Would you date a guy if they had a mental disorder?

[RhyRhy]

Like it says would you even consider dating a guy with a mental disorder? I have Bipolar Disorder with co-morbid diagnoses of Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia, OCD, and PTSD. I've been single for several years, but am now finally becoming more okay with my "gay side" and am tired of being alone, but I'm afraid with my disability that no one would even consider coming near me. I also see my psychiatrist every few weeks and am properly medicated.

 

[TX-Beau]

People have been dating other people with mental disorders since the dawn of time.

I would suspect that as long as you present yourself as who you are, and not as an institutional escapee, you'll be fine.

Be careful though about putting yourself out there looking for a "relationship." How you've defined that is unique to you and no guy on earth will be an exact match for it. You should put yourself out there and meet a lot of guys, then let the relationship build around the two of you as you are. Don't try to force a guy into a mold you've decided on before hand, that never works.

 

[TomahawkEagle]

Getting out there meeting people and if you're lucky finding someone might actually help your mental illnesses. It's certainly helped my depression.

 

[RhyRhy]

People have been dating other people with mental disorders since the dawn of time.

I would suspect that as long as you present yourself as who you are, and not as an institutional escapee, you'll be fine.

Be careful though about putting yourself out there looking for a "relationship." How you've defined that is unique to you and no guy on earth will be an exact match for it. You should put yourself out there and meet a lot of guys, then let the relationship build around the two of you as you are. Don't try to force a guy into a mold you've decided on before hand, that never works.

But maybe I am an institutional escapee I'm not looking for one specific type of guy, just a committed monogamous relationship.

Getting out there meeting people and if you're lucky finding someone might actually help your mental illnesses. It's certainly helped my depression.

I'm 29 only been with two guys and one girl. I'm like 29 going on 16 when it comes to sex and relationships. Besides those 3, I have only been on a date with one guy back in 03, and another guy in 07 we went on a few dates but he just wasn't for me as a boyfriend. I know one thing I could never have sex with a random person.

 

[Serenx55]

Like it says would you even consider dating a guy with a mental disorder? I have Bipolar Disorder with co-morbid diagnoses of Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia, OCD, and PTSD. I've been single for several years, but am now finally becoming more okay with my "gay side" and am tired of being alone, but I'm afraid with my disability that no one would even consider coming near me. I also see my psychiatrist every few weeks and am properly medicated.

If you're properly medicated and the symptoms have subsided to a manageable level, then yes. That being said mental disorder is a bit broad, there's a difference between a guy with agoraphobia and a guy with disorganized schizophrenia or histrionic personality disorder.
In your case your main problem will probably actually getting out of the house, not as much getting a guy.

 

[RhyRhy]

If you're properly medicated and the symptoms have subsided to a manageable level, then yes. That being said mental disorder is a bit broad, there's a difference between a guy with agoraphobia and a guy with disorganized schizophrenia or histrionic personality disorder.
In your case your main problem will probably actually getting out of the house, not as much getting a guy.

I'm good to go most of the time, but sometimes my Bipolar rears it's angry head around a couple of times a year and I hit my lows where I don't want to get out of bed, and have suicidal idealization, or I hit my highs where I want to spend money, be around people all the time, etc. Sadly though with all the meds I'm on I suffer from moderate to severe depression nearly all the time. And yes anxiety/panic is going to be the hardest part for me meeting a guy. I've tried a few online sites to kinda ease myself into getting out, talk to a few guys (without mentioning disorder but admitting I'm shy), even make it to talking and texting on the phone but never made it to the meeting point. I've been considering getting a therapist to help me besides my psychiatrist recently.

 

[TheOscar]

I would definitely date someone with a mental disorder! I won't judge based on that, but on their character, personality, etc(all that good stuff).

 

[RhyRhy]

I would definitely date someone with a mental disorder! I won't judge based on that, but on their character, personality, etc(all that good stuff).

Thank you for being so kind and open minded!

 

[TheOscar]

Thank you for being so kind and open minded!

Of course! You could say I can relate, haha.

 

[Serenx55]

I'm good to go most of the time, but sometimes my Bipolar rears it's angry head around every few months and I hit my lows where I don't want to get out of bed, and have suicidal idealization, or I hit my highs where I want to spend money, be around people all the time, etc. Sadly though with all the meds I'm on I suffer from moderate to severe depression nearly all the time. And yes anxiety/panic is going to be the hardest part for me meeting a guy. I've tried a few online sites to kinda ease myself into getting out, talk to a few guys (without mentioning disorder but admitting I'm shy), even make it to talking and texting on the phone but never made it to the meeting point. I've been considering getting a therapist to help me besides my psychiatrist recently.

CBT Therapy + Psychiatric medical = best effect. For those times when you reach your low's and highs or suicidal ideals, those are times where you can use techniques and tricks which you can pick up from therapy.
And in all honesty a lot of guys have anxiety and or depression, it's common in educated individuals and homosexuals. And I think if you find a nice guy who's into your personality and is interested in a long term relationship you'll be fine.

