The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

young male relationships?

1

18aussieboi

Virgin
Joined
Oct 20, 2007
Posts
27
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Location
Brisbane
first of all some background....well i went to an all boys school in queensland in oz. i knew i was gay in year 8 when i first started goin there...i dont know if all the boys made me relise or not but yeah.
at this school it was mainly sports orientated, and im not real sporty so not fitting in was a problem and if anyone knew i was gay there was no chance in surviving....thoughout my time there up until i graduated last year i constantly had guys to perv on and fantasise about but could never tell or have!...

recently my best friend stayed with me for a week and i started to feel strange things for him...i dont know what it was...but i know i shouldnt think of him in any other way. he doesnt know im gay so it makes it harder for me....

the whole time he stayed with me i just gazed at him....i know his straight as...cuz he loves his gf very much...but i have this unhealthy attraction to him...just they way he looks and walks and even smells....i cant think of him like this cuz he is my best friend and i cant ruin that....if he wasnt in my life i dont know what i'd do?

can any one give any advice as to what to do...should i try and focus my attraction to someone else or not??

help me??? please!oops!
 
i would try to focus ur attraction on someone else immediately. falling for ur str8 best friend is one of the worst things you can do and will only end in disaster.
 
WOAH! This is me! I'm in grade 12 on the northside of Brisbane and am currently sturggling with feelings for my best mate. I must agree that there is some seriously good perve at some of those private schools ahhahaha. Anyway, with my mate, I still want to be best mates with him and I have every intention of coming out to him very soon to clear the air and the way I look at it is if he accepts me things will be different cause it won't be a secret vice or perve because he would be off limits ... if that makes sense. I have been struggling with it and it is so hard so GOOD LUCK! but if it is getting to heavy start directing affection elsewhere. Does it make you jealous to see him with his gf?
 
>>>should i try and focus my attraction to someone else or not??

Or not? You mean, continue mooning over your best friend, thereby putting your relationship in serious jeopardy, continuing to fantasize about a relationship that can never be, and negating the chances of having a relationship with anyone else?

The choice should be fairly obvious, should it not?

If you find yourself mooning over him again, cut it short. Remind yourself he's your friend, like a brother, and no more.

Lex
 
If he's straight...............run now.

Treat him as a friend, maybe tell him you are gay if you can trust him and then do not make any sexual move.

Get out there and find other guys. Usually a crush is just the result of limited exposure to other gay experiences.
 
Sometimes the lines between friendship and attraction get blurred. It happens. However, you have to look at the facts: you're gay, he's straight with a girlfriend. It's good that you realize you don't want anything to damage your friendship. Choosing to tell him that you are gay is really not the issue. Choosing to remain in control of your feelings IS. You can't allow yourself to moon over him to the point of obsession. I think one of the reasons the attraction for him is so strong is because you truly love him as a friend. Don't freak out about your feelings and don't act on them, either.
Recognize the boundaries and decide to keep yourself under control. Whatever you have to do to keep this control, you will have to do until you can trust yourself not to make a big mistake. Hopefully, he will be the kind of friend who understands this kind of thing.
You are young and will have lots of attractions. Maybe the next one will return your feelings.

For now, relax and don't sweat it.
 
thanx everyone....i am glad for all your help and comments....

i know he doesnt mind gays cuz he has told me himself....cuz of a girl telling everyone in my year i was gay...they didnt believe it but that doesnt matter...

he has told me he doesnt mind gay guys as long as they dont hit on him....and i dont do that. thanx "sixthson" i think your right....i think it is love for him as a friend...and thats the ay im goin to continue seeing it....and im coming out to him soon....i just have to choose the right time.

thanx again guys
 
rareboy said:
If he's straight...............run now.

Usually a crush is just the result of limited exposure to other gay experiences.
Click to expand...

Leave it to rareboy to utter the absolute truth!

I think crushes in your late teens / early 20s are more devastating simply because it is an emotion you have not had to deal with in your pre-pubescent years.

Like a muscle, an emotion needs to be trained and shaped, and that takes time and practice. Sexual feelings are incredibly strong, as is the need to bond. No wonder many confuse friendship and sex!
 
I've been there before. Went to two all boys high schools in Melbourne. Had a crush on a guy who's really nice and cute too. I also checked other guys out in the change rooms when we all got changed for PE classes. My favourite time was when we had waterpolo lessons ;)
 
LoL another private school kid here from NSW, back in school I fell in love with a best friend, I dont recommend it.

Now days I have a different best mate and I know that I would never risk what I've got with him for anything, so love is totally outta the question, I love him like a brother and that's all, and that'll all that it'll ever be because I know and I learnt I will lose my friend if I fall for him
 
The more and more threads I read on it here, the more I think it's a "rite of passage" in the gay community; falling in love with a straight guy.

As many previous posters have said, stay away at all costs. So many ways for it to all end badly. Don't feel bad that you have those feelings. I think nearly all gay guys fall in love with a straight guys once, admit that love to them and then the heartbreak insues and finally learn their lesson and (hopefully) never make it again.
 
I'm concerned about the after effects of having to repress erotic feelings so strongly in your early years. Your comments about gazing at him and noticing his smell suggest to me that you have begun to fetishise men because they are 'forbidden fruit'. I urge you to seek out some sexual interactions with other gay young men who are actually able to respond to you physically or you may discover that the habit of repressing sexual feelings spills over into repression of other emotions and natural responses. Your aim should be for a life not of frustration but of celebration and satisfaction.
 
theoretically: what if you tell your friend "I am gay and I am attracted to you. I want to stop this attraction and not to go with it any further, as I know you are straight and have a relationship. And I am saying this as a step towards stopping this attraction."

First I imagine you would never say it to your friend, but theoretically if one could say that, will it help ? As in now two people will be watching out for things not to get far and avoiding the hurt.
 
chrisdobro said:
theoretically: what if you tell your friend "I am gay and I am attracted to you. I want to stop this attraction and not to go with it any further, as I know you are straight and have a relationship. And I am saying this as a step towards stopping this attraction."

First I imagine you would never say it to your friend, but theoretically if one could say that, will it help ? As in now two people will be watching out for things not to get far and avoiding the hurt.
Click to expand...

Having done so before, I can honestly say no. Once that hint of knowledge about an attraction goes into his mind, he becomes aware of it and bonding in any way becomes extremely awkward to the point where you wish you had not said anything at all. It is a catch 22 for you in this situation.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top