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You are not out of the closet,but ...

D

darklide634

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You are not out of the closet,but you want to have a relationship with someone of the same sex, so how do you go about doing that?
 
Guess you'll have to make room in that closet for him...
 
The reason why I ask is because I am not too sure if I want to be with a man or a woman.
 
Well, another reason not to involve other people in it. This isn't science lab, you can't experiment with people who might end up having feelings for you. Sexuality might be fluid, but it's not THAT hard to know what your dick points to. So figure it out, come out if it's guys, and then think about relationships.
 
I`m not out either !
Its very frustrating !
 
Then come out as bi. As long as he has to be a secret, it's unhealthy for both of you, and unfair to him.

If anyone needs advice on coming out, I'd be happy to help, just pm me or post a topic about it.
 
Rolyo85 said:
Then come out as bi. As long as he has to be a secret, it's unhealthy for both of you, and unfair to him.

If anyone needs advice on coming out, I'd be happy to help, just pm me or post a topic about it.
Click to expand...

Haha he wouldn't be a secret.
 
darklide634 said:
Haha he wouldn't be a secret.
Click to expand...

You do know, don't you, that there is no such thing as a two-man closet? You live in there alone. It's a dark and lonely place. Each man has his own closet, if he so chooses. Don't try to squeeze a bf in there...he will suffocate.
 
darklide634 said:
Isn't that the whole point.
Click to expand...

I am very confused. All of this makes you not in the closet. Or do you mean to have the boyfriend IN ORDER to come out? Because if so, I've always firmly believed that's the wrong way to go about it.

If you are uncertain as to what you like, then that's what you should come out as - possibly bisexual. That will also make it easier on your parents as you won't flat out say you're gay. Once you're out, you have a ton of available outlets to meet guys.
 
To be direct in answering your question, you can go on a dating or hookup site like a4a, look for another closeted guy who also wants to try a relationship, and go from there.
 
First off, I often read on this board but haven't posted in a long time.

I can say this much; I did meet a guy on G** dot com back about 9 years ago - that was a year after I had first ever dated a guy (yah one of those guys born before 1980 who couldn't ever really accept that I was gay/Bi until I finally just said I gotta try this).


This guy that I dated probably steadily for about a year was more out than me, and more feminine etc.


Long story short is that there are ways to meet guys though now adays I'm a bit more guarded using online dating. I haven't really used any sites in years and though I'm very keen to be with a guy again.

The other night I had this intense dream about some guy (I can't for the life of me remember who it was I was with in the dream), but just someone I think was a friend or Str8 friend I was hoping would be gay, and in the dream he showed interest and I finally got to make out with him (in the dream).

It got me thinking the other day how it sucks as a gay guy to not be able to just go up to a guy like a guy goes to a girl and strike up a conversation with a hope of maybe being able to date the guy. If you're str8, and you go to a girl, it's not out of the question for you to hope to maybe want to date the girl (yes I went through the whole thing of trying to be str8).

But for example I see a guy the other day I'm into, and 1) I have to try to guess if he is gay - and chances are based on #'s that he isn't, but 2) If I take the chance not knowing and I'm wrong, I make an awkward situation.

I know some would say go where there's the gay people but sometimes people don't want to be into the "Scene"

So I can hear the frustration at times of finding a gay guy if you don't want to be out. It is very challenging.


BTW if anyone wants to see some yummy fit guys, check out the DAVIS CUP coverage; in Canada its on Sportsnet; saw some today I just wish some of those Canadian guys were gay and single and looking - don't know the name of the one guy I saw but yum!!! When I was younger I couldn't figure out if I was attracted to fit guys because I wanted to be like them or I wanted them; now I know it's both but more because I want them I guess...lol
 
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