Wings of A Butterfly

[inthecloset]

I also wanted to include the videos that show the scenes of the concert I described in this chapter for anyone who was curious.

 

[____]

ITC,

I know I don't comment after every chapter, but I do read them all, and they are all very wonderful. I just didn't think I need to state the obvious so much .

Cheers,
Hugo

 

[pe_gay89]

That was an awesome chapter, ITC.

The reason I don't leave comments often is because I can't normally think of anything better than that to say.

 

[Kyanimal]

ITC! THANKS! for the concert!!

Great chapter! (As usual!) Can't wait to find out how "our" boys deal with this! Certainly hope they can find a way to work it out!

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[DonQuixote]

ITC,
This was so powerful.
So many places.
From slightly distant to OK to zoned then psyched.
Then to the concert and being one - with the lead singer, no less!

Then, the announcement and the long, QUIET drive home, late at night, while the mind wanders/races.

And the confession and confrontation.

There's a LOT of love there - going BOTH ways through the fighting.

Thank you, once again, for sharing your incredible talents with us.

 

[Craiger]

Intensity personified! The warmth, fear, exuberance, silence, dread and the indecision all in one great chapter, ITC. I know the boys will find the right answer to this new challenge.

Craiger

 

[FameMonster]

Lovelovelovelovelove it

 

[inthecloset]

Wings of A Butterfly

Chapter Twenty-One:
A Fork In the Road
​

Hey guys, this is Lucas talking. I knew from the very moment Aaron told me about his idea of writing our experience together that I would have to talk about my dream. In all honesty I never did plan on telling Aaron about it. He can say whatever he wants about us, but the one thing he'll be wrong about is that we do in fact know each other better than he thinks. I knew that if I told him about my dream, it would make him that much more supportive of the whole thing.

But that's not what Aaron wants me to say. He asked me to write this because whenever I tried to tell him what the dream was about, my throat would close up and the words wouldn't come out. So he talked me into writing it all down to get it out so maybe both of us could understand it. It's the part about everyone else reading all about it that bothers me right now. I wish there were an easier way to say all of this and I wish there was a way to say it without it being included in Aaron's story, but the fact is this dream was really important to the events that Aaron is leading up to.

So where to begin... I guess I have to say that yes, every night I had the same dream. Sometimes it had minor but very noticeable differences, but no matter what changed during the dream, it always ended the same way.

It would start with me sitting on a train alone. No one sat in the seat next to me and there were very few people in the car I was in. Usually, I saw this really old man sitting across the aisle from me. He too was alone, but he was more aware of it. He would stare at the empty seat with sad regret, as if whoever sat there was long gone from his life. Every time I looked at him I wished that I wouldn't end up like him; old, alone, and with nothing left to live for.

Sometimes the old man wasn't alone. There were a few dreams where there was an equally aged woman sitting in the empty seat next to him. When she was there, he wasn't sad anymore. He had a great big smile on his face as he held her hand in his. Her eyes were beautiful blue and they gazed lovingly at the man. When I had that dream, I wished I would end up just like that man; happy, loved, and with everything to live for.

Unfortunately I didn't have that dream often. He was usually alone. Sometimes he wasn't even there. But most times, I tried not to look at him because I knew how empty it would make me feel to see his forlorn eyes staring at the vacant seat. I would try to stare out the window at the country side. The train usually went through farmer areas so the view was very nice; lots of foliage and animals running around in the fields. This made me feel at peace when the old man was alone.

When the train pulled into the station, I would get off alone. Sometimes I waited politely to let the old man off first, but he would never budge from his seat. He didn't want to leave the person who wasn't there. It was as if that were the last place they were happy, so he wanted to stay there as long as he could trying to remember how happy he once was with the person who filled the space next to him. Every time I waited for him to get off first, he would wave his hand at me as if to say, “I'm not leaving,” and would look back at the seat.

I would stand there for a moment in disbelief. I couldn't understand why, if this person didn't want to be with him, he would stay and wait for her. I couldn't understand why he insisted on spending the rest of his life without the person he wanted to be with.

After a moment of staring at him with pain in my heart, I would get off the train and look around for whoever was supposed to pick me up. They were never there; not even during the dreams where the old man was with the woman. I must not have told anyone that I was coming back if no one was there to pick me up. Either that or when I left, they all forgot about me. To this day I choose to believe the former is the reason because the latter just makes me feel even worse.

So I walked. I would walk from the train station to wherever it was that I wanted to go. I usually ended up downtown or at the restaurant that I waited at for Aaron when he was attacked that night. I don't know why I would end up there, I just did. I guess because I was waiting for Aaron to suddenly appear in front of me and make everything okay again. But I was afraid of what I would see if he did. When I left, I hurt him.

