Wings of A Butterfly
Chapter Two:
Social Experiments
I felt the vibrations of my phone beneath my pillow. It was just loud enough to wake me, but not enough to stir Lucas out of his sleep. I slowly and quietly changed clothes and left his room. The sun was barely coming up and all I could think of was how much I missed my mother. I clutched the locket that hid beneath my shirt as my breathing became heavy with grief.
I looked away from the sunrise and just walked around for a little while. I felt bad for leaving Lucas like that, but it was pointless for me to let myself get close to someone else. I listened to the voice in my head telling me that I had enough. Any more than what I already have would just make things harder. I would have just left it at that, but then I heard a voice I hadn’t heard in a long time.
But…what if we could be really great friends?
I almost didn’t recognize the voice of my other side. I had kept it quiet for so long; only listening to my more negative half.
Even if we could, having another person to maintain a friendship with would just make getting through school even harder than it already is.
Maybe not…Maybe he will help take the stress away. Jason used to do that for me before he moved.
Jason?
There was a name I hadn’t thought of in years. He was a lot like Lucas, or at least what I’ve witnessed from Lucas so far. We complemented each other like cheese and macaroni. Everyone thought we were twins because between the two of us, we knew everything. We were like two halves of an apple.
At least, until his dad’s company relocated his family to a small town three states away. That was about two years before I met Henry. If it weren’t for Carly I wouldn’t have even had Henry. But life has been hard enough since then, I don’t need someone else who I am certain will cause me pain one day.
The argument in my mind subsided as I once again listened to my negativity and decided that Lucas was too good for me to even try to be his friend. I passed through the doors of my dorm building and saw Henry laying on one of the couches in the lounge. He looked totally smashed from last night. I walked up to him and flicked his ear.
“AHHH!” he yelled.
“Dude, what the hell happened to you?” I asked.
“AARON! BRO!” he yelled as he sat up and hugged me.
“Are you stoned Henry?” I asked.
“No!” he said with a grin on his face.
I stared at him as he leaned in and put his mouth next to my ear.
“Ok,” he said in a whisper, “I’m a little trashed…but don’t tell anyone.”
“Oh my God Henry…what did you do last night?” I asked.
“Jonathan and I…w-we found these super hot chicks outside waiting to get in. And Aaron…let me tell you, they were…they were stacked up to heaven man,” he said.
“Oh God, your breath smells like scotch and the third floor bathroom,” I said cringing.
“Y-yeah…we had a lot to drink,” he said lying back down.
“Oh no you don’t,” I said grabbing his arm, “You’re going upstairs.”
I lifted him up to his feet and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
“Thanks Aar…you’re the best man,” he said.
No, you’re just the worst.
What the hell? Why did I just think that about my best friend?
When I got him up to his dorm room, I went back downstairs to mine to see if Jonathan was still there. I looked at my watch and it was now 7:30 a.m. I poked my head into the room and saw that no one was inside. It reeked of sex so I grabbed the air freshener and just blasted it around the room. I sat on my bed and dropped my head into my hands for a moment.
A moment turned into an hour and a half…
I woke to my phone buzzing in my pocket. I looked at my watch and saw 9:01.
Fuck…I’m late for breakfast…
I answered my phone to an angry Carly on the other end.
“Where the hell are you guys?” she yelled.
“Sorry, I’ll be there in a few minutes. Details later,” I said.
“Alright…you get off with a warning this time Aaron,” she said playfully.
“Thanks warden,” I said.
“How bad was it?” Carly asked when the waitress set her plate in front of her.
“He was totally doped up,” I said.
“And you think someone drugged him?” she asked.
“Of course…you know Henry, he wouldn’t do that on his own,” I said.
I actually didn’t know Henry as well as I thought. He could have done it himself, but I didn’t want to believe it. I especially didn’t want to because it was our usually breakfast day. It was the only morning the three of us had off at the same time, so we went to the local IHOP and caught up with the week’s events.
I shoved my sausages into my mouth and listened to Carly drone on about her and Mike. I honestly couldn’t care less, but as usual I feigned interest and kept any conflict to a minimum. At any second I expected my thoughts to drift away from Carly incessant yammering.
Shit…where’s my wallet??
And there it was. I forgot my wallet. I don’t even remember where I put it. I felt around all my pockets and nothing. Thankfully it was Carly’s day to pay so I didn’t have to worry as much.
