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Why would he do this?

M

Maestoso

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Recently I met this guy from grindr, he lived nearby so wanted to meet him in person for a chat. (ok more than a chat.) I have seen him in that app for months so decided to get to know him better. Turns out he was a good looker, gentle soft spoken guy who almost had similar personality traits to me, it only took an instant for both of us to warm up to each other. I felt a connection to him immediately. I was attracted to his smiles.

Then he dropped the bomb by saying that he frequent one of the infamous gay cruise clubs in my country . I asked him why. He said he like to have fun. Have you been in a relationship? Yes he replied but there was something in his eyes as he looked away. Pain or sadness?

I have never been to any cruise club, but this particular one is extremely popular for orgies, dark mazes and lots of unprotected sex. Why would an attractive young guy like him put himself in those situation? I agree that meeting guys on grindr for sex ain't any better but cruise clubs is taboo at least in my eyes. The chances of getting something dirty is way higher.

I am attracted to him but I have my suspicions and doubts. I would still like to meet him but there is a nagging feeling there that he is not what he seems. I messaged him to stop going to that club but he didnt reply. Should I give him up even as a friend due to this unhealthy habit or should I continue to get to know him better...?
 
Well, he seems to be ok with going to that place so despite the fact that you like him I don't think anything good can come out of this. Maybe he has been through a painful relationship. I wouldn't trust him or even be friend with him, first impressions can be deceitful.
 
Some guys get off on that. End of story.

If it's not for you. don't do it, and don't commit to a guy who likes that sort of thing.
 
I have no idea why that means he can't be a friend though...
 
The fact that he told me about it and even asked me to join him is a direct indication that he only wants fun... such a pity. I guess we can be friends but anything beyond would be a nono.
 
Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. You're you and he's him. It's really simple. Relationships are about the whole person. If you're compatible, fine, if not, move on. I think it's fun having an eclectic group of friends. You can learn a lot.
 
Seasoned said:
Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. You're you and he's him. It's really simple. Relationships are about the whole person. If you're compatible, fine, if not, move on. I think it's fun having an eclectic group of friends. You can learn a lot.
Click to expand...

On the bright side he chose to tell me about it rather than keep it a secret.
 
How do you know he go the cruise club for sex?
Some do some don't
 
If he doesn't care what happens to his own body, why would he ever care what happens to yours?
Move on to someone better suited to you.​
 
Maestoso, I think you are having trouble understanding the man from grindr because he is much more experienced than you are.

BTW. What cruise club are we talking about?
 
Maestoso said:
On the bright side he chose to tell me about it rather than keep it a secret.
Click to expand...
The underlying message is that he has a different set of values than you. That, in itself, is a fatal flaw for a relationship.
 
Its a gay club for having fun basically.

I doubt a relationship is possible he only wants fun.
 
Sounds like a typical club kid

tumblr_nh788vbe081tj201xo1_500.gif
 
Well your fist clue iss how you met. You had an 80/20 shot at best even fro the begnung.. MOVE ON!
 
He doesnt even bother to message me anymore so he was just the typical fuck and go grindr guy. Time to move on.
 
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