Wings of A Butterfly

[inthecloset]

Hey guys, first of all I'm really glad you guys are liking this story so much
Second, I've decided to split this next chapter into two parts because of how long it got. I cut it off at the best part I could.
And finally, I should have the second part up in about two or three days. And don't worry, the chapter you are all waiting for is getting very close.

Much love,
- ITC

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Wings of A Butterfly

Chapter Six:
The Butterfly Effect (Part 1)

Jonathan didn’t come back that entire night. I woke up around 9:30 and his bed was completely made up. Any other day, I might have cared about it. I might have even been worried on a better day. The point of the matter is that I didn’t care one bit. The only thing I cared about that morning was the pain in my knuckles and wrist from slamming it against the wall last night.

I got out of bed and wiped the sleep out of my eyes as the sunlight filled my vision. I realized I was late for breakfast with Henry, so I grabbed some clothes and threw them on quickly. I was barely out the door when my phone started buzzing in my pants.

“You’re late.”
“I know Henry, I’m leaving now,” I said.
“Well hurry up man I’m starving,” he said.
“I’m goin, get off my back!”

I dashed out of the building and walked quickly over to the dining hall where I could easily see Henry standing by the main entrance. His blonde tips from his black spiky hair made him stand out like a Jewish man at a Nazi convention.

After we got our food, we sat down at a table outside and Henry immediately busted out his Chemistry books. I picked at my bacon and eggs while watching him sketch a model of a hydrogen molecule in the process of combining with an oxygen molecule. He looked up at me and smiled. His smile made me feel guilty.

At this point, I still hadn’t told him what Jonathan did to him, and I didn’t plan on telling him. He seemed to be doing so well lately with school and work that I didn’t want something like that to screw him up completely. It took me a few minutes to realize that I was staring at him and that he noticed me staring at him. I looked away quickly and awkwardly but felt his eyes still on me.

“Something wrong bro?” he asked.
“No,” I said, “Sorry, I was just staring off into space again.”
He chuckled at me and said, “Well nice to see some things never change.”

I smiled at him and checked my phone. 10:23. I was about to say something when Henry stood up.

“I’m gonna get another water bottle,” he said, “Want one?”
“Nah, I’m good,” I said.

He walked around the table and walked towards the vending machine next to the entrance of the dining hall.

“Aaron,” he called, “I forgot my wallet, can you grab it from my bag for me?”
“Yeah sure,” I said.

I leaned forward and dug through his bag to find his wallet. I found it sitting next to a bottle of pills in one of his pockets. I pulled the bottle out and looked it over. The word “vial” would probably describe it better. Henry grabbed the wallet out of my left hand, but froze when he saw what was in my right hand.

“Henry, what is this?” I asked.
“It’s nothing Aaron,” he said trying to grab it from me.
“It sure looks like something,” I said glaring into his eyes.
“It’s just a stress reliever,” he said, “It’s a prescription.”
“Since when to prescriptions come in drug vials?” I yelled.
“Aaron, calm down man,” he said, “It’s not a big deal.”
“It is SO a big deal Henry!” I yelled, “Do you have any idea what would happen to you if you were caught with this?”
“Caught with what?! I told you it’s a prescription!” he yelled.
“I don’t believe that shit for a second,” I said.
“Whatever man,” he said, “It’s not even any of your business. I’ve been under a lot of stress lately, and that stuff mellows me out.”

The speech was the same no matter who it came from. The “I’m not an addict” speech made my insides turn every time I heard it from someone on T.V. and I thanked God that I didn’t know anyone that stupid in my life.

Henry just stared at me, holding the vial up between my index finger and thumb. I couldn’t believe that this was happening. Someone as smart and successful as Henry getting caught up in drugs…it baffled me. I looked into his eyes, and noticed a slight change. Whoever this was standing in front of me, it was not my Henry. Not even a convincing double. It was someone completely different.

His eyes were focusing on that vial. I could see the desperation in them, trying valiantly not to reveal itself to me. I could see his lips twitching, as if wanting to say something he would regret. I could see him shifting from the Henry Farmer that I knew and cared for, to some stranger who only had one care in the world.

I could feel the intensity from his staring on my skin. My fingers were almost burning from the amount of concentration he was putting on my hand. At this moment, I knew the change was complete, and that this was not going to end well. I maintained my composure and bit down on my bottom lip, hoping that this wouldn’t explode and that I wouldn’t lose Henry forever.

“Henry,” I said, “You have to-“
“What? Get some help? Talk to someone? What Aaron? WHAT?” he yelled.
“Henry please,” I said, “I don’t want to see anything bad happen to you because of this.”
“I’m a grown man Aaron I can take care of myself,” he said, “I’m not an addict, I can stop whenever I feel like it.”
“Oh really?” I said, “Then prove it. Stop now while you still can.”
“Shut up Aaron. Who the fuck are you to talk?” he said.
“Henry…”
“No Aaron, just shut up and give me the damn vial.”
“You want the vial?” I asked, holding it out to him, “Take it.”

He snatched it from my hand and stuffed it in his pocket. He didn’t even notice that I had emptied it into the palm of my hand and let the pills drop into my bag. He grabbed his bag and his books and walked away from me. I called out to him, but he yelled, “Piss off! I don’t fucking need you!” and flipped his middle finger at me.

And I watched him walk away.

