Wings of A Butterfly

[pe_gay89]

Thanks for the update, ITC. I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

 

[inthecloset]

Well it's been 3 days and I haven't heard from my editor. Gonna give him another day or 2 to respond before I post the chapter as is.

 

[inthecloset]

Wings of A Butterfly

Chapter Twenty-Six:
Surprise, Suprise...
​

Aaron wanted me to write this part too... even though I keep telling him it's not that important.

This room had the stink of a hospital in it. The student health center on campus wasn't a very comforting place for me. I was trying to distract myself from the typical sounds of people typing on keyboards, coughing in other rooms and the ringing of the desk phones. With my eyes closed, I rubbed at my temples and silently mouthed Aaron's name over and over again to remind myself why I was here to begin with. Suddenly, a woman in a dark blue suit popped her head out of the doorway.

“Lucas Harper?”

My eyes popped open as I stood and walked over to her. She smiled and took my hand to shake it. I tried my best to smile, but I was in no mood to even fake a social pretense. As I walked into her rather large office and took a seat in a red velvet chair I'm sure Aaron sat in dozens of times when we first started dating, I noticed a lot of framed newspaper clippings on the wall. She took a pen out from her desk and sat across from me with a clipboard resting on her legs. She scribbled on the piece of paper attached to the clipboard before she spoke again.

“It's good to finally meet you, Lucas,” Veronica said.
“Likewise,” I said, “I take it Aaron has mentioned me.”
“He never shuts up about you, as a matter of fact,” she said smiling, “He thinks the world of you.”
“I know,” I said, “That's why I'm here.”
“Is it really?” she asked.
“Of course,” I said, “I'd do anything for him.”
“And he'd do anything for you, Lucas,” she said, “So I want you to be completely honest with me. No games and no beating around the bush. The sooner we find out what's going on, the faster we can fix it.”
Honesty... shouldn't be a problem for me.
“So, what really brings you here?”
“Well, something happened over Christmas Break,” I said, “I guess it just kinda stuck with me. I can't seem to shake the whole thing off.”
“What happened?” she asked.
“Well, the guy who attacked Aaron last semester found us and attacked again,” I said, “Ever since then I've gone from one thing after another.”
“Like what?” she asked.
“Well,” I said, “First, I couldn't sleep. I was too afraid to sleep even with Aaron right next to me. Shortly after that, I felt like I had to make sure Aaron knew how much I cared about him in case anything happened to me. The worst part was when I was having nightmares after we got back to school. They always circulated around Aaron and me.”
“What about recently, Lucas? What made you finally come here after all of this?”
“The anxiety,” I said, “It's been driving me crazy. Every other day I have a panic attack and when I don't, I'm on edge all the time.”

I leaned forward, placing my elbows onto my knees, arms laying flat across the gap between them. I ended up spilling my guts about everything that happened that day. I spent almost the whole hour talking about the very next day when I held Aaron in my arms and I was too scared to let him go and when we had to go testify against Kevin in court. The smile on his face was what haunted me the most. It was a cocky smile; the kind someone gets when they know something you don't.

It was when I told her this that she started scribbling on her clipboard. She looked quite concerned, lips pursed and brow furrowed. It was only when she stopped scribbling that I felt the anxiety rush through me. My fingers clenched at the cushion of the velvet chair I was sitting in and I felt beads of sweat start forming on my forehead.

“Lucas, I don't know how else to say this,” she said, “But I'm afraid Aaron's concerns about you were right.”
“Well how do I fix it then?” I asked with a tinge of urgency in my voice.
“I've written a couple of prescriptions for you,” she said, “One is called Remeron. It's a short term effect pill that will cause you to be very drowsy so only take it at night. The first dose will cause you to be very fatigued the next day so take it on a weekend and don't drive at all after you take it. It helps sorta shut off your brain at night so the anxiety won't come out in nightmares.”
“And the other one?” I asked.
“It's more of a long term drug,” she said, “It'll take a few weeks to actually start working.”
“What does it do?” I asked.
“It's complicated, but in a nutshell it levels you out permanently,” she said, “I do want you to come back for a few more sessions though to talk things through.”
“That's not a problem,” I said.
“There are some side effects of these meds though, Lucas,” she said.
“Like what?”
“The long term causes hair loss and slows your metabolism down,” she said, “And the short term increases your appetite and restlessness.”
“Geez...” I said.
“But don't worry,” she said, “Not a lot of people know about this, but there are herbs that can completely counteract these side effects. One of my former patients told me about them. I've written the names down here for you so you can go get them.”
“That's good news, I guess,” I said, “Thank you.”
“Take care, Luke,” she said, “I'll see you next week.”

* * *

“Happy birthday to you...”

His voice was soft and loving as it pierced the barrier of my dreams.

“Happy birthday to you...”

A smile crept across my face as my eyes cracked open and Aaron's smiling face appeared in my vision.

“Happy birthday dear Lucas...”

His lips pressed against mine and he whispered into my mouth.

“Happy birthday to you.”

I smiled and kissed him again as we both sat up in bed.

“Good morning,” he said.
“Good morning,” I said.
“Happy birthday,” he said, kissing me again.
“Ugh, don't remind me,” I said burying my head back into the pillows.
“Why not?” he asked as he pulled the pillows out of my grasp.
“’Cause I'm old,” I said.
“Seriously?” he asked, “You're only twenty-three!”
“That's old!” I said, snatching the pillows back from him and hiding my face.
“Oh, come on,” he said as I felt his hand caress my arm, “You're only four months older than me.”
“I'm still the old one,” I said with my voice muffled by the pillows.

I pulled my head out from hiding and looked at him with a sullen face. He rested his hand against my cheek and smiled at me as his thumb rubbed against the side of my face. I thought he was going to lean in and kiss me again, but he just stared into my eyes. His thumb stopped moving up and down and froze on one spot.

“You know,” he said, “I think you're right.”
“What?” I asked. I could almost feel the question mark that popped up above my head.
“Is that a wrinkle?” he asked.
I pushed him away, hid my face in the pillows again and said, “You're a jerk!”
“Come on, Luke, you know I'm joking!” he said trying to pull me out of my confinement.
“Jerk,” I repeated.
“Would a jerk have gotten you a birthday present?” he asked.
I leaned up and looked sheepishly at him, “Maybe.”