When I got tired of waiting at the restaurant, I started walking again. I don't know where I ended up, but it was always the same place. I would get tired of walking and sit down on the curb as I watched people sprinting to wherever it was they were late getting to, and waltzing down the street completely oblivious to my existence. Except for one person.

“Lucas?” I heard a voice say.

I turned and looked up from where I was sitting and my eyes fell upon the most beautiful man I have ever seen. He was also the most beautiful man I had ever left.

“Aaron,” I said with gleeful relief.

I stood up to greet him with a hug, but he didn't return it. When I pulled away I noticed Henry was with him. I had a big smile on my face but his face remained surprised and motionless. After a few seconds my smile went away as I waited for him to speak. He turned to Henry first.

“Hey, you go ahead,” he said, “I'll catch up to you later okay?”
“Sure thing bud,” he said as he gave him a fist bump and walked away.

We stood there in our awkward silence for a moment, not sure what to say to each other. A couple awkward grins were passed as he went to sit on the curb where I was seated before. I followed him and sat down next to him with a couple inches between the two of us.

“What are you doing back?” he asked.
“Oh uhm,” I said, “The internship is over.”
“Over?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said, “I didn't get the job.”
“Oh Luke I'm sorry,” he said putting his hand on mine.
“It's okay,” I said, “Just wasn't meant to be I guess.”
“I see,” he said, “So are you back for good?”
“I'm not sure yet,” I said, “I still need to figure a few things out.”
“Like what?” he asked.
“I don't know. I guess I just want to take some time you know?” I said.
“No,” he said, “I don't... I don't know what that means.”
“It means,” I started, “That I need to put my life back together first.”
“Back together?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said, “When I left... I left everything. I need to try and get everything back. If I can't then I'm not staying.”
“Oh,” he said softly.

He moved his hand from mine and stared down at the ground between his legs. His soft brown hair blew lightly in the fall breeze. I caught a whiff of his scent in the air as it blew past the both of us. He always smelled like coconut or something and I knew that was what I was smelling. He scooted closer to me and took my hands in his and held them between us.

“Aaron,” I said, “I know I hurt you when I left.”
“Yeah you did,” he said.
“Is there any way you can forgive me?” I asked.
“Luke,” he said, “I wish there was. I spent so long being mad at you that I don't really know how else to be right now.”
“Aaron,” I whispered with tears building up in my eyes.
“You will always be the best thing that happened to me Lucas,” he whispered, “But I just can't put my heart through all that again.”
“I'm sorry,” I said through my tears, “I still love you.”
“And I still love you,” he said, “But it's just too hard to even look at you right now without remembering just how much it hurt when you left.”
“I'm sorry,” I repeated.
“I'm sorry too,” he said.

He stood up and looked down at me, his beautiful face destroyed by the sadness he was carrying in his eyes. I stood to join him at his level and took his hands in mine again. I pleaded him with my own eyes to take me back, but he didn't look at them. He turned, pulled his hands out of my grip, and started walking away. When he was a couple feet from me, he turned back and smiled at me.

“I will always love you Lucas Harper,” he said, “Nothing will ever change that.”
“Then please,” I said, “Don't leave.”
“I'm sorry,” he said, “But you left me first.”
“Aaron!” I yelled.
“Goodbye.”

And that's when I'd wake up. The crying usually began before I woke up as I'd wake up and my face would already be soaked with tears. Every time I had that dream I would sit up and try to forget it. Most of all, I would try to make sense of it. I had already turned down the offer so I didn't know why I was having this horrible dream. It broke my heart to think that I would ever leave Aaron and it made me want to kill myself to think that he wouldn't take me back if I did leave.

So I didn't want to leave. I made sure that I wouldn't have to leave and I didn't want to tell Aaron about it because I knew if he knew about it, he might make me go. When he said what he said about his mom, it was a low blow. It hurt me more than I ever thought Aaron could possibly hurt me. But I knew he was right. He already had someone give up their life and their dreams for him. When I left that night, I left to think about what he had said.

I went to my old thinking spot that I had before I met Aaron. There was this old abandoned building not too far from the school. It wasn't dangerous or run down; there was just no one to use it after the owners died. I would go to the roof and look out over the neighborhood. Some days I went out there just before sunset so I could watch as the city was illuminated by the light that poured over the horizon. It was definitely my happy place and after our fight, I needed to be somewhere happy.

***

It was probably about two in the morning when I finally made my way back to the apartment. Aaron was fast asleep but I had a feeling he hadn't moved from where he was standing for quite some time after I left. I got into bed as gently as I could to keep from disturbing his slumber. My efforts were for naught though because the moment I was tucked under the blankets, Aaron turned over and put his head on my chest. It was then that I knew he was never actually asleep because I felt my shirt become instantly moist from his tears.