***​

​

“You’re sure it was drugs?” Carly asked.
“I held the vial in my hand Carly, it definitely was not prescription,” I said.
“I can’t believe it…”
“I know,” I said.
“No I seriously can’t believe it.”
“You want to see the pills yourself?” I asked.
“You have them?” she asked.
“I dumped them in my bag, I was on my way to throw them away,” I said.
“Wow,” she said, “I’d hate to have you as my father.”
“Thanks, love you too,” I said sarcastically.
“No I’m serious, you’d be a real hardass,” she said.

I took a deep breath as I walked slowly beside Carly. The pills in the pocket of my bag seemed to make it heavier. Not in weight, but symbolically it felt like something big, something that would change a person’s life in a matter of seconds. It was as if I was carrying around more than just a little extra baggage.

We walked past the garden outside the Business building, and I saw a bunch of butterflies bobbing around the wildflowers growing in the soil. It was an unusual sight since we were right in the middle of the campus. A butterfly could hardly make it all the way in to find these flowers, let alone a whole dozen of them.

I felt Carly’s hand on my shoulder and realized I was drifting off into my own little world again. As I snapped back to reality, I noticed the extremely worried look on her face. The only time I saw that look was when she and Mike were fighting, or when something really big were about to go down.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“This doesn’t really seem to be fazing you as much as it should,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“Aaron, your best friend is doing drugs!” she said, “How do you not know what I mean?”
“Well, it’s really hard to explain, but when we were fighting about it, I noticed a change in him,” I said.
“And?”
“And he’s not my best friend anymore,” I said, “He’s someone completely different now.”

She sighed harshly and I looked away from her again. This time, I left my mind blank. I didn’t let myself think about anything. Unfortunately, the stress was still there. My mind couldn’t be controlled for very long and the stress seeped in and made me think of so many things; Henry, Jonathan, Lucas, Veronica (the counselor), and last but not least my Psych report that was due in 3 days.

“I need to go walk alone for a bit Car,” I said.
“Okay,” she said, “Call me later Aaron.” I heard the desperation and the pleading in her voice and decided that I would have to call her.
“Oh shit,” I said, suddenly realizing the time, “I have Psych in 10 minutes.”
“Why does that matter?” she asked, “You hate that class.”
Oh shit…
“Yeah well, we’ve got this report due on Friday so I gotta go,” I said.
“Aaron, you’re a bad liar,” she said.
“It’s true!”
“Yeah, but that’s not the reason you’re going.”
Fuck me…
“Spill,” she said.
“Ok well,” I said, “You remember Jonathan’s friend that was with us at the bar that night?”
“Yeah,” she said.
“Well he and I have become really good friends over the past week, and he’s in that class so…” I said.
“Oh my God you like him!” she beamed.
“What?”
“Aaron, please,” she said, “I’ve read all the signs.”
“I assure you, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You’re not the kind of person who just ‘makes friends’ with random people in a week. You’re not the kind of person who will go to a class he hates just to see a new friend. You like him,” she said confidently.
“Oh, we’re on that again,” I said realizing what she meant.
“Come on Aaron,” she said, “Just admit it. If not to me, then to yourself.”
“Car, I would really appreciate it if you stopped making that assumption about me.”
“Ok, then answer this,” she said as she stopped walking, “Have you ever once been physically attracted to me?”
“What? No, you’re like my sister,” I said.
“Yeah but there was a point when you didn’t see me like that,” she said.
“Yeah, we were like 11. I was still referring to my penis as a fire hose at that point.”
“Even still, you never thought I was attractive,” she said.
“No, not once.”
“Then that’s all the evidence I need.”
“You’re completely insane,” I said.

I broke off from our path and started walking towards the Psych building. I heard her yell something after me, but I was “too far away” to hear it. Each step towards the science building was a step away from my friendship with that insane social butterfly for a while. I couldn’t take another one of her accusations, let alone another one of her investigations about why I am the way that I am.
​

 

[Bodhi1]

Woah!!! Drama ... I hate drugs with a passion ... I have seen what they do to really nice folks, so I hope ....

 

[Craiger]

Great chapter, ITC. However, it seems Aaron may have to apologize to Jonathan. What happened that night may not have been all his doing. Also, I hope Henry reflects a little deeper to realize Aaron's concern for him. Looking forward to the next segment of the story.

Craiger

 

[Endlessnight500]

Its always sad when you see someone fall into a drug addiction. He is right about one thing tho, his friend isnt the same person anymore. Im looking forward to how phyc class goes tho. I also cant wait untill Aaron confronts his sexuality.

 

[bynm27]

great chapter. keep 'em coming.

 

[irishinvader]

next part now?

 

[upyrkilt469]

You've done it again ITC, that was a fantastic chapter for a great story. Keep them coming. H&K
Vic

 

[inthecloset]

next part now?

I could ask you the same question

 

[DonQuixote]

IntheCloset,
A great chapter, but a terrible tragedy.

How will this develop from here?
You are crafting a very intriguing tale for us all.

Thanks for your efforts.

 

[littletosay]

Good twist with the drugs. Another great update. Thanks, ITC.

 

[user951753]

great job ITC, I can't wait to read the next chapter and see how the story unfolds...

keep writing!!

 

[inthecloset]

Hey everyone, thank you for waiting so patiently. As I promised, here is part two of chapter six. I almost had to split it into three because this second part got out of hand a bit >.<

Anyway, enjoy my friends!

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​

Wings of A Butterfly

Chapter Six:
The Butterfly Effect (Part 2)

“Human beings like to believe in chance. We may make a game out of probability, we may take a leap of faith, or we may simply roll a die while playing a board game. Each involves taking a chance or a risk. But people don’t think about cause and effect as much as they think about chance.”