When I got out to my car I searched everywhere around the driver’s seat but found nothing except a few old essays and my iPod to Radio transmitter.
Fuck…It fell out of my pocket in my room.
I turned on the car and noticed that I had 10 minutes till my Psych class so I stuck my missing wallet in the back of my mind and drove back to campus.
I sat down in my chair near the door and planted my face in my arms. I absolutely hated this class. Well, more the professor than the class. He and I were total opposites and we viewed the world completely differently. We constantly argued about the “meaning” of everything since I just believe that the world is in constant chaos and things just happen. We never agreed on anything and being the asshole I am, I always had to argue my point until both of us gave up, or he kicked me out of the class.
With my arms still around my face, I heard something fall on my desk. I looked up, prepared for a snap argument with Professor Robbins, but saw Lucas standing over me with a stern look on his face.
“Luke?” I asked, “What are you doing here?”
“I thought I knew you from somewhere,” he said.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“You left this on the floor when you snuck out this morning,” he said.
I looked down and saw my wallet sitting next to my arm.
“Oh…thanks,” I said.
He walked away towards the back of the room. I saw him sit down in the back row and felt a rush of guilt overwhelm me. I got up and went to sit next to him.
“Luke,” I said.
“Forget it Aaron,” he said, “If you didn’t want to be my friend you should have just said so.”
“Luke…that’s not it…” I said.
“Then what is it?” he asked.
“I…I had plans this morning and I didn’t want to wake you up,” I said.
“That’s bullshit Aaron,” he said.
“Yeah I know…” I said, “Look I’m sorry. I don’t know why I left but I’m sorry.”
“Just cut the crap, ok?” he said.
“Luke…I do want to be your friend,” I said.
“You two,” Robbins said from the front.
“Sir?” Luke asked.
“You’re partners,” he said.
“Sorry?” I asked.
“Have you been listening to me at all?” he asked.
“Sorry sir, we were discussing the relevance of psychology in real life examples,” I said.
“Watch it Saunders, you’ve been on thin ice for a while,” he said.
I’d like to see you do anything about it.
“I just assigned a report. You partner up with someone you don’t know or barely know and study them. Then you write a full report about why you think they are the way they are,” he said.
I looked at Lucas and he looked back at me. A smile began to penetrate the stern look on his face that he was holding for so long, but he quickly stopped it. I held up my hand to ask a question and Robbins took a deep breath.
“Yes Mr. Saunders?” he asked.
“When is it due?” I asked.
He paused. I looked at him to see him staring questioningly at me.
“You’re not gonna fight me on this one?” he asked.
“No,” I said, “It sounds like fun.”
“You’re serious?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said, “I think it’s a really good assignment.”
“Okay then…It’ll be due next Friday,” he said.
I smiled when he turned away. I don’t know what made me feel better, freaking out the entire class, or having an academic reason to be friends with Lucas. I turned to Lucas with the smile still on my face and saw the shock on his. He stared at me in disbelief as I chuckled at everyone’s confusion.
When class was dismissed, Lucas and I walked towards the parking lot together. There was silence between us that I wanted him to be the one to break. I wanted to think of something to say, but my mind was running on empty.
“So, what was that about?” he asked.
Thank God…
“What?” I asked.
“Come on Aaron, it’s not everyday someone drastically changes their opinion about something,” he said.
“You thought that was drastic?” I asked.
“You’ve been giving the guy hell for 2 months,” he said.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” I said with a laugh, “I guess I just decided I didn’t feel like fighting anymore.”
“Whatever you say,” he said, “Either way we’re stuck with each other for a week.”
Stuck?
“Guess so,” I said, “Lucas…Luke…I meant what I said. I really do want to be your friend.”
“If you say so, I’ll believe it,” he said, “So you wanna hang out tonight? Get a head start?”
“I…can’t tonight,” I said.
He sighed with exasperation.
“I’m sorry, I really can’t. I promised Carly I’d go see that counselor again. I have to go around 6:30.” I said.
“Ok,” he said. He sounded defeated.
“I have some time right now though,” I said, “Wanna grab some food?”
“Sure,” he said, “There’s this deli down the street that makes the best stuff.”
“Sounds good,” I said with a smile.
Am I genuinely smiling?
I was. The first genuine smile on my face in two years, and Lucas was causing it. I had no idea what that actually meant. I just knew that I wanted to be around Lucas as much as I possibly could.
We sat down at one of the tables outside. The light breeze swept through the little junction of stores. Lucas jumped face first into his sandwich while I slowly picked at my pasta.
