Yep, caught my bf cheating on videotape. What should I do?

[slyfer]

After you saw the tape you should have dumped him, told him you knew what he did, and left him pondering how. But that's me.

 

[bankside]

None of this makes any sense. If that is your idea of "the best boyfriend, lucky to have, worth hanging on to" then raise the bar a little.

Or enter a lot of competitive limbo events. Win big cash and prizes.

If I even believe this story (and I'm going to act like I do because truth, rareboy, is stranger than fiction) then I'm afraid this would be one of those cases where I would advise you to dump him. And I would advise him to dump you.

It would be like on Jeopardy, and both of you should be trying to hit that buzzer as fast as humanly possible. The Jeopardy Dump Him buzzer.

Yup. Cameras? Really. Stranger bed fucking? Mhmm.

Tell ya what, my criteria for trusting someone is not to sleep with them first, and then see if they behave on camera when I'm away.

 

[CristianoRonaldo]

Main point, I would bash his face off with a fire extinguisher. (No, I'm not a violent person, it just a violent image to what I would be feeling inside.)
I do not ever look lightly at cheating. It is one of the highest forms of disrespect for me.

But you also shouldn't invited him to move in if you didn't fully trusted him to begin with.

 

[Liam84215]

my two cents

you said he was goodlooking..well I remember a quote from Jawbreaker..i've kept it in mind ever since I heard it

"Sometimes even the sweetest candy can be sour as death inside"


Its normal to be heartbroken..you had a thing for him..but someone who is so easy to get it on w/ someone else..hes putting his life and yours in danger. Like everyone else said, be glad you found out his true colors now and not later when it may have been too late. But..still shocked at the security camera pointed at your bed..

 

[theFallenGod]

Yeah as much as I agree that this guy was an asshole... so are you. If you couldn't trust him you should have been upfront about it and not using secret cameras to spy on him.

Also jealousy is a sign of insecurity. Work on getting over that before you go into another relationship otherwise NO ONE is going to want to be with you unless its just to use you.

 

[altlover85]

I'm still unsure about why the cameras were there in the first place.

 

[Willie Boy]

Well I'll try to make this brief.

I have two security cameras installed in my house. One in the bedroom and one in the living room. My boyfriend who I will refer to as Rick lives with me. Rick is very hot. Has no trouble attracting men, and so I am (was) very lucky to have him as my boyfriend. But I am also a little jealous. I do get pissed off when he looks at other guys or other guys come up and talk to him while we are out, and he flirts with them. I wanted to try my best to hang on to him.

Anyway Rick doesn't know that I have two cameras in my house. They are hidden. I don't even use them all the time just when I go away for a while or something like that. But I kept that a secret. (He's only been living with me for 2 weeks).

On Friday of last week, Rick tells me that he will mow the grass and clean up around the house, because the stupid asshole does nothing all day but stay at the house and watch TV all day, while I go to work. He has no job. But he tells me he'll do this if....it would be okay if his buddy I'll refer to as Chris came over to help. (I have no idea who the fuck Chris is. He just said he was just a buddy and he "swears" there's nothing to worry about.) So yes, I made sure the cameras were on that day so I could see if I could "really" trust him.

And yep.... you already know where this is going. On the bedroom camera it captures Chris fucking my boyfriend in my house in MY OWN FUCKING BED!!! Rick also knew that the camera was there, because he was smiling and flipping the bird at the camera while he was having sex. Whether or not Chris knew about the damn camera I do not know.

So did he know or not know? You claim it both ways in this post. And since it appears he did know, as he was "flipping the bird" at the camera , I would assume it was his reaction to knowing he can't trust you. You were recording him without his permission (this is illegal in some places). You talk about not being able to trust him, but don't consider that he first discovered he couldn't trust you.

That said, I don't agree with the way he confronted you over it. You were both wrong.

So yes... I've been absolutely heartbroken. I've cried and been depressed. I made Rick move out. He's moved back in with his parents. But this dumbass calls me the next day and acts like nothing happen and all.

