Yes, human sexuality has diversity, and people identify themselves differentl. But to put it another way, just because I call myself Japanese doesn't mean I am Japanese for fuck's sake. I did study it for nine years, but I'm still not Japanese. I may well call myself straight, but regardless of what social concerns I have, if my experiences and expression include a repertoire of sexual liaisons with people of my own sex, I am not straight...no matter how frequently I call myself straight or to whom in what circumstances. Now, the word 'gay' is politically and socioeconomically laden; it is a sign predominantly used by Western middle class culture and as so much international discussion of this topic is in the main controlled by members of that class. It is frequently over-generalised to include all men of all countries, ages, politics, social and economic groups and sub-classes who only (or even sometimes) have sex with men, and this is incorrect. I realise this sounds like semantics, and it sort of is, but the word 'homosexual' is also problematic (as is the word 'heterosexual,' for that matter) so we settle for the most offensive word to the majority and use the word Queer (capital Q) to speak to non-straight folk.
Generally speaking though, for the purposes of this board, it is reasonable to assume that all members of JUB recognise and understand the appellations of Straight, Bi and Gay as referring to those who (in that order) share sexual liaisons with 1/ the other (yes, I know about hermaphrodites...) sex; 2/ both sexes, and; 3/ their own sex only.
It matters how people refer to each other because it primes or conditions people to think of social order in a particular fashion. We see in Australia, for example, very little recognition of Aboriginal citizens as being fairly or proportionately represented as attractive, intelligent or desirable, and almost never as gay or bi. We see non-straight Asian guys as being represented overwhelmingly as effeminate. And so on. The result is stereo-typing that even those who fall into those sub-cultures capitulate to. Young men growing up and searching for language to identify themselves need to be able to hear, read, explore and use a wide variety of language, but it needs to be parole that offers integrity, honesty, so as to enable people to be true to themselves and to others as they try to grow into a social structure that facilitates exploration of potential and expansion of meaning.
The promotion of straight character that is in fact a lie, a deceit, undermines the non-straight and eventually all society, but most directly and powerfully our own Queer people. When we point the finger to those who would scream condemnation of us encouraging self-hatred, a sense of displacement, self-harm and suicide, we must remember that we have four fingers pointing back at ourselves. Language has powers of clarification and validation but it can also be used to cloud and confuse, to disempower and corrupt. Most people don't put too much effort into thinking about the real consequences of their own imagined 'cleverness' as they try to have others believe their marketing or spin, but there are always consequences when people 'buy' a crappy product. When we mislabel ourselves and each other and we believe our own tales of deception, or set up our younger friends to believe us when we lie, we do all of us an enormous injustice.
But aside from all of that doom and gloom, didn't any of your parents tell you 1/ Don't believe it just because the newspaper/TV/radio/your mates tell you it's so - examine the evidence and argument, and 2/ If your friends tell you to jump off a cliff, would you do it? No, you would think about the consequences of following their ridiculous suggestions. So, we shouldn't fall for spin, and we should explore the results of playing along with silly social games.
