Yeah I just came out to my long time friend with benefits !

[Alive and Free]

Any of you guys ever have a relationship with a friend were certain things allways went unsaid ? well I certainly do. My best friend growing up gave me my first orgasam at age 12 and for almost the next ten years we enjoyed a friends with benefits relationship. When time was no concern and we were both free I would say we hooked up at least 4 times a week and sometime multiple times a day. We did the usually jerk each other off , then each take turns blowing each other then we usually ended with an amazing 69. Several times he wanted me to put my cock in him but he was tight and alittle dirty but I did it a few times.He is tottaly straight and has no interest in persuing a relationship with a guy oddly he sucks cock with so much passion and wants in the ass. To him there was no harm in what we did it was just a helping hand of sorts.Well we have never talked about the sex we have shared the only thing that was talked about was the odd places we hooked up in , church basment bathroom , neighbors house i was watching, the cemetery etc. Well he called the other night and we got talking about internet daiting and I knew eventually i would have to come out to him so i said yeah the guy i am talkign to and i chatted online a few weeks before we exchanged phone numbers , i thought underhandedly putting it in there would work better. Then he said who ? I said the guy I am talkign to you know that I am interested in then I said you know I am gay right ? Tottaly taken back by it then we go for an hour and a half like he has no idea what it is like to have sex with a guy. It eventually came down to as long as you are happy but on the same side of it as i have expirenced with others when gay marriage comes up no way thats wrong you are catholic. Thanks for listening !

 

[DiaryOfAMadman]

Your friend has problems. Wether he likes it or not, he's been fucked by choice multiple times and he's sucked dick for 10 years "HE'S GAY". He might not want to say it, but it's something he can't argue. It's no different from someone killing another person and claiming not to be a murderer.

BTW congrats on your coming out to him.

 

[luminum]

So your best friend who you have frequent gay sexual encoutners with was surprised and acted like you guys had never had sex before when you told him you were gay...and went on to talk about how you (and he) could never think about getting married to another guy because you're both Catholic...?

...

If I had known that being Catholic was that flexible, I would have never left the church. It always amazes me how sex can be so top priority on the no-no list in Catholic churches, and yet simultaneously amoung its followers, love and relationships are deemed even more inappropriate than lust-based sexual encounters...

 

[Alive and Free]

Your friend has problems. Wether he likes it or not, he's been fucked by choice multiple times and he's sucked dick for 10 years "HE'S GAY". He might not want to say it, but it's something he can't argue. It's no different from someone killing another person and claiming not to be a murderer.

BTW congrats on your coming out to him.

I really dont think he is gay since he is greatly attracted to women , I think our relationship was just a means of getting off as opposed to sexual attraction.

 

[Alive and Free]

So your best friend who you have frequent gay sexual encoutners with was surprised and acted like you guys had never had sex before when you told him you were gay...and went on to talk about how you (and he) could never think about getting married to another guy because you're both Catholic...?

...

If I had known that being Catholic was that flexible, I would have never left the church. It always amazes me how sex can be so top priority on the no-no list in Catholic churches, and yet simultaneously amoung its followers, love and relationships are deemed even more inappropriate than lust-based sexual encounters...

Yeah I guess he was thinking for me it was just getting off as opposed to a sexual preference. It was conflicted when he said I just want you to be happy thats all that matters were on the other hand I said I would love to meet my soul mate and we could get married. That was somethign he thought was gravely wrong , gay marriage still a big no no with people who can tolerate gays. I guess he didint feel that sucking my cock was morally wrong for him.

 

[timnmostud]

It could also be that he is nervous that if you come out, he will be guilty by association, so to speak. Obviously, if you hung out that long and that often, someone will suspect that you two were having a lot of fun together! Either way, it is his thing to deal with. The best you can do is be a friend and live your life.

 

[Roland00]

He is not straight if he had a friends with benefits relationship for 10 years, 4 times a week, sometimes multiple times per day.

He may be gay, he may be bi (either prefering women, men, or equally), he is not straight.

Multiple times per day is not just getting off.

 

[unclaimedblessing]

Ignore the labels and try a different perspective.
He might have thought you and he shared a special, secret relationship. He could resent (or be jealous) that you are corresponding with someone else which could lead to a sexual thing (which could destroy or jeopardize what you've had together).
That's not to say he's right, just a different approach.

 

[RicanDAB]

He is tottaly straight and has no interest in persuing a relationship with a guy oddly he sucks cock with so much passion and wants in the ass ... Tottaly taken back by it then we go for an hour and a half like he has no idea what it is like to have sex with a guy.

Guys, can I join your "He is NOT straight" bandwagon here? This has to be the most confused boy [the best friend] that I have ever heard of.

 

[G-Lexington]

This is a bit like admitting that you're a smoker to the guy you've been bumming cigarettes from for the last ten years.

Lex

 

[gabriel1]

This is a bit like admitting that you're a smoker to the guy you've been bumming cigarettes from for the last ten years.

Lex

PSSST! - Could I bum a smoke from ya?