A smile broke out across his face as he kissed my cheek and went out the door into the hallway. I heard the hall closet open and shut and a few seconds later, Aaron reappeared in the doorway with his hands behind his back. He walked slowly toward me and knelt down next to the foot of the bed. I got up and crawled over to him so that we were face to face.

I tried to look behind him and see what he was hiding in his hands, but he thwarted my attempts as his smile grew wider on his face. His teeth were showing by the time I tried to reach my arms behind him and grab whatever he was holding but he moved quickly and my hands ended up on his ass. He let out a laugh as I squeezed a bit.

“Well, that's not what I got you, but you can have that too if you want,” he said with a soft giggle.
“Stop playing around and gimme,” I said.
“Are you sure you're twenty-three?” he asked, “’Cause you seem more like you're five.”
“Gimme,” I repeated with a smile.
“Fine,” he said, handing me flat, rectangular box.

I quickly ripped the wrapping paper off and pulled the top off of the box. Inside was a folded up piece of paper. I looked at him and saw his smile, then grabbed the paper and unfolded it. My hands froze as I sucked in an audible gasp of air. The piece of paper was a printed receipt for an online purchase. My eyes were stuck on the image of the item Aaron had bought and I couldn't believe my eyes until I read the item's description.

It was the receipt to a genuine Gibson Les Paul electric guitar. It was the same one I'd been eying every time I dragged Aaron into Guitar World. It was the same one I'd spent three hours playing in their demo room. The genuine Gibson Les Paul with a strap that had Yin Yang symbols all over it that I dreamed about so many times.

“Lucas,” Aaron said, “Are you okay?”
I realized that I wasn't breathing and let out the gasp I took earlier, “Yeah... Aaron, how did you afford this?”
“That's not important,” he said.
“Yes it is,” I said, “How did you do this?”
“I had a little extra money stored away for special circumstances,” he said smiling.
“Aaron you didn't have to,” I said.
“I know I didn't,” he said, “But it's worth it.”
“This must have cost you-”
“It's not important,” he said, “Anything to show you how much you mean to me.”
“Well, this has to be more than that,” I said.
“Shut up, dork,” he said, “You know how much I love you.”
“And you know how much I love your ass,” I said as I grabbed him at the waist and pulled him on top of me.
“Ooh, my big strong man,” he said, laughing.

My hands went down his waist and rested on the tops of his thighs. His hands were on either side of my head as he held himself up. I felt my crotch tingle as his recently tightened ass muscles rubbed against the cloth of my shorts. The smile that stretched across his face told me that he definitely felt it growing under his body.

“Is that your cell phone?” he asked with a wink.
I looked over at the bedside table and said, “My phone's over there.”
“Oh?” he asked with a smile.
“That... is all crotch.”
“Oh,” he said seductively.

He leaned forward and kissed my lips with a softness that can only be described as ghostlike. Suddenly, I felt as though neither of us were in our bodies. It was like we were floating in the sky and the only thing keeping us in the air was hanging onto each other. I felt his soul pressing against my soul, the two very reluctant to release the hold they had. And then we were back, and I was staring at his beautiful face again. His hand reached down to my crotch and gently pressed against my shaft.

The smile never left his face as he kissed my neck and slowly descended down my chest. He stopped at my left nipple and played with it and gently bit it. Further and further down he went until he reached the elastic of my pajama pants. His fingers hooked under the waistband and tugged my pants downward. He ran his fingers over the fabric of my boxers against my cock. The feeling of his touch, even though it was separated by the thin cloth, made my cock jump from excitement.

His fingers slid down to the button and pulled the fly of my boxers open. With tender care, he slipped my cock out of its cage. I closed my eyes as I felt his lips wrap around the head of my cock. I took in a sharp breath of air as his tongue danced around my cock inside his mouth. His lips slid downward and threw me into a frenzy. I felt his nose hit my pubes and almost lost control when he took a deep breath through his nostrils. He pushed further until the tip of my cock hit the back of his throat.

He gagged a little but held it there, swirling his tongue around my shaft. I nearly exploded right then and there, but he must have sensed it and pulled himself off completely. The rush of cum flew out of my cock and sprayed all over his face. He held his face there until every drop spilled out. He licked my crotch clean and came back up to kiss me. His lips were sweet and tangy from the fresh coat of my juices on them. He pulled away and sat on my lap, staring down at me with a smile on his cum-splashed face.

“How do you make that feel so good?” I asked.
“I just know when to hit what,” he said, looking proud.
“You'll have to show me that so I can do it for you,” I said.

Suddenly, a look of grief washed over his face.

“What's wrong?” I asked. I couldn't disguise my concern.
“Nothing,” he said, “It's just...”
“What?” I asked.
“Well,” he said, “My birthday falls on a Wednesday.”
“So?” I said.
“In July,” he said.
“I don't understand, Aaron,” I said.
“You'll be in LA,” he said.
“Oh...”

We both fell silent for a moment. I wasn't sure what to say to him at all. He was right, I wouldn't be here for his birthday.

“I guess it's all starting to hit me,” he said.
“I don't have to go, Aaron,” I said, “I can still back out.”
“No,” he said, “I won't let you do that... I can't ask you to do that.”
“Yes, you can,” I said.
“I can, but it would be incredibly selfish of me, wouldn't it?” he asked.
“Aaron,” I said, “it's okay for you to be a little selfish after everything you've been through. It's okay for you to want to keep something that makes you happy after having so much taken from you.”
“But it's not fair for me to take something from someone else,” he said.
“Is that what you're so worried about?” I asked, “That if I don't get this job, someone else won't get what they want?”
“Sorta,” he said.
“If I don't get the job, Aaron, someone else will,” I said, “No matter what, they'll find anyone I would find.”
“That's not the only reason, Luke,” he said.
“Then what? Tell me 'cause I'm starting to think you just want me to leave.”

As soon as I said it, I regretted it more than anything else.

“What? How can you say that?” he asked. The pain in his voice struck a nerve.
“I'm sorry,” I said as I pulled his body into mine, “I didn't mean that.”
“Luke,” he said, “I don't want to lose you. But I don't want to end up like my parents.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.

He pushed himself away from me and sat on the edge of the bed, facing away from me. He started talking so I didn't move from where I was.

“I told you I didn't remember much about my dad,” he said, “But there are things I do remember...”

