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Why isn't it working for me?

LatinCoffee

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Ok guys--I need your advice! Thanks in advance! Before anything--I'm not giving up hope or faith.

I have tried so long to find or date someone with values and morales. I have no problems meeting guys but it's just the 'quality' of guys that I meet. They either wanna date and just have sex, can't hold on a conversation or they are just plain losers {no job, no car, live with parents}. I have tried the "I wont be so picky' attitude but it hasn't worked.
In all honesty, the fact that I'm single has driven me to be insecure with my looks at times. Though, I'm not a bad looking guy...everytime I meet or see a guy--the thought of question {I wonder if he thinks Im sexy, cute, hott--whatever!} LOL!

What advice do u guys give me? What alternatives should I take?

Thanks again!
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You need to put yourself in a target rich environment. Join some groups for activities of interest to you. Depending on the size of cities you live in, there are probably gay groups for many of the activities you like. Join the groups primarily for the fun of getting together with guys who have interests similar to yours. Once you get to know people in the groups, they will find out you are single and you will probably meet some guys that would be a good match for you.
 
How are you defining values and morals?
 
Your situation is no different from many many other guys.

My advice to evaluate yourself first before you evaluate others.

Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of toads to find the prince.

But I guarantee many of the guys you meet that may initially brush off as slags or not up to your standards are actually quite the opposite. People have barriers, and you have to interact with them a couple times to break down those barriers.
 
I know how it feels to be single and sometimes insecure but backpacker's advice is really useful. Always smile and have self confidence. Just be more out going, talk and as backpacer said, get involved with groups with things in common and get to know gay or bi people cause gay people have gay friends and I'm sure many are interested in you, you are good looking.

I'll be 22 this November and I've neveeeerrrr been on a date and my friends call me ( the group's nun). I'm the only one who is single but I was told that I should be patient. Just have patience and believe in yourself. You will find Mr. perfect.
 
/\ I'm the same way. Never been on a date, never been kissed by anyone- and I'm 23 now. I don't want to out due Susan Boyle in that department. lol Most of that is due to being mostly closeted though.

As shown by the responses in this thread there are relationship minded guys out there, just don't give up you'll find them.

Another point to add is when going out look confident and approachable. I notice when I'm having a bad day and I'm grumpy this usually comes through in my posture, demeanor and general appearance. A lot of positive, mature, well adjusted single guys aren't attracted to that.

Though, when I'm in a good mood I do draw interest from guys who I think are "above" me. Work on the inside, you're a nice looking guy so you don't have to worry about your looks.

Don't worry you'll find him, probably more quickly by following backpackers advice.
 
To be honest, I'm just wondering where you live or how big the gay population is? It seems strange that any gay guys you meet would have "no job, no car, live with their parents" ... Maybe you need to move somewhere more metropolitan?
 
Hi LatinCoffee, I noticed you joined JUB this month (April) and I just wanted to welcome you, officially.

If Backpacker hadn't beaten me to it, I would essentially say what he and the others did: Find a rich environment of quality men, either through social groups or friends of friends, etc. That's one of the best ways to network and hopefully meet a quality person.

There are a lot of men out there looking for other quality men that share your values. There are also the ones who are looking for a quick fuck, or "just friends" or have more issues than Time Magazine.

If you're running across the latter group too much, then it's time to change your target and increase your chances of running into guys who are after what you're after and are after what you have to offer. Since people tend to be attracted to people like them, searching out guys who have the same interests as you (like, sports, art, music, leisure interests, etc.) will increase your chances of finding a quality guy.

Good luck--and welcome again! Keep in touch with us and let us know how the search is going.
 
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