Worried after first experience with a guy

[22mcut]

Hi,

First time poster here so go easy on me

Let me start by saying that I am a worrier. I sometimes get physically ill with worry over the stupidest of things. I am a bi/curious 23 year old guy who is a virgin.

Last night I went to a bar with my friends and met a really hot guy. We went back to his place and started some mutual j/o. I let him suck me but I just played with his dick.

Am I at risk of catching an STD or HIV? I guess oral is a pretty low risk activity, but he was jerking himself and then playing with me with the same hand.

I hope this makes sense. He assured me that he was d/d free.

I'm pretty sure the only way I am going to put my mind at ease is to get tested. How long do I need to wait before I can do this?

Thank you,
J.

 

[DON55]

Hate to burst your bubble (but), if you let him suck you...you are really no longer a virgin. Life is full of risks...get tested if you feel you must, but don't overthink this.

 

[boredman321]

well i am n ot sure about all of the STD's but i know they say to wait atleast 3 months before getting tested for HIV/AIDS

 

[22mcut]

Thanks for the advice guys. I know I am worrying too much about it but nice to get some reassurance.

 

[KaraBulut]

Hi,
We went back to his place and started some mutual j/o. I let him suck me but I just played with his dick.

Am I at risk of catching an STD or HIV? I guess oral is a pretty low risk activity, but he was jerking himself and then playing with me with the same hand.

The activities that the two of you did fall into the lowest of risk sexually-transmitted disease categories for you since you did nothing that involved exchanging body fluids. Your risk is higher for catching a cold or the flu than for catching an STD.

I hope this makes sense. He assured me that he was d/d free.

Your mother told you to never take candy from strangers? Add to that, "Never believe anyone who claims to be drug and disease free". Guys will lie like dogs to get in your pants (and half the time, they probably don't even know that they have an STD).

Congrats on your new explorations. Just continue to play safe and you'll be fine.

 

[alley]

As a newly sexually active guy like myself, you should get into the habit of regular testing--it really will help settle your fears-- and talk to your Doc about the hep vaccine.

 

[22mcut]

Some good advice there guys. Thanks a lot

 

[22mcut]

Hi guys,

I went to a men's health clinic today and talked to a doctor about it. He explained that oral sex does have risks but is one of the lower-risk activities. He informed me of the different STDs I could have contracted, and the treatments for each.

To put my mind at ease I am going to get tested in a few weeks.

Thanks again,
J.

 

[studyjock999]

you should be fine; i'm a doctor...and oral activity is low risk because our saliva can naturally fight off various organisms including HIV

 

[DotComGuy]

Sex expert Sue Johanson said to not brush your teeth before oral sex because you may unknowingly create a small 'abrasion' in the skin and a way for HIV to be transmitted

 

[22mcut]

Guys,

Thanks for all your replies so far.

Since the morning after this experience the head of my penis has been sore. I have a burning sensation at the tip of my penis around the urethra. The same feeling continues when I pee but I don't feel pain further down the urethra at any time.

I also have an occasional clear discharge that looks and has the texture of pre-cum. However, this appears at random times and has nothing to do with being aroused.

We did use some sort of beauty product as lube so I am thinking this could be the source of the irritation. Am I right in thinking that there is no way an STD could show up the morning after sexual contact?

Thanks again,
J.

 

[KaraBulut]

Guys,
We did use some sort of beauty product as lube so I am thinking this could be the source of the irritation. Am I right in thinking that there is no way an STD could show up the morning after sexual contact?

Most bacterial STDs that would produce this type of discharge take 3-7 days to show symptoms.

If the "beauty product" were introduced into your urethra, it could cause irritation and a burning sensation. However, this will resolve on its own after a day or two.

If the burning and discharge persist for more than 3-4 days, you should go to your doctor for an exam and a urethral swab.

 

[22mcut]

KaraBulut, thanks for the reply. The burning has been there since the day after the encounter, but the discharge (still very slight) only started yesterday. I am going to go back to the clinic tomorrow, as it's really starting to bother me at this stage.

Thanks again,
J.

 

[22mcut]

If in doubt, use flavored condoms.

You are right, I should have insisted on this in the first place.

 

[KaraBulut]

KaraBulut, thanks for the reply. The burning has been there since the day after the encounter, but the discharge (still very slight) only started yesterday. I am going to go back to the clinic tomorrow, as it's really starting to bother me at this stage.

Well, we always say to do whatever it takes to put your mind to rest. Let us know how it goes.

 

[thewiz]

Regular testing should be something on everyone's check list. I go every quarter and it is a good time to catch up with friends who work at the men's clinic here in DC as well as to make sure nothing is amiss. I just started dating someone and we are living together; we started by going together and getting tested.