* * *
I'm back. I told Lucas he was on a roll, but he didn't want to write this part.

I was only two when my dad skipped town with that waitress. I remember the day he said goodbye to me as clear as freshwater going through a water filter. I was playing with the dumpster truck that my mom's friend Billy gave to me for my birthday the month before. I don't remember much about the time of day or the weather outside. I just remember my dad coming into my bedroom and telling me that he was leaving for a long time.

Now this is the hard part to think about...

He told me these exact words.

“I know you don't understand Aaron, but I just can’t be here anymore.”
“Why? Where are you going?”
“I'm going far away.”

Tears were streaming down my face at this point.

“Why are you leaving? Did I do something wrong?”
“No, son,” he said, “I did. I should never have stayed here in the first place.”
“I don't want you to go,” I said as I threw myself in his arms.
“I'm sorry, Aaron,” he said, “But I don't want to stay.”

One day, I asked my mom about it, and she told me why he said that. They met when they were teenagers in the late 70's. The country was still buzzing with the idea of free love amongst the youth. They both graduated high school together and moved out of their parents' houses. My dad instantly went to work and they both moved in together. They both worked and saved up their money. They didn't get married, but my mom knew he was saving up for an engagement ring. After a few years of barely making rent and being insanely in love with each other, my mom found out she was pregnant.

Two days later she told my dad. It also happened to be the same day my dad found out about a major opportunity that would lead to a career that would support them for the rest of their lives. He never told her that though, but he did tell her how happy he was. Six months into the pregnancy, my mom found out about the opportunity he passed up. She never told me how, but she did tell me that after she found out, they started arguing a lot. After I was born, their arguments got worse. When I was one, they ended up separating.

She blamed herself for our family falling apart. If she had let him go first that night, they wouldn't have ended up in that situation. He would have gotten an amazing job, and our family would be perfect. Sometimes I wonder if she might have had a chance to survive if my dad never left. I never intended to tell this story to anyone, but Lucas pushed me that night.

I'll always remember the words he used...

“I don't want to stay.”

* * *

“Aaron...” Lucas said.
“Just don't, Luke,” I said, “Just don't say it.”
“Look at me,” he said.

I turned around to face him and gazed into his loving eyes. He took my hand in his and took a deep breath as I felt my anxiety wash away in his soft touch.

“I get it,” he said, “I didn't before, but I understand now.”

He paused for a moment.

“I'll go if that's what you want me to do,” he said, “No questions asked.”
“And what if we... you know?” I asked.
“We won't,” he said, “I'll make sure that doesn't happen.”
“How?” I asked.
“Well,” he said, “If there's a night where you feel like you can't be alone, then you just call me and I'll stay up all night with you on the phone. I'll call you every day when I get off work. I'll take the train up every weekend, and I'll leave my car here so you can drive down on the weekends I can't.”

A weak smile stretched across my face.

“And most important of all,” he said, “When your birthday comes around, I will drop everything to come see you if only for one day. There will never be a day you don't hear my voice. There will never be a day I don't tell you I love you, and how much I love you. And there will never be a single moment where you feel like our relationship is falling apart.”
“Do you promise that?” I asked.
“Of course I do,” he said, “I love you too much to let you go, Aaron.”
“I love you, too,” I said as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and embraced me with the strength of a gorilla.

When he pulled away, he smiled and kissed me on the cheek. A smile forced itself on my face and I could see the relief in his eyes. I crawled back up to him and collapsed beside him. He had pulled his pants back on by now, but his shirt was still off. I played with the small wisps of hair on his chest until his phone started going off. I didn't have to ask him to know it was Jonathan asking him out to a birthday lunch.

Part one of Cherilyn's surprise party plan: Get Lucas out of the apartment and keep him out for the whole day.

* * *

“So are you and Luke okay?” Lynn asked as we chatted on the phone.
“Yeah, it wasn't a big deal,” I said.
“So you guys are still on for dinner then?”
“Yeah of course,” I said.
“Good. And you're sure he's up to this?”
“Yeah,” I said, “His medication seems to be working. He hasn't had a panic attack all week.”
“Awesome, just be sure to keep him away from the apartment until 8,” she said, “I'm heading over there right now. Jonathan's got him distracted for the afternoon.”
“You're sure you can handle everything on your own?” I asked.
“I'm not alone, Carly and Mike are here too,” she said.
“Oh,” I said, “Okay, I was just wondering.”
“I'm okay, Aaron,” she said knowing what I was thinking about, “This has kept me pretty occupied.”
“If there's anything you need, Lynn, just call me,” I said, “And say 'Hi,' to Carly and Mike for me.”
“Will do,” she said, “See you at 8.”

* * *

Our perfect dinner at a local steakhouse ended with a perfect walk back to our apartment. It was ten minutes after 8 by the time we rounded the corner toward the complex. I was so happy that Lucas was finally feeling better. He was finally acting like his old self again. The nightmares had stopped and the anxiety was under control. He was dominant and strong again; the way he was when he kissed me that night in the courtyard. If the street lights weren't on, then I'm sure I would have been able to see my hunter as I was kissing my protector.

We walked up the steps, hand in hand and shoulder against shoulder. I had shivered on the way home and Lucas took off his sexy tan jacket and made me put it on. He said it looked a lot better on me and wanted me to wear it from now on. After everything I had done for him today, he thought it was the least he could do and wouldn't rest until I accepted it.

So there we were; standing outside our apartment staring into each others' eyes for a moment as the peace of the night washed over us. He slipped his arms inside the jacket around my sides and pulled me in for a nice tight hug.

“Thank you for my dinner,” he said, “And everything else.”
“Well thank you for being born 23 years ago today,” I said with a grin.
“You know you turn 23 in a few months, too, so don't even,” he said, rustling my hair.

Over the past couple months I had been letting my hair grow out a little more. I had spent my whole life with it cut super short with the exception of my bangs, which I liked to use to hide my eyes sometimes. Lucas said the longer hair made me look artsy and creative, but told me not to let it get too long and out of control. Right now it was starting to curl around my ears and my bangs were curling around my eyes; not super curly, just a slight curve. I had gotten that from my mom. Her hair was naturally wavy and would curl if she let it grow down to her shoulders.