I moved my left hand up to run my fingers through his hair in an attempt to let him know I wasn't mad at him. However, I'm sure I know Aaron well enough to know that he still thought so. Even my kiss on his cheek wasn't enough to keep his mind from convincing him of something he was totally afraid of. I gently ran my fingers in and out of his hair and brushed my face softly against the top of his head.

“I'm sorry,” I said.
“I'm sorry too,” he said.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Do you want me to stay?” I asked.
“Of course I do Lucas,” he said, “How could you ask me that?”
“Because you sounded like you were offended that I wanted to stay,” I said.
“Lucas,” he said softly, “I was offended about your reason for staying.”
“I thought it was a good enough reason,” I said.
“You should know that I want what's best for you,” he said, “Even if it hurts me. I want you to take the internship because that's what you wanted before you met me.”
“And before I met you I wanted to kill myself,” I said, “I thought about it every day. I thought about how no one would love me every time I saw my friends and their relationships. If it weren't for you I would have been gone by now.”
“Lucas don't say that,” he said.
“Why not?” I asked, “It's the truth.”
“Because I don't want to think of you like that,” he said, “I know who you are now and that person is strong. He can handle anything that's thrown at him with such grace and strength that it makes me wonder how someone so amazing could fall for me.”
“Then come with me.”
“You know I can't...”
“Why not?” I asked.
“I have to stay here Luke,” he said clutching his locket under his shirt, “I have to finish school.”
“Aaron...”
“No listen to me,” he said sitting up, “I have faith in you Lucas; I have faith in us. We're strong enough to handle this. We can make a long distance thing work.”
“But I don't want to be away from you that long,” I said.
“It's only three hours away,” he said, “I can come down there every weekend, we can talk, text, and even video chat every day. I have no doubt in my mind that we can make it six months.”
“And what if I get the job?” I asked.
“Then I finish school and come down there,” he said, “I'll get a job and we'll be together.”
“How can you be so sure about this?” I asked.
“Because I love you,” he said, “And that means I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be with you no matter what. But right now, you need to take this opportunity.”
“And what if you're wrong?” I asked.
“I'm not,” he said.
“But what if--”
“Stop it,” he said putting his finger against my lips, “I'm not wrong.”

He put his head back down against my chest and we were silent for a moment. I didn't know what else to say to him. He was so sure that we would be able to make something like this work, but I still wasn't convinced. I couldn't think of any way to make our relationship work when we were so far away from each other. Even Travis, the strongest person I know, didn't think he could make a long distance relationship work and broke up with Kelsey even though it killed him to do it.

“I don't know how to be without you Aaron,” I said.
“I know,” he said, “Neither do I. But we can figure it out.”
“Aaron this isn't what I want,” I said, “I want to stay here with you.”
“I don't want you to go either,” he said, “But more than that, I don't want you regretting it someday.”
“I won't,” I said.
“You might,” he said, “Somewhere along the line you might think about this choice. And when you do I want you to be sure you made the right decision.”
“Even if it means me leaving you?” I asked.
“Lucas you once told me that all you wanted was to be responsible for putting someone on stage,” he said, “What if you could discover the next Hayley Williams? Think about how many lives you'd change just by putting her on stage. Think about how tonight was for us... you could do that for someone else someday.”

I thought about that for a long moment. He was right of course. Somewhere out there was some young artist struggling to get their voice out there. The more I thought about that, the more I realized that Aaron wasn't trying to convince me for anyone but that person. He knew that nothing would make me happier than making someone's dreams come true and changing the lives of a million depressed, lonely teenagers who just want to know that they're not alone.

That's what music did for me. I knew that from the very first concert I went to. Once I saw that band on stage I knew I was going to be okay. When I saw how many other people there were in the stadium waiting to see this band perform, I knew I wasn't alone. All Aaron was trying to do was convince me that I could do that for someone else, and that would be more important than either of us. All he was trying to do was make me see how important I was to someone else besides him.

“Okay,” I said, “I'll call them tomorrow.”
“Thank you,” he said, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I said, “Just know that I'm going to do it with every bit of reluctance I can possibly muster.”
He laughed at that, “I'm fine with that.”
“Are you sure this is right?” I asked.
“It may not be easy Lucas,” he said, “But it's definitely something you need to do.”

And with that, I felt my eyes start to droop. Aaron rested his head against my chest, using my muscles as a pillow. I stared at him for a while wondering how I could possibly leave him. Even though it's something I don't think I can do, he has some kind of blind faith in me. I wasn't afraid of being without him so long that I might be tempted by someone else; I would never think about doing that to him. And I definitely wasn't afraid of the same thing happening to him. I was afraid that if we didn't see each other for a long time, we might drift apart.

But if he was certain that wouldn't happen, then I would just have to have as much faith in him as he had in me...

 

[DonQuixote]

ITC,
That was a great chapter. So much emotion, angst, love.
I can see the turmoil in Lucas' mind.
Particularly after all he's been through, the fear of losing Aaron is extremely real, tangible, and horrific to him.

