Wrong or right?

[Timster]

Hello boys and men

To be honest, I don't know if its right to get attracted by older (i'm attracted by guys from 30 - 40 years old not older though). But I live my life like my age, I go out allot, sport allot (football and gym), See my mates allot, and got school.. While guys from 30 till 40 years old probbely having a 40 hour job, and when they got weekend they want to rest due their heavy work so wont go out, wont be going to their mates after work.. They do exercise though mostly..

But I mean, I live a total different life then the guys i'm attracted by.. I was seeing a guy who is 34 years old, really my type and stuff, and I was his type.. But he was so busy with work and stuff that he havn't seen 1 single match (football) in 5 months.. While he promised me to watch one(i football quite high).. Its not that its a must.. But I expect the ones i will have a relationship with to sacrifice things for eachother.. I know most gay men dont like football and I respect that, But its not a mather of liking the sport or not..

And ive got more things witch are bothering me.. But its hard to just say.. Ok i'm done with guys from 30-40 years old.. I will go to the younger guys.. Because I cant! Sometimes I just don't know what to do

Not that this message makes any sence, But I just wanted to mention it.. don't know why.. But Its bothering me for quite a while. And the types witch are different, and living the life I life like are mostly men who are just looking for sex.. Not that i'm desperately searching for a boyfriend, Not at all I just want more then sex only if u guys know what I mean, Friendship, relationship, just nice men to hang out with what ever.. Sex is great but not a must etc..

Advice is always welcome

Regards, Timster ( http://www.gaydar.eu/manutd19 for pics and stuff )

 

[Orlandude]

I would not say this is a "right or wrong" type issue. It's more a matter of finding the right person(s), regardless of age. When I look at my own circle of friends and "significant others", they are quite a diverse group and I seek out certain ones for certain things. It is not unreasonable to expect a "significant other" to have some of the same interests as you or, at least, take some interest in what you do. However, I would say that the older we get, the less TIME we have to do things than we once did when life was a bit more care-free.

Compromise. If what you need is someone to just play sports with, find a buddy your own age to do that and keep your relationships with guys older than you who may prefer to spend quality time with you doing other things. I would agree that sex is just a part of a relationship. If all it amounts to is sex and nothing else, that's not much of a relationship. Choose your significant others more wisely. In a relationship, it's not just about them and it's not just about you. It's about the relationship and growing TOGETHER.

 

[jarcom]

Orlandude put it very well. Remember too that life would be very boring if all of the people we spend time with were all the same, you learn from people who have different interests and are of different ages, men and women....and I will say again that right and wrong have nothing to do with this situation you find yourself in....you like what you like and that's it. Just enjoy what comes to you, don't analyze it.

 

[Timster]

yea Guys true, but the thing is.. Somethimes I wish that I was attracted by younger men, while I just like older men, due they got a better personality mostly and also have got more experience in life. And im looking for those kind of people..

 

[Neji]

I don't think it's a matter of wrong or right, although the thought of what others would say/think is always on the back of my mind and I try not to think about it

 

[Maddog85]

I have had the same problem. I like the older men because they have everything that I am wanting from my life that I don't have. Because I am a college student, that isn't making very much money at all. That I am always busy do things that do not seem to be working towards anything bigger or better.

So, I go for older guys because I don't want to hang out with dudes with the same stressers.

But the flip side is... those older dudes and I don't have much in common. And the relationships kind of fizzle. In their eyes I am just a some college kid that can kiss really well. But I will still keep looking, as I think you will too.

Here's to life!

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Very good advice here, guys.

It is wrong to base your judgement on that one experience that you have made. 'Older dudes' have their own drawbacks but we are all different in the ways we handle them. So, you want to find a dude, who suits you, because he prioritizes in the similar way, you do.

Developing a m2m relationship is a most complicated process, I could possibly think of. So, you want to take any amount of patience and good will before you even start.

Adopt a very positive approach. 'Older dudes' mostly cope with the amount of work and duties they have by developing very good planning strategies.

Go and tell your BF, 'I want to take you that football match and this is important for me. Ask him, 'what can I do for you, to take off some work from your load, so that you can factor that one in'. Offer to back up your expectations with deeds on your part. This is a key matter. Show him that you are not only willing to take, but that you start by being willing to give.

Figure out, what makes your BF tick. (It may not be footy but something totally different. Look into it, and decide if you can go to him and tell him that you would be happy to be part of that set up. You are a young dude and you want to try.) If he sees that you are putting honest effort into him, he'll start returning the favor, too.

And last but not least. Look into the matter from a certain prospective, if you will? No dude, I have met, so far, was so short of time, so that he did not have a chance to make do, if he was told in advance, and if he really wanted to. You want to make sure that you are pushing all the right buttons and, if he is still not showing any change, you want to move on. He is not defining the word relationship the way you are doing it.

But, yeah. Put some good, ole' honest work into it, first.

SC

 

[youngnihilist]

Not all younger guys are poor, flaky, and stupid. Some of us are very financially secure and got a good head on shoulders, yet still like to go out work out do "young" things.

In any case do what's best for you and if you only like older men then by all means you can't fool yourself into thinking you like something else.

 

[VICTORIADON]

I guess I am to "old" to comment.

 

[Timster]

I never mentioned "old" i just tried to explain u guys that im attracted to guys arround 30-40 years old..

And yeah your right SilverRRCloud, but I aint even had to chance to try that with someone yet

 

[3nipples]

Look on the bright side. Guys who like older guys have a much larger target group than those who like younger guys.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

I never mentioned "old" i just tried to explain u guys that im attracted to guys arround 30-40 years old..

And yeah your right SilverRRCloud, but I aint even had to chance to try that with someone yet

See, chances rarely to come to us.

Mostly, you go out and create them.

SC