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You Get The Movie and I Will Get Dinner

Danugh

Danugh

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What the hell?

I just met this man online and we were talking, getting to know each other, then he suggested we go see a movie, then he says, better yet how about we get something to eat either before or after the movie.

So i say, sounds good. Then he says, "you can get the movie and i will get dinner."

What the hell?

I don't think so. Some of you might say thats reasonable, but i didn't see it that way. He invited me out and then switches it up on me.

I just remembered that i have other plans tomorrow(whether i did or not) and then he said so what about Monday, i say ok we will see how it goes, but that aint going to happen.

I would have no problem if he paid for his ticket and i paid for mine and then we just split dinner 50/50, but why the hell i must pay for his movie tickets, i don't even know him. And he isn't even that hot.

There are rules right, someone invites you out, they pay or you agree to split it 50/50 is all i'm saying.
 
Some people are weird like that ... to suggest such a dutch split is at best a little weird but everyone is different.

I'm pretty independent and I pay my own way as much as possible, but when the other insists on paying, all I do is appreciate. And when I am the inviter, I insist on it being my treat unless the other has a problem with it.

So, Newboy - you're thinking is legit.
 
Umm, I think dinner may cost more than two movie tickets.

Just go with the flow.
 
Order something really expensive at dinner and then see if he suggests it again. Haha.
 
you may have had a good point if it were a formal invitation. but someone suggesting a first time hookup activity is hardly a formal invitation. somebody has to initiate a suggestion; you can't always expect somebody pay for everything for you just because they suggested something.

there is no official 50/50 rule. his suggestion is very common. I think you are being a bit harsh to a guy that sounds like he is interested in you. it's not like he was asking for your bank account number.
 
Sounds like you're getting the best deal there.

I wouldn't hold it against him, if anything it's a nice gesture, he'll be spending more money but you get to spend some so you don't feel like his hand-bag for the night.
 
He might have been testing the waters and wanting to evaluate your reply.
We've read enough stories to know there are a fair amount of hustlers/users on hook-up sites.
This could be his way of screening out the con men.
Your reaction might have sent up a red flag to a possibly intelligent and interesting potential partner.
 
I see nothing wrong with "going Dutch" and splitting things, or each paying their own way. Especially on a first date. It puts things on a more even footing, rather that "I took YOU out, so YOU owe me 'something' ".
 
Umm.......

Movie tickets are a lot cheaper than dinner, just fyi.

Maybe he was trying to be nice????
 
I assume from history and impending book that this guy is straight in which case it would seem more than fair. Even if he were Gay on a first meet I would expect to pay my way. The whole purpose is for both of you to get to know each other, not a romantic date, you both stand to gain and it is reasonable to share the cost.
 
He might have said, "I'll pick up the tab for everything"...in which case you might've said, "Oh, I see. He thinks if he pays for everything, he can do whatever he wants to me later."

He might have said, "Let's split everything 50/50"...in which case you might've said, "What kind of cheap motherfucker is this? You don't ask someone out on a date, then make him pay?"

Offering to pick up dinner - almost certainly the more expensive of the two items - sounds like he was trying to take care of any potential misunderstandings, so there wouldn't be any awkward "who pays" moments at the restaurant or movie theater. At least that's how I would've read it. But if you want to label him a cheapskate and tell him to go fuck himself, that's your choice.

Lex
 
I tend to agree.... I think his suggestion is more than fair. Personally, I've never had the "who's paying" discussion before the bill came. Then there is always the "no, I'll pay" back and forth and eventually somebody pays and nobody worries about it.

As pointed out, dinner is more expensive than a movie ticket (unless you're going to taco bell) so I'd just let it slide and not worry about who's paying. He took the more expensive half.... so what's the big deal?
 
Was your brain operating slowly? Why didn't (or don't) you simply say to him what you've written here?

I applaud your willingness to actually meet up with someone whom you don't think 'is that hot' - but if you're looking for some sort of relationship and this is the level of your clarity and response when issues regarding money, sharing and compromise arise then you might be better off staying home.
 
What the hell, why are you complaining. Dinner would equal more money. He probably was just being nice.
 
maybe by you getting the movie and him getting the dinner, he was sort of implying that its not an official date, so you shouldn't feel any pressure to do anything...

i mean, you just met him online, you dont even know him, maybe he just wants to start out as friends and see how it goes from there...
 
I also notice That, characteristically, there is no response from you to our well meant replies.
 
Sounds like a tasteful way of going Dutch, avoiding the annoying splitting of the bill and such. If anything it says the guy doesn't want to control you and cares about making your time together go smoothly. If you're looking to be someone's kept boy, maybe you should tell the guy up front...

I always sort out who's paying up front--don't like squabbling over who gets to pick up the tab in public.

What really sucks is that you said you're still game for meeting him when it ain't gonna happen... that's pretty lame man.

<sorry in advance, but yes found the original post very annoying... in a pissy mood... i want a smoke sooooo f'ing bad right now>
 
Gee, I have no means of reading this other dude's mind. But I can share something of a personal experience with you.

If I am chatting up a dude, whom I'd consider passable but not really very hot, more like just shaggable on a rainy day, I'd make sure, he understands that all goes Dutch or that he has to pay for the most part. (I see no big reason to take up any expenditure upon me. Why should I? The dude isn't that hot to start with.)

So, a question to our Newboy12 here: What, if this dude finds you well, you know, not that hot at all, but just passable? Like on a rainy night? So, he does not want to put any major cash into meeting up with you?

Just a question?

SC
 
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