You make us want to take both boys in a massive bear hug, and tell them both all will be OK.

Thanks for sharing this with us.

 

[Kyanimal]

ITC ...

EXCELLENT!!!

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[pe_gay89]

Brilliant chapter, ITC. I finished it with a huge smile. <--- Like that, only bigger. They'll be okay I reckon. Thanks for posting this.

 

[____]

ITC, such an emotional and powerful chapter! Thank you for sharing .

 

[littletosay]

Awww. Beautiful chapters, ITC. It won't be easy, but if they truly love each other, they'll make it work. Thanks for the update!

 

[inthecloset]

Wings of A Butterfly

Chapter Twenty-Two:
Starry, Starry Night
​

The sound of mumbled voices stirred me from my sleep the next morning. I cracked my eyes open and allowed them to adjust to the sunlight seeping in through the window above the bed. My body refused to move after the minimal sleep I had gotten that night. I turned my head toward the alarm clock and waited for my eyes to focus to read the time.

8:30... How could he already be awake?

I flipped over onto my stomach and spread out my arms trying to make myself more comfortable. When I failed to do so, I settled on trying to hear Lucas' voice through the walls. Unfortunately I failed to do that as well. So I just laid there in my own silence as I usually do in the mornings waiting for my reason to force my body out of bed to pop into my head.

Lucas walked into the bedroom a few minutes later. I moved my head a little to see him in all his beauty. He had already taken a shower; I could tell because he was only wearing a clean pair of boxer briefs. I could see his cock bouncing around as he walked and I smiled when he wiggled it at me after noticing I was staring. He walked over to the bed and slapped my butt through the blankets. I rolled over onto my back and smiled at him.

“I like how it bounces,” he said with a grin.

His voice was scratchy and strained from yelling at the concert. I knew mine would be too so I restrained from saying anything until absolutely necessary because I knew he would give me shit about it. I smiled at his comment, turned back onto my stomach and shook my ass at him a little bit.

“Ooh sexy,” he said.

He dove into the sheets head first and laid next to me. His face rested right next to mine and his soft eyes focused on mine. He leaned forward and kissed my lips with tender care. I kissed back with just as much love and tenderness he gave me.

“I love you,” he said.
“I love you too,” I croaked.
“Oh hello, Kermit the Frog,” he said, “Where's Aaron?”
“Very funny,” I said harshly.
“You know I'm just messing with you,” he said.
“I know...” I said quietly.
“So what you got going on today?” he asked.
“I have to hit up the library in a couple hours,” I said.
“What for?” he asked.
“First research paper of the semester,” I sighed.
“Ah, sounds like loads of fun,” he said, “Want some help or company?”
“I’d love some but it's not necessary,” I said.
“Yeah it is,” he said quietly.
“Why?” I asked.
“I just got off the phone with that record label,” he said, “And it's official. I got the spot.”
“That's great,” I said softly, “I was kinda hoping it was already too late.”
“So was I,” he said.

He lifted his arm and brushed the bangs away from my forehead with his fingertips. The tips of his fingers grazed my skin and sent those tiny sparks of electricity through my skin. The thought of him leaving scared me and the thought of never feeling that way again made my stomach ache. I tried to hide my pain from him, but trying to fool Lucas was like trying to take a shower with rocks instead of soap. He looked into my eyes; his own eyes filled with concern.

“What's wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing,” I said, “I just... Is it okay for me to complain about you leaving?”
“Not a chance,” he said.

He sat up and straddled my chest, looking down at me with his beautiful, perfectly sculpted face. He ran his hands against my arms and my hands went up to his thighs as I stared up at him. His smile from earlier had completely vanished and was replaced by a serious look he rarely had. A lump formed in my throat as I stared at my boyfriend and wished I had just kept my mouth shut last night. If I had just been a little selfish, he wouldn't have to leave me.

“Aaron this is really hard for me to do,” he said, “I really need you to support me through this or I'll never be able to do it. If you complain... it'll just make this even harder than it already is, and I can't take that.”
“I'm sorry,” I said, “I'll support you no matter what you do baby.”
“Thank you,” he said, “I really appreciate that.”
“Lucas,” I whispered.
“Yeah,” he whispered back with a grin.
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“What is it?”
“I'm crazy about you,” I said with a smile.
“Well then, can I tell you a secret?” he asked.
“What?” I asked.
“You should see a therapist,” he said with an evil grin.
“Jerk,” I said, pushing him off my chest.

He landed on the other side of the bed, doubling over in laughter. I got up and walked toward the closet to retrieve a change of clothes. When I turned around to look at him, he was laying on his stomach diagonally on the bed with this chin in his palms and his feet in the air.

