Why straight dudes have more appeal than a regular gay guy

[Dduder]

So. . .are you trying to say that "by being straight, I can attract hot young pubescent boys"?


Chris Hansen is going to ask you to have a seat over there in 3. . .2. . .

I was underage for most of my high school experience, but this seems to elude you.

And nice way to miscontrue everything I wrote. Good job.

 

[altlover85]

When I was in high school in the wrestling team, there was these two gay boys who were always staring at me with desire in their eyes.

I could have done anything I wanted because they were little gay boys and I was a full-grown man at age 18 with big muscles and I could grow a beard.

Can you understand how those two sentences read a little odd?

You were the one that brought being 18 into the whole equation.

 

[fetaby]

The old "the reason why you don't see many masculine gay men is because they are hiding." It's like when you ask UFO fanatics where the aliens are and why they don't show themselves and why there is no evidence that they exist undoubtedly, it's because the government is hiding them.

I have a simpler explanation: if we apply Occam Razor's, we come to the conclusion that the reason why we don't see many masculine gay men is because there aren't many. Pretty much all the guys who we suspect are straight turn out to be straight and pretty much all the gay guys we suspect are gay turn out to be gay. We don't see many guys who never gave signs of being gay coming out of the closet. In most cases, the guys who come out latter in life are the ones who everyone already suspected were gay. Riddle me that? Why is it that, in almost every case, guys who come out cause no surprise to the people around them?

Hiding in plain sight... How many of us here have been told that we can't be gay cause we don't act it? How many of us have surprised people with our coming out? Of course you'll just argue that those who were surprised are naive for not seeing what is painfully obvious, that all gay men glow neon pink under UV.

And I have an even simpler explanation, you choose to see what you want to see. You choose to believe stereotypes, and even go so far as to purport them as fact. When it is the case that they are opinions.

So again, do as I say,

call him a lying sissy for pretending to be a macho man.

 

[Adrock-JD]

From what I've gathered, Its because they are more masculine. Also, for some people it is the thrill of the chase.(for lack of better words) Basically they see it as something that is somewhat forbidden, or unattainable, so it makes it that much more interesting in a sense.

For me, it tends to be because they are more masculine. But for the most part, I don't pick out a guy who I KNOW is straight, and like him for that reason. I'm sure that many of the guys I think are hot are closet cases But in the world we live in, it is straight until proven gay....We can only assume and label.

For me too.

I'm attracted to the typical masculine traits, not just the physical traits but also the mental, the personality, basically the societal gender norms for defining male.

So much so that I've actually found myself attracted to very butch lesbians occasionally.
The way they dress, the way they look, their actions, it's all very stereotypically masculine.

I've been to sporting events that otherwise wouldn't interest me so much; just for the testosterone that fills the air. (Although I really do enjoy watching and playing tennis/baseball) Wrestling in high school was a major excuse for us closeted gay guys to roll all over each other.

Don't get me wrong, I like effeminte gay guys and/or transgenders and they can be a lot of fun but I will only get intimate, or consider it, with a moderately masculine to masculine type.

Very effeminate guys, gay or straight, turn me off in that regard.

Whatever floats your boat.

 

[figjam]

Ask your penis why?
Or maybe that's not a case for you but why majority gay guys fetishing straight guys and we even pay them to do gay sex act?

My banner said: College guys having sex and jerking off if only their girlfriends knew

It is simple - Why does most gay online ads say "no fems". Most (not all) gay men wants a man and not a fairy. We are attracted to the rugged and drama-less manliness of a guy. It is not a straight issue - it is a gay issue - gay men that are real men - not effeminate guys flapping around.

Sorry for the queens - not trying to insult, but lets face facts - the butch guys get most of the action. Truth...

 

[hothunk222]

The finest guys are neither gay nor straight... They're BI!

 

[yummylongsword]

Straight men have a more average masculinity. It seems that in gay porn and in conceptions, there are an overabundance of twinks and queens, opposite of quite a few fat old hairy "manly" bears. I prefer a nice, average-to-toned, early twenties man. Is that so much to ask?

Also, there's the whole "forbidden fruit" thing (what an ironic term ).

 

[Anders123]

When I came out, nobody had a clue that I was gay, they were all completely shocked. My mother thought I was going to tell her I was dying, my friends all thought I was joking.

Since then, I haven't changed a bit. Wait a minute...I'm gay though; I'm going to have to start my own handbag design company, start sporting a lisp and relax my wrists a little!

Just like my brother, who is straight and studying interior design, should quit his course, grow a moustache and become a police officer!

