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  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Ya, another seeking advise question

Only you can decide whether you can handle being "just friends" with him. But if you go on hoping for something that's probably not going to happen, I think it will only make you more and more unhappy. And that's not what you need right now.
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A very good point here.

You have told him your side of the story. He never voluteered to say, he was bi, gay or sexually interested in you in any sense. I would not go believing that he really is. Yeah, he likes hanging out with you, even sharing a cig, if need be, but I'd say, this is where the buck really stops.

Do not cut him out of your life. Go and meet him up. Do your stuff together and stay friends.

But do reinvent yourself. Leave your past behind you. Create your future now. Get dating, go out, meet other gay guys. You have got a life to live. Do not waste it.

SC
 
Thanks guys. Good points.

I think I already knew what I should do, but sometimes you don't want to accept what the inner voice tells you. I should know by now it's usually right, but when emotions kick in, it tends to drown it out.
 
Don't beat yourself up sweety. You are doing fine. Letters can be very theraputic, and I thought it was a great idea to share it here. You can also do similar things like write a letter, go somewhere safe read it and bury it, burn it, etc. to relieve your emotions and voice them. You did well.

Your letter was beautiful and actually uplifting to me and from what I have read to others as well. Sharing it here allowed you to voice your feelings in a "safe" (I say that knowing that sometimes this site doesn't seem very safe to me) environment where all of us emathize with you. We all need that and it makes us not so alone. So be good to yourself and don't beat yourself up. OK?

Now on "getting over it". Sex abuse is one of those things that very rarely people actually "get over it". I liked your expression when you wrote a "mind fuck" because that is exactly what it is a "rape" of the mind. The sexual part of sexual abuse is the least of the trauma, it is all the mental fucking that is so devestating. What we learn to do is to start practicing new thinking paterns, and we spend the rest of our lives practicing them. The younger we start the easier it is. The younger we are and there is closure the easier it is to deal with. Like I said be nice to your self.
 
:-) just smiles....you are a great guy Shadow you just don't realize it yet. Someday hopefully you will :-)

Good Luck Man ..|
 
thanks Roland. I've never considered myself to be obsessive compulsive but lately I just can't get stuff off my mind. I see my doc this
week. so maybe a med change is in order.
 
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