“You're mean,” I said.
“Oh come on, Aaron,” he said.
“You say I sound like Kermit the frog,” I said, “And that I need a therapist.”
“Come here,” he said.

I dragged my feet as I walked over to him. He sat up and scooted his butt to the edge of the bed. When I got close enough, he reached out to grab my hands in his.

“To be honest,” he said, “If you need a therapist then I should be committed. ‘Cause I'm crazy enough to want to be your Miss Piggy.”
I let out a loud laugh when he said that, “Nice save.”
“I try,” he said with a grin, “But seriously Aaron, I want you to know that whenever I may point out your flaws, you shouldn't take it the wrong way. I love your flaws; they're part of what make you special to me. Every imperfection makes you more perfect for me. Every clumsy moment you have, the fact that your right eye squints just a little bit when you read, the way the left side of your mouth curls up when you smile, how you're ticklish on the left side of your neck and not your right; every time I point out something, it's just my way of telling you that I know you.”

I leaned in to kiss him. I wrapped my lips around his and pushed my tongue past his teeth to dance with his. A symphony of tastes and moans filled my mouth. When I pulled my face away from his, a smile was stretched across his face.

“Go shower,” he said, “You smell like ass.”
“Whatever,” I said as I turned to walk away, “You love my ass.”
“You know I do,” he said as his hand reached out and squeezed my left cheek, “Oh, by the way, I saw Jason downstairs when I went to get a paper. He invited us to dinner tonight.”
“That sounds great,” I said, “Go tell him we'll be there.”
He slammed his hand against the wall that joined our apartment with Jason and Haley's and said, “Hey we'll be there tonight.”

I stared at him in disbelief until I heard a slam come from the other side and Jason's voice saying, “Awesome!” Lucas had a massive grin on his face as I gave him a wide-eyed, blank look of shock and turned to walk away.

“Wear something slutty tonight!” he called out.

***

I wore the white V-neck Lucas said looked too tight on me and my pair of black jeans which he said drew immediate attention to my ass when I turned around. I indeed looked slutty and smiled every time I caught him checking me out.

By now, Lucas' hair had grown out a bit since we left for Winter Break and was in desperate need of a trim according to his vanity. I however thought he looked nice with a little longer hair. The bangs barely drooped over his eyes as it was too long for him to try to keep it pointing outwards the way he liked it. The sides which were usually cut really close had grown out to look more like mine. All in all, I thought he looked amazing the way he was, but he liked his hair a certain way and already had plans to get it cut the next day.

He was wearing a tight shirt also, except his was a black button-up shirt. He wore nothing underneath and left the top button unhooked to try and get me to check him out too. As a way to get me back for my choice of attire, he wore those faded blue jeans that drove me crazy. They gripped at his thighs perfectly and formed around his ass in a way that made it look better than it did naked. It was weird how Lucas could turn me on so much while wearing clothes.

His left hand was around my waist, holding me close to him as we knocked on our neighbors' door. I felt his hand move from the grip he had on my waist to my back pocket and slip inside. He leaned his head over and kissed me playfully on the cheek.

“I bet you get hard before I do,” he said.
“Ten bucks,” I accepted.
“You're going down,” he said.
“Yeah, ‘cause you'll be the one with the wood,” I said grinning.

The door opened before he could say anything more to try and entice me. I was thankful because I knew he was about to whisper something into my ear that would give me an instant hard-on. Haley appeared behind the opening door with a bright smile on her face and an even brighter smile on Jason behind her.

I guess I should take a moment to describe these two, starting with Jason. He was alright looking, nothing too special. He looked to be in his mid thirties and was in pretty good shape. His pecs were well defined under his dark red button-up shirt and his biceps were nearly popping the sleeves open. He had dark hair; darker than mine. It was slightly curly, but I could tell that's just because it was long. It wasn't really long; it was just longer than mine. He had the workings of a mustache, but not much of one, and a small goatee.

He had dark eyes as well, but they were full of happiness all the time. Jason was one of those guys whose smile was contagious; and he was always smiling.

Haley was almost like his opposite. She was bright in every way possible. Her brown hair, blue eyes, and the color of her clothes were all luminous colors and made the rest of her seem even brighter. Even her smile somehow seemed whiter because of the rest of her appearance. She was shorter than Jason, who stood about two inches taller than Lucas. If I had to guess, she was probably about five foot four and the rest of her body was proportionate to her height which made her a tiny woman. However, she was a tough one too, which I'll get to later.

They greeted us and lead us into their apartment. This was probably the first time Haley and I actually spoke to each other considering when we were moving in, Carly hogged Haley all to herself to talk about their respective weddings. She instantly saw through the wall I still put up when meeting new people and told me to knock off my shit before Lucas even had a chance to. I smiled graciously and bowed slightly to her which she laughed at.