(This is my way of saying not all gay men are feminine, not all straight men are masculine, if you didn't get that).

I'd say a lot of the people who are obsessed with masculinity, and are 'disgusted' by femininity, are often trying to reaffirm the idea of their own masculinity because, as someone mentioned above, society has made the gay man the least desirable sexual being. Nobody wants to feel that they are undesirable, so they convince themselves that they are 'masculine', or 'straight acting', and want to surround themselves with 'masculine' people to 'confirm that'. They are attracted to masculine men because that's how they feel they should act, they're attracted to the characteristics they've been conditioned to believe they should possess. (Yes, this is very general, but I'm not saying everyone that's attracted to masculinity has an inferiority complex or other psychological issues)

Straight guys are pressured to act masculine too, you know. They're not all emotionally disconnected, rough, tough etc.
They just feel they have to act that way, because that's what men do. Catch a straight man alone with his wife / girlfriend and you'll see how emotional he is. Then all of the 'masc chasing' guys will be turned off because their unrealistic fantasy of what 'a man should be' is ruined.

People seem to have this obsession with masculinity because growing up, they've been conditioned by society to believe that it's the most desirable characteristic. Gay or feminine is inferior, straight or masculine is superior. It takes a long time, and a conscious effort to weed out conditioned thought patterns. And it really is sad to see gay people saying things like "as soon as I heard his fem voice, I was totally turned off", "he was totally hot but really feminine" etc.

 

[Rex]

Catch a straight man alone with his wife / girlfriend and you'll see how emotional he is. Then all of the 'masc chasing' guys will be turned off because their unrealistic fantasy of what 'a man should be' is ruined.

I don't really see it that way at all and I don't think most would be turned off. I never saw masculinity as being emotionless. It's just how one carries themself.

 

[Anders123]

I don't really see it that way at all and I don't think most would be turned off. I never saw masculinity as being emotionless. It's just how one carries themself.

Oh, of course not. I was using an extreme as my example, though my point remains the same.

 

[yummylongsword]

People seem to have this obsession with masculinity because growing up, they've been conditioned by society to believe that it's the most desirable characteristic. Gay or feminine is inferior, straight or masculine is superior. It takes a long time, and a conscious effort to weed out conditioned thought patterns. And it really is sad to see gay people saying things like "as soon as I heard his fem voice, I was totally turned off", "he was totally hot but really feminine" etc.

I really think you're going a bit overboard here. Women are ALSO attracted to masculine men... it's not just a male psychological thing, it's a "this is what the human species is evolved to be attracted to," thing. I don't see why being turned off by a feminine voice is any worse than being turned off by a nasal-y voice, or being turned off by someone who swears a lot, or someone who smokes; it's just a trait that you're either attracted to, or you aren't. There are plenty of "masculine" traits that turn me off, such as excessive musculature, too much body hair, too much swearing, even stupidity (which is somehow considered a masculine trait).

 

[alli-berri]

Sorry in advance, but I'm going to jump in without reading the above posts (it's late and I'been reading lots already).

I'm sure this is just a personal thing, but I do NOT find straight men more attractive because they're straight.

Been living with straight men for a loooong time, and frankly I find absurd the idea that I may be more attracted to them than gays. Just can't fathom it for myself. (Not that I expect anyone else to feel similarly, but it's always been shocking to me that so few do. Where my gay-loving homies at??)

On the contrary, I find gay men more attractive because they're gay. Maybe I just feel more comfortable being myself around gay men.

What's so fun about being attracted to a straight guy, anyway? It's just torture - they won't get down with you, and if they do so what? So the fuck what.

They're not that awesome - certainly no more or less so than "regular gays". I'm actually dying to get out of my straight-dominated living situation, and move in with people less... straight.

But again, that's probably just me. Y'all're weird

 

[Anders123]

Where my gay-loving homies at??

I holla

I really think you're going a bit overboard here. Women are ALSO attracted to masculine men... it's not just a male psychological thing, it's a "this is what the human species is evolved to be attracted to," thing. I don't see why being turned off by a feminine voice is any worse than being turned off by a nasal-y voice, or being turned off by someone who swears a lot, or someone who smokes; it's just a trait that you're either attracted to, or you aren't. There are plenty of "masculine" traits that turn me off, such as excessive musculature, too much body hair, too much swearing, even stupidity (which is somehow considered a masculine trait).

I don't think it's overboard. You're saying it's an evolutionary thing that people are attracted to masculinity; I'm saying it's a conditioned, situational thing that people are so turned off by femininity. I think both of these statements have degrees of validity, and to look at it from either perspective, each has exceptions and flaws.