I tried my very hardest to keep my focus on the lecture. Lucas seemed mesmerized by Robbins’ lectures, so I wanted to see what the fuss was about. If only the day I chose to pay attention weren’t all about fate and destiny, I might have had an easier time accepting his point of view. Unfortunately, this guy seems to be able to pick my brain and know exactly how to irk me.

“You all know the popular ‘Butterfly Effect’ right?” he asked.
“You mean that movie about the dude who kills his girlfriend?” some random moron said from the back.
“No, I mean the theory that movie was based off of,” he said.

The awkward silence after a question is asked that many people think they know the answer to, but are too afraid to respond always made me laugh on the inside. I’d be willing to bet that every single person in this room has answered a question wrong.

“Anyone?” he asked.
“Newton’s law of motion, every action has a reaction, every force has an equal and opposite force, every choice has a consequence,” I said in a very mundane tone.
“Correct Bright eyes,” he said.

I smiled sarcastically at him. Lucas punched my shoulder and chuckled at me. The smile at Lucas was genuine.

“Like Sunshine here said, every action has a reaction. Therefore, we can assume that everything we do, every motion we make, every path we take, has an effect on the unfolding future around us. The smallest event, like a butterfly flapping its wings, can set off a chain of events, each one being caused by the previous one. “
“How is this related to Psychology?” I whispered to Lucas.
“Because people look for the deeper meaning in certain events to try and explain why something happened. It’s a coping mechanism,” he said.
“Ha, do you do it?” I asked.
“Sometimes…” he said.

He shyly looked away from me for a second with a grin on his face. I could see something bubbling beneath the surface that he was dying to let out. I laughed and poked him in the side to get him to look at me. When he turned his head and looked into my eyes I smiled at him.

“You look like you got something to say,” I said.
“Maybe I do,” he said with a grin.
“Well then you should say it or I might lose interest and just wander off somewhere,” I said.
“Ok, well you know that girl Rachel?” he asked
“Yes for the millionth time…everyone knows ‘that girl Rachel.’ Anyone who doesn’t is a mole person,” I said.

Professor Robbins dismissed the class and Lucas and I got up and started walking outside. The air was cooling off outside as the fall season approached. I looked off into the setting sun as Lucas continued.

“Right,” he said with a chuckle, “Well you know if it weren’t for her, we never would have met.”
“Eh?”
“That day, when I bumped into you…I was turning in Jonathan’s fees for him since he was running late,” he said, “And Jonathan was late because he was moving in, which he was only doing because his mom heard about Rachel and the shooting.”

I froze. I didn’t know what to say; he was completely right. If it hadn’t been for that one event, that event I thought was meaningless and had nothing to do with me; I never would have met Lucas. I wouldn’t be standing here right now talking to him and realizing how lucky I was.

“I would have stayed in my spot in the back of class, and you wouldn’t have ever looked back at me,” he said.
“I can’t believe it…you’re absolutely right Lucas,” I said.
“Aaron…please, just call me Luke,” he said with a grin.
“Sorry,” I said grinning back.

We were standing outside my dorm building now, just taking in the relaxing setting. Not the area around us, but the comfort we had developed with each other. It was as if nothing that happened today even mattered when I was around him. All my issues and stress melted away when I was talking to him.

We stood there for a moment, gazing at the horizon. I was more invested in it than he was. My mother always told me that the sunset was one of the most beautiful natural things we got to see every day. One time, I swear I saw her crying while watching a sunset. I never really knew why she loved them so much, but I just assumed that since it was important to her, it should be important to me as well.

I looked back to Lucas and looked at my watch. Before I could catch the time, my phone started buzzing in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked to see who it was calling and saw the name “Henry” displayed on my screen. I silenced it and put it back in my pocket and looked back up to Lucas.

“Who was that?” he asked.
“Henry,” I said.
“Why didn’t you answer?”
“Uhm, he and I are kinda going through a rough patch right now,” I said.
“Oh,” he said, “Well I don’t mean to pry but, it seems to me if he’s calling you then he wants to apologize or something.”
“Oh trust me this is something that will take more than a little apology.”

My phone started buzzing again. This time it was alerting me of a new voicemail. I rolled my eyes and stuffed my phone back in my pocket, ignoring what was most likely a last ditch effort to keep me from reporting his stupid ass. Lucas looked at me with concern and it ripped a hole in my heart to see him like that.

“Why don’t you at least see what he has to say?” he asked.
“Oh fine,” I said pulling my phone out of my pocket, “ [FONT=&quot]You know, you shouldn’t be such a good guy…you make me look bad all the time.”[/FONT]

He laughed at me and punched my shoulder as I typed in my password to my voicemail account. I waited for the recording to finish and the message to play while Lucas tried to get within earshot of the speaker. When the message started playing, I heard Henry with wild desperation in his voice. His words were broken apart by sharp breaths and sobs.

“Aaron… I… Please… Help me…”

The fear in his voice stood out the most. I felt a chill go down my spine when I heard the agony he was in, and instantly froze.

“I’m…behind the…old furniture store…”

He screamed in pain after that part and I heard some glass breaking. The scream stopped my breathing and almost made me lose my balance.

