Your love live in Tech/IT terms

[Corny]

Describe your love life in tech or IT terms
Ok this is more of a F&G kind of thread, but it would not really work in F&G And it doesn't really need to be "your" love life, it's the joke that counts

Let me start with a few

503 - Service unavailable

DDoS (all holes and hands filled from different guys )

"Please restart the system"

 

[andysayshi]

404 - Not Found

 

[techboywi]

500 - Internal Server Error

 

[torand]

Well considering I just got out of a relationship...

"301 Moved Permanently"

 

[trinket]

"This device will perform faster with a high-speed host controller."

 

[davy]

[davy@computer ~]$ yum search boyfriend

===== Matched: boyfriend ====
boyfriend.i386

[davy@computer ~]$ yum install boyfriend

Loaded plugins: refresh-packagekit
Setting up Install Process
Parsing package install arguments
Package boyfriend.i386 depends good-looks-libs
Nothing to do

[davy@computer ~]$ yum provides good-looks-libs

Loaded plugins: refresh-packagekit
Warning: this library is not installable on this system
No Matches found

[davy@computer ~]$ ssh blueballs@fuckbuddy

 

[Corny]

date
unzip
finger
mount
eject
uptime
9incherStar@bottomslut~$ uptime
>10:52PM up 25minutes, 2 users, load averages: 1.0

 

[looseliam]

route
nice
gawk
expand
make clean
touch
more

307
405/406

 

[evilest]

"I can't do that, Dave"

 

[looseliam]

Found this today at work:

Unix SEX :{ look; gawk; find; sed; talk; grep; touch; finger; find; flex; unzip; head; tail; mount; workbone; fsck; yes; gasp; fsck; more; yes; yes; eject; umount; makeclean; zip; split; done; exitargs!!}

 

[Coffee]

while (still not shoot)
{

if (status == alone)​

masturbating();​

else // with another one​

if (status == top)
{

pushing();
moaning();​

}
else // status == bottom
{

opening_wide();
moaning();
looking_into_his_eyes();
making_nice_compliment();​

}​

if (feeling == bored)

change_position();​

if(about to shoot)

break;​

}

close_eyes();
shoot();
moan('oh yeah');
kiss_him();

 

[davy]

while (still not shoot)
{

if (status == alone)​

masturbating();​

else // with another one​

if (status == top)
{

pushing();
moaning();​

}
else // status == bottom
{

opening_wide();
moaning();
looking_into_his_eyes();
making_nice_compliment();​

}​

if (feeling == bored)

change_position();​

if(about to shoot)

break;​

}

close_eyes();
shoot();
moan('oh yeah');
kiss_him();

rotflmao

 

[AdmiraalW238]

while (still not shoot)
{

if (status == alone)​

masturbating();​

else // with another one​

if (status == top)
{

pushing();
moaning();​

}
else // status == bottom
{

opening_wide();
moaning();
looking_into_his_eyes();
making_nice_compliment();​

}​

if (feeling == bored)

change_position();​

if(about to shoot)

break;​

}

close_eyes();
shoot();
moan('oh yeah');
kiss_him();

Bloody brilliant ... best laugh I have had all day