My point is that, different traits are attractive to different cultures. What one culture idealises as the epitome of physical beauty, or as the most desirable character trait; another may find absolutely repugnant. That's where I think conditioning comes into it, and in this particular instance, it's in terms of finding femininity less desirable. How many gay people have had to hide their femininity whilst in the closet, and even whilst out, because they had been repeatedly led to believe that a boy should do this, a boy should do that, this is for girls? etc.

I'm a firm believer that what we are exposed to, and what affects us psychologically, especially at an early age, impacts the type of people we are attracted to (no, I'm not talking about homosexuality, but which type of men we are attracted to). And I think the fact that society is so against femininity in men, and that growing up, we are constantly exposed to this ideology, has resulted in a lot of gay men believing that it's a negative trait, and in it being a turn off.

 

[vulgar_newcomer]

So you need to be a rock to know geology? Or you need to be a planet to know astrophysics? Great logic there. There are 100% heterosexual sex researchers who know a lot more about homosexuality than you do. Do you think you know more about homosexuality than Kinsey?

You need to think like the lion to avoid being its prey. Being a avid book learned field biologist on large predatory cats will not be enough when in the cats own element 1--on-1
You need to respect the Ocean to avoid drowning. Being a skilled swimmer, a book read oceanographer will not be enough when you are alone in the high seas.

And the old read on Kinsey I believe will change to his findings will change and perhaps more than one here already knows more about Homosexuality then he did in his dated studies. I point to this article

KINSEY STUDY FINDS HOMOSEXUALS SHOW EARLY PREDISPOSITION



http://www.nytimes.com/1981/08/23/u...ls-show-early-predisposition.html?pagewanted=

 

[fetaby]

I know they're unpleasant but they are like an invisible elephant with big red button like you said. I address them because I feel hidden hierarchy made by the exclusive masculine gay guys vs. the feminines.

I didn't support them either, it's INJUSTICE situation but we just can't ignore it.

Why your claim can be seen as incredulous is that the "lesser" beings on your list are fucking and having relationships as well.

Sure, people can delude themselves as to what they want and what they find attractive. But at the end of the day and they are alone they begin to question what it is they will accept. Possibly even contemplate why it is they were attracted to what they can't have to begin with. Reality smacks them in the face on a daily basis.

Remember, where there is a will, there is a way.

 

[fetaby]

Yeah I end up this discussion with a reason, what I did was this

Whut?

What you did? Or what you wanted to see? Spill....

 

[alli-berri]

Cool links, joswanprince... But I still wonder why it prompted you to make this thread. To see if we would underplay how attracted we are to "fem" types? To possibly break your own "desirability bias"? I would say that on this forum, the "social" aspect is less intense, as we've got anonymity and stuff.

Honestly, the only reason I don't always tell people (non-gay) how attracted I am to "twinks" is because A) "Twink" isn't something I want to explain the meaning of to the ignorant (does that mean I have a desirability bias? maybe -- whateva), and B) I think calling men "fem" is ridiculous.

Why do I think it's ridiculous? Well, I don't think these guys are acting like women - they're acting like fucking people!! Some people are naturally inclined to act similarly to others. Duhhhhhh. And I say "naturally" meaning genetically and/or environmentally. Why do so many of y'all have such a hard time figuring that out?????????

Oh, and Anders123 - you are the shit. I think you totally get it. Thank you.

 

[Red Storm]

they don't have more appeal, some do, there are more of them, that's why it seems that way. i have seen plenty of handsome gay men in various cities.

 

[hummer7979]

My god, we're living in a world that's driven by porn and hook ups.

Haven't any of you gotten to know a person who might be outside of your normal porn-fantasy, fallen in love and subsequently become attracted to him?? Isn't that what we all ultimately want for ourselves? To be attractive as a whole person, not just to be used to satisfy someone's temporary lust??

We're all arguing over why straight men have such appeal. The very fact that we're fighting over archtypes proves that this has nothing to do with gay or straight, but just an ideal body, an ideal personality, an ideal social status, or ideal mannerisms.

Guess what??! Those things don't *FUCKING* matter in the end because everyone gets old and dies. Just be the best person you can be, make a point to get to know people as individuals, and build friendships and relationships. If you happen to find another person who genuinely wants to indefinitely spend as much time with you as you do with him, then consider yourself one of the few lucky people in the world.

Seriously, when a mental-masturbation session lasts this long and is this unsatisfying, it's time to just stop, jerk off if necessary, and move on.

 

[castoono]

They are not fake.