 

[Serenx55]

I would definitely date someone with a mental disorder! I won't judge based on that, but on their character, personality, etc(all that good stuff).

A lot of mental disorders affect those, but again I think the only people that I would oppose ever dating are those with personality disorders, they are extremely difficult.

 

[TheOscar]

A lot of mental disorders affect those, but again I think the only people that I would oppose ever dating are those with personality disorders, they are extremely difficult.

True, a lot could, but then again maybe that's not their true selfs, but rather the mental disorder? I would get to know the person behind the disorder. But yeah there are many different types of disorders.

 

[RhyRhy]

CBT Therapy + Psychiatric medical = best effect. For those times when you reach your low's and highs or suicidal ideals, those are times where you can use techniques and tricks which you can pick up from therapy.
And in all honesty a lot of guys have anxiety and or depression, it's common in educated individuals and homosexuals. And I think if you find a nice guy who's into your personality and is interested in a long term relationship you'll be fine.

Yes that's what I am looking for. I already have an amazing Psychiatrist so I'm looking for a gay friendly CBT Therapist. I tried group therapy for awhile, I got no more out of it then posting in my online support groups so instead of wasting my insurance's money I quit going. I also think it is important for the person with an illness to be properly educated so they can recognize symptoms before it gets too far. I'm thinking of going into Psychology or Social Work once I start going back to finish my bachelors degree. I would love to be a Psychiatrist but I just can't afford the debt of med school.

 

[RhyRhy]

True, a lot could, but then again maybe that's not their true selfs, but rather the mental disorder? I would get to know the person behind the disorder. But yeah there are many different types of disorders.

It's also important like you said to get to know the person and not the disorder. At the same time it's also important to not let the disorder become the person!

 

[Serenx55]

True, a lot could, but then again maybe that's not their true selfs, but rather the mental disorder? I would get to know the person behind the disorder. But yeah there are many different types of disorders.

Well, for many disorders the line between the disorder and your former self ( if it ever was a separate force) is very thin and for many it's a part of normal life/ their self. However you can alter and try to make the disorders symptoms less prevalent and be less influential in your life.

 

[rain09]

If I liked them and they were honest about what they could/ couldn't do, I don't see why not.

 

[TheOscar]

Well, for many disorders the line between the disorder and your former self ( if it ever was a separate force) is very thin and for many it's a part of normal life/ their self. However you can alter and try to make the disorders symptoms less prevalent and be less influential in your life.

You're right, there's disorders that are more complicated than that, but it really depends on the disorder we're talking about here. You can usually see the person behind the disorder when you get to know them, though.



RhyRhy: Yep, exactly!

 

[Serenx55]

You're right, there's disorders that are more complicated than that, but it really depends on the disorder we're talking about here. You can usually see the person behind the disorder when you get to know them, though.



RhyRhy: Yep, exactly!

Well... this is getting rather philosophical and what not. But yah, I agree you should look through some of the persons symptoms like anxiety and abnormalities and try to get to know them regardless.

 

[maxpowr9]

It depends honestly. I have a high tolerance of "crazy" (sorry for a lack of a better word) but I do not like being abused as a crutch. I probably would not date someone who is bipolar for seeing how much destruction they are capable of. A good friend of mine had type-I bipolar (we assumed it was but was confirmed ex post facto when he apologized to us) and he was a pathological liar who would literally put himself in dangerous situations just to get people's attention. Ostentatious doesn't even come close to describing how bad he was. Not to mention he was a kleptomaniac when he was in his manic phase. He would steal tampons and cosmetics for his GF (at the time) and I remember one time he stole a coworker's purse. That point was when I stopped being friends with him and I just wanted to get out of his web he spun. Reckon he was not medicated at the time and I hope he is still on them now.

My story above aside, I think the important thing is to be open and honest with other people around you including those you may be dating. Education is a very important factor and you need to teach people about your "conditions". If they need medication, it is important to make sure they take it. The guy above when he was "normal", was a real sweetie and that was the true self that a lot of people did love and he was quite brilliant (he did go to and graduate from Harvard). As I wrote, it was when BP came around that made him unbearable to be near.

 

[bankside]

I knew I didn't want to hook up with random strangers either and I've never had any diagnosis of mental disorder. (I don't always deal constructively with stress, including sometimes ridiculous pressure to live up to my own standards, but I think that is more coping skills than brain malfunction.)

For a monogamous person who takes a lifelong view of things, I would have a hard time dealing with the potential for flare-ups of suicidal thoughts, because I'm in it for the long term and would rather grow old with someone. There are no guarantees in any relationship. My guy could have a heart attack or die out of the blue from Avian Influenza or he could walk past a construction site and something could fall on him. But it is easier to pretend he will live forever when I know he's not regularly thinking about bringing his life to an end himself. And pretending like that is half the fun of romance, and half the magic that makes it work.

Though it would be hard, that doesn't change my final answer, which is yes, I would. For someone who was making an effort to care for his mental health, even if there were good days and bad.