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Will this feeling linger forever?

Grey_Sky

Grey_Sky

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I can finally say I got out of my first relationship where I was in love... truly. It hurted me a lot to see it end and I was very desperate for some time, but it is healing with time. Now that the heavy sorrow is gone I'm still kinda sad but also calm and have learned to accept it. Soon I believe I'll be just fine. *fingers crossed*

The thing is, I feel strange inside, like I'll never forget this guy, no matter how long has it been, and I'll compare every other guy I meet with him... and I don't want this to happend. I want to remember this experience, yes, but not carry it like a burden through my whole life...

I've talked with a few people about it and I've got mixed opinions about it. Some say the first love of your life is never forgotten completely. Others say once you find another love, this strange feeling goes away.

What do you guys think?
 
Well yea, you never really forget about these people. You get involved and invest a lot in the relationship for a reason. If they were anyone else, you wouldn't feel so awful after you split up.

Honestly, getting involved with someone else usually cuts the ties if time hasn't done the job already.
 
I have to agree. You never really forget but the feeling does lessen with time. If you find someone else someday then the feeling will fade as you continue your journey with your "new love".
 
what you're feeling is completely textbook. it hurts a lot, and it's definitely a good thing you're not going to forget them. whether it's for a long or short period of time, it's an important time regardless.
the funny thing is that despite how much it hurts now, and feels so permantely burnt into your heart, the scars begin to fade and you'll be ready to find someone just as special. thus is the bitter sweet journey of love.

until then, friends are such a good anti-depressant <3
 
Everyone has seemed to cover all the bases above. But I do give you strength and will, and you'll do great!
 
Thanks for the replies and support, guys! ..|

I've been recovering very well, but this weekend I've spent too much time around him (we are still friends) and this monday was his birthday, so I had a small fall back...

But I want to believe what the marjority of you said, that time takes care of everything, and once I find someone else, it will be ok, and I'll be able to move on!! :D
 
You'll never forget him, and I think you would never want to ever completely let him out of your mind. There has been way too much investment and involvement for you to let go of him completely but time will heal and change you as a person, and your feelings for him. I know how much it hurts and I can only imagine being in your shoes.

A piece of advice from a fellow JUBber to me when I was down and shitty - it's not us comparing every person we meet to our an ex of ours BUT it's because we have always a mold in mind and our ex fit into it and over time, we realize that there are others who fit into it as well. Over time, we will slowly and gradually accept another person into that mold of ours! :D
 
No feeling remains the same all through your life. Even if you fall in love with someone, and you remain together for decades, that feeling changes as time goes on. So no, you won't feel this way forever. Bad things happen to people, and this is one of them. Accept the bad feelings - you can't do much about them anyway - and just continue on with your life. You'll probably always look back wistfully on your time together, but it won't always be a painful or even sad memory.

I'm happy you two are still friends, and hopefully you can remain so.

Lex
 
This works just like any other grieving process. If we begin to forget we feel guilty because it seems to diminish and devalue what we honoured in the past. Actually the feelings and memories never go away, but we tend to encapsulate them rather in the way an oyster makes a pearl by by layering an irritating piece of grit with nacre.

Think of the past event like a glass bubble that floats along behind you; the memories and feelings are always there and can be revisited, but you don't need to live inside the bubble.
 
spreadeagle said:
This works just like any other grieving process. If we begin to forget we feel guilty because it seems to diminish and devalue what we honoured in the past. Actually the feelings and memories never go away, but we tend to encapsulate them rather in the way an oyster makes a pearl by by layering an irritating piece of grit with nacre.

Think of the past event like a glass bubble that floats along behind you; the memories and feelings are always there and can be revisited, but you don't need to live inside the bubble.
Click to expand...

Wow, this is beautiful! Thank you. Really, thank you!! :kiss:
 
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