Why should my life be so comlicated?

[chace1617]

I always thought that i have the most complicated sex life in the world. I keep listening to my friends problems and what they are worried about is stupid things like why their boyfriend won't call them every 5 minutes or why didn't he notice they wear a different color lip gloss...
Comparing to their problems mine are huge! I never had a boyfriend and i don't want to but sometimes i'm jealous of the others who do have, i really want to feel that feeling of someone can't live without you etc. I fell in love two times in my life and both of them i got hurt cause the guys were str8. I keep liking guys like really liking them but i know i can't do anything with them cause i don't have a vagina! I am 20 and still a virgin and keep thinking what if i become 30 and virgin or 40 and virgin? I think i am never gonna find someone to share my life with and die alone. It's not nice living alone, and i know i have my family but one needs a partner to feel completed in his life. I think something is wrong with me cause i only like guys i can't have aka str8 boys or celebrities! My brain just works like that to make my heart get hurt...
I am really mad at some people who actually have a boyfriend and still are not happy with him cause he wants to watch football and won't go out or looked at a hot woman walking at the road! You should be happy for having someone with you woman!!! What if you were alone in your whole life!!!? if i had a boyfriend i am sure i would appreciate every moment and make him feel happy all the time and wouldn't find problems from nowhere to argue about...

except from that my life is fine now but no having a boyfriend is really sad for me and feel so miserable. especially when i like guys i can't have and watching my friends having someone and yet not being happy enough...

 

[trinket]

I am 20 and still a virgin and keep thinking what if i become 30 and virgin or 40 and virgin?

What is this, the plot to an "American Pie" type movie where fratboys' biggest mission is to lose virginity by the end of the summer/semester? Really, so what if you are at those ages? When it's ready to happen, it'll happen. No reason to be obsessed with losing it for the sake of it as an "accomplishment".

It's not nice living alone, and i know i have my family but one needs a partner to feel completed in his life.

That's debatable - I've seen friends' relationships where the individuals clung to each other just to "feel complete" and there's a lot of misery. Being in a relationship can augment your happiness with yourself and your own life, but you shouldn't rely on a partner to make you feel "complete" somehow - that's a recipe for trouble right there!

 

[soulseeker]

I know this is a cliche, but you have to learn to love yourself. I too have the same problem. I am making slow but painful process of trusting, forgiving, and ultimately loving myself.

 

[Daximus]

These kinds of threads make me so glad I'm 100% gay.

 

[Schizosan]

I know what you're going through, but I promise you its not the end of the world.

First, don't define yourself by not having a relationship or being a virgin. There is nothing wrong with waiting for the right person. You only get one first time, so make it special and all that jazz.

Two, stop doubting yourself. You can't expect to be loved if you're going to shower yourself with self-pity. Most people can feel in how you talk to them or carry yourself. It is a real turn off, so be positive about life and what it has offered and still can offer you.

Third, you're young like me. No closing up shop yet or making future predictions about being alone forever. You have your whole life to find yourself and that special someone.

Last, and this may seem a bit harsh, but suck it up. Life is a bitch, a real bitch. We live it, we learn from it, but it knows how to rear back that foot and kick us a jolt of reality in a minute. I mean this in the sincerest way.

Oh and tell your friends to suck it up as well. If they don't like their relationships, break up is what I always tell mine. If you can't work it out like adults and rather complain, break up.

 

[anchihiro]

Lipgloss?

Really?

I think as a friend to those girls its your duty to let them know guys don't give a crap about that stuff and never will and they should get over themselves.

Back to you; everybody is attracted to positive people, so be one. Even though i'm not recommending it to you, the easiest way for you to lose your virginity is through the internet. But ask yourself, because you never mentioned in your post; what have you actually done to get yourself a shag/boyfriend?
Be brave.

 

[Sigma-taylor-E]

These kinds of threads make me so glad I'm 100% gay.

why?..is that even necessary....sheshh

 

[FunFunk]

I always thought that i have the most complicated sex life in the world. I keep listening to my friends problems and what they are worried about is stupid things like why their boyfriend won't call them every 5 minutes or why didn't he notice they wear a different color lip gloss...
Comparing to their problems mine are huge! I never had a boyfriend and i don't want to but sometimes i'm jealous of the others who do have, i really want to feel that feeling of someone can't live without you etc. I fell in love two times in my life and both of them i got hurt cause the guys were str8. I keep liking guys like really liking them but i know i can't do anything with them cause i don't have a vagina! I am 20 and still a virgin and keep thinking what if i become 30 and virgin or 40 and virgin? I think i am never gonna find someone to share my life with and die alone. It's not nice living alone, and i know i have my family but one needs a partner to feel completed in his life. I think something is wrong with me cause i only like guys i can't have aka str8 boys or celebrities! My brain just works like that to make my heart get hurt...
I am really mad at some people who actually have a boyfriend and still are not happy with him cause he wants to watch football and won't go out or looked at a hot woman walking at the road! You should be happy for having someone with you woman!!! What if you were alone in your whole life!!!? if i had a boyfriend i am sure i would appreciate every moment and make him feel happy all the time and wouldn't find problems from nowhere to argue about...

except from that my life is fine now but no having a boyfriend is really sad for me and feel so miserable. especially when i like guys i can't have and watching my friends having someone and yet not being happy enough...

