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Your least favorite hymns

Harke the Boeotarch

Dreams Wash Away
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I made a thread about your favorite hymns earlier, now I'm making one about hymns and religious songs you dislike and why.



This one is called "Stil Maar, Wacht Maar" which means "be silent, wait, everything becomes new.". I always thought that is a somewhat inappropriate sentiment for someone with the power of a Dutch Protestant.



Lord of the Dance

"I danced for the scribe and the Pharisee,
But they would not dance and they would not follow me;"

So they got killed. At least in Europe.

Which hymns do you dislike, for their unfortunate implications, misconstruction of your religion or otherwise?
 
"In the Bleak Midwinter" tops the list.

In the bleak midwinter
Frosty wind made moan,

Earth stood hard as iron,

Water like a stone;

Snow had fallen,

Snow on snow,

Snow on snow,

In the bleak midwinter,

Long ago.


Look, I understand the "winter" symbolism as it relates to a barren landscape awaiting a savior. But your average church-goer sings this first stanza thinking snow was falling outside the f***** manger as the Wise Men put gifts under a Christmas tree and everybody drank hot cider as somebody said, "Look what Jesus got for Christmas! Gold, frankincense, AND myrrh!"

Ah, no, it does not snow where Jesus was born, and most historians think he was born in August anyway. And by the way, Jesus looks a lot more like "Arabs" than "Americans" who shovel snow. Hymns like this only do disservice, no pun intended. Plus, it's just plain dreary. Gets no worse than this.
 
And the gold, frankincense, and myrrh are all components of the preparations of a royal corpse for burial. That part of the nativity narrative was foreshadowing his death.

I hate the one that goes "In him there is no darkness at all, the day and the night are both alike" because it implies that darkness and night are somehow bad.
 
As an organist, there's plenty of hymns I love and don't love. Many (really too numerous to mention) in the newest ELCA Lutheran hymnal look like they could have been written by first year composition students--poor quality and much too simple. I cannot stand the tune Festal Song, which is often paired with the words "Rise Up O Men of God" or "Arise Your Light Has Come".

In the Bleak Midwinter is especially poignant for those of us in cold climates (Minnesota), and originated in Northern Europe, where the "arbitrary" placement of Christmas falls near the shortest day of the year. Christ's arrival is not only salvation, but "a light to lighten the darkness". Yes, it's quite a downer, but it's very very moving.
I hate the one that goes "In him there is no darkness at all, the day and the night are both alike" because it implies that darkness and night are somehow bad.

That would be I Want to Walk as a Child of the Light.
 
Just about anything written during the Victoria era. One that comes readily to mind:

Within the churchyard side by side,
are many long, low graves;
and some have stones set over them,
on some the green grass waves.

Full many a little Christian child
woman and man lies there,
and we pass by them every time,
when we go in to prayer.

They cannot hear our footsteps come,
they cannot see us pass;
they cannot feel the warm bright sun
that shines upon the grass.

They do not hear when the great bell
is ringing overhead;
they cannot rise and come to church
with us, for they are dead.
...


(Though it was dropped from the Anglican hymn books in the 1930s, it is still sung at a lot of funerals in Newfoundland)
 
That would be I Want to Walk as a Child of the Light.

Yeah, that one. *gag* Often used as a Procession to the Font hymn.

You know what? I don't like any hymn that uses the name 'Jesus' more than once, and I especially hate the ones that use it more than once in one verse.

Why yes, I do hate Gospel music, why do you ask? ;)
 
I loathe almost any hymn written after 1960.

But isn't it interesting, In the Bleak Midwinter is one of my favourite tunes at Christmas.
 
"Onward Christian Soldiers" and "The Son of God Goes Forth to War" and all the others which give the faith a military garb are garbage to me. And, the theology is warped and plain "God Awful."

But, why the interest in the "least favorite"? Wouldn't knowing the "most favorite" tell us more?
 
^ I have to agree. Militant hymns make my skin crawl.

But they were probably just the ticket in the two World Wars.
 
"Onward Christian Soldiers" and "The Son of God Goes Forth to War" and all the others which give the faith a military garb are garbage to me. And, the theology is warped and plain "God Awful."

But, why the interest in the "least favorite"? Wouldn't knowing the "most favorite" tell us more?

^ I have to agree. Militant hymns make my skin crawl.

But they were probably just the ticket in the two World Wars.

I agree, generally. Exception, though: Britten's "This Little Babe," which arguably isn't a hymn. Those words could easily be set as one though. I picked the YouTube below, where TLB starts at 1:04, because it has the text on the screen.

 
A revived thread! Very nice. I'm another person who can't stand "In the Bleak Midwinter." This Minnesotan echoes the comment about it being dreary. I guess I just prefer a tune that is more upbeat at Christmas.

I will add that any of the contemporary "hymns" (choruses, really) are far worse. Those seem to be nothing more than repeating the same trite line five or six times.

riffer81
 
I'm also a church musician and actually like "In The Bleak Midwinter" - it has a certain sad, "wintery" feel to it. The two songs I can't stand, and one has to hold a gun to my head to play are: 1. "He Touched Me" (Just creepy), and 2, "Jesus Loves Me This I know, for the Bible Tells me so..." - simply inane. The Bible tells us LOTS of things, not all of which (not much of which) is accurate in any literal sense.
 
Amazing Grace - Because it makes no sense. Has anyone ever heard the "sound" of grace? I doubt it. How can it sound sweet? It is a stupid song and one invented to give black women the chsnce to show they know how to scream rather than an actual hymn. My opinon only of course...
 
As an organist, there's plenty of hymns I love and don't love. Many (really too numerous to mention) in the newest ELCA Lutheran hymnal look like they could have been written by first year composition students--poor quality and much too simple. I cannot stand the tune Festal Song, which is often paired with the words "Rise Up O Men of God" or "Arise Your Light Has Come".



you can't stand Festal Song? I love that tune! And it has been Rise up O Men of God since the SBH; the LBW says Rise up O saints of God and it continues as such in ELW.

Anything to the tune Beecher, I cannot stand.
 
I guess "Oh Come, All Ye Faithful".

I learned to sing it in Latin (Adeste Fidelis). Which was much preferable...
 
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