saves time if you know from the get-go. -shrug- As for gender...that should go without saying (it's kinda hard for a girl to comment about how a penis or balls "feel" if a guy is asking "Is _____ weird or normal?", for instence. ^_^)
Again, I'm probably just immature, but like I said, it's not a requirement, just it tends to be nice to know if it's there. That's all I'm saying. And as I said before, age DOES make a differece...it's just that it affects everyone differently, so you can only draw a very few general conclusions based on age, and most of those involve relating to certain issues in life and perspectives/views of those things. 90% of the time, it doesn't matter. 10% of the time, it does. -shrug-
(God that was a long post...bedtime... ^_^)
I'm 37 in chronological years and 22 in gay years!
Taking off your shoes?
I'm 37 in chronological years but I'm only 2 in "out" gay years. In fact, June will be 1 year since I came out to my folks.
](/images/smilies/bang.gif "Brick wall ](*,)")
I'm 37 in chronological years and 22 in gay years!
Almost ten years being out. Shit now I feel old.