“Listen, Aaron, you and Lucas feel free to be yourselves around here okay?” she said.
“Okay,” I said rather cautiously.
“It's best to do as she says guys,” Jason added, “She'll put the spotlight on you until you do.”
I grabbed Lucas' hand in mine and looked at Haley, “Better?” I asked.
“A little,” she said.

Lucas pulled me into him and planted a big wet smooch on my lips.

“Now that's what I'm talkin’ about,” she said.

I hadn't noticed her southern drawl before but it was definitely there. After I noticed it, a lot of things about her made me wonder where she was from. She was a small, but muscular woman who really didn't take kindly to bullshit. I could easily imagine her in a cowboy getup and wrestling with a bull... and winning.

As Haley continued cooking dinner Jason, Lucas, and I all sat in their living room. Thanks to Haley, their place looked very clean and fancy. The couch was white and faced with its back to the kitchen toward a nice big screen TV. There was a large white chair that looked like it could seat two easily in it next to the couch which faced with its side toward the kitchen. A short coffee table sat in the center with an ottoman sitting on the open side as if to serve as an extra seat.

I could tell immediately that Jason was an intelligent man. Instead of a cable box, he had their TV hooked up to a PC tower. Their remote was a wireless keyboard and he used that to download TV shows instead of watching them on cable. I took little mental notes as I was sure they saved a ton of money from not having to pay a cable bill.

Lucas' eyes found the paintings that Haley had hung up around the walls. He admired them with his jaw slightly dropped and walked from painting to painting to study them. While I was chatting with Jason, I noticed he had stopped at one for much longer than the others. I excused myself and walked over to him. I recognized the Van Gogh painting immediately when I came within eye-shot of it. We had studied this painting in my sixth grade class because of my teacher's obsession with art history.

I gazed at the beautiful copy of Starry Night that hung on the wall and remembered the song that went with it. My teacher had played it for us the first time we looked at the painting and I remembered it like it was yesterday.

Starry, Starry Night.
Paint your palette blue and gray,
Look out on a summer's day,
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills,
Sketch the trees and the daffodils,
Catch the breeze and the winter chills,
In colors on the snowy linen land.

Now I understand,
What you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now.

I didn't notice the tears in my eyes until Lucas wiped them away. He also had tears in his eyes so I returned the favor and wiped his away.

“You were thinking of the song weren't you?” he asked.
“You know it too?” I asked.
“Of course,” he said, “Art major, remember?”
“Oh yeah, duh,” I said.
“I take it you guys like that painting?” Jason said from his seat on the couch.
“Yeah, it's one of my favorites,” Lucas said.
“Well, talk to Haley,” Jason said as he got up to join us, “She insisted we have that piece.”
“I can see why,” Lucas said, “It's beautiful.”
“You said something about a song?” Jason asked.
“Yeah,” I said, “It was written about this piece.”
“And all the others too,” Lucas said.
“I thought it was just this one,” I said.
“No,” Lucas said sternly, “He talks about a bunch of them in that song.”
“Did what's-his-name write it?” Jason asked.
“Who?” I asked.
“The guy that painted it,” he said, “Did he write the song?”
“Oh, God no,” Lucas said, “Don McLean wrote and sang it.”
“It really is a haunting song,” I said.
“You'll have to let me hear it sometime,” Jason said.
“Boys,” Haley called from the kitchen, “Slop's on!”

Jason pushed us into the kitchen where Haley stood looking like the perfect image of a 1950's housewife. Her lace apron folded in half and tied around her waist along with the retro apparel she was wearing was something right out of Home & Garden.

“Wow, Hales,” Jason said, “You look just like Florence Henderson.”
“Watch it, babe,” she said, “I'll scratch your eyes out and make you my bitch in front of these guys.”
“Whoa, hey, keep the kinky stuff for when you're alone,” I said grinning.
“Sit down and eat,” she said glaring at me.

I did as I was told and took my seat. Haley brought around a plate of roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, boiled peas, and something I didn't recognize. I poked and prodded at the stuff made up of rice and celery and some other things I couldn't figure out. Once I popped it in my mouth though I couldn't get enough of it. Whatever it was, it was delicious.

