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Would you jerk off if....

JSRD

JSRD

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My boyfriend and I have been together awhile now and going back and forth on jerking off. Because of past relationships he has some insecurities and once we starting having sex regularly he chose to not jerk off. I tried for a while but eventually it came down to my sex drive is a lot more than his so I was putting to much pressure on us to have sex and we would fight. So we decided that we could start jerking off again as long as we were putting our sex life first, which was no problem. He still chose not to jerk off. About a month after this I approached him to get his feelings and he got a little aggressive and said he had forgot about me jerking off. He didn't like to think about it and had forgotten we talked about it. I again explained I was only doing it in times we weren't able to connect and thinking about our sex life when I did it. That calmed him didn but he still said he didn't like it. Any advice on this situation??
 
Masturbation is normal in or out of a relationship. Is not a problem unless one partner isn't available to the other because of it.
 
It sounds like a control issue to me. I have to wonder if he tries to control you in other areas of your life. If he likes sex twice a week and you like to cum everyday, why should he be bothered that you jack off in between?
 
He is jealous of your right hand?...sheesh, talk about insecurity!

So he is not giving it up yet ticked off when you jerk off?...yous gots issues you need to openly communicate about as expectations are on two different pages regarding your relationship.
 
I think he probably judges himself and his own fantasies as unacceptable and so he polices you instead of coming to terms with his own....

Kinda like it is easier for homophobes to hate other people and try to impose their will and laws on them rather than accept themselves.....

I think that of all jealous people....
 
Im not sure exactly why his feelings about masburbating are the way they are. He tells me just doesn't think you do it in relationships. I know in his last long term relationship he wasn't feeling sexually satisfied so he approached his partner asking him to not jerk off and his partner completely just said "yea yea I won't" but then would continually lie to him about it. The previous partner would pretty much choose masburbating over sex it sounds like. But I'm not like that. I like my sex life and want to always put that first. I've explained that to my partner. To me jerking off is just a different experience. It's completely different than sex.
 
It's ok for you to masturbate.
 
JSRD said:
.The previous partner would pretty much choose masburbating over sex with him
Click to expand...
^Portion in red added for clarity.

That "with him" is probably the real issue.

When someone feels that they "own" you or your body, that's not a relationship of equals. You're entitled to have your own life, your own sexual fantasies and your own time to wank off, as long as it is not to the exclusion of your partner.

Masturbation is also not the slippery slope to infidelity, as long as you're doing it alone.

JSRD said:
Because of [his] past relationships he has some insecurities and once we starting having sex regularly he chose to not jerk off
Click to expand...
His past. His insecurities. His choices. His issues.

These are things that he needs to work on. Otherwise, his insecurities and his need to control your personal time with your own penis will continue to cause friction between the two of you.
 
to not jerk off would most likely cause issues in the long run, if he isnt happy with it just dont bring it up. As long as ur sex life is good and strong i wouldnt worry. the issues here is with him, ask him why he dont want u to do it? tell him u love him and that its just natural. I see it hard to believe he dont do it tbh
 
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