“Yeah, well, unlike you,” I said running my hand through the hair on the back of his head, “I won't freak out too much about getting older.”
“I didn't freak out,” he said.
“You hid under your pillows, babe,” I said.
“Okay, maybe a little,” he said.

He sighed and looked back into my eyes. His cheeks were starting to turn a little pink from the cold outside. Being near the ocean made for really cold nights, and there was an extra chill tonight. I almost felt bad taking Luke's jacket from him, but his body temperature is naturally warmer and I knew he wouldn't mind the cold too much.

I took his hand in mine and ran my thumb across his knuckles. I looked up at him and smiled with content as things were finally returning to normal after everything that had happened to us recently. I almost forgot that Lucas was going to be leaving in just over two months... almost. But I knew he was going to keep his promise. He never made a promise he couldn't keep.

“Well, birthday boy,” I said, “Are you ready for this day to be over?”
“More than you know,” he said, “But by my watch I've got about 4 hours of this day left.”
“You're right,” I said pushing the door open.

We stepped into the dark kitchen together and I shut the door behind us. When I flipped on the lights, I made sure I had a good angle to see Lucas's face.

“SURPRISE!”

I was a little surprised myself. There were banners, streamers, balloons, and rose petals all over. But what surprised me more was that everyone was here. And I mean everyone. Kyle, Anne, and Gary were all behind the couch as Gina and the twins jumped out from the hallway with a plethora of Lucas's friends from class. Even Jackie and her daughters showed up, but what was more impressive was that they were smiling.

There was Kelsey, Cherilyn, Jonathan, Henry, Carly, Mike, and Nick by the stereo system Cherilyn had rented for the night. Lucas's grandmother was even there by the drinks. It was a gathering of the people that were most important to Lucas, save for a few people who couldn't make it. He rushed over to his family and hugged them all and made lunch plans with Gina the next day. When he came back to Cherilyn and I, as we watched him light up with joy, he grabbed Cherilyn in a hug and lifted her up in the air.

“I can't believe you did all of this,” he said.
“Well, it wasn't all me,” she said.
“It was mostly you,” Carly said from the appetizer table.
“Well, I had a little help,” she said as she walked over to Carly and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, “Isn't that right new best friend?”
“New best friend?” I asked with a surprised tone.
“Oh, don't worry,” Carly said, “You boys will always be our respective best friends but, I mean come on a girl needs a break from all the penis you guys got goin’ on.”
“Carly, have you been drinking?” I asked.
“I'm not drunk,” she said smiling, “But that can change in a few minutes.”

She walked away toward the drinks, grabbing Mike's ass on the way over. Lucas gave me an equally big hug as Cherilyn left to go mingle with the crowd.

“I knew by the way,” he said.
“Aww, really?” I asked, disappointed.
“Yeah,” he said, “You and Cherilyn aren't great at keeping secrets.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, “I'm so great at keeping secrets even I didn't know I was gay.”
“Yeah, but I did,” he said, “And so did Carly... so you're not as great as you think you are.”
“Well, shit,” I said, “How did you find out?”
“I figured it out when Jonathan called. Wanted to hang out after lunch and when I told him I was going out to dinner with you later he told me to bring what I was wearing and change there. I figured you guys were up to something.”
“Well, damn,” I said.
“If it helps,” he said wrapping his arms around my waist, “I still love you for doing it.”
“It helps a little,” I said, smiling.
“And you're definitely my best friend on top of everything else,” he said, “I mean as long as Cherilyn and Carly are gonna dump us like that. Who better to pick as my new best friend?”
I lifted up his left hand and raised an eyebrow.
“Please, Aaron,” he said, “I hardly ever do that anymore.”
“Twice, yesterday,” I said grinning.
“Fuck...” he said, “How did you know?”
“Turns out you're not so great at keeping secrets either.”

Cherilyn came over and gave us some champagne glasses and stood up on a stool to get everyone's attention. It wasn't going well, so I plugged my ears since I knew what Lucas was about to do. He put his thumb and middle finger in between his lips and let out a sharp, high pitched whistle that made everyone turn their heads toward us.

“Thanks, Luke,” she said.
“No prob, babe,” he said, smirking at her.
“Okay, I'd like to give a toast,” she said, “To Lucas. You were born twenty three years ago today.”
“Thanks for that,” he said, taking a drink as I rubbed his shoulder.
“Sorry,” she said, “Forgot you were sensitive about that.”
“Yeah,” I said, “Just a little.”
“Well, anyway… every single person is in this room right now because you've somehow managed to touch all their lives. You've brought them all together tonight with your compassion and energy. We all love you, Lucas Harper, and you better not change, because if we had more people like you in this world, then we'd all be in pretty good shape.”
“Thanks,” he said, “That was really sweet.”

Cherilyn stepped off the stool and locked Lucas in a giant bear hug. After that I waved to Carly and Mike and they disappeared into the hallway. The lights went low and they came back pushing a wheeled table with a very large cake sitting on it. Chocolate frosting with white frosting lining the edges and a set of candles shaped like a twenty-three sitting on top. The room went silent and all that could be heard was Carly and Mike singing “Happy Birthday.” The rest of the party soon joined in as the cake approached Lucas.

With tears in his eyes he grabbed my hand and kissed my cheek. He turned back to the crowd and when the song was finished, he took a deep breath to make his wish, and blew the candles out with ease. Everyone clapped and cheered when the lights came back on. The cake was cut and dispersed throughout the party.

A couple hours later, the party started breaking up. By 11:30, the only people left were Carly, Mike, Cherilyn and Sean who had to show up a little later and missed the cake and the toast. Lucas was falling asleep on the couch with me sitting on the ground between his legs. Carly and Mike were feeding each other cake and Sean was helping Cherilyn clean up in the kitchen.

With Cherilyn on cleanup duty, I dragged Lucas into the bedroom and helped him change into his pajamas. When he was safely secured beneath the bedsheets, I cracked the window open to let in a little fresh air and went back out into the kitchen to see if Cherilyn wanted any help. I took one more quick look at my boy and smiled as he moved around in his sleep. Seeing him finally getting multiple nights of restful sleep made a wave of warmth wash over my heart.

“I love you, babe,” I whispered into the darkness.

I turned and walked down the hall, smiling at the thought of my boy being happy again. But when I reached the end of the hallway, I heard a voice. A voice that froze me in my spot.

