Worried that my bf is wanking more than doing stuff with me

[11and11]

hi guys

i've been with my boyfriend for over a year now and we live together, but i'm worried that he jerks off when i'm not home and does less sexy stuff with me......

i won't go into detail, but there are signs that he has been wanking while i'm not home. i'm fine with that, i do it too and i think every man needs his own "special" time.
but he does not get horny as much with me and we don't have sex or anything nearly as much as we used to. its like as if he's bored of it or something.

he's not much of a talker when it comes to serious stuff so i don't know how to approach him about this, or if i even should.

is this normal?
is it bad?
what do i do??

 

[altlover85]

How much are you having sex and how much would you like to be having sex?

 

[11and11]

We don't ever really have anal sex (which is something I would also like to change) but we do stuff probably once a week.
but the thing is.. i feel like i have to force it out of him. like its a struggle to get him in the mood to do stuff with me.

 

[altlover85]

We don't ever really have anal sex (which is something I would also like to change) but we do stuff probably once a week.
but the thing is.. i feel like i have to force it out of him. like its a struggle to get him in the mood to do stuff with me.

Personally, I'm kind of fussy about anal sex and don't like to do it very often. Usually it's more of a special event type of thing due to the preparation it takes. So I can understand not wanting to do it that often.

My bf and I generally have sex once or twice a week. In the beginning we had sex more often, but we also saw each other less then, so with more time together we have less sex, if that makes sense.

How much sex did you have in the beginning of your relationship?

 

[11and11]

Personally, I'm kind of fussy about anal sex and don't like to do it very often. Usually it's more of a special event type of thing due to the preparation it takes. So I can understand not wanting to do it that often.

My bf and I generally have sex once or twice a week. In the beginning we had sex more often, but we also saw each other less then, so with more time together we have less sex, if that makes sense.

How much sex did you have in the beginning of your relationship?

i'm much the same when it comes to anal sex, i don't always want to have it, but we've only had it a few times since we've been together.

back when we didn't live together i would visit him for about 2-3 days a week and we'd fool around probably twice each stay. sometimes more.

i feel as if now we live together he's bored of me and i don't excite him anymore.

i'm going to try and talk to him about it. but like i said he's not much of a talker when it comes to things like this, which makes me worry more, so i don't know how effective it'll be.

 

[altlover85]

i'm much the same when it comes to anal sex, i don't always want to have it, but we've only had it a few times since we've been together.

back when we didn't live together i would visit him for about 2-3 days a week and we'd fool around probably twice each stay. sometimes more.

i feel as if now we live together he's bored of me and i don't excite him anymore.

i'm going to try and talk to him about it. but like i said he's not much of a talker when it comes to things like this, which makes me worry more, so i don't know how effective it'll be.

I would talk to him, but I wouldn't be too worried about him being bored with you. I think it might just be a natural adjustment period.

Sex can become less of a priority as we get over the novelty of being new to one another and have to deal with the rest of our lives.

If you do talk to him, you might say "I was wondering what you think about the amount of sex we are having" or something like that. Try not to be accusatory or put him on the defensive.

Good luck!

 

[11and11]

I would talk to him, but I wouldn't be too worried about him being bored with you. I think it might just be a natural adjustment period.

Sex can become less of a priority as we get over the novelty of being new to one another and have to deal with the rest of our lives.

If you do talk to him, you might say "I was wondering what you think about the amount of sex we are having" or something like that. Try not to be accusatory or put him on the defensive.

Good luck!

thank you i will take your advice.
i think maybe i do put too much on him when i have these talks, he probably feels like i'm blaming everything on him.

 

[anchihiro]

If you dont feel you can talk to him about the serious stuff, then you're relationship was never going to last.

He needs to give more, and be more considerate. But you have to chose your words wisely instead of putting 100% blame on him will only turn him away.

 

[Just_Believe18]

You need to find someone you are compatible sexually with. I don't understand why men fall in love with other guys with the understanding this guy is only going to top or isn't into anal sex when you are. You might be fine with it for the time being, but a lifetime partner means a lifetime of not finding that satisfaction if you keep the relationship monogamous.

Your boyfriend doesn't satisfy you, and prefers to satisfy himself. If you're down to once a week after only a year together, imagine what ten years is going to be like.

It's time for a serious discussion for change or a split.

 

[KaraBulut]

You've been together for a year. If you want better sex, you have to be able to talk about it. Leave out thepart about his private time with Mr Hand- he's entitled to enjoy himself when you're not around. Just talk to him, let him know what you want in a non-nagging way.

I mean, who wouldn't want their boyfriend to say, "I really want you to bend me over and fuck me"?

 

[HunterM]

You two sounds like a married couple for a long time. There are lots of books on how to spice up sex/romance for married couples. Steal some of their ideas. Come up with creative ways to seduce him...be playful...instead of trying to force it on him.