Why Message??

[Jacinta]

Hey Guys,

I don’t post often but right now I am really confused, the story is my now ex-bf and I were dating for 6 months he dumped me last Saturday in a very public display. We were having a few problems before that due to his lack of keeping his bits out of other guys, I admit I was a bit to soft when it came to getting back together he promised me it was only something he did because he was that drunk and barely remembers it. Anyways the Sunday night he went out due to Monday being a public holiday, I think he made out with three quarters of the club and tried to pick up one of my friends, God even security told me they saw him making out with everyone in sight which I guess technically is fine because he dumped me the night before, the thing that gets me is the fact that all week he has been sending me messages like “Good morning sweetheart hope you have a good day I love you” and “ hey Hun You off for your run let me know when your home so I know your safe” “I miss you do you wanna come over and spend the night with me?” I just don’t understand why he keeps doing this, He tells me he isn’t ready for a relationship because he cant keep his hands to himself yet he wants all the perks of a relationship. At first I thought he wants to screw around before he settles down, but I really do give him a lot of sex whatever he wants I will do for him. He wants me to swallow when I blow him so I do knowing that once I do I have to get to the bathroom because I will vomit unless I am that drunk I don’t know what im doing. I really thought I was doing well with him I took him on dates I even bought him clothes to wear on them. Don’t get me wrong aside from the shit going on he is a great guy I love being around him he makes me smile without doing anything.

What did I do wrong with him? Why would he want to dump me, im attractive most people love me when they meet me I always make new friends I always have fun with whatever I do. (im not normally vein) I really put a lot of effort into making this relationship work. Why would he send me all them messages? Ok so he doesn’t want me but why send them?

Thanx in advance,

Jacinta

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>What did I do wrong with him?

As far as he's concerned, not a damn thing.

* You bend over backwards for him.
* You buy him clothes.
* The day after you break up with him, you'll go out clubbing with him.
* You're giving him all the perqs of a relationship without "tying him down".
* You're available for sex if he can't find anyone else.
* No matter what he does to you, you take him back.

Jesus, why wouldn't he keep you around?

He's told you his stipulations on the relationship. He'll give you some sex occasionally, and some loving text message when he feels like being "homey". Meanwhile, he's going to spread his attention (and sex) wherever he wants.

It's up to you whether you want to stay in this "relationship". But I'd like to think you could do better.

Lex

 

[gotdimples77]

Kick his annoying whiney slutty ass out of your life now! Fiind yourself a real man that doesnt need you to take care of him, buy him clothes and can handle a commitment. Stop wasting your time on your fantasy relationship with this stupid ass. (sorry if this sounds harsh...i had to give myself this pep-talk a few months ago...Its really easy to waste a whole lot of time and money on somebody who really isnt worth it...and oddly enough the ones who are...dont need it)

 

[KaraBulut]

What did I do wrong with him?

What you did wrong was be a doormat. You've allowed him to step all over you all of the time.

Kick his annoying whiney slutty ass out of your life now!

I couldn't have said it better!

[STRIKE]I'd like to think [/STRIKE] you could do better.

Let's take the uncertainty out of it. No question- you could ONLY do better.


Pick your self up. Dust off what remains of your self-respect. Get this sorry sack of shit ex-boyfriend out of your life. Delete him from your cellphone. Block his manipulative text messages. Change your phone number if that is what it takes. Forget his email address and phone number. Learn from this. Get yourself into therapy so that you don't repeat this mistake ever again.

And wake up every morning and tell yourself, "I deserve better".

 

[sKottyK]

run while you can! I was in a situation like that a few years ago.... except I let it go on for three years.

 

[EvilForce]

Human Doormat. Your's Free!

 

[Jacinta]

Ok, I know I have been too soft with him. He had me believing that he really did want to be with me and that everything was a drunken mistake. To clear things up Lex I haven’t seen him since the night we broke up security asked the bar staff is we had broken up because he saw him and the bar staff sent me a text telling me (The staff love me). Anyways it’s my best friends birthday tonight so he will be there… fun. My sister is going to make sure he doesn’t come near me. So heres hoping the night goes well.

