Wtf am i feeling

[abababababa]

I have been feeling incredibly strange lately. I haven't had sex with a girl in awhile (well like 5 months) and I've been getting incredibly horny lately. And when I do get horny I usually jerk off obviously. Usually i just jerk off to lesbian porn (never straight porn) and lately gay porn has been thrown in the mix. Usually every once and awhile i'd get an urge to jerk off to gay porn, and the urge to get with a guy would usually go away. Now it doesn't. And while most will probably just say give into the urge, i feel it's only an animal instinct. I mean, I don't get boners when i see a girl I'm attracted to, and I don't feel attracted to men. It just feels like i want something sexual, but i've even been jerking off to just pictures of guys recently. While I know it's programmed into me that I should not be gay, I have no idea what i'm feeling. Is it my subconscious fighting my consciousness about my sexuality, I have no idea what i'm feeling. and when I come even kind of close to thinking "oh hey maybe i'm gay or bi" a rational thought comes over me like "im not attracted to men," or "when i walk around in public, what am i attracted to? women." so i have no idea. maybe i do just need to experiment, but i think that would fuck up my head even more than it currently is.

anyways sorry for the rant and maybe someone can help me see through this. thanks.

 

[KaraBulut]

If you're enjoying whacking off to guys, where's the problem?

 

[terry61_99]

On other threads guys have said something that I have to totally agree with and think it fits here too....we all need to stop trying to put a label on ourselves and just go with the flow. Gay, bi, straight what does it really matter? Just be yourself...plain and simple. All the best to you.

 

[Rooster]

I have been feeling incredibly strange lately. I haven't had sex with a girl in awhile (well like 5 months) and I've been getting incredibly horny lately. And when I do get horny I usually jerk off obviously. Usually i just jerk off to lesbian porn (never straight porn) and lately gay porn has been thrown in the mix. Usually every once and awhile i'd get an urge to jerk off to gay porn, and the urge to get with a guy would usually go away. Now it doesn't. And while most will probably just say give into the urge, i feel it's only an animal instinct. I mean, I don't get boners when i see a girl I'm attracted to, and I don't feel attracted to men. It just feels like i want something sexual, but i've even been jerking off to just pictures of guys recently. While I know it's programmed into me that I should not be gay, I have no idea what i'm feeling. Is it my subconscious fighting my consciousness about my sexuality, I have no idea what i'm feeling. and when I come even kind of close to thinking "oh hey maybe i'm gay or bi" a rational thought comes over me like "im not attracted to men," or "when i walk around in public, what am i attracted to? women." so i have no idea. maybe i do just need to experiment, but i think that would fuck up my head even more than it currently is.

anyways sorry for the rant and maybe someone can help me see through this. thanks.

The question seems to be whether what you are feeling towards men is a natural attraction or an operant attraction.

A natural attraction tends to occur without any thought. If a cute guy rubbed against your shoulder by accident on the street and you instantly got a boner, then that would be an example of a natural attraction. It didn't require anything distinctly sexual to elicit a sexual response.

An operant attraction is another way of saying a "learned" or "conditioned" attraction. For example, if you never had attraction towards men and then you started jacking off to gay porn out of boredom, and then found over time that you developed an attraction towards men because you have "trained" your body through repeated orgasm to find men attractive, then it would most likely be an operant attraction.

The difference between natural attractions and operant attractions is that operant attractions go extinct over time if you stop reinforcing them. In other words, if you gave up gay porn for several months and then found that you no longer had any attraction towards men, then it would show that you only had an operant attraction towards them. If you have a natural attraction towards men, then no matter how much you try to deny it, or how much you stay away from things like gay porn, you will still find men attractive.

 

[TX-Beau]

Denial is what you're feeling.

When your cock and your head are telling you different things, your cock is usually the one telling the truth. You get horny and look at pictures of guys, but when you don't have a boner your head tells you you're straight.

You don't want to be gay, but you have an attraction to guys. That sucks doesn't it.

Now for the good news, the fact that you're in here talking to us means that you aren't in deep denial.

You have to find a way to be comfortable in your own skin, so start with this.

Sit down, and tell yourself - out loud - that there is nothing wrong with being sexually attracted to men. You won't be able to do this at first probably, but keep trying until you can.

You are the only person you have to convince.