 

[KentuckyPython]

I really dont think he is gay since he is greatly attracted to women , I think our relationship was just a means of getting off as opposed to sexual attraction.

He could be bi-sexual. No guy has consistent and consensual sex with another man and remains straight -- not even the gay for pay guys. He asked you to penetrate him; that's certainly not straight.

 

[Roland00]

Here is another possibility. You told him that you are pursuing other relationships and that you are gay. By admitting the elephant in the room, you may have make him uncomfortable. Now he realized the possibility of you falling for him (I ain't saying you are or you aren't, but you caused him to realize the possibility no matter how real it is) and thus he reacted, trying to build space

Or he could be jealous, and try to hide it.

Or it could be a hundred of reasons, if I think long enough I can create multiple logical and "emotional natural" reasons for what he did. (I won't try for I desperately need sleep).

Good Night, and good luck however this turns out

 

[rareboy]

Your friend must be dumber than a fence post.

 

[Alive and Free]

Yeah I agree guys I think he is very confussed , wanting me to put my cock in his ass so many times isint somethign most tottaly straight men go for. I remember the last time I was blowing him and just how loudly he was moaning for me to fuck him in the ass. The odd thing is he never in conversation has acknowleged our hooking up. The only suttle thing I remember him making reference to when we werent hooking up at that moments was he said his dick hurt alittle after we wanted me to lightly bite him whille blowing him other then that the only talk is during hooking up/sex of what we want from each other. The funy thing is he tottaly acted grossed out when I told him what it was like to make love to a man.

 

[interesting]

yeah, I gotta agree, your homeboy is at least bi, definitely not straight.

 

[Roland00]

Note don't change anything about your relationship with your FWB if you can, unless he is a bad lay

 

[Ninja108]

uhh, if he's been engaging in sexual intercourse with another man for 10 years, he's bi at least

 

[Kyanimal]

Whether he actually IS Gay/Bi/Str8, whatever, isn't the real question here. What is important is how your buddy Identifies Himself. It is quite possible for him to consider himself completely Str8, and that everything he has done with you was merely "Sport". It's something he enjoys doing, quite a bit, obviously, but it is not something that He "identifies" with. "Yeah! I fool around with Guys, but I'm NOT "Gay"!" Catch my drift?

Somewhere in His mind, there is a Disconnect between the Sex and His Feelings. And when You start talking about Feelings/Identification, this is going to make Him fairly uneasy! Because, He is not "like that"! It sounds as if, as far as He is concerned, that as long as His "exploits" with You do not become generally known, then none of it really "counts"! And when You openly talk about it, even to just Him, and bring up the idea of also "doing IT", with another Guy, Your Friend is going to get "queasy"!

Trust me, this is not the first, nor will it likely be that last, time I've encountered this type of behavior/denial. It's probably even more prevelant than any of us realize!

"Play around" with Guys? Sure! It's lots of Fun! Talk about/admit it? NEVER!

There is a good possibility, here, that now You have brought IT out into the open, He is going to be more reluctant to "Play" with You, anymore! (Which I hope isn't the case.) You have crossed a line that He was comfortable about not having to defend.

Give Him time. Give Him space. Do NOT "go there" in your conversations with Him, for a while.

Yes, Your Friend has some issues, of His own, to deal with. But they are just that ... HIS Issues. And, calling Him out on IT, or even bringing it up, through your own experiences/desires, will only make him more uncomfortable.

Am I making any sense, here?

Wishing YOU All the Very Best!

And ... of course ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[Roland00]

Am I making any sense, here?

You are making a lot of sense

The key to making FWB work, is simply Not talking, as soon as you do you risk the chance of upsetting the status quo which is FWB thrives on.

FWB is similar to Fuck Buddies in realtionship here is Michael Alvear's rules on Fuck Buddies

Here's what the successful FB relationship requires:

1. A mutual physical obession. It won't work if only one of you is into the other's body. That's called marriage.
2.A mutual disinterest in seeing each other outside the bedroom. It won't work if you want to have dinner. That's called dating.
3.A mutual disinterest in doing platonic things, like running around with your buddies. That's called friendship.
4.A mutual agreement to play hide the salami in secret. If it's not a secret, it won't last. That's called gossip.
5.A mutual agreement to leave as soon as you've both ejaculated. No lingering, no cuddling, no post-coital heart-to hearts. That's called lesbianism.
6.A mutual agreement to have sex no more than once a month or so. Although that's also called marriage.

Of course this is his rules (you can disagree with some) for Fuck Buddies. FWB is not the same as FB, but they are similar. If you didn't catch the meaning of the rules, FB is something that must not change if you want it to last. It will become something more, a possible real lasting relationship, or it will become something less due to conflict or since it is no longer based on sex you find that in the other things you are incompatible and you have opened the Pandora's box, you now think of other things besides sex with such a person.

Of course this is not the case with you Alive and Free. Your FWB is a real friend he is important to you as a friend. Thing is by telling him you are gay, you have opened the idea to him that your FWB was not just about sex, it was also about attraction. You have opened his pandora's box which his denial tried to keep close.

Good luck, a lot of things can happen now, or a lot of nothing can happen