Cheerio,

Jacinta

 

[G-Lexington]

Don't let him spoil your fun. Have a good time. Don't demean him or snub him or anything.

...oh, and change your "status".

Lex

 

[Jacinta]

Ok so im dressed and on my way to the city thank god for mobile internet. Anyways I just found out he slept around while we were together ans he screwed someone lastnight when I wouldn't go to his. Man feel like shit right now. But hey I look hott!

 

[Jacinta]

Ok dinner is over I have drunk 2 smirnoffs 3 champages and 2 taquilas I am hammered. Ok he has been a complete asshole ok so he plans to get with everyone tonight and sleep woith several people. So I am gonna drink more oh fuck he ois at the bar with me. Anyways I am over this he is an ass. Time ti get my sister to get me a drink/

 

[KaraBulut]

Anyways I just found out he slept around while we were together ans he screwed someone lastnight when I wouldn't go to his. Man feel like shit right now.

You're going to find out a lot more stuff. Now that you've broken up, people will be coming out of the woodwork telling all sorts of shit that was going on behind your back.

You need to let all of this negative stuff go. He's in your past now. It's time to move on.

 

[rareboy]

Oh God.

You're better than him.

He's a dime a dozen.

Just ignore him from hereon in.

 

[Jacinta]

Ok so its 1.15am I am at a pizza shop me and the ex are working together to save a frinds relationship. He has constantly said he loves me but I just don't care I want to listen to him I want to believe him but there is so much hurt. If he loved me he would move heaven and earth to make me happy well at least that's how I am. How could I be so blind. My friends tell me he loves me and he does all this because I have to realize that he thinks he isn't good enough for me. Its just fucked up. I apologize for the bad grammer and spelling I am trashed and yeah

 

[Jacinta]

Omg I so have a hicky on my neck and we made out in front of the ex and the ex punched him out. No idea what's going on with us

 

[G-Lexington]

Looks like you're smack in the middle of a soap opera. And, frankly, it doesn't look like you mind it too much. So enjoy the ride.

Lex

 

[Jacinta]

God he just went to hit me in a argument that we were having

 

[Jacinta]

How can I be blamed for the events of the night my argument was please have some water and we can get some food and now he is saying I don't care and I want him to hurt I haven't done anything im in fucking hysterics and I don't care. I care more for him than anything. And im not in a soap opera I kissed someone yeah I was out for that. I needed it and it happened.

 

[rareboy]

oh please............

You certainly sound as though you actually deerve one another.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>How can I be blamed for the events of the night my argument was please have some water and we can get some food and now he is saying I don't care and I want him to hurt I haven't done anything im in fucking hysterics and I don't care. I care more for him than anything. And im not in a soap opera I kissed someone yeah I was out for that. I needed it and it happened.

Are you serious?

You went out with your ex to talk about how to help your friend salvage HIS relationship.
At which point your friend said he liked you.
So you made out with him.
And your ex punched him out.
Which led you to not think "Jesus, this guy's nuts" but "maybe there's hope for us"
And now you're in hysterics, but you don't care.
But now you care for this guy more than anything.
Not so concerned about him slugging your friend.
The one you made out with.
Becuase you needed to.

This IS a soap opera.
Hell, you were even smart enough to save the big drama scene for Friday.

There's so much wrong with this situation, I can't even begin to list all the problems. But you also don't appear interested in extracting yourself from it. I no longer read this as "what should I do?" I read it as "OMG guess what happened last night". Fine. But I'm done giving advice here.

Lex

 

[KaraBulut]

Jacinta:

Go back to the top of this thread and reread it.

This isn't just about your dysfunctional boyfriend because you are as dysfunctional as he is.

There's no point in posting any more about this dramatic club culture story because you have yet to put into practice any advice you have been given thus far.