“You like the rice salad?” Haley asked.
“It's incredible,” I said with a mouthful.
Lucas nudged my side and said, “Don't talk with your mouth full, babe.”
“Bet you tell him that a lot,” Jason said under his breath.
Haley punched his shoulder and said, “Jason, don't be rude.”
“Haley, don't be prude,” he said with a grin.
“It's okay,” I said laughing, “I wish I thought of it first.”
“So,” Lucas said clearly changing the subject, “When's your wedding?”
“Two months, three weeks, and five days,” Haley spat out.
“Wow,” I said, “Freaking out yet?”
“Not at all,” Jason said, “My baby is rock solid.”
“Yeah,’ rock solid,’” Haley said, “That's a lie; I'm a total mess.”
“Don't worry,” Lucas said, “That's normal.”
“Yeah, but that doesn't make it any better,” she said.
“Where are you getting married? That big church on Santa Rosa?” Lucas asked.
“Uh, well no actually,” Haley said.
“We're not getting married here,” Jason said, “Haley's grandma has diabetes and well... she's not doing so good. She still lives in southern Texas and the doctors say travel is out of the question for her.”
“We're gonna move out of here in about 5 weeks and start getting ready for the wedding over there,” Haley added.
“After the honeymoon we're going back to be with her family until... well, until it's time,” he said.
“Oh, man,” I said, “I'm sorry.”
“No, it's okay,” Haley said, “I'm sorry too. We wanted to invite you guys but we know it's right in the middle of the semester and... well, we couldn't put you in that position.”
“Oh, no, we understand,” Lucas said, “It's okay.”

We all fell silent for a little while. Lucas and I traded uncomfortable looks with each other. I knew he was feeling guilty for bringing the subject up and wanted to say something. I grabbed his hand under the table and squeezed it softly to let him know it was okay. He squeezed back and I could feel the guilt inside him pour into me. We sat there with no sounds except for the forks and spoons scraping against the plates as we ate. It was one of those moments where you lose track of time in the silence and I was almost startled when it was broken.

“Have Carly and Mike picked a date yet?” Jason asked.
“I don't think so,” I said, “I know it's going to be in the summer though so they can do it at home.”
“Where's home?” Haley asked.
“Sacramento,” I said, “Bout 300 miles North of here.”
“Oh wow,” she said, “Home's pretty far away.”
“Not for me,” I said smiling at Lucas.
“Where's home for you?” Jason asked.
“Wherever Lucas is,” I said.
“Awwww,” Haley said. She turned toward Jason and slapped his arm, “Why can't you be that romantic to me?”
“Because you hit me all the time!” he said.
“I do not,” she said crossing her arms.
“Do too,” he said.
“Yeah, well, you deserve it most of the time,” she said.
“I believe it,” Lucas said smiling.
“Don't encourage her,” Jason said.
“So has Carly picked out a dress yet?” Haley asked, changing the subject as subtly as Lucas had.
“She hasn't shown me anything yet,” I said.
“Well, she showed me this beautiful dress when we were over at your place a couple weeks ago,” she said, “Honestly, if I hadn't already had mine fitted and paid for I would have snatched that one.”
“I wonder why she didn't show me,” I said.
“She didn't plan on buying that one,” she said, “It was out of her price range.”
“Oh,” I said, “That sucks.”
“Yeah it does,” she said, “That dress was amazing.”

We all finished eating and Haley served us all a cup of coffee and a slice of her homemade apple pie. She said it was her grandmother's recipe; and I must say, it was probably the best pie I've ever had. I don't know what all I tasted, but it wasn't just apples. There was a multitude of flavors circling my tongue and driving my taste buds insane. I could see why Jason was marrying the girl. If Lucas could cook like her I'd be shoving a ring on his finger in a hot second.

After dessert was served and the chatting dulled to a light conversation as all of us sat around the coffee table, Lucas and I decided it was time to go back to our place. As we said our goodbyes, I hoped that after they moved we would someday find them again. They weren't a normal couple like most people you see, and I knew from the start that Jason and Lucas would be close as would Haley and I. The pit in my stomach told me that I would miss them terribly when they left.

Once we were through the door, Lucas wrapped his arms around from behind me and pushed his lips against mine when I turned my head to look at him. I felt his crotch press into my butt and the log in his shorts told me that he had lost the bet.

“You can pay me in the morning,” I whispered with a grin.
“Shit, I forgot all about that,” he said.
“I knew you would,” I said smiling wider at him as I turned to face him.
“Well, when you dress this slutty,” he said grabbing my ass, “How could I even remember to breathe?”
“That's a good question,” I said, “But, you're not so conservatively dressed yourself big guy.”
“Had to at least put up a fight,” he said, his beautiful smile finally breaking across his face.

He gave my butt one more pat and pulled away from me. I went to the fridge to grab a water bottle and sat down on the couch waiting for Lucas to come out of the bathroom. When he did, he flopped down on the seat next to me and pulled me into his arms. We sat like that for a few minutes as I fell into his incredible strength and lost myself in his aromas. I closed my eyes and allowed every piece of him take control of my senses.