Never rely on anyone else to make yourself feel complete. That really isn't fair to either you or the other person and could actually cause problems in a relationship.

Don't worry about being a virgin at twenty. I myself only really had sex around the same age and never even fully declared to myself that I was gay until my early twenties.

I'm now in my 30s and am still single, never had a real life-long-style partner. Many people live their whole lives without finding a life partner but that doesn't mean that somehow their lives are less valuable than anyone else's.

I agree you should definitely try to keep your attitude positive and confident as often as possible. People like that in general, not just when it comes to finding that special someone. Stand up straight (I mean have good posture). Be assertive about what you want. Be direct. Be friendly and courteous. Smile a little. Try visiting new places. Try something different.

The thing is, when you finally meet someone, it will probably happen when you're not even trying and at the least expected place and time.

 

[chace1617]

thank you guys all of your replies are really encouraging....

 

[birddog7]

I always thought that i have the most complicated sex life in the world. I keep listening to my friends problems and what they are worried about is stupid things like why their boyfriend won't call them every 5 minutes or why didn't he notice they wear a different color lip gloss...
Comparing to their problems mine are huge! I never had a boyfriend and i don't want to but sometimes i'm jealous of the others who do have, i really want to feel that feeling of someone can't live without you etc. I fell in love two times in my life and both of them i got hurt cause the guys were str8. I keep liking guys like really liking them but i know i can't do anything with them cause i don't have a vagina! I am 20 and still a virgin and keep thinking what if i become 30 and virgin or 40 and virgin? I think i am never gonna find someone to share my life with and die alone. It's not nice living alone, and i know i have my family but one needs a partner to feel completed in his life. I think something is wrong with me cause i only like guys i can't have aka str8 boys or celebrities! My brain just works like that to make my heart get hurt...
I am really mad at some people who actually have a boyfriend and still are not happy with him cause he wants to watch football and won't go out or looked at a hot woman walking at the road! You should be happy for having someone with you woman!!! What if you were alone in your whole life!!!? if i had a boyfriend i am sure i would appreciate every moment and make him feel happy all the time and wouldn't find problems from nowhere to argue about...

except from that my life is fine now but no having a boyfriend is really sad for me and feel so miserable. especially when i like guys i can't have and watching my friends having someone and yet not being happy enough...

Oh man, do I know how you feel. I'm a virgin at 49, so don't feel bad about that, at your age. Many 20 somethings are virgins. I do hope you find what you are looking for in life, I really do. I don't want anyone to feel sad, and lonely like I do. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Good luck, and cheer up!

 

[hylas]

ok, lets take this seriously...

i really want to feel that feeling of someone can't live without you

... but one needs a partner to feel completed in his life.

this is not how healthy relationships work. work on yourself.
and speaking of...

I think something is wrong with me cause i only like guys i can't have aka str8 boys or celebrities! My brain just works like that to make my heart get hurt...

you might be on to something here. there probably is "something wrong" with you right now. everybody gets their hearts broken sometimes, but if you keep putting yourself in these situations again and again, then youve got some issues to work out.

oh, and celebrities? please.

You should be happy for having someone with you woman!!! What if you were alone in your whole life!!!? if i had a boyfriend i am sure i would appreciate every moment and make him feel happy all the time

just one more thing... youre giving off the stink of desperation. that will repell most people, and only attract those who want to take advantage of you. again, work on yourself, get whatever issues solved that are lurking in your closet, and the love-stuff will solve itself.

 

[bluedragon4]

If you were in your 40's I might be worried for you but you are 20. Unless you are a total freak it will happen. You have to surround yourself with available men that aren't straight. If you keep falling for straight men then of course you are gonna feel like a outsider. It's not healthy to hang with all girls either. I also had mostly girlfriend till I turned 19. I usually have one or two female friends to a ratio of 4 gay men. And the gay men are closer to me then the woman are. Find some guys to hang with who are gay/bi and I guaranty it won't be long b4 things change. And if you only like straight men and celebs then your fucked and get ready for a lifetime of hurt. You really want that?

 

[altlover85]

I always thought that i have the most complicated sex life in the world. I keep listening to my friends problems and what they are worried about is stupid things like why their boyfriend won't call them every 5 minutes or why didn't he notice they wear a different color lip gloss...
Comparing to their problems mine are huge!

if i had a boyfriend i am sure i would appreciate every moment and make him feel happy all the time and wouldn't find problems from nowhere to argue about...

This is going to be harsh. The reason why is because you have posted these types of threads before, but don't really listen to any of the advice anyone gives you.

The first part that I want to respond to is that your problems are of your own making by not coming out. If you don't come out things aren't going to change. I don't think your love life is all that complicated. It's just difficult because you aren't out.

The whole "if I had a boyfriend . . ." bit is basically untrue. When you have a boyfriend you will find out that you won't be happy every moment. You more than likely will find stupid things to have arguments about because sometimes we don't realize the triviality of the things that bother us.

When you are finally in a relationship, you will find out that the best thing you can do is to communicate your feelings. If you don't, you'll probably end up in stupid arguments and you may build resentment towards your boyfriend.

Work on coming out and the other things will get easier.