“Please come…It’s really bad…I need you…”

***​

​

“Hey, any change?” Lucas said as he walked into Henry’s room.
“No, not yet,” I said, “He was beat up pretty bad.”
“Yeah it looks like it,” he said, “Is he gonna be ok?”
“The doctor said that he’ll be on crutches for a while, and his arm got pretty messed up from him trying to pull the glass out of it. But he should be fine in a couple months,” I said.
“Do they know what happened yet?” he asked.
“No, he hasn’t been awake long enough to tell anyone,” I said

I looked away from Lucas in an attempt to hide myself again. This was the one side I was afraid to show. My vulnerable anxiety always caused me to over-worry about things, and I had gotten pretty good at hiding it in the past. I walked out of the room and into the hall. As I left, Henry’s doctor went into the room and Lucas followed me out.

“Hey,” he said.

He placed both hands on my shoulders and forced me to look at him. The hazel in his eyes was almost comforting as I felt mine swell with tears. I took in a sharp breath and struggled to maintain my composure, my wall. I could tell I wasn’t fooling Lucas though because his eyes were just as strong and reassuring as ever.

“Sorry,” I said.
“Don’t be sorry,” he said, “Just don’t hide from me.”
“Right,” I said, “I won’t, I promise.”
“Aaron,” he said.
“I promise,” I said.

The doctor came out of the room and looked at both of us.

“Henry’s awake,” he said.
“Thank God,” I said.

I tried to go back into the room but the doctor (and Lucas) stopped me. He had a very firm look on his face and didn’t look like he was about to let me see Henry any time soon.

“He told me what happened to him, and I need to talk to you for a moment Mr. Saunders,” he said.
“Ok,” I said, “Luke, could you go get us a couple sodas?”
“Sure,” Lucas said, in an almost nervous tone. I knew he didn’t want to leave, but I just froze him out until he walked away.
“What happened?” I asked.
“Well first, I need to know if you knew what drugs your friend was taking,” he said.
“I don’t know. I threw them out already,” I said, “What happened?”
“If you could find a sample somewhere, it would really help us in figuring out how big of an addiction we’re helping him fight,” he said.
“I’ll try to find some,” I said, “Now tell me what happened.”
“We really need a sample, otherwise we have no idea how Henry will respond-“
“Would you just freakin tell me what the hell happened to my friend?!” I yelled.

The doctor looked stunned, and took a half step backwards. I could feel the intensity from the eyes of the nurses down the hall at their station burning my skin, but I didn’t care. I stared with a furious scowl on my face, waiting for my answer. Once he regained his stance and shook off my snap, he looked at me with his serious doctor face again.

“He only said that he tried to get some more drugs from a dealer that met him in the abandoned furniture store. He didn’t have enough money and was beaten with a pipe and thrown out of the first story window.”
“He's gonna be okay though, right?” I asked.
“Yes, but…”
“But what?”
“The hospital has a policy about patients with a drug dependency,” he said.
“What’s the policy?”
“He has to spend some time in rehab or we can’t discharge him.”
“Okay, well I’ll talk to him,” I said.
“Thank you Mr. Saunders,” he said.

He walked away from me with Henry’s chart under his arm and stopped at the Nurse’s station at the end of the hall. I turned and looked at Henry. He smiled weakly at me and tried to signal me to come in. Forcing my steps, I walked into the room and sat down in the chair next to his bed. I took in a deep breath and then looked at his face.

It was badly bruised, and his left eye was swollen shut. He had bandages around his neck and up the right side of his face. There were tiny marks all over from where the glass cut his face. But despite all of this, he had a smile on his face. It was slight, but it was still a smile and it made me feel better about being there.

“Henry…” I started.
“I know,” he said, “Rehab.”
“Yeah…”
“Aaron, I’m really sorry about what I said.”
“Don’t be Henry. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Yes it was,” he said, “Because part of me meant it, and I’m sorry.”
“I’m just glad you’re ok,” I said.
“Do you think they can send me somewhere near home?” he asked.
“I’ll ask…why?”
“I wanna see my family…”
“Ok Henry,” I said, “I’ll go ask.”

I stood up and gave him a clap on the shoulder. When I turned towards the door I saw Lucas standing there watching us with a soda bottle in his hand. He smiled at me when I saw him and held the bottle out to me. I smiled back as I approached him.

“Everything ok?” he asked.

I looked back at Henry and took a sigh of relief.

‘Yeah,” I said, “I hope so.”
“You need anything?” he asked.
“Nah, I’m alright,” I said.
“Actually you’re not,” he said.
I shot him a confused look and said, “Why not?”
“Cause you’ve been awake for almost 24 hours Aaron. You need to go home and get some sleep,” he said.
“I know,” I said.
“Want me to take you home?” he asked.
“Yeah…just give me two minutes,” I said.

He half smiled and walked over to the elevator. I turned around and went to find Dr. Haas who was still at the nurse’s station. When I got there, he was clearly flirting with the hot nurse wearing a nameplate that said “Debbie” over her obviously fake left tit. I cleared my throat to get their attention.

“Aaron,” he said.
“Hi, Dr. Haas, I was wondering…Henry was wondering if you would be able to-“
“Aaron I cannot in good conscious or hospital policy release him unless he goes into rehab,” he said.
“No, that’s not what I meant,” I said.
“Oh?”
“He wanted to know if it was possible to be sent to a facility in Gilroy,” I said.
“Yeah, I think there’s a facility up there,” he said, “Any particular reason?”
“That’s where his family is,” I said.
“Oh, yeah sure. I’ll do everything I can Aaron,” he said.
“Thank you.”
“Aaron,” he said, “I can tell how much you care about Henry. I just want you to know that since he is in a very early stage of addiction, it’s going to be easier for him to break it. He won’t be gone for long.”
“Thank you,” I said, “That’s really good to hear,” I said.
“Don’t thank me,” he said, “You’re the one who saved him. If it weren’t for you, he wouldn’t have made it here in time.”