He says, " Are you not going to let me move back in?"

I say,"I got you on camera getting fucked by some other guy in my bed, you dumb motherfucker!!! And you even knew you were being filmed!"

He says, "Oh my God, why don't you just get over it. I don't even love him. He just wanted some attention. Why are you acting this way? I thought you would get off on it?"

So yeah, I know my story is crazy, it was the cruelest thing to do to someone you love, but the truth is I would be lying if I said that I didn't think about him. I am just so heartbroken right now. I thought this was the right guy for me. Dumb question maybe but......... What the hell should I do?

I would appreciate any advice anyone may have. Thank you for reading.

PS. Uh..... Should I post the video on here??? lol.

I would say its time to move on. Neither one of you trusts the other, how can you have a healthy relationship? Just chalk it up to a lesson learned about being trustworthy yourself if you are going to demand it of others.

P.S. At least he did it in your "fucking bed" as opposed to your "sleeping bed".

 

[altlover85]

What I meant was, why would there be cameras facing the bed?

 

[innocentbychoice]

Well I'll try to make this brief.

I have two security cameras installed in my house. One in the bedroom and one in the living room. My boyfriend who I will refer to as Rick lives with me. Rick is very hot. Has no trouble attracting men, and so I am (was) very lucky to have him as my boyfriend. But I am also a little jealous. I do get pissed off when he looks at other guys or other guys come up and talk to him while we are out, and he flirts with them. I wanted to try my best to hang on to him.

Anyway Rick doesn't know that I have two cameras in my house. They are hidden. I don't even use them all the time just when I go away for a while or something like that. But I kept that a secret. (He's only been living with me for 2 weeks).

On Friday of last week, Rick tells me that he will mow the grass and clean up around the house, because the stupid asshole does nothing all day but stay at the house and watch TV all day, while I go to work. He has no job. But he tells me he'll do this if....it would be okay if his buddy I'll refer to as Chris came over to help. (I have no idea who the fuck Chris is. He just said he was just a buddy and he "swears" there's nothing to worry about.) So yes, I made sure the cameras were on that day so I could see if I could "really" trust him.

And yep.... you already know where this is going. On the bedroom camera it captures Chris fucking my boyfriend in my house in MY OWN FUCKING BED!!! Rick also knew that the camera was there, because he was smiling and flipping the bird at the camera while he was having sex. Whether or not Chris knew about the damn camera I do not know.

So yes... I've been absolutely heartbroken. I've cried and been depressed. I made Rick move out. He's moved back in with his parents. But this dumbass calls me the next day and acts like nothing happen and all.

He says, " Are you not going to let me move back in?"

I say,"I got you on camera getting fucked by some other guy in my bed, you dumb motherfucker!!! And you even knew you were being filmed!"

He says, "Oh my God, why don't you just get over it. I don't even love him. He just wanted some attention. Why are you acting this way? I thought you would get off on it?"

So yeah, I know my story is crazy, it was the cruelest thing to do to someone you love, but the truth is I would be lying if I said that I didn't think about him. I am just so heartbroken right now. I thought this was the right guy for me. Dumb question maybe but......... What the hell should I do?

I would appreciate any advice anyone may have. Thank you for reading.

PS. Uh..... Should I post the video on here??? lol.

Well you can trust me (as it happened to me). I got cheated, I forgave my bf but it was never the same. I found out about some other stuff he did that I didn't know about.

Long story short: Move on. As hard as that can be, you'll be better off alone.

 

[sniper90]

Well I'll try to make this brief.

I have two security cameras installed in my house. One in the bedroom and one in the living room. My boyfriend who I will refer to as Rick lives with me. Rick is very hot. Has no trouble attracting men, and so I am (was) very lucky to have him as my boyfriend. But I am also a little jealous. I do get pissed off when he looks at other guys or other guys come up and talk to him while we are out, and he flirts with them. I wanted to try my best to hang on to him.

Anyway Rick doesn't know that I have two cameras in my house. They are hidden. I don't even use them all the time just when I go away for a while or something like that. But I kept that a secret. (He's only been living with me for 2 weeks).