“I'm sorry,” Cherilyn said, “But he's getting ready for bed right now.”
“Please, I just need to see him real quick,” the voice said.

It was a voice I hadn't heard in years; a voice I never wanted to hear again.

“Dad?” I asked.

The man in the doorway looked past Cherilyn and directly at me. He looked exactly like me, only older.

“Aaron...” he said.
“What the fuck are you doing here?!”

We stood there, eyes engaged with each other; hate boiling under my blood and filling my eyes to the surface.

 

[Kyanimal]

WOW! Just WOW!! Excellent chapter, ITC!!

THANK YOU! for all that you're writing!!

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[pe_gay89]

Uh-oh. Trust dads to bring you down, eh?

Great chapter, ITC.

 

[Craiger]

That was extremely romantic, ITC. It's good to know that Lucas has accepted the help from Veronica and the nightmares are no longer. It's also good that Aaron has finally explained his anxiety concerning his father. So much can be cleared up in peoples lives when the are open and honest with themselves as well as with other. Now there is the looming problem of Aaron's father reappearing. This doesn't bode well.... Great chapter and well worth the little hiatus.

Craiger

 

[DonQuixote]

ITC,
Welcome back, and thanks for such an in depth look at Aaron and Lucas' lives, once again.

The love you exude in your writing is palpable.
I can feel myself near them, experiencing their lives.

Aaron's dad appearing after all these years.
Why is he there?
I know the initial reaction is he's spoiling what was supposed to be Lucas and Aaron's perfect day, but I have to believe the outcome is going to be anything but bad.

I guess that's the eternal optimist in me.
We'll just have to wait and see.

 

[akahia]

http://www.headshift.com/assets/blog/seal-of-approval.jpg

 

[inthecloset]

http://www.headshift.com/assets/blog/seal-of-approval.jpg

HAHAHAHA!

I think I love you :3

 

[sheep]

Congratulations on coming out.

 

[Jchanas]

ITC, great story bro. i had to join JUB to write this comment about how great your story was. i tried reading this all in one day at my university but it was hard, with my friends and other students around and me not being out of the closet. i wish i could find a guy like Luke

 

[inthecloset]

Just thought I'd give you guys a quick update:

Next chapter is done and sent to my editor. Should be up by the weekend depending on how his schedule is.

Much Love,
- ITC

 

[inthecloset]

Wings of A Butterfly

Chapter Twenty-Seven:
Daddy Dearest ​

“Dad?” I asked.

The man in the doorway looked past Cherilyn and directly at me. He looked exactly like me, only older.

“Aaron...” he said.
“What the fuck are you doing here?!”

Cherilyn looked from me to him and started sneaking past him through the doorway.

“I'll come back in the morning,” she said.

She closed the door behind her and left the two of us alone. I glared at his eyes and tried my best to make his head explode with my mind. He looked defeated and tired; he definitely hadn't been taking care of himself for a while.

“Aaron I'm-”
“Get out,” I said sternly.
“Aaron please, I just want-”
“You just want what? Forgiveness?”
“No... please,” he struggled to speak for a moment, “I just want to talk to you about something,”

I stood there in silence trying to read him. The pleading in his voice sounded real enough, but what really got me was the pleading in his eyes. I could see he was desperate for something. I didn't really care what he wanted though; I just wanted him to leave.

“Fine, just not here,” I said, “Not now.”
“Okay,” he said, “I'll be at the diner at the end of the block tomorrow at 11:00.”

He turned slowly toward the door and opened it gently. With one foot outside he turned back to me and looked me dead in the eye.

“I hope you come,” he said.

And with that, he walked out the door. I felt arms come around my waist from behind and the familiar scent of the greatest guy in the world washed over me. I relaxed in his arms and sighed a breath of relief. His arms made me feel safe and practically squeezed the tension and anger out of my body completely.

“Everything okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said, “I take it you heard that.”
“Everything after Cherilyn left,” he said.
“What do I do Luke?” I asked as I turned around to face him.
“I can't answer that for you Aaron,” he said softly, “But I think we both know what you're going to do anyway.”
“And what's that?” I asked, knowing full well what he was about to say.
“You're gonna go tomorrow,” he said, “And you're going to find out what he wants. And you're going to be civil about it the entire time.”

He was right. We both knew that no matter what, there was this masochistic part of me that couldn't help but forgive people; or at least wanted to forgive people. We both knew that I would go to that diner tomorrow and talk to my father, despite the way I felt about him or what I went through because he left. If there was ever a moment I doubted the connection between Lucas and I, this moment invalidated every single one of them. He knew me better than I knew myself, and the way he proved that was what was able to calm me down that night.

He took my hand when I smiled at him and acknowledged what he had said. Together, we went back into the bedroom. His arms instantly went around me the moment I was nestled under the covers. He buried his face in my neck and gently kissed my collarbone several times before falling asleep again. I lay there awake for a couple hours mulling things over in my head. But mostly, what kept me awake was the thought of what my mom would have said if my dad ever came back.

* * *

I took a deep breath as the clock on the wall neared 11:20. Lucas was probably already sitting in a booth with Carly at the diner I was supposed to meet my dad at. It was Carly's idea for them to be there in case I needed backup and make sure I didn't lose my head. I was a little annoyed that she thought I might need it, but still thanked her for the offer. I felt bad that Luke had to cancel his plans with Aunt Gina, but I was happy he would be there.

I stood from the couch, took another deep breath, grabbed my wallet off the counter and headed for the door. With a knot in my gut, I turned the handle and stepped into the warming weather of March. There were blossoms on the trees and wildflowers on the sides of the roads. The scent of various flowers filled the air and gave a nice Spring feeling to the day. It wasn't a long walk to the end of the block; only took about five minutes.

I looked into one of the windows to see Lucas and Carly holding menus and having a conversation with each other. My guess is that they were talking about the wedding. That's all Carly could talk about lately. I didn't blame her though, after all it was only a few months away. I took a final deep breath as I reached for the door handle of the diner when I felt a familiar feeling wash over me.

It wasn't an emotion, it was the feeling of being near someone you care about. It was like an echo in my heart that reached out to my mind and made me feel my mother's presence. I smiled before I really thought about it and felt like she was watching over me.

“Please get me through this Mom,” I whispered to myself as I pulled the door open and stepped inside. I saw my dad sitting at the booth across the room from Lucas and Carly and went to sit with him.

