Would You Date Someone Who Doesn't Have Their Act Together?

[spencer]

I'm closeted and go out with my guy in public. He's not, but he doesn't mind it cause he seems doesn't want to stick out. For me as long as no one from work is around, I'll do quick PDA's

 

[erobert]

/\ Agree. As long as my immediate family isn't around quick PDA isn't a problem. If anyone has a problem I could really care less because they're strangers (would that even mean I'm closeted anymore? Hasn't happened yet but when it does I'll have to go with the flow)

I also agree with Eyghon being in the same situation and slightly younger (as usual I agree with everyone)

 

[Lube]

I'm closeted and ...

Strange, then, that you give out so much advice in the coming out forum????

 

[Lube]

In a word, cowardice.

I'm terrified of rocking the boat, even when all signs point to minimal rockage. In high school, I was surrounded by queer-friendly people, a couple of whom told me outright that they'd be totally accepting if I were gay, but the only times I came out were by accident. (One friend talked to me assuming I was already out, and then unknowingly outed me to a few others in a class.)

In college most of the work was done for me. I came out to one girl, who outed me to another friend, who outed me to her entire circle of friends, and I was happy to do it that way. But I actually had to say the words to my best friend from high school, whom I was sure would be accepting, and I think it was around seven years before I did.

I make not excuses: I'm a pussy. That at least partly explains why I haven't gotten my act together too.

Rock what boat? They all seem to know. You must be pretty obvious.

What exactly is it that you're afraid of rocking?

 

[spencer]

Strange, then, that you give out so much advice in the coming out forum????

I actually don't think that's any of your concern. But since you insinuated, I'll respond.

More people are closeted on here than not. The perspective I have for those people is that of compassion as MANY gay men look down upon closeted men. Many also are impatient at the time it takes for closeted men to come out. It's amazing how some men who got to come out the way the wanted aren't very sympathetic to those who want to come out on their time.

On this board, I always tell people to try not to be closeted but I understand obviously that they have to be.

Let me also remind you that in this forum coming out, relationships and bisex talk are mostly mutually exclusive. Not every thread about relationships has to include bisex talk, not every thread about relationships has to be about coming out. Your thinking is flawed. I actually understand the struggle more cause I struggle more. You can handle all the questions one they're out. But when they're actually out, they pretty much stop posting here cause they're not longer coming out.

I also post legitimate questions about my relationships on here. I lot of indepth posts. That doesn't mean that just because I'm not coming out, I can't post here.

I'm out to my family but I'm not out at work for reasons that are good enough for me. I know what it's like to come out to the people I've come out to. I've shared tears with my rents. I've come out to friends.

What's worse anyway, to be closeted or to be open and in a relationship not actually say it?

 

[Lube]

Hey, relax. I didn't say you couldn't post here. But it does put a different spin on the advice you give. That's all.