Your darkest hours?

[Pushyourluck]

In terms of depression, my darkest hour was when a friend of mine suddenly passed away. I'd seen her not a week before the car accident and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I wouldn't leave the house, would only eat takeaway pizza, drink alcohol all day and night. I wasn't a pretty site!

People around me were going through similiar emotions and that realization brought it home to me that I wasn't the only one feeling this way. I had to take a grip on reality and pull myself out of the "darkness".

 

[catbox_911]

From 9/9 of this year to the present. Since my dad died I haven't found myself particularly excited about much of anything. I started my first post-college job 3 days after his funeral and things were a little better as I was trying to learn a new job but now that I'm pretty adjusted to the job I feel a lot worse again.

The last few weeks notwithstanding, I don't really have anything worth noting.

 

[Fire]

The time I didn't make the debate team tryouts in highschool

 

[Horschallen]

I have had a number of episodes triggered by different reasons, such as a relationship that did not develop, loss of employment, difficult employees I supervised, stakeholders that made work difficult for me, etc.

We all experience dark phases at different times in our lives. Professional help is never a bad idea.

Best of luck as you navigate your way through this hard time, and remember to love yourself first.

 

[versa39]

2000 thru 2008...then there came a new dawn.

 

[unloadonme]

I have absolutely no doubt that my darkest hours are still in front of me.

 

[DonQuixote]

To All posting here,
I've already shared my darkest time.
One thing I've noticed from a few of the threads is the glimmer of light that they've also found.

It's important for all to remember that there are better times to be had.
Talk to anyone you can who will allow you to -- it is very cathartic.

Yes, I overdid/chose a wrong person to fall in a pit over; that doesn't matter.
There were people around me who did give a damn. They made all the difference.

Talking can include writing and sharing or not - this thread is a great place to begin to bare your soul.

A very interesting statement was made by one of our posters when he said he wrote it down and it was one of the best papers he'd ever written. We tend to write best about those things that mean the most to us - it's where our passion lies.

So, I encourage one and all to do just that - write and write and write some more. Use this thread as a self-help forum.

Then get up off your backsides, go out into the world, and face it head on.
There are a lot of good people and things out there, if you open yourself up to them.

No, Life's not easy or fair. There are no guarantees. Some people are prejudiced asses. We all probably are on one subject or another.

You might get hurt again/some more -- those are the chances you take.
BUT, WHEN you connect with someone, whether it be platonic face to face or here, or something more, it's worth it.

You can't get the brass ring unless you grab for it.

I've had plenty of black times in my life, but I refuse to be sucked up by it.
Do the same. Fight Back. Give us all Hell.

I mean all of this sincerely.
Life IS worth living -- LIVE it. Don't just watch it pass you by.

I'm not belittling your pain. I know the depths of despair, I've been there.
It's better when you're actively fighting back.

Go get 'em!

 

[acrobat7]

Been there, done it. Optimism is greatly overrated and the power of positive thinking will just upset you. People are so afraid of the dark. Sometimes you just need to go there. Sometimes you just have to not be afraid of the bad feelings and the sadness. This is a time when new messages, and new directions can arrive. But in time. Don't rush it. You can't rush it.

 

[DonQuixote]

I understand what you're saying, and I spent plenty in the dark.
I'm just reminding people not to succumb to it --
there's lots better places, people, things in the light.

Fight to get there if you have to, but get back there.

 

[thisisinteresting]

Middle school. Hands down. Kids are fucking brutal at that age. Thought about killing myself a couple times (not too serious of a plan, just crossed my mind).

 

[Horschallen]

Optimism is greatly overrated and the power of positive thinking will just upset you.

Thank you for validating this same sentiment I have had for a long time!

 

[xseeker69]

The three years of middle school. I sometimes have nightmares of it even now. Bullies, huge weight gains, falling grades, and an abusive parent had me skipping classes and on the edge of a nervous breakdown. I was falling into a pit of despair. But I wasn't alone. I had a friend through grade school that I loved as a brother and two female cousins. Some spark inside of me made me claw my way out of that pit. And it worked! High school was like heaven in comparison to middle school.

Perhaps the dark times came later. It started in the fall of 2000. By a cruel, vicious quirk of fate, I lost my job and insurance and fell into a deep brooding depression. Out of that depression came something even worse: diabetes. Two crummy jobs later and the lousy insurance from the crummy job, I'm in a sort of limbo. I go through the motions, but not really living. Just simply existing. I lost contact with my best friend a few years after high school and as for my cousins, one passed away from cancer and I haven't seen the other one in years. I'm introverted, insecure and paranoid and nearly unable to speak to people. Afraid to reach out and yet desperately wanting to. Also wanting to meet the man of my dreams. I might still be in my darkest hours. it does help to write it out like this.

To all of you others that are in similar pits, there's always hope. Look within yourselves and find that spark to make you claw out of it. Good luck!

 

[teadrinker]

Mid 20's for me (I'm now 49) - finished my first degree, wasn't getting anywhere fast with my Master's degree, had no relationships aside from very short ones, spaced far apart, my father had slid so far down the slope of alcoholism I couldn't be with him... I found psychotherapy helpful. A few years of analysis seemed to work for me, though it's not for everyone. I went through a bad patch a few years ago as well, and found the combination of anti-depressants and the occasional chat with a clinical psychologist helpful.

I would STRONGLY recommend finding somebody to talk to. It needn't be a professional; just somebody preferably outside your immediate circle.

There's always help. Message me if you need to.

-T.