“I'm glad you came,” he said with a weak smile.
“You have five minutes,” I said sternly.
“Well then I guess I'll get right to the point,” he said.
“That would be best.”
He took in a deep breath and began, “Aaron, I heard about your mother almost a year ago. I've spent most of the time since then trying to track you down.”
“How did you find me?” I asked.
“That's not important right now,” he said.
“Fair enough,” I said, “Continue.”
“Well,” he said, “I wanted to find you because well...”
He paused for a moment.
“What?” I asked.
“For you to understand this you need to know something,” he said.
“I'm listening,” I said.
“I never stopped loving your mom,” he said, “Even after we separated, there was a part of me that always loved her. I never wanted to leave her... or you.”
“Then why did you?” I asked.
“She made me leave Aaron,” he said, “When you were born, we were fighting all the time. And one night, a few months before your second birthday, we had a big one. We both said a lot of things we didn't mean, and I told her I wished I never fell in love with her and... that I wished she never told me she was pregnant.”
He looked up to me and I made a facial expression that told him to continue.
“She kicked me out,” he said, “And a month later I met Ruby. I fell for her fast and she promised to take me away from all the mistakes I had made.”

I sat there listening to his story, but there was still something I didn't understand. The last words he said to me had always bothered me. And based on his story, he didn't even mean them.

“You told me you didn't want to stay,” I said.
“What?” he asked.
“When you left,” I said, “The last thing you said to me was that you didn't want to stay.”
“That's partially true Aaron,” he said, “But I said that because I knew you were going to blame someone for me leaving. I said the only thing I could to make sure that person wasn't your mother. You were all she had left.”
“Okay,” I said, “So then what do you want?”
“There's something that belonged to your mother,” he said, “She and I bought it at a yard sale shortly after we moved in together. It was one of the first things we owned together and it holds a lot of sentimental value.”
“What is it?” I asked.
“It's an old antique cedar chest,” he said as a smile crossed his lips, “We bought it because it had dolphins engraved on it. She always loved dolphins...”

He was trying to hold back tears now. I could tell they were genuine, because no one could fake the pain in his eyes. But there was guilt in them too. Maybe he felt guilty about leaving my mom, or about her death. I couldn't tell what he was really guilty of, but I still found it hard to trust the man right away.

“I know what you're talking about,” I said, “It's in my bedroom.”
“Look Aaron,” he said taking a deep breath, “I know you have no reason to trust me.”
He's a frickin mind reader for sure.
“I just want you to believe that I am human, and that your mother and I were once very much in love,” he said, “I know you probably think of me as a monster because of everything you've been through.”
“You don't know what I've been through,” I said flatly.
“And that's my fault,” he said, “But I would really like it if you could tell me what to do to get you to forgive me.”

I looked past him for a moment and got lost in my thoughts. I knew there was something I could say that would test his intentions. I looked over to Luke and Carly who were not so subtly watching the two of us. I nodded to them once and smiled.

“See that guy over there,” I said motioning my head to the right.
“The blonde one?” he asked.
“Mhm,” I said.
“What about him?” he asked.
“That's Lucas,” I said, “And the girl he's with is Carly. They're here to watch us and make sure I don't get in any kind of trouble.”
“You brought backup?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said.
“You're smart Aaron,” he said, “I like that.”
“Actually it was Carly's idea,” I said, “But that's not the point. Lucas is my boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend?” he asked raising an eyebrow.
“Yup,” I said.
“Boyfriend,” he said looking back at Lucas.
“That's right,” I said.
“Well,” he said, “At least he's good looking. Good job son.”

I stared at him in shock. I had seriously expected him to freak out at least a little bit. He looked back at me and saw the look on my face and smiled.

“Aaron, I'm in no position to judge you for your life,” he said.
“Okay,” I said, still stunned, “Well then I guess I'll just need a day or two.”
“For what?” he asked.
“I'll think about what you said,” I said, “But would you like to have dinner with me and Lucas tomorrow night?”
“Seriously?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said, “This doesn't mean you're forgiven though.”
“Baby steps are fine with me Aaron,” he said with a smile, “I'd be happy to meet him.”

* * *

I was tying my tie in the mirror and Lucas was adjusting his hair behind me. I smiled every time I caught his eyes staring at my reflection. I was having trouble fixing my tie so he spun me around and tied it for me. When he pulled it through the final loop and tightened it around my neck, he kissed my lips softly and smiled back at me.

I smiled at him as well, though I knew he could tell how nervous I was. His hands went from my tie to my shoulders and he took me into a gentle hug and kissed my forehead. I almost fell apart in his arms from the overwhelming emotional wreckage that was sweeping over me... almost. I was able to maintain my composure and keep from losing control of the situation. I never realized how not having control over something made me freak out before today.

“You sure you want to go through with this?” he whispered into my ear.
“I have to Luke,” I said.
“No you don't,” he said, “We don't have to do anything. You don't owe him anything.”
“I know,” I said, “But I need to do this for myself.”
“Why?” he asked, “I don't get it. After everything he's missed, why do you need to do this?”
“Don't judge me please...” I said.
“Depends on what you're about to say.”
“Call me crazy, but the way he was talking earlier... I think he might actually be interested in creating a relationship,” I said.

He sighed heavily at that and hugged me again. My arms went around his back and held on tightly to him, squeezing his body into mine. When I finally released, he looked me in the eyes and tried to give me a genuine smile, but I could tell it was forced. He took my hands in his and kept staring into my eyes, making sure I could see him as he saw me.

We sat there for a moment as I felt him probing for answers in my eyes. I don't know what exactly he was looking for, but I kept my strength and told him with my eyes how serious I was about needing to go through with this.

“Okay Aaron,” he said, “If you have to do this, I'll go with it.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“But I would regret it if I didn't say this,” he said.
“Say what?” I asked.
“Something about his story bothers me.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.

I really didn't know what he meant until he told me. I almost wish he didn't tell me to be brutally honest. It could have saved us both a lot of trouble...

“He spent over a year trying to find you so he could get an old piece of furniture?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said.
“It just sounds fishy to me.”
“Why?”
“Well,” he said, “You didn't hear from the man for what, fifteen years? And now all of a sudden he shows up looking for an old hunk of wood?”
“What are you trying to say Luke?” I asked.
“He didn't come looking for his son,” he said, “This piece of furniture is the thing that brings him around after twenty years.”