“So,” he said, “I guess the best way for us to ‘get to know each other’ (he used his fingers for air quotes) is to tell each other something personal.”
“Ok, I can wrap my head around that,” I said.
“So you tell me one personal thing, and I’ll tell you one personal thing,” he said.
“Why do I have to go first?” I said glaring at him.
“Cause it was my idea and I need time to think of mine,” he said with a grin.
“You sly little bastard,” I said.
It wasn’t a hard thing to think about. I knew exactly what I wanted to tell him.
“Ok,” I said pulling the small locket out from under my shirt collar, “This locket belonged to my mother. She bought it one day when we went to Sea World. She always loved dolphins and when she saw this…she said it was the third time in her life that she was absolutely certain about something she wanted.”
I saw Lucas looking intensely at my eyes as I told him my story.
“I found it one day shortly before I left for school, and I put a picture of her in it. I wear it everyday to remind myself that what I’m doing is important for me. No matter how far away I am, when I’m wearing this locket I feel like I’m right where I belong.”
I took the locket off and showed it to him. He grazed his finger over the engraving on the back that said
“Your heart will light the path to happiness.”
“Wow Aaron,” he said, “Your mom must be very proud of you.”
I looked at him blankly and said, “She died two years ago.”
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I didn’t-“
“It’s fine Luke…you didn’t know. It’s not your fault,” I said.
“I’m really sorry,” he said.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Well, wherever she is now, I’m sure she is very proud of you,” he said.
“Thank you Luke,” I said.
“So, what happened?” he asked.
“Well if I told you, that would be two things…and we only agreed on one,” I said with a grin.
“Damn…you’re right,” he said. A smile crept across his face.
“Ok, now it’s your turn,” I said.
“Alright well, when I was a kid I always wanted to have a dog. My neighbor had a Doberman puppy and I was absolutely in love with it. But my dad was crazy allergic to dog hair, so we couldn’t have one,” he said.
“That sucks man,” I said.
“Yeah…so anyway, when I was like 8 or 9, my dad had a business trip up in Lake Tahoe, so my parents decided to just make it into a family vacation since it was during the summer. My mom and I were walking down a little junction of stores and I walked by this toy store. I looked in the window and saw this little Doberman Beanie Baby,” he said.
I let out a little chuckle and he grinned at me.
“I know, I know, guys and Beanie Babies just don’t really mix, but I was just a kid. I begged my mom for like 20 minutes to buy it for me until she was finally convinced that it would keep me from begging for a real dog. As soon as I got it in my arms, I was never apart from it. I loved that dog so much,” he said.
“What happened to it?” I asked.
“Well, my dad got a new job and we had to move. I put him down for like, 1 second when I was packing a box…” he trailed off.
“Luke?” I asked.
He looked really sad all of a sudden, as if someone just told him his grandmother died or something. I put my hand on his shoulder and craned my neck to look in his downcast eyes.
“I left him at the old house,” he said, “And when I finally realized that I didn’t have him…it was too late to go back.”
“Luke…I’m really sorry man,” I said.
“Don’t worry about it. I know it’s silly but, that was really the closest thing to a best friend I had for most of my childhood because we moved around so much,” he said.
I looked at Lucas completely differently. The compassion and kindness that he had wasn’t something he did voluntarily. From his story, I could tell that it was just natural for him.
And to think, I almost didn’t want to be his friend.
“It’s not silly at all Lucas,” I said, “I would feel the same way if I lost this locket.”
“Thank you,” he said with a smile.
I smiled back at him and nodded. At that moment, it was like everything slowed down. I looked into his bright hazel eyes and saw the vulnerability. I wasn’t looking at his vulnerability, but I could see myself in the reflection of his eyes. I was looking at mine. I had never told anyone about the locket I held with me everyday. I never reached that level of connection with anyone. And yet, here I sat with a near stranger, and I just spilled information about one of my greatest possessions without much provocation from him.
It was like that deal between us established a trust that would take most people years to build. We instantly had a “You give, I give” connection. It felt amazing not only to trust someone so easily, but also to be trusted by that person with the same level of ease. I felt different, almost refreshed. I could feel the changes happening inside me. The warmth I locked away so many years ago was bubbling to the surface and pushing out the cold, logical, and emotionless version of me.
What the hell was I so afraid of?
I love the way you let us in to AAron's inner voices ... and I could feel the connection happening - blossoming! 
