Would I be a pederast

[Level27]

...if I, a 20 1/2-year-old, made out with a guy who's 15 or 16 and perhaps caressed his pecs (or he caressed mine)? More importantly, would I be considered a pederast if we were boyfriends?

(For clarification, I'm not asking if it's disgusting, I'm asking if I'd be considered a pedophile)

 

[Críostóir]

In law, maybe. Depends on where. Around here, the difference between 15 and 16 is the difference between prison and freedom.

In psych, at worst you'd be an ephebophile (someone attracted to adolescents).

At this point in my live, anyone who's attracted to me is a gerontophile (just to fill out the set).

 

[Level27]

In law, maybe.

Do you mean at the nation-wide level?

At anyrate, why? I'm not even having sex with the guy.

Depends on where. Around here, the difference between 15 and 16 is the difference between prison and freedom.

Hmm. Do elaborate.

In psych, at worst you'd be an ephebophile (someone attracted to adolescents).

In t hat case, I'd be attracted to teenagers, not adolescents.

 

[Críostóir]

Um...most teenagers are adolescent. The ones that aren't generally need medical attention.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

No, I don't think so. Morally, I don't there's that much difference between 20/16 and 20/18, but for goodness sake, is it that hard to set a personal standard of 18 and above for your love objects? That way you don't even have to split hairs trying to determine if your're legal or ethical in this state or that, this country or that. 18 makes it simple. You're a grown man now, old enough to make some adult decisions and bound to get older still. This is a good day to put away childish things and let boys be boys, until they're ready to be men.

 

[Críostóir]

Babi, sometimes you just fall in love.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

I know, I believe in love and cuteness abounds. But, at some point and at some age, you have to set some standards on "cute" and say "One year out of grammar school is too 'cute' for comfort," then keep your hands to yourself. It's about exercising adult judgement over your emotions and hormones.

 

[Críostóir]

I know, I believe in love and cuteness abounds. But, at some point and at some age, you have to set some standards on "cute" and say "One year out of grammar school is too 'cute' for comfort," then keep your hands to yourself. It's about exercising adult judgement over your emotions and hormones.

So if two guys are dating, and one's 16 and the other's 17, and then they each have a birthday, the 18-year-old should "exercise adult judgement" and break it off?

I'm pretty sure you don't believe that.

And when I was one year out of grammar school I was 11. No one here is talking about 11-year-olds.

 

[Horschallen]

I usually prefer them to be above 18 AND out of high school... not one or the other, but both... however I happen to prefer men at least 30.

 

[StlKj]

Yes, you would most likely be termed as such, because it does not have to involve a sexual act, but merely a relationship of an erotic nature.

Of course, most people don't use that term--they would just call you a pedophile and not concern themselves with the details.

You are dancing on a very dangerous line, and for both your sakes, you should back away from that line.

Far away.

 

[Level27]

No, I don't think so. Morally, I don't there's that much difference between 20/16 and 20/18, but for goodness sake, is it that hard to set a personal standard of 18 and above for your love objects? That way you don't even have to split hairs trying to determine if your're legal or ethical in this state or that, this country or that. 18 makes it simple. You're a grown man now, old enough to make some adult decisions and bound to get older still. This is a good day to put away childish things and let boys be boys, until they're ready to be men.

BabiGayPimp, I can definitely appreciate your message, and to a degree, I agree with you. However, I'm not so much discussing pederasty from a legal standpoint than I am on from a cultural one. I should have mentioned that to Críostóir when I responded to his first reply.

I don't personally understand what a 15 or 16-year-old could offer in a relationship, but that's just me.

In Canada, you're fine if he's 16. I'm not sure where you're located.

In response to 1- I think it very well might just be you. I mean, what can a decent individual who happens to be age 15 or 16 not offer? But we are getting off-topic here.

In response to 2- I'm actually leaving legality out of the discussion. When I asked about pederasty, I was meaning from a cultural standpoint.

I usually prefer them to be above 18 AND out of high school... not one or the other, but both... however I happen to prefer men at least 30.

I'm sure many people do as well. It maybe due to a fear of the law or it could merely be a simple preference. But sorry, Horschallen. This has nothing to do with the topic at hand.