As I walked away, I realized that Dr. Haas was right and wrong at the same time. He was right that I saved Henry’s life and got him here in time. But I wasn’t responsible for him being saved. That responsibility rested on the shoulders of someone else. That someone deserved the thanks, not me. And that someone was sitting in the car outside waiting for me to come out there.

***​

​

As I walked inside, I took my jacket off and kicked my sneakers across the room. Lucas sat down on my bed and kicked his shoes off. I stared at him with a grin on my face as he leaned back into my pillows and pretended to fall asleep.

“Get up,” I said.
“Can’t hear you…sleeping,” he said.

I lunged forward and grabbed his arms to pull him off my bed. He wrapped his legs around my left arm and pulled out of my grip and grabbed onto the headboard as I pulled at his feet with no success. I let go of him and sighed harshly and he laughed at me with pride as he made himself comfortable.

“Ass,” I said.
“Douche,” he said.

I walked over to the closet and started changing into some gym shorts and a tank top. When I turned around Lucas was standing by the door. He looked tired and I guessed he was about to leave.

“You goin?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he said, “You need to get some sleep.”
“So do you,” I said.
“Yeah well, I gotta cram for a test tomorrow anyway,” he said.
“Lucas,” I said.

He looked up at me and I fidgeted in the place I was standing.

“I just wanted to say thank you,” I said.
“No problem Aaron,” he said, “It’s what friends are for.”
“No, I mean,” I said, “For saving Henry’s life.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“If you didn’t make me check my voicemail, I wouldn’t have gotten to him in time,” I said.
“Aaron…”
“No,” I said, “Thank you Lucas. I owe you so much.”

I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He lifted his arms and hugged me back. We stood there for a moment, as I felt Lucas pull me completely out of the figurative water I was drowning in. We were on dry land together and he held me to keep me from falling back in again.

I pulled away from him after a moment and wiped the tears away from my eyes. I looked at his shirt and saw some wet spots where my face was planted and chuckled at myself for being such a baby.

“Sorry,” I said pointing at his shirt.
“Hey, don’t ever be sorry for letting your guard down,” he said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Don’t take this the wrong way Aaron,” he said, “But there are a lot of people that think you’re unpleasant.”
“Thanks?” I said with a confused look.
“No, I mean,” he said, “If you would let your guard down more often, then those people would be able to see what an amazing person you are.”

I looked away from him and tried to zone out. I didn’t want to hear this speech again; I’ve heard it so many times from Carly. He placed his thumb and forefinger on my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. His eyes were the most revealing part of him and every time I looked into them, I could almost hear his angst screaming at me to let go and stop harboring my true self from him.

“Aaron, you’re such an amazing guy. It would be incredibly selfish of you to keep the world from noticing you,” he said.
“Lucas,” I said.

He dropped his hand from my face. He gave me a little half smile and turned towards the door. I grabbed his arm and turned him back to face me. I looked firmly into his eyes and saw myself reflected in them. No words were said between us, I don’t think any needed to be said anyway. I let go of his arm and he walked out the door.

I felt like a little piece of me had gone out with him. Like part of my soul had been torn off and all that was left was a bleeding wound where it was torn from. I took a deep breath to try and exhale the sting that Lucas left me with. It wasn’t caused by him, but by what I was doing to him. It made me sick to be such a boomerang, letting him in, blocking him out, and letting him in again.

I had to get my mind off of Lucas, so I paced around my room for a moment. Then I remembered that I had a paper due in two days. I sat at my computer and realized that the paper I was writing was about Lucas. I stood back up and looked around the room for a moment. I noticed Jonathan’s bag next to his bed and wondered where he was staying. That is…until I noticed something sticking out of his bag.

I leaned down to pick it up and recognized it right away. It was a vial identical to the one I found in Henry’s bag, with pills just like the ones I emptied out of the vial. I looked in disgust as I realized who the first person was that Henry got his drugs from. I had suspected it, but I never had any reason to believe it…until now.

Just then, the door opened and Jonathan walked into the room. He froze in the doorway and stared at me. He didn’t even notice what was in my hand. I stared him down until I could see beads of sweat dripping from his forehead. I could only imagine what my look of death actually looked like. Carly always said it would make a small child cry and wet his pants.

“What the hell are you doing here Jonathan,” I snarled.
“I…thought you’d be asleep,” he said.
“Yeah well that makes two of us,” I said.

He slowly took a step forward, but then retracted it as I felt my face contort in anger. I could smell the fear coming from him.

“Look, I heard about Henry,” he said, “And a part of me was hoping you’d be awake so I could tell you how sorry I am.”
“Sorry?” I yelled, “You better be fucking sorry asshole.”

I threw the vial at his feet and he flinched back into the now closed door.

“It’s your fucking fault he’s in there!” I yelled, “If it weren’t for you, he wouldn’t have been put in this situation!”
“Aaron,” he said.
“He has to go to rehab because of this!” I yelled, “Do you have any idea how much that’s going to screw up his life?!”
“I’m sorry!” he yelled.
“Yeah, that’s right. You ARE sorry. You are the sorriest piece of shit I’ve ever met, so why don’t you go crawl into some dark little hole and die there before I get the chance to strangle you myself!”
“Aaron, if you just give me a chance to explain!”
“The only thing I’m giving you is a 10 second head start,” I said.

