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would you date a gay man who had kids and also two different woman? came out late etc

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angelstreet

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ok, Would you date a guy who had two kids by two different woman, one when he is was 17! and the other when he was 22. He says he has always been gay, and dint enjoy sex with woman but was scared and played around pretending to be a alpha straight man? He says he has known since he was 12 and fancied his male friends and teachers and women were just like friends to him.

He never really had a proper relationship with women, lived on and off with one but they hardly slept together.

Is he really gay? or just confused? he came out at 31 and is 35 now and out to everyone and has even told his kids who have accepted him.
 
If that's all what we need to know about him: Nope.

But I bet there is more to the story, since you're asking us. And that's what matters.
 
my friend is gay and has met a guy who has had a past with women and he is what you call gold star and doesnt believe he is really gay. that is all there is to the story.
 
Gold star? You have to fill me in on that one .. :confused:

Do you mean he is a "gem"?
 
Gold star never been with a woman. :-) and doesn't really like men who have been with women in the past.
 
Ah well .. what does he want from the other guy then? If he has that attitude I don't believe there is much left for discussion ;)
 
angelstreet said:
ok, Would you date a guy who had two kids by two different woman, one when he is was 17! and the other when he was 22. He says he has always been gay, and dint enjoy sex with woman but was scared and played around pretending to be a alpha straight man? He says he has known since he was 12 and fancied his male friends and teachers and women were just like friends to him.

He never really had a proper relationship with women, lived on and off with one but they hardly slept together.

Is he really gay? or just confused? he came out at 31 and is 35 now and out to everyone and has even told his kids who have accepted him.
Click to expand...

For a guy who didn't enjoy sex with women, he seems to have enjoyed it enough to get 2 women pregnant with his kids. And there was never any mention of him being with a man, just that he "fancied" his friends and teachers. I'm not exactly sure what you mean by an "alpha straight man", but I'm guessing you were trying to say "alpha male" as in jock type - into the hot girls (or pretending in order to hide the fact that he doesn't have a specific girl) If I'm wrong, please correct me.

As for would I date this type of guy??? No. I already have a wonderful partner. But even if I didn't, the type of guy you describe would not catch my eye, he seems to be under a heavy load of confusion and may not be living honestly with himself. If he isn't honest with himself, how can he be honest with others? Doesn't seem worth it.

Hope that helps.
 
I've had that, and not with the guy I knew who was like that. But if anything they're very caring people...
 
The key to this is not to date anyone you do not trust, or for your friend to date no one he does not trust. At first I thought it might be me, I was married and raised three children, then after a divorce, I met my partner, and for almost 26 years have lived in a gay relationship.

Is the story plausable. Yes. I agree with corny. I feel like I am waiting for a punch line, like he is really a woman but a cross dresser.

Shep+..|
 
All my men are married and have kids. Except when you would be a believer in romantic marriage (romantic and marriage is a total contradiction), what is the problem?
 
Willie Boy said:
For a guy who didn't enjoy sex with women, he seems to have enjoyed it enough to get 2 women pregnant with his kids. And there was never any mention of him being with a man, just that he "fancied" his friends and teachers. I'm not exactly sure what you mean by an "alpha straight man", but I'm guessing you were trying to say "alpha male" as in jock type - into the hot girls (or pretending in order to hide the fact that he doesn't have a specific girl) If I'm wrong, please correct me.

As for would I date this type of guy??? No. I already have a wonderful partner. But even if I didn't, the type of guy you describe would not catch my eye, he seems to be under a heavy load of confusion and may not be living honestly with himself. If he isn't honest with himself, how can he be honest with others? Doesn't seem worth it.

Hope that helps.
Click to expand...


I have spoken to him about getting two women pregnant and saying he didn't enjoy it but he said he never enjoyed sleeping with women it was just to try and straigten him out. All his friends were straight and back then gay wasn't seen as a good thing at all. He says he was drunk mostly and it wasn't passionate but you are like my friend who won't accept his reason?

Any gay guys who have previously been with women and in denial care to comment?
 
angelstreet said:
I have spoken to him about getting two women pregnant and saying he didn't enjoy it but he said he never enjoyed sleeping with women it was just to try and straigten him out. All his friends were straight and back then gay wasn't seen as a good thing at all. He says he was drunk mostly and it wasn't passionate but you are like my friend who won't accept his reason?

Any gay guys who have previously been with women and in denial care to comment?
Click to expand...

His "reason" sounds more like the rationalizing of one who wants others to believe what he wants them to believe when he is trying to hide from the truth.

It doesn't really matter, beyond the fact that I wouldn't waste time on him, he isn't worth it if he can't accept the truth.
 
Well hello there, just thought I would comment seeing as I came out at 38 after being married to a woman and having kids. I am now 44 and completely out of the closet even my kids know. We do exist, we are out there, and there are even a few of us right here on JUB.

We all make mistakes in life some bigger then others, should that be held against us??? Having said that, yes I would date someone like me as long as they are comfortable with the new them and didn't expect me to be his dirty little secret on the side.
 
There's plenty of guys who get so caught up in their web of lies that it's impossible to come out until that mid-30s epiphany that all men have and they suddenly start doing things like buying sports cars, working out, getting tattoos and coming out of the closet.

As long as he's not a deadbeat dad and lives up to his responsibilities and has the kids part of his life... and he's honest with them... sounds like a pretty stand up guy.

Sure I'd date him.
 
as long as he's a decent guy who isn't shirking his responsibilities... sure, why not?
 
I'm 45 and have been in one monogamous relationship for 20 years.

I've wondered how I would handle being single again, and feel I might be fairly carefree about dating - but would be a lot more picky about anything more serious.

I dunno about this. I don't find being so confused about who you are to be appealing.
 
Ive been with some pretty flaming guys and even they weren't "gold stars". so i wouldn't think this would be issue.
 
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