 

[Level27]

Yes, you would most likely be termed as such, because it does not have to involve a sexual act, but merely a relationship of an erotic nature.

I'm assuming that when you say erotic, you were referring to the tit caressing that I was mentioning. If you left that out and simply went with the kiss, would it still technically be considered pedophilia? I ask because a kiss could be either sexual or non-sexual.

You are dancing on a very dangerous line, and for both your sakes, you should back away from that line.

Far away.

Oh, I'm sure. Absolutely.

However, the point of this thread was meant to question conventional point of views. If we, as a group, decide that such action involving sexuality between a 20-year-old and a 16-year-old was not pedophilia/pederasty/out of line, who's to say that we should go along with the POV that created this dangerous line in the first place?

I might also mention that sometimes, the kiss between the two subjects maybe unavoidable. For example, if they were shooting a film that involves a romantic scene. Why there would be a 15-year-old in there in the first place could be because of any reason.

 

[StlKj]

Who is this "we" that would make up this group? Society? Gays? Adults who want to make out with teenagers?

One can always choose to rebel against what a society considers to be right--one just must be willing to live with the consequences and/or labels society imposes upon him for doing so.

 

[Level27]

One can always choose to rebel against what a society considers to be right--one just must be willing to live with the consequences and/or labels society imposes upon him for doing so.

(edited- Actually, there is something else.)

The point of fact, however, is that 'society' is made up by the voice of the majority, the majority doesn't always have their thoughts completely developed and may speak merely from its emotions; it is the one who created this conventional view (as I put it). The current culture and environment may influence these thoughts.

 

[StlKj]

Of course that is the case. And it's not likely that society is going to change its view on something like this any time soon.

 

[midnight81]

Killjoke, you're actually wrong. I don't know the specific laws, but I'm pretty sure that if he had sex with the 15/16 year old, he wouldn't be arrested for child molestation, he'd be arrested for statuatory rape. That wouldn't make him a pedophile, legally-speaking.

But Level, you're talking from a cultural standpoint and honestly I think it depends on the person you talk to (as you can see here). You have to think about it this way. You're 20, he's 16 (maybe 15). If you were a senior in high school, he'd probably be a Freshmen. That's not a bad age difference at all. I knew a few Freshmen when I was in high school who were dating seniors.

I don't think you need to worry about society labeling you a pederast. That term, from what I understand, is usually reserved for older men (who are AT LEAST above 25) who are sexually attracted to younger boys. Since you're basically in the same age group as this guy, I don't think it counts and I don't think it looks that bad. Especially if the guy is mature for his age.

My closest friend in the world is three years younger than me. She was still in high school when I was almost done with college. A lot can happen in your life in a short amount of time, especially in the time between high school and college, and you do need to watch what you do with him because of the law, but if you're just dating and waiting to be intimate until he's old enough to be legal for you...you have no need to worry about how you look. Because you'll just look like two kids who are into each other.

 

[StlKj]

Killjoke, you're actually wrong. I don't know the specific laws, but I'm pretty sure that if he had sex with the 15/16 year old, he wouldn't be arrested for child molestation, he'd be arrested for statuatory rape. That wouldn't make him a pedophile, legally-speaking.

I didn't say anything about legality. By the definition, a pederast has an erotic relationship with a younger boy. My point was that most people aren't familiar with that term--those who see his actions as wrong would simply call him a pedophile.

 

[KaraBulut]

Pedophilia refers to attraction to prepubescent children.

So, a 20 year old who made out with a 10 year old would be a pedophile.

A 20 year old who made out with a 15 year old would just be sad, but not a pedophile.

 

[Level27]

Do elaborate on why you believe it's sad, KaraBulut. (If you can make your explanation more than just one or two measly sentences, it would be much preferred).

Also, I'd like to ask: Would you think that an 17 and a 21-year-old making out is sad?

 

[giorgiobaby]

I have a friend who is now a registered sex offender, he was 18 and had sex with a 16 year old (both of them male), the 16 yr olds parents found out and had him arrested for molestation. My friend is now in his mid 20's and now has to register whenver he moves.