He hesitated for a moment. I held up my hands and started counting down with them. When I got close to 5, I took a step forward. He flinched and threw the door open and ran out with tears in his eyes. I flopped down on my bed and massaged my temples after the door slammed shut.

Worthless sack of crap.
​

 

[bynm27]

wowzers!!!! so much drama in one chapter. good job, dude.

 

[Lefty]

well, you might be in the closet but your story telling and narrative abilities are right there out on the table for all to feast on.

i hate these stories 'cause you have to go on and on waiting for chapters to be written and usually i lose interest early on. you sir have forced me to reevaluate and make an exception...damn it, i guess i'm just as big a glutton as the rest of your entourage.

great work, now hurry up and get back to it.

 

[upyrkilt469]

I agree with Lefty, that was one powerful chapter. Don't keep us waiting too long for the next segment. H&K
Vic

 

[DonQuixote]

Dear IntheCloset,
Another gut wrenching, rock 'em, sock 'em chapter.
Your literary style is very good.
You keep us hyperventilating, wondering what's going to happen, next.

I wonder, if things are quite as they just appeared, though. Something seemed just enough off that, just maybe, we're not understanding.

IS this a cliffhanger more than we think?
Am I all wet?
I guess we'll find out soon enough.

Thanks for all of your hard work in bringing this great narrative to JUB to share with us.

 

[irishinvader]

loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee <3

p.s. i actually am not a fan of eggs

 

[Craiger]

Brilliant chapter, ITC. There are so many little ends to tie up in this story and you are doing it with such excellence. It almost drains me emotionally as I read this. I truly look forward to the next chapter.

Craiger

 

[Bodhi1]

What a powerful chapter! Your characters are full of life - mostly good, some bad ... and all so real ...

I am waiting anxiously for the next chapter ...

 

[inthecloset]

Wings of A Butterfly

Chapter Seven:
Apologies And Bitch Nurses
​

The repetitive knocking on my door jerked me out of my sleep. I felt around in the darkness for my lamp switch and flipped it on. I looked around the room for a moment as my eyes adjusted to the light coming from the lamp. The clock showed 3:13 a.m. and it had been a whole 25 hours since I threatened Jonathan.

I sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. Whoever had the balls to wake me up in the middle of the night clearly didn’t know me, so I decided it wasn’t worth rushing to the door. I slowly got out of bed and walked across the room to the door. With my hand on the knob, I shouted to the other side of the door.

“Someone better be dead!”
“Aaron…it’s Luke,” he said, “Please open the door.”
Oh shit.

I threw the door open and saw Luke on the other side. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. He was holding a piece of paper in his hand, and his eyes were bloodshot. He had a flashlight hanging out of his jacket pocket.

“Luke, I’m sorry man,” I said.
“Is Jonathan here?” he asked.
“No, I haven’t seen him all day,” I said.

He looked crushed when I said that. He seemed as if I was his last hope for something and I just let him down. I stood out of the way and let him inside. He walked over to my bed and sat down on the edge with the paper in his hands.

“Luke, what’s wrong?” I asked.
“Jonathan left this underneath my door last night,” he said.

I took the note out of his hands and read it. My eyes widened as I read what might have been the last words for Jonathan to think:

Lucas,

I am truly sorry for everything I’ve done, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my time and I’ve hurt a lot of people. But worst of all, I’ve hurt you more than once and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Tell Henry how sorry I am, and tell Aaron I wish there were some way for me to make up for it. There is no way for me to make up for the mistakes I’ve made, and there is no excuse for what I’ve done.

I’m sorry.

I looked it over three times to make sure I read it right. I stared at it with my mouth wide open and my breath caught in my throat. I looked at Lucas and realized what was wrong with him. He had been crying…probably for hours.

“Is this…”
“I think so,” he said.
“Come on,” I said grabbing his arm, “We’re gonna go find him.”
“Aaron, I’ve already gone looking for him,” he said, “I’ve looked everywhere he might go and everywhere he would never go…”

He sat back down and started crying. I sat down beside him and put my arm around his shoulder. Immediately, he leaned into me and cried on my shoulder. After a few minutes his crying turned to silent sobbing. The tears eventually stopped and he just sat there as I held him close to me.

After what seemed like forever, he pulled away from me and stared at the ground. My arm was still around his shoulder, but he didn’t seem to notice it at all. I could see his eyes glaze over as he drifted off into his thoughts.

“Lucas?”
“What?” he asked. His eyes didn’t move.
“We can’t just sit here,” I said.
“Aaron, I don’t know where else I can look,” he said.

His phone started buzzing in his pocket. He nearly ripped his jacket pulling it out. As soon as the phone was open, he was off the bed and standing by the door, listening intently to the other end of the line. I decided to change my clothes in case I was able to convince him to go looking for Jonathan.

I threw on a pair of gym pants and my favorite sweatshirt, hoping that maybe it had some good luck stored up since I last wore it. I turned around to see Lucas staring at me. He wasn’t actually staring at me, but through me. I could tell whatever was just told to him on the phone was not good news. I walked over to him and snapped my fingers in front of his eyes to get his attention.

“Who was that Luke?” I asked.
“It was the hospital,” he said, “They found Jonathan.”

***​

As soon as we were out of the car, Lucas was dashing through the parking lot and into the hospital. I was no more than 3 steps behind him as I chased after him. We ran all the way through the hospital to the Nurse’s station in the ER. Lucas nearly toppled over an old man in a wheelchair as he was running.