And frankly, the side effect of this will be that if you really aren't gay, you'll figure that out too, and you can then go through the rest of your life as an open minded straight guy - but really, I think you're gay, so don't get your hopes up about that.

 

[TX-Beau]

On other threads guys have said something that I have to totally agree with and think it fits here too....we all need to stop trying to put a label on ourselves and just go with the flow. Gay, bi, straight what does it really matter? Just be yourself...plain and simple. All the best to you.

We're not going to have to have the "why gay men fear no labels but the gay ones..." lecture are we?

If it truly doesn't matter, why does it matter if someone uses a label?

Terry, which is a label.

 

[Lube]

Denial is what you're feeling.

When your cock and your head are telling you different things, your cock is usually the one telling the truth.

Quoted for truth.

 

[abababababa]

Thanks for the responses everyone

If you're enjoying whacking off to guys, where's the problem?

i only enjoy it sometimes. its not like i do it everyday, sometimes i cant even get a boner to it. it just comes and goes.

Denial is what you're feeling.

When your cock and your head are telling you different things, your cock is usually the one telling the truth. You get horny and look at pictures of guys, but when you don't have a boner your head tells you you're straight.

You don't want to be gay, but you have an attraction to guys. That sucks doesn't it.

Now for the good news, the fact that you're in here talking to us means that you aren't in deep denial.

You have to find a way to be comfortable in your own skin, so start with this.

Sit down, and tell yourself - out loud - that there is nothing wrong with being sexually attracted to men. You won't be able to do this at first probably, but keep trying until you can.

You are the only person you have to convince.

And frankly, the side effect of this will be that if you really aren't gay, you'll figure that out too, and you can then go through the rest of your life as an open minded straight guy - but really, I think you're gay, so don't get your hopes up about that.

where do you get that im gay? ive had sex with women, ive enjoyed it, if anything im bi, but i feel like bisexuality isnt something that comes and goes.

 

[KaraBulut]

If you're enjoying whacking off to guys, where's the problem?

i only enjoy it sometimes. its not like i do it everyday, sometimes i cant even get a boner to it. it just comes and goes..

There's almost a silly "one drop" rule when it comes to men being attracted to other men. It's as if a guy who admits being attracted to or having sex with another guy makes him gay. And a gay guy who is attracted to a woman is just in denial.

Attractions are weird things. If you're turned on by a guy, you enjoy spanking it while looking at a guy, then just enjoy it for what it is and stop wasting time trying to find labels or rationalize away what feels good and doesn't harm anyone.

 

[TX-Beau]

where do you get that im gay? ive had sex with women, ive enjoyed it, if anything im bi, but i feel like bisexuality isnt something that comes and goes.

Well, I've had sex with women, I've enjoyed it. I'm not straight, not Bi, I'm gay. I had sex with women because it's what I was supposed to do, and I really really really didn't want to be gay. Because I was programmed that being gay was bad. It wasn't being a man, it was something that sinners and perverts do.

Do you understand how common that is? A lot of us grew up that way.

Here's the problem, in your original post you said you didn't know what you're feeling, then you said you were programmed not to be gay, and now that I've used the G word, you don't know what you're feeling but you're sure you aren't gay.

Why should Bisexuality be something that comes and goes? What do you mean by that? are you afraid your sexual attraction to men won't go away? It probably won't.

Whether you turn out to be straight gay or bi you aren't going to figure it out until you deal with your negative feelings about being attracted to men.

If you are bi and you feel that that's just wrong, you have a choice you can make, if your feelings about men are strong enough that you can't ignore them, the chance you're gay get's higher, could you still be bi? Sure, could you still be straight? Sure, you could be Pope Pious IX for all we know in here, you're the only one with the answers to your question, and the only way you're going to find them is to deal with your aversion to your attraction to men.

If you didn't have an attraction to men, you wouldn't be in here, if it wasn't strong enough to worry you, you wouldn't be in here. Straight guys don't come in here asking about their attractions to men - even if they have some curiosity - it's easy for them to ignore, because they are straight.

 

[AcquiredTaste]

You mention that the urge to "get with a guy" no longer goes away after jerking to gay porn. You go on to say "i've even been jerking off to just pictures of guys recently". Thoughts and images of men obviously give you pleasure. As others mentioned previously, just enjoy it for what it is. Don't worry about where the desires come from or what it all means. Try to view these urges in a positive light since they do bring you pleasure and aren't hurting anyone.