Hey guys, sorry it's been a while. I've been going through a lot of personal changes and a lot of bad shit has happened to me lately. I've gotten through it and everything's getting better, but I just haven't had the time between everything going on to do any writing. But the past couple days, I buckled down and wrote until my fingers went numb. I've already gotten amazing feedback on this chapter thanks to a very good friend 
Hope you all enjoy!
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Wings of A Butterfly
Chapter Nine:
The Gathering Storm
I felt my phone buzz in its usual spot underneath my pillow. Without opening my eyes, I pulled it out and opened it, hoping it was just my alarm going off. The hope was dashed when I heard Carly’s voice come from the receiver.
“Hey, are you talking to me yet?” she said.
I rolled my eyes with the lids still closed and said, “Yes, I am. Good morning to you too.”
“Hi, good morning,” she said, “So like are you off your period? Cause I kinda want my best friend today.”
“Yes,” I said with a sigh.
“Good. Meet me for breakfast in 10 minutes, and DON’T be late,” she said.
I hung up the phone and dropped it onto the ground next to my bed. I took in several deep breaths before I could summon the strength to get up. I felt paralyzed from what happened last night. My mind raced with questions, and my heart just raced as I thought about Lucas.
The sun seemed a little brighter today. I opened my eyes and was almost blinded by how brilliant the light was coming through the blinds. I played last night’s events over in my head. I stopped at the moment where Lucas and I were sitting next to each other, staring at my warrior in the sky. I replayed the shock that went through me when his arm brushed against mine. Every time our skin touched, it was like a tiny electrocution.
But when we were standing outside with the streetlights blinding my eyes, it was like those quiet moments before the storm hits. I played it in slow motion in my head. The way his lips felt against mine, sending a rush of energy through me. The electrocution was as powerful as a lightning storm at that moment. It didn’t feel wrong or disgusting like I was programmed to think kissing another guy would be. It felt like having the final piece of my puzzle missing for years, and then Lucas coming along to fill the empty space where the piece should have been.
I looked at myself in the mirror for a few minutes. I wasn’t an athletic guy, but I did think I was fit. I ran my hand through my dark brown hair and brushed at my face where stubble was starting to form. I thought it made me look jaunty, so I decided to not shave that morning. I threw on a light blue t-shirt and a pair of cargo shorts, grabbed my bag, and went out to meet Carly.
The air was crisp with the fall season looming over the horizon. A light breeze flew past me, cooling me from the heat emanating from the sunlight. The cool air stimulated my senses and enveloped me in a feeling of being truly alive. It was probably the first time in almost two years I’ve actually had this feeling.
I walked slowly from my dorm to the dining hall where Carly was surely waiting for me. She wasn’t the patient type, so I quickened my pace. I noticed her from a distance looking at her watch. When I approached her, she glared at me.
“5 seconds late,” she said.
“Really?” I asked, “You’re going to be THAT impatient?”
“I told you not to be late!” she said.
“Well you know me,” I said with a smile.
“What’s that smile about,” she asked.
Her eyes narrowed as she studied my face. After a couple seconds, her eyes widened again and her face looked stunned. She took in a sharp gasp and smiled at me with her “I know what you did” smile.
“You’re glowing!” she said.
“It’s the sunlight,” I said walking past her to get in line for breakfast.
“Aaron Michael Saunders don’t you dare lie to me,” she said.
“Fuck this middle naming me noise,” I said, “I didn’t do anything.”
“Liar!” she said.
“Whatever,” I said grabbing a plate.
“He kissed you didn’t he?” she asked.
“CARLY!” I yelled.
Everyone around me hushed and stared at me. I knew it was because I yelled, but part of me felt like it was because they knew. I set my plate down and walked out of the room. I could almost feel everyone’s eyes burning holes into my back as I left. I hooked around the corner of the building and sat down on the ground. I didn’t feel like crying, I just felt ashamed.
Carly slowly came around the corner and sat down next to me. She put her hand on my arm and I turned to look at her. She looked sad, and I felt terrible for being responsible for that look on her face.
“Aaron I’m sorry…that was inconsiderate,” she said.
“You were right though,” I said.
“I was wrong to ask,” she said, “It’s not my place to ask you that kind of thing, and I’m sorry I did it in front of all those people.”
I leaned into her and set my head on her shoulder. She brought her hand up and brushed the side of my face, in an almost motherly way. After a few moments my phone started buzzing in my pocket. I pulled it out to see “Lucas” displayed on the screen. I silenced the ring and put the phone back in my pocket.