He stopped running when he got to the counter that circled around the middle of the room. The nurse at the station was talking on the phone and typing something on her computer. I looked at Lucas and the look on his face shattered my heart. He looked absolutely destroyed by fear. I could tell he was getting impatient, and was about to try and get the nurse’s attention when Lucas slammed his left hand, palm down, on the counter.

“Can I help you sir?” the nurse said in an annoyed tone.
“Yes, I’m looking for Jonathan Meyers, I got a call about 10 minutes-“
“He’s in room 215. Go up the stairs and turn left,” she said with the same tone.
“Thank you,” he said.

The woman returned to her call after rudely dismissing Lucas. I was infuriated about the way she just treated him. I could see her silently mocking him with her eyes. It was the same look I got every time I said something sarcastic in my head. For the first time in God knows how long, I let my heart take control of my actions and I decided to use my mind to teach this bitch a lesson.

“Excuse me,” I said while knocking on the counter top.
“Yes?” she said with her annoyed tone.
“Is there something specific my friend did, or are you just a raging bitch all the time?” I asked.
“Excuse me?” she asked.
“I wish I could lady. You’re a fucking nurse; you’re supposed to care about people. But from what I’ve seen, you’re too much of a cold bitch to realize that my friend here is neck deep in panic and what he deserves from you is a little kindness and warmth. So the next time you decide someone here is annoying you, and silently mock them in your head, put yourself in their shoes and realize that what they need is a little compassion to calm them down.”

She stared at me, clearly stunned. I felt about a thousand pounds lift off my shoulders at that moment. I guess I was yelling at myself more than I was yelling at her. At that moment, I felt all the hate and loathing leave me. I felt nothing but the pain that was coming from Lucas as he pulled on my arm.

It wasn’t a pain in my arm; it was his pain being transferred into me through his touch. I ripped my glare away from the nurse and followed Lucas up the stairs. When we got to room 215, Lucas took on look and stopped dead in his tracks. I looked in to see what he saw, and felt a cold shiver run down my spine.

Jonathan was laying on the bed with a bunch of tubes and wires connected to him. His face was almost as white as paper, and he looked like he was in a pretty bad accident. There were cuts and scrapes all over his face and arms. A doctor came up to us as we stood in the doorway looking in and tapped me on the shoulder.

“Are you Lucas Harper?” he asked.
“No, I am,” Lucas said, “What happened to him?”
“He was found in the wreckage of a pretty bad collision on the highway. His blood tested positive for high concentrations of Ketamine. From speculation, we assume he overdosed at the wheel and lost control of the vehicle,” he said.
“Well what do you think happened?” I asked.
“Sorry?” the doctor said.
“Well you said, ‘We can assume,’ which means you don’t really think that’s what happened,” I said, “So what do you think happened?”
“Son, I don’t have an opinion one way or the other. I go off of facts, and we simply do not have enough facts to know exactly what happened,” he said, “Only speculation.”
“So what’s wrong with him now?” Lucas asked.
“Well, the accident caused one of his lungs to collapse. We were able to repair it, but he’s been having some trouble breathing. The drug overdose has caused his lungs to fill with fluid and mucus. Essentially, he’s drowning,” he said.
“So how do we…how do you fix this?” Lucas asked.
“Well, until we flush the drug out of his system, there’s not much we can do. Eventually he’s going to need to be hooked up to a machine to pump air through his lungs,” he said, “Until then, we can only hope that nothing major happens to him.”
“Major, like what?” I asked.
“Like him having a seizure because of his body going through withdrawals from the drug,” he said, “I’m sorry, but I don’t expect him to survive the night.”
“What?” Lucas yelled.
“I’ll send for his family shortly,” the doctor said.
“No you’re not doing anything except getting your ass in there and saving my best friend, do you understand me?” Lucas yelled.
“Mr. Harper, I’ve already told you. We have done everything we can for now,” he said.

Lucas just stood there with his eyes fixated on the doctor. The doctor looked at me and I gave him a nod that told him it was safe to walk way. He left me and Lucas standing in the doorway together. I pulled on Lucas’ arm and forced him to go into the room. Gently, I pushed him in front of me and he slowly approached Jonathan’s unconscious body. I saw what looked like a tear fall between his legs when he stopped moving.

I stayed close to the doorway as Lucas sat down in the chair next to the bed. Jonathan stirred and opened his eyes. From where I was standing, I could see regret, pain, and sadness in his eyes all at once. I felt a twinge in my chest when I saw how much Lucas could care for something no matter how much pain it caused him.

“You’re awake,” Lucas said.
“What happened?” Jonathan gasped, “Why can’t I breathe?”
“There’s,” Lucas said. He took in a deep breath before continuing, “a lot of fluid in your lungs.”
“Crap,” he wheezed.
“I’m sorry Jon,” Lucas said.
“It’s not your fault Luke,” he said gasping for air, “It’s mine.”
“Either way,” Lucas said, “You’ve gotta rest.”
“Why?” he asked, “it’s not like the odds of survival are in my favor.”
“Don’t talk like that,” Lucas said, “You’re gonna be fine.”
“Liar,” he coughed.
“They’re calling your family right now,” Lucas said.
“Fuck,” he said, “And I thought dying was my biggest problem.”

Lucas cracked a smile at Jonathan’s comment.

“Ha,” he said with a cough, “You smiled. I win.”
“Yeah, you win,” Lucas said, “I’m gonna go home and get some sleep man. You need to rest now, but I’ll be here first thing in the morning.”
“Thanks Luke,” he said.