“Hey Aaron,” he said.
“What's up?” I whispered.
“I wanna do something,” he said, “You're gonna think I'm crazy, but I really want to do it.”
“What is it?” I asked as I opened my eyes and sat up.
“I want to buy Carly that dress she wants,” he said.
“You're right,” I said, “You are crazy.”
“I'm serious though,” he said.
“Why?” I asked, “That's a lot of money if she can't afford it. Carly's been saving up for her wedding since she was five.”
“Which is why I want to buy it for her,” he said.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“She's been planning it for almost twenty years,” he said, “If she plays her cards right, this will be the only wedding she has. She deserves the dress she wants, not the one she can afford.”
“Luke, that's really sweet,” I said.
“But?” he asked.
“No 'but', it's a really sweet gesture,” I said, “And you're right. She does deserve it.”
“Okay, but listen,” he said, “I want to surprise her with it. You need to find out which one it is; get all the details on it. And you need to keep her from buying another dress until I can get one in her size.”
“I promise I'll do everything I can,” I said.
“Thanks,” he said.

We sat there for a few more minutes before we both started yawning. We made our way back to the bedroom, undressed to our underwear and climbed under the covers. I rolled on my side and he pressed up against my back, wrapping his arms around my torso. My hands instantly went on top of his and our fingers entwined with each other.

I could feel his breath on the back of my head. His body heat transferred into me which was the only thing keeping me warm on these cold winter nights. I felt his crotch pressing against my back; it was still hard as a rock.

“Luke?” I whispered into the darkness.
“Yeah baby?” he asked.
“Do you feel like we don't... ya know... do it... enough?” I asked.
“What?” he asked, “You mean fuck?”
“Oh well you make it sound so much more romantic.”
“Sorry,” he said.
“Well do you?” I asked.
“Honestly,” he said, “No. When we make love Aaron... it's like the world stops turning. When we do it, my body erupts in feelings that I can't even describe. There's nothing like the feeling of your body pressed up against mine as I blast myself into you. It doesn't matter how many times we do it because once will leave me weak in the knees for days.”
“And what about when you leave?” I asked, “What happens then?”
“Well we'll definitely make good use of our webcams,” he said, “But honestly the sex isn't what matters most to me. It's moments like this that are most important to me.”
“Moments like what?” I asked.
“This,” he said squeezing me, “Me holding you, talking to you, and being so madly in love with you. I'm gonna miss this more than anything.”
“I love you too,” I said smiling, “You're the best boyfriend anyone could have.”
“No,” he said, “You are.”

His lips grazed mine with no hint of lust in them and his hands tightened around my torso. Finally my body succumbed to the long and tiresome weekend we had suffered through. My eyes couldn't stay open much longer and my last thought before I fell asleep was about how much I was going to miss being around this boy in a few months.

 

[pe_gay89]

Great stuff, ITC!

 

[DonQuixote]

ITC,
A wonderful, love-filled chapter.

The simple, pure emotions pour off the page at us.

Thank you for taking the time to share this with us.

 

[Kyanimal]

Oh, NO!! EVERYONE is moving away!!

Jason and Haley, such recently found Friends, are SO "Kewl"! And, then there's Heart Throb, Best Bud, True Love, Lucas leaving, too!

How is poor Aaron, left all ALONE, possibly going to Cope???

Well ... he still has other Friends around him. And, with today's technology, it's much easier to stay in touch! Still ...

However, as "they" say, "Absence makes the Heart grow fonder!" And, somehow, I'm feeling that all of this is going to work out "just fine". Perhaps there will be "rough spots", and times of "turmoil", but I think everyone will be coming out of this much Stronger. At least, that is my Hope!

All the more reason to ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[littletosay]

Cute chapter, thanks ITC!

 

[inthecloset]

Hey guys,

I am so sorry I haven't posted an update yet. Sorry if I got anyone's hopes up with how quickly I was cranking out those last few chapters.

The truth is I've become conflicted with this story. First off, part of me wants to jump straight to the day Lucas leaves for his internship, but I feel like I burned that bridge with Graduation and the 3 year leap I did.

Second, I've already got my next story working over in my head. Part of me really wants to start writing it now, but I'll feel like I'm neglecting this story. I want to give this a good ending like I did with Graduation, and I want to be proud of that ending.

And last, but certainly not least, speaking of endings... I've recently become conflicted with the ending that I intended for Lucas and Aaron. I have one that I had decided on months ago and I've been leading this story up to it for the past few chapters. It's a nice ending that I'm sure will put the story to rest just fine.

However, the other day I thought up a new ending. This one is more intense and emotional. It's the kind of ending that will rip your heart out of your chest and stomp on it. And yet... I feel more proud of this than I do of the original ending. I've turned to several friends begging them to make this decision for me while going into incredible detail of each scenario. Unfortunately, none of them can decide either so I'm stumped. I wouldn't expect an update until I reach a decision about how I want this story to be finished...

Anyway just wanted to keep you all updated on the progress.

Much love,
- ITC

 

[Anonymous]

D: Don't rip my heart out ITC!!! Or do it, if it makes for good literature. But I will most likely cry like a little bitch

Take your time. I'm willing to wait if it means a great chapter!