Will he grow out of being Bi?

[dancingboy2003]

I've just recently found out that my young cousin is bisexual - he's 16, going on 17. He hasn't had any male (or female) experience yet but he watches and gets off on all kinds of porn. His favourite is MMF bisexual stuff, particularly where the 2 guys do each other. He knows I'm Bi and this is how we have had such honest conversations about it. The thing is, he thinks it might be just something he's going through - even though he says he has been attracted to both for as long as he can remember. I didn't want to say to him that I didn't think that it would just go away - to my mind, you can't manipulate your own mind to stop it finding stuff works for you i.e even if I wanted to, I can't stop my dick getting hard when I watch two guys going at it.

I suppose my question is: at nearly 17, is his sexuality 'set'? or might he wake up one day and go 'oh, I don't find guys attractive any more'.

 

[scottyz]

I doubt it will go away. I'd agree with him in one area: the bisexual attraction stretches as far back as I can remember. I'll raise him in one area: the attraction between men and women has not been constant over the years. Sometimes more on one side than the other.

 

[defvideova]

I doubt it will go away. I'd agree with him in one area: the bisexual attraction stretches as far back as I can remember. I'll raise him in one area: the attraction between men and women has not been constant over the years. Sometimes more on one side than the other.

Agree with Scotty.. and his situation seems very close to mine. It's something I remember dealing with since early high school and has continued on and on and on. I love men and am totally comfortable with them, but a woman's body still gets the first look, haha.

If your cousin does test the waters and decides hanging out with guys is a good thing, more power to him. I just hope he can deal with the ramifications of it.. Which would be a whole 'nother thread

 

[dancingboy2003]

Thanks for those responses which I have to say are the same as i think myself. I tend to drift in and out of different phases of what I want to see or do - it'll be all Male + Male for a few weeks and then I'll try Tube8 for some good straight stuff and that'll become the thing for another few weeks and then it'll be MMF Bi stuff for a while. He seems the same in that sense. It'll be interesting to see how he develops - a lot will probably depend on what his first actual sexual experience with another person turns out to be and how that goes.

 

[itsmeagain]

His sexuality is set. Period. He may have a preference, but it is pretty much a done deal. IMHO.

 

[blackbeltninja]

I'm with the others - it's been a sexual attraction to both for as long as I can recall.

-d-

 

[Buddah420]

Personally I say he won't "grow out of it." I knew I liked boys since I was in the 6th grade (ever since I hit puberty) and I am of the belief that a person is born a with a certain sexuality. It is the way they grow up (conservative reserved family and community, or an open supportive and accepting one) and in the environment they live that either allows them to accept the way they are, or to deny a part of themselves that will alwasy be present. My guess is he will eventually end up declaring he is fully gay, as most young teenagers use the "bi" thing as an exuse so they feel more accepted by their friends and community around them. This is not to say that there aren't legitament bi-sexual men out there (like yourself), but it is usually easier to come out a bisexual first than take the full step to being completely gay. Only he can truly know what sex attracts him more and which one he can form a long lasting, and true bond of love with. Personally, I can get turned on by women and don't find any part of a human being disgusting, by my inner emotions and feelings of attraction and love migrate toward men. I don't feel as if I will ever truly be able to love a woman, so I know I am gay. Just be supportive toward your cousin whatever he decides, and enourage him to experiment to find out his true sexuality. Good luck!

 

[dancingboy2003]

Thank you for the replies. As I've said, I agree with you all - I think any kind of 'phase' would be over by now - particularly since the internet gives young guys the chance to watch hard core stuff now from whatever age they want to and whatever about having a passing curiousity, watching a MMF scene where the bit he chooses to wank to is when the 2 guys go at each other makes it fairly evident to me. Having said that I watch straight stuff sometimes and it works for me, as he says it also works for him. But I think of it like this - and apologies in advance for the crude expression: For a straight guy, watching porn is about watching a pussy getting fucked. For me the attraction of porn is watching a cock fuck something! I did say to my cousin that the best thing about good straight scenes if you are Bi is that 'they tick all the boxes' and he agreed. But he also said he thought there was a 50/50 chance that he would not always be 'as broadminded' (his phrase). I didin't want to make him feel uncomfortable so I didn't debate the point with him.

Maybe the fact that he's quite young he's not really ready to fully face up to his sexuality, whatever it may be. Just because we've moved on in lots of ways doesn't make it easier for a young guy to accept that he might be gay or Bi, especially in Ireland. I did ask him not to repress any part of his sexuality as it will only lead to pain later but I felt that line of talk was making him uncomfortable so I didn't take it further.

We're lucky in that we get on very well and have a good laugh with each other marking guys out of ten or calling them 'fours' i.e. 'He'd look good on all fours' so hopefully I'll be a healthy resource for him as he grows older.

 

[MisterMajestic]

He's 16 and his Dick would get HARD if he watched 2 trees Fucking...He's 16 and he's WATCHING Porn as often as he can...

Once he starts Fucking Pussy and enjoys it, that will probably be all he wants...


Everybody ain't Guy or Bi just because they're watching "Gang Bangs" or Bi-Vids...

He's 16...The chances of some young female hitting on him are HIGHER than another dude hitting on him...Once he starts Fucking Pussy being with another guy will either fade-away, remain a "fantasy" or he'll seek out a guy...

Come on Fellas we've seen this play out with ourselves and other Guys we know....Same old, same old...

 

[dancingboy2003]

"He's 16...The chances of some young female hitting on him are HIGHER than another dude hitting on him...Once he starts Fucking Pussy being with another guy will either fade-away, remain a "fantasy" or he'll seek out a guy..."

I think that' a fair point. The chances of his first real sexual experience being with a girl is MUCH higher that with a guy and that may well be a major 'marker' in his life. I have said this to him also and have told him that whatever way it plays out he won't have any questioning from me.

 

[snakkie]

For a straight guy, watching porn is about watching a pussy getting fucked. For me the attraction of porn is watching a cock fuck something!

i just don't agree with that, i think that also straight guys like to see the cock in the scene, i think it helps the sraight guy to "feel" whats happening (i hope you understand what i mean).

but yes, i also agree that gay\bi guys tend to look to the cock more than straight guys.

 

[Nomenclature]

I don't think it's fair to say what his sexual preference is until he becomes sexually active himself; He'll know what "feels right" to him.