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Would this bother you?

I would feel as you do, and would be very offended and constantly suspect the reason, to the extent of speculating various reasons and feeling genuinely wronged by each and every one. Which, when it comes down to it, is truly all speculation. I think my point is, let it go or harbor resentment. It sounds easier than it is.

But also, weddings are overrated and insufferable celebrations of patriarchy. Your friend may be doing you a favor.

They should just have a separate ceremony for friends in Oregon.

Ultimately, will you really get to spend that much time with the friend anyway? They'll be dealing with wedding stuff or honeymooning the whole time. Wait and buy your plane ticket for a later time, when there are less people and far less stress.
 
secondmonkey said:
What it boils down for me is this:
If I was to ever have a wedding...not that it's really an option...he would be #1 on my guest list. Above my parents. And I don't know why I feel like that about somebody that wouldn't even think to ask me to go to his...
Click to expand...

I think you need to tell him this. Put it explicitly to him, exactly like this, and see what he says. Stop telling us and start telling him. Otherwise you will hold onto this resentment and it will eat away at your friendship.
 
Okay, the simple matter of the fact is, yes he should of made the gesture of inviting you even if you weren't going. I'd be a bit perturbed, if my best friend didn't atleast give me a chance to properly decline but still give my support to them. It most likely a bad oversight on both of their parts. They are probably just too wrapped up in their big wedding plans. I would say let them have thier day and then afterwards try to talk to them about it again, when their heads are focused on something so big.

Just express to him that you would of appreciated a simple invite, just for the sake of being a good friend.

His actions in other situations have shown that he does care about you. I think you are just starting to focus too much on the negative aspects of this situation.
 
heck just go to the wedding anyway if that's is what you truly want to friends are friends for life especially best friend and it shouldn't hinge on your friend trying to be considerate even though you think that an invitation was do you
 
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