Lucas stood up and wiped the strands of hair out of Jonathan’s face. He turned to face me and took a step forward, but stopped and turned back to Jonathan.

“I didn’t mean what I said Jon,” he said.
“I know Luke, it’s ok,” Jonathan said.

Lucas turned back towards me and slowly walked towards me. He almost walked past me but stopped right next to me. He looked at me with several different emotions in his eyes. Anger, sadness, hatred, fear; all were very loudly screaming in his hazel eyes that didn’t seem so hazel anymore.

“Luke,” I said, “I’m really sorry.”
“You shouldn’t be apologizing to me,” he said.

He was right. I looked away from him and towards Jonathan. I may not like the guy, but if what I said caused this and hurt Lucas this much, then I owed him a major apology. Not for him, but for Lucas.

I walked slowly to the chair Lucas was sitting in and gently sat down beside Jonathan. He looked at me with a blank stare. I really didn’t know what to say to him, but I had to say something. His dark brown eyes focused on me as I gathered the words in my head. For the first time in years I was actually speechless.

“Jon,” I said, “I’m sorry for what I said to you.”
“No you aren’t,” he said.
“Yes, I am,” I said.

He looked at me with confusion on his face and suspicion in his eyes. I sat uncomfortably in the chair with the smell of the hospital wrapping me in a cocoon of discomfort and agony. My mind suddenly found words and I spat them out as my mind conjured them in a string of regret.

“I’m sorry that what I said brought you here, and that as a result of what I said, Lucas is in pain,” I said.
“So you’re sorry for Lucas, but not for me.”
“Of course I’m sorry for you,” I said, “I’m sorry that you felt you had to do this. I’m sorry that, while it may not be the cause, what I said was part of what made you do this.”
“Please, you don’t even like me,” he said.
“That’s true,” I said, “But I would never wish death on anyone.”
“You said…”
“I know what I said, but I’m all talk. I never would have actually followed through if you called my bluff,” I said.
“I really am sorry…” he wheezed, “About Henry.”
“Listen to me Jonathan,” I said, “When you get out of here, you’re going to make up for what you’ve done. You’ll kick your habits and be a better person after.”
“I doubt it,” he said.
“Well then if you won’t do it for yourself, then would you at least do it for Lucas,” I said.
“What…”
“He’s been out there trying to find you since he found your note,” I said, “He still cares about you despite all you’ve done. Don’t you think you owe him some of that back?”
“Aaron…if you actually think…I’m going to survive…”
“Stop it,” I said, “You’re going to fight as hard as you can because you owe that to Lucas.”

He looked down at his hands. I saw tears building up in his eyes and for the first time in years I felt guilty about something I said. I leaned forward and grabbed his left hand with both of mine. He looked back at me and a couple tears fell out and rolled down his cheeks.

“Get some rest Jonathan,” I said as I stood up to leave.
“Aaron,” he said, “If I don’t make it…”
“Don’t say that.”
“I have to…” he said, “Just tell Lucas that I know none of this is his fault.”

I stared at him wanting to ask him why he felt that needed to be clarified. After all, none of this could be pegged on Lucas’ shoulders, but most of it could be pegged on mine.

“He still blames himself for his girlfriend’s death last year,” he said, “I don’t want him to blame himself for mine.”

I gave him a nod and as much of a smile as I could muster. I walked out of the room to find Lucas sitting against the wall with his knees pulled against his chest. His head was on his arms and I could tell he was crying. I sat down next to him and put my arm around his shoulders again. He pulled his head off of his arms and fell into my chest as his cries took total control of his body.

And then the strangest thing happened. I felt myself crying as well. I felt the tears burn my eyes as they rushed forward and fell off of my face into Lucas’ hair. His sandy blonde hair turned darker where my tears hit.

“I’m so sorry Lucas,” I said.
“Why?” he asked.
“This is my fault,” I said.

We both pulled ourselves together and started walking out of the hospital. As I drove him home, he asked me why it was my fault, and I couldn’t lie to him. I told him everything that happened the night before. He didn’t look at me the whole way back. He stared out the window, and when I pulled into the parking complex, he threw the door open and flew out towards his dorm building.


I called out to him, but he didn’t even flinch. I watched as he slowly faded out of sight into the darkness. It was as if the darkness was swallowing him whole now, despite how bright the full moon was. I didn't even ask him if he could forgive me for being partially responsible.


When I got back into my room, I flopped down onto my bed and tried desperately to wake up, as if all of this were some horrible dream. I opened my eyes, but the pain was still there. It wasn't my pain though...it was Lucas' pain. I could still feel it now just as clearly as I could when he was pressed into me, bawling his eyes out. What made the pain sting even worse was knowing that at any moment, I could get a call telling me that Jonathan didn't make it.


The next thing I realized was that it was 9:30 a.m. Thursday. I didn't even remember going to sleep, or even being asleep. I went down to get some breakfast alone for the first time in over a year. I sat at a table, alone with my thoughts. Alone was a word I rarely used, no matter how alone I actually felt. I always had Henry, and I always had Carly. Last week I had Lucas too. Now I don’t have any of them.


I felt my phone buzz in my pocket so I pulled it out. I waited until the reminder buzz came to actually open it to see who it was. It was Lucas.


Jon rspnded well to the trtment. He’s brthing on his own.


That’s great Luke.


I’m rlly sry about last night. Can I make it up 2 u?


Sure, if you’re not mad at me anymore.


I nvr was Aaron. I’m sry I seemed like I did.


It’s cool man. So what do u have in mind?


Come by arnd 6 and u’ll find out =)