“Why don’t you want to talk to him?” she asked,
“I don’t know what to say to him,” I said.
“Did you kiss him back?” she asked.
I remained silent.
“Sorry, I did it again…” she said.
“I did,” I said.
“Did you like it?”
“Yes…” I said.
“Then go do it again,” she said.
I looked up at her with a confused look on my face.
“Go tell him that you like him, that’s probably what he was calling about,” she said.
“But…”
“No,” she said cutting me off, “Go get him.”
I stood up and picked up my bag, but hesitated when I tried to take a step. I looked at Carly and she sighed.
“Aaron Michael Saunders if you don’t go get that boy then so help me I will make your life a living hell,” she said with a grin.
I smiled back and turned to walk towards the dorm buildings. I paid no attention to the clouds forming in the sky as they started cutting off the sunlight….
I knocked my three vertical knocks on Lucas’ door. My heart was pounding in my chest as I thought of what I might say to him. I knew I liked him, and I knew I liked our kiss. But what I didn’t know was how this was going to work out, or how I was going to come out. I didn’t even know what I was…
“Hey Aaron,” Lucas said as he opened the door.
“Hey Luke,” I said.
“What are you doing here?”
“You called…” I said.
“You know…some people return phone calls with…phone calls?” he asked with a grin.
“I know, I just thought we should talk in person,” I said.
“Ok, come on in,” he said.
He smiled at me as I walked into his room. His gorgeous hazel eyes sparkled, and I couldn’t look away from him. I stood in the middle of the room, and he stood at the door after he closed it. I shifted on my feet as the discomfort set in. I didn’t know what to say. I definitely didn’t know what he wanted me to say.
He walked over to me, placed his hands at my sides and kissed me. When he pulled away, I felt tears form in my closed eyes. I opened them to see him with a sad look on his face.
“You’re breaking things off with me aren’t you?” he asked.
“No!” I said, “I don’t know…”
“Aaron, if you don’t want to be with me, you just have to say so,” he said.
“Luke,” I said, “That’s not it.”
“Then what’s wrong?” he asked.
“I really don’t know what happened last night,” I said, “And I’m not sure how to process it.”
“Aaron…you kissed me back…” he said.
“Yeah, but before I did it you freaked out,” I said, “You were ashamed of it.”
“So? I thought you were going to hate me, I didn’t know you were going to respond the way you did,” he said.
“No, my point is…if you were ashamed of it, then how am I supposed to feel about it?”
“Aaron… I wasn’t ashamed of liking you,” he said.
“You weren’t?”
“No,” he said resting his hand on my face, “I was ashamed of what I did.”
He leaned in and kissed me again.
“But I’m not anymore,” he said.
He pulled me into him and kissed me. The feeling of his lips on mine, and his hands on my back were all like little electrodes sending off continuous shocks through my body. He pushed be backwards and I fell onto his bed. He leaned in on top of me and started kissing my neck. I felt his tongue slide across my skin as he kissed me. My skin surged with excitement as his hands explored my body. I felt his hand go under my shirt, and suddenly I was overwhelmed with fear.
“Luke…” I gasped.
He moaned softly.
“Luke…stop…”
He moaned again and moved his hand down my thigh.
“No,” I said.
He stopped and looked me in the eyes, panting from his excitement.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I’m just…not ready,” I said.
“What do you mean?”
“Sex is a big deal for me…” I said, “I hear people saying that their first time is something they remember all the time, whether it was amazing, or something they’d rather forget; whether it was with someone they really cared about, or some random person from a bar; whether it makes them happy, or it makes them depressed. I want my first time to be something I smile about every time I think about it. I’m sorry…”
“Aaron,” he said firmly, “Don’t you dare be sorry for that.”
“What?”
“You have no idea how much respect I have for you now,” he said, “That is the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Really? It doesn’t bother you?” I asked.
“Of course not,” he said, “I promise I won’t ever pressure you Aaron.”
“Thanks Luke,” I said with a smile.
“So, does that mean we can’t even kiss?” he said with a frown.
“Of course not,” I said pulling him up to my lips.
I felt a surge of electricity go through me. His soft skin felt warm to the touch. After a few moments he pulled away and just looked at me. A smile stretched across his face which forced a smile onto mine. We both jumped at the same time when his phone started buzzing on his bedside table. I ran my right hand through his hair as he reached over and picked up the phone.