He wasn't asking anymore. He was stating facts... facts I didn't want to hear.

“What if he came for both?” I asked.
“Did he tell you that?” he asked.
“No,” I said, “But maybe he didn't want to risk stepping on my toes.”
“He did that by showing up here unannounced.”
“Lucas I don't want to talk about this right now,” I said.
“Aaron I just want you to hear me,” he said.
“I hear you Luke,” I said, “But can't you wait until after dinner to pass your judgments?”
“Sorry,” he said with downcast eyes.

I realized how sharp my tongue was as soon as those words came out of my mouth and immediately felt bad. But Luke had clearly accepted the fact that he was pushing me too far and he pulled me into another hug to try and calm me down. I couldn't stay mad at him for even a whole minute before he reminded me of how amazing he was. There was never a moment where he stopped trying to win me over. Every day was like a first date with him and this moment was no exception.

He held me close to him and while he satisfied every sense of mine, he whispered in my ear how much he loved me and that he was sorry for the things he said. But regardless of whether or not he was sorry for them, the genie was out of the bottle. It didn't take long for the doubts to start screaming in my head. Throughout dinner, I was consistently questioning one thing.

What if he's right...

* * *

A few days passed after we had dinner together. Dad was incredibly charming and welcomed both Lucas and I with open arms. The entire night was very comfortable for me and it was almost as if we had known each other for years. Lucas was a different story though. He was watching Dad's every move like a hawk guarding it's eggs. I could tell he was waiting for some inconsistency to prove his fears to be right. But that moment never came and I was convinced that Dad was being a hundred percent genuine.

When we got back home, Lucas kept his comments to himself. I could tell he had comments though. He had some avoidance to the subject when I asked him and he quickly changed it or stopped talking altogether. I wished he would tell me what was on my mind, but I knew what he was wanting to say and was glad he didn't. The following days were very uncomfortable with Lucas, but the rain cleared up eventually and Lucas was starting to act like his normal self again.

My afternoon class happened to be canceled on the first bright and sunny day in weeks so I called Dad up and asked him if he was interested in hanging out for a bit. We met at the park by the large fountain with a hug. I don't know why I was able to open up to him so easily, but it felt like we had known each other our entire lives. We started walking around and talking to each other and Lucas ended up being the topic of discussion.

“He didn't seem very friendly towards me,” he said.
“He's just protective of me,” I said, “He doesn't really trust you.”
“I didn't think he would,” he said, “I honestly didn't think you would.”
“I know,” I said, “I'm still trying to decide if I can or not... but it's getting harder and harder not to.”
“Well that's good to hear,” he said.

There was a pause between us for a few minutes. I honestly didn't know what to say, but I could tell there was something on his mind; just like I could tell something was on Luke's mind. The difference was, I felt like I could actually talk to him about it...

“Something bothering you?” I asked.
“Well,” he said, “This wasn't part of my plan Aaron.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I honestly didn't think I'd be able to get this connected with you. I just expected you would do whatever it took to get rid of me as fast as possible. I dunno, I guess it just feels like we're actually family.”
“Yeah, I feel the same way,” I said.

We stopped walking and smiled at each other. We were at the end of the block now, close to my apartment. I knew the answer I wanted to give him now, but I was afraid if he got what he wanted, he'd just take it and go. He had his own life somewhere else in the world and I knew he had to go back to it sooner or later. I sighed heavily and looked him in the eye.

“Okay,” I said, “You can have the chest if you still want it.”
“What?” he asked, a smile spreading across his face.
“I can't really say anything else. I mean, I trust you enough to believe that you want it for the reasons you said.”
“Really?” he asked, “Thanks Aaron.”
“No problem,” I said, “Do you want to come over and get it today?”
“Yeah sure,” he said, “Let's go get my truck.”
“Wait,” I said as I grabbed his arm, “I just want you to know... even if you leave after this, I'm glad you came. I feel like... I actually have a father now.”
“Thanks Aaron,” he said smiling, “But I think I'll stick around for a few more days if you don't mind.”
“Seriously?” I asked.
“Of course,” he said, “How many chances am I gonna have to spend time with my son?”

* * *

When we pulled up to the parking space in front of the apartment building, I didn't know what I was feeling more. There was a shaking feeling in my hands from the thought of giving up something that reminded me of my mother, but I have several things for that anyway. There was an uneasy feeling in my gut thinking about my dad being a part of my life, but I still wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not yet. Trusting him is one thing; being his son is a whole different thought.

But most of all there was the voice in the back of my head. I hadn't heard it at all since Lucas first kissed me. But now it was creeping into my mind and bringing up a bunch of questions to me. I tried as hard as I could to push them out of my thoughts, but they started getting louder as time progressed. Dad noticed I was getting quiet and tried to ask me a few questions.

“So how did you meet Lucas?” he asked.
“We literally ran into each other one day,” I said.
“And what? Love at first thunk?” he asked.
“No,” I said with a chuckle, “Nothing like that. We just kinda clicked and started hanging out a bit. It was actually a project for class.”
“You were in a class with this guy and you never met him?”
“Well to be fair, it was a big class and I wasn't very social when I met him.”
“Why not?” he asked.

We got out of the truck and pulled out the large box Dad bought to put the chest into. I pulled the bubble-wrap out of the back seat and met him at the tailgate.

“I just wasn't,” I said, avoiding the chance to bring up Mom.
“Okay so how did you guys end up in the sack together?” he asked.
“Dad...” I said.
“What I'm just curious,” he said.

I took a moment and thought really hard about the next words I wanted to say. I knew the moment I fell for Lucas, and I knew the moment he showed me what it was like to be loved... but I didn't know the exact moment he changed me. We climbed the stairs together and went straight to the bedroom to wrap the chest and push it into the box. As we lifted the box up and carried it out, the words finally came to me. It may not have been the deepest thing I've ever said, but it was exactly what I felt about Lucas and how he made me fall in love with him.

“He told me it was okay to be myself,” I said.
“I don't get it,” he said.
“It's okay,” I said, “Just know he makes me happy.”
“I know,” he said, “I can see that.”