Now for some things to think about. Never brush your teeth before giving head or rimming. When you brush your teeth, you probably notice that sometimes you cause bleeding. Well, an open cut is one way that HIV can enter and there's no use giving it a chance. Otherwise, oral is extremely low risk for the HIV transmission (most reports say next to impossible because the acid in our mouths and stomachs is one thing that kills the virus).

The one thing that is showing up is chlymidia and its cousin gonnherea. The problem with chlymidia is that often the person carrying has no knowledge of it. Recent studies show 7 to 10 percent of gay men when given throat and rectal swabs showed chlymidia infection but it did not show on the urine testing because, apparently, the urine killed enough of the bacteria in the urethra to show no result in the test.

For that reason, the gay men's clinic here in DC started doing throat and anal swabs along with the urine testing to find out if the studies were true. They are finding a number of guys who are testing with chlymidia in the throat swab but negative on the urine meaning they can give it to someone while giving head or rimming and never even be aware of it!

I have to say that this last test was the first time I've been "swabbed." When they suggested it, I thought maybe the guy (really cute and one I love to talk with both at events and when going to get tested) might must be checking us out! I offered to swab back and we all got a laugh! But after the explanation and talking with him and some other staffers, it made great sense to know all the parts was clean!

The good news is if infected, its a shot and seven days of antibiotics but it is a reason to get tested and make sure you and your partner are clean. I find that most guys who say they are clean then stammer when you ask when the last time they were tested. Some say months, some even a year or more! Well gonnherea usually shows up fairly quickly with discharge from the urethra and burning; chlymidia can be invisible with no symptoms so a year could see a lot of spread.

For HIV/syphillis, a blood test is the best because it produces a higher rate of certainty than the mouth swab. But even then you have to take a blood test and go back in three months because of the time for HIV to show up. The best prevention is a condom for HIV because there's no shot for fixing that....

My friend at the clinic did describe the shot for syphillis....sounds painful because it's a longer needle and in the butt and supposedly burns. I've never had it; don't want to find out because I hate shots! But with the blood test, you'll get your HIV and syphillis test results back in 20 minutes. If you want to pay and have a more extensive blood test, you can be 95% sure you are negative but it is better to go back every quarter -- a good habit and probably more certainty.

The advice for betting the hepititis vaccine is excellent. You'll need three shots but you'll be protected from A and B which are most common. Hepititis C is deadly but if there is a "good" thing to it, it requires transmission by blood so during sex, transmission is very low (again, a condom if you are going to do anal). The vaccine isn't just for gay sex but is also good if you travel and could be exposed.

The burning in your urethra could be something as innocuous as a regular infection or irritation. Did he have a tongue ring or stud? I had a guy give me head once who had a tongue piercing and he used it on the urethra opening. It felt great but I was sore as hell for several days after! I know when I used Pjur lube, it irritated my urethra as well as anal area. Apparently I have sensitive skin and fell asleep in his arms; just have to remember to get it all off.

It's always good to be aware of changes in one's body. Checking for sexual transmitted diseases, skin cancers, and other issues is a great habit to get into!

 

[22mcut]

Thanks for all the advice guys. thewiz, your post was very informative.

I went to the clinic last Friday and they took a urine sample. The doctor said that on immediate inspection there was no mucus in my sample, so it didn't look like an STD. I will get the results back this Friday, hopefully.

The burning feeling at the tip of my penis has subsided quite a bit, but it is not completely gone. The only thing I can think of is the brand of lube used (it's called 'Wet') may have caused the irritation.

At this stage it's more of a dull sensation at the tip of the penis, and at times I feel like I need to pee very badly, although there is no discharge.

Our oral contact was very minimal (he gave me head for about 2 mins) so I really don't think it's an STD. However, we'll see when the results come back.

If the results come back clear on Friday, and the pain hasn't gone away I will go to a regular doctor and see what he/she says.

Thanks,
J.

 

[EvilForce]

My guess is the symptoms are in your head.

Relax and let it go. Now, before you go out again for sex think carefully about what your boundaries are, and then follow them.

I decided long ago that if I was going to get HIV from kissing and blowjobs, well then, so be it. But I accepted that certain things have a risk, and I mentally quantified those risks for myself, and set my boundaries. Some people choose not to hookup with strangers. Some insist on condoms even for blowjobs. Some throw caution to the wind and bareback. It is your body, your choice. By mentally deciding what you are ok with, and what you are not I believe will help erase this fear you have.

 

[22mcut]

EvilForce, I think that's the best piece of advice I've received in a long time. I think that people's minds can play tricks and make them believe whatever they want to.

Although I had wanted to hook up with a guy for quite a while, I was quite drunk and ended up hooking up with someone much older (I'm 23, he was 40) than I would normally be interested in.

In future, I will be much more cautious about my actions while drunk. It is some consolation that I refused to have anal sex with the guy, I obviously wan't THAT drunk, lol.

Thanks again.