“Hello?” he asked.
I could hear the faint sound of a female voice speaking very quickly coming from the phone.
“Lynn…wait; slow down,” he said, “What’s going on?”
He listened intently to the phone and made a frustrated look.
“Ugh, okay I’ll be downstairs in 2 minutes,” he said, “What? No give me 2 minutes!”
He hung up the phone and looked back at me apologetically. He looked like he were about to break in two.
“That was my friend Cherilyn,” he said, “I need to go downstairs and help her with her essay. She’s totally incompetent when it comes to writing so she needs my help.”
“Oh, okay that’s no problem,” I said, “Just hurry back.”
I leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips.
“You are making it really hard to leave,” he said.
“I know,” I said kissing him again, “But if it helps, I promise to be here when you get back.”
“Deal,” he said as he stood up.
He grabbed his bag and his keys and walked towards the door. With his hand around the knob, he froze. Before I knew it he was back on top of me on the bed giving me another kiss. This one lasted for about 5 years. Or, at least that’s what it felt like. He stood up and smiled at me.
“Had to get one for the road,” he said.
“Oh just get out of here,” I said blushing.
After he left, I grabbed his remote and turned on the little TV sitting on a table at the foot of his bed. I flipped through the crappy local channels and found nothing to watch. Looking around the room, I noticed his laptop sitting at his desk. I opened it up and turned it on, hoping to check my email, but was stopped by his password protection.
Damn.
I stood up and looked around the room. It was then that I noticed the smell. It was like those moments when you were a child, standing outside in a rainstorm, watching the clouds form and taking in the scent of the first droplets hitting the ground with a hint of vanilla in the air as well. I looked outside and noticed the sun was completely blocked out, and the ground was polka-dotted with water.
The vanilla smell rose out from the rain smell when I closed the door. I sat back down on Luke’s bed and brought his pillow up to my face. It smelled wonderful; peaches and cream. My eyes instinctively shut as I took in the details of his room. When my eyes opened, I noticed a stack of papers on the ground next to his desk. I stood up and looked at the one on the top that read, “Aaron Saunders’ Heart of Gold.”
This must be his essay.
I picked it up and thumbed through it.
Damn he wrote a lot…
I turned the pages and noticed a section that was circled in red. I read through it and my eyes widened in terror as I read something that tore my heart apart on the inside…
The source of Aaron’s issues with trusting people is most likely caused by the trauma of losing his mother to Breast Cancer. His life took a turn for the worst as the one person he could trust in his life was suddenly taken from him, and since then he’s had this wall constructed around his heart to make sure no one else was able to touch it. I’m not sure why he let me through, I don’t even know if he truly likes me. But what I do know is that he’s the kind of person you have to be careful with. He’s the kind of person who doesn’t let people get close because he’s certain they’re just going to throw his trust in his face someday along the road.
I heard the door open behind me, but I couldn’t put the paper down.
“Okay, crisis averted. Now where were…” he said.
He trailed off when he noticed what was in my hands.
“Aaron…”
“Luke what the fuck is this?” I asked.
“You…you weren’t supposed to see that,” he said softly.
“I can’t believe you would do this,” I said. I felt the tears start to burn my eyes.
“Aaron wait,” he said, “That’s just a rough draft. I wasn’t going to turn that in I swear.”
“I trusted you,” I said staring angrily through eyes that were quickly filling with tears.
“Aaron I wasn’t going to show that to anyone. I circled it because I was taking it out,” he said, “I was just writing down everything I had in my head. I swear I wasn’t going to put that in.”
“You shouldn’t have even THOUGHT about writing that down,” I yelled.
“I’m sorry!” he yelled.
“I can’t even look at you right now,” I said as I bolted towards the door.
“Aaron please don’t leave!” he yelled, “Just give me a chance to explain!”
“You only get one chance with me Luke,” I said, “And you already blew it.”
The rain pelted me as I walked across the courtyard. I felt like there was a hole in my side, growing in size every second. It hurt a lot, but I couldn’t stop the pain. I got inside my dorm building and went straight up into my room. I didn’t even change out of my soaking wet clothes. In all my wetness, I flopped down on my bed and cried. The part that hurt the most probably didn’t have anything to do with being betrayed. I was almost certain that it hurt so much because of who betrayed me.
That’s what I get I guess…
Incredible sadness, I cannot take a death .. I am far too connected to this very real drama ... Your writing is spectacular ... 