We loaded the box into the back of the truck and strapped it down to keep it from moving around too much in the bed of the truck. He patted me on the back and smiled at me. I couldn't help but smile back at him. I don't know what it was that made me feel like I was on top of the world; maybe it was just the fact that I finally had family.

* * *

Lucas was on the couch watching TV as I was getting dressed in the bedroom. I hadn't told him I was meeting Dad for dinner yet; I didn't want to trigger whatever was bothering him the last few days. I buttoned my black over shirt halfway and fixed up my hair. For the first time since I was sixteen, I wore my hair out of my eyes. I brushed the bangs back behind my ears, but realized how dorky I looked. I walked over to the nightstand and pulled out a pair of scissors.

With little hesitation I chopped off the bangs that were so long they went past my eyelids. It was weirdly refreshing to see my eyes in the mirror without strands of hair clouding my vision. I grabbed my spray bottle and pushed what was left of my bangs up and spiked them into one point. With a smile on my face, I walked out into the living room.

Lucas looked directly at my hair and gasped.

“What happened to your bangs?” he asked.
“I got rid of them,” I said.

He got up and slipped his arms around my waist.

“Why?” he asked with a disappointed tone, “I liked them.”
“I was just sick of them,” I said, “Does it look bad or something?”
“Oh no,” he said with a smile, “It looks good.”

He kissed my cheek and corrected himself.

“You look good,” he said, “You always do.”
“Thanks,” I said pulling out of his grip and heading towards the door.
“Where you goin?” he asked.

I stopped in my tracks and turned toward him. I didn't want to lie to Lucas and I knew I wouldn't be able to if I tried. So I just clenched my toes and spat it out.

“I'm going to dinner with my Dad,” I said.
“Oh,” he said.
“Is that a problem?” I asked.
“No,” he said, “Not at all.”
“You're mad,” I said with a sigh.
“No I'm not,” he said, “You should go.”

He went and sat back down on the couch and turned his attention back to the TV. I sighed and walked over to him. I stood in his line of sight and forced him to look at me.

“Come on Luke, don't do this to me.”
“Do what?” he asked.
“You've been acting like this for the past few days,” I said, “If you have something to say then say it.”

He stood up and took my hands in his. His eyes found mine and he took a deep breath.

“How well do you know him?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, how much has he actually told you?”

I thought about it for a moment, but I couldn't answer.

“That's what I thought,” he said, “He hasn't told you anything about where he's been, what he's been doing, or what his life has been like these past twenty years.”
“I didn't ask,” I said, “And even if I did, I'm sure he has a good reason for not telling me.”
“Yeah I bet he does,” he said.
“What is your problem Lucas?!” I yelled.
“I just don't understand the blind faith you have in the man!” It hurt my ears to hear his voice that loud, but I think it hurt my heart even more.
“It's called being a good son!”
“To a father who doesn't deserve one!” he yelled.

After that we were both silent for a moment. We were angry with each other, but we could both see how hurt the other was at the same time. I also knew he could see how angry I was getting, but that didn't stop him from doing what he did next.

“Here,” he said handing me a piece of paper.
“What's this?” I asked.
“I still didn't trust him after dinner,” he said, “So I had Kyle do some research on the chest.”

I opened the piece of paper and started reading. It was an advertisement searching for the chest printed out from an antique collector's site.

“Apparently that piece is part a one of a kind collection made in the Civil War era,” he said, “It was accidentally put up for auction when it was taken as evidence from a crime scene fifty years ago. This man tracked it down to your father and is offering him fifteen thousand dollars for it.”
“I don't believe this,” I said.
“He used you Aaron,” he said.
“No,” I said, “He can't... he said...”
“Aaron, he lied,” he said.

I stood there in disbelief. Dad told me he wanted to stay for a while... he said he wanted to see me. He said he wanted to be here for me. I couldn't believe what Lucas was saying.

“Lucas how many parents have you lost?” I asked calmly.
“Aaron...” he said with a defeatist attitude.
“You have no idea how it feels when one of them comes back,” I said, “My dad was gone and my mom was working so much I barely saw her. I barely had enough pieces of a parent to make one whole one.”
“Aaron please,” he said.
“No,” I said, “You need to hear this.”

His lips moved to make words, but he stopped them and stood there silently. I stepped toward him and he flinched a bit.

“You grew up with a family that loved you and cared for you,” I said, “I never had that. I only had one person and she left me with a hole in my gut and no one around to help me. So you have no idea how this feels; to finally have someone who calls themselves your family.”

He looked at me with hurt eyes. I could see that what I was saying wasn't fair to him, but it was the only thing I could say to make him understand.

“Dad told me he wanted to stay here and get to know me,” I said, “And I believe him. I don't care if you don't.”
“Aaron stop-”
“No,” I said as I turned toward the door, “I'm going to see my dad and I don't care what you say.”

I opened the door and slammed it on my way out. I walked out into the night and let the cool wind wash over me as the warm tears slid from my face.

 

[gaytxn09]

I think I'm going to cry if Aaron's dad doesn't show. Though...it's looking like he won't. :-(

 

[pe_gay89]

Aw poor Aaron... I hope his dad shows. Either way, I think Aaron and Luke are in for a bumpy road for a little bit. Only mildly bumpy though.

 

[Craiger]

Now that was a really potent chapter, ITC. Aaron may have a disappointment staring him in the face. However, the closeness that he and his dad seem to have established could prove me wrong. Lucas has been able to look more objectively at the situation as the emotional happenings have had no effect on him. The only effect has been to be protective of Aaron and that appears to have backfired for now. I wonder if Aaron is so trusting because in a short time he will be left without Lucas and is in hopes "family" will help him survive. Just thinking.... Great job.

Craiger

 

[inthecloset]

Did I lose a bunch of people with that one?

 

[Craiger]

Hey ITC

I don't think so. You know some people read and don't respond. You left it in a place where, I am sure, they are waiting for that other proverbial shoe to drop. You keep the suspense high and we can't wait to read more.

Craiger

 

[DonQuixote]

ITC,
I just saw the update. I'm nost sure why I missed it the first time.

HEAVY! I have a very bad feeling about this.
I have to agree with Lucas' analysis of the situation, and hope that I'm wrong.

Your writing is as powerful as ever, ITC.

Sorry I missed the update when you posted it!

 

[sheep]

The problem is you left me speechless. I don't think this is going to be good