On Friday of last week, Rick tells me that he will mow the grass and clean up around the house, because the stupid asshole does nothing all day but stay at the house and watch TV all day, while I go to work. He has no job. But he tells me he'll do this if....it would be okay if his buddy I'll refer to as Chris came over to help. (I have no idea who the fuck Chris is. He just said he was just a buddy and he "swears" there's nothing to worry about.) So yes, I made sure the cameras were on that day so I could see if I could "really" trust him.

And yep.... you already know where this is going. On the bedroom camera it captures Chris fucking my boyfriend in my house in MY OWN FUCKING BED!!! Rick also knew that the camera was there, because he was smiling and flipping the bird at the camera while he was having sex. Whether or not Chris knew about the damn camera I do not know.

So yes... I've been absolutely heartbroken. I've cried and been depressed. I made Rick move out. He's moved back in with his parents. But this dumbass calls me the next day and acts like nothing happen and all.

He says, " Are you not going to let me move back in?"

I say,"I got you on camera getting fucked by some other guy in my bed, you dumb motherfucker!!! And you even knew you were being filmed!"

He says, "Oh my God, why don't you just get over it. I don't even love him. He just wanted some attention. Why are you acting this way? I thought you would get off on it?"

So yeah, I know my story is crazy, it was the cruelest thing to do to someone you love, but the truth is I would be lying if I said that I didn't think about him. I am just so heartbroken right now. I thought this was the right guy for me. Dumb question maybe but......... What the hell should I do?

I would appreciate any advice anyone may have. Thank you for reading.

PS. Uh..... Should I post the video on here??? lol.

SCREW HIM
If someone cheated on me, I'd dump them. That's just very pathetic of him.
I'm sure you're smexy and such a nice guy, but he probably thinks he is so hot he can take advantage of you.
You said he is a lazy ass who doesn't work. You deserve better. He seems very cheeky if he still had sex knowing about the camera.

So yeah, if you post the video, it's your way of getting revenge ;D MOVE ON MATE

 

[jubalon]

I'm calling it.

10char

 

[lunarus]

Okay first a few questions to clarify some points here...

Why in hell do you have a hidden camera in the living room and bedroom? Right there it shows others how paranoid/distrusting of others you can be? I mean come on, really the bedroom? Do you tape sex with others on a regular basis. Why do you have one there?

No I am not making a judgment call here, just calling it as I see it.

And remember if you feel the need to spy on those you date, you need to start dating different men.

NO, gay men have the same cheat rate as straight men. It is largely due to availability and personality type and relationship.

Move on please, it sounds like there wasn't an equal relationship to begin with. You sounded a bit resentful about him not having a job and lying about and all.

Don't call him or keep in contact with him if it continues to pick at the scab. There is nothing wrong with cutting someone off completely.

And finally no matter how hot someone looks, if I cannot see them as equal there is no way in HELL I would bother to date them let alone invite them to live with me. It kinda sounded like a you were so flattered that someone so hot to you was into you , you overlooked everything else. Work on your self esteem and know you are worth much more in this life time than just a pretty face.

 

[rareboy]

^ I'm still calling it.

 

[Croynan]

dump him and they examine why you need to have video cameras in your house.

trust issues maybe?

eM

 

[texan_slant]

Break up the train wreck, fo' sure.

 

[altlover85]

CoolKid77, what's up with the cameras though? Why not just get a security system?

 

[Nomenclature]

I am trying to move on.

"Do or do not; there is no try." - Jedi Master Yoda

 

[rareboy]

I am trying to move on.

From this 'experience' or just this thread?

 

[MercuryJones]

This is pretty fucked up.

You say you're not sure if you're gay, and say you're single, then say you have a boyfriend who lives with you, say you own your own home and also say you live in your mother's house.

By the way, it's illegal in Florida to videotape someone without their knowledge. But that's only a problem in real life.

 

[BostonPirate]

I now live in Seattle.

so you changed the story for a fifth time now.

what is the game buddy?