Your opinions...

[Inevitable2012]

Okay, so I told my Mom about me being gay back in December... right before Christmas. At first I thought she'd be okay with it but the next following days I'd come home and find her laying on the couch with red, puffy eyes watching TV... and we'd talk about it. So pretty much, she told me she doesn't believe me...

I've never had a girlfriend, I've never been romantically or sexually interested in women... I've told her all this and she STILL doesn't believe me. I'm starting to notice that subconciously I'm beginning to resent her. Ever since I told her, I've began noticing that I've started to drift away from her. I've found the reason behind this is because I told her something very personal about me and she just says, "I don't believe you..."

I know it pains her to think about it but it's driving me insane knowing that she doesn't believe this about me. It doesn't help that my Dad is a homophobe, but I've never been close to him so his opinion of me doesn't matter to me as much as my mom's. She's told me she's worried that this will break the family up because her and my Dad have marital problems. Nothing horrible, they are just 2 different people living together in a house. In my opinion, they don't belong together AT ALL...

I feel though that she's the one that she has the potential to break the family up for good because she and I have always been close and to think that she doesn't believe me on something that's SO personal and coming from the heart... it pains me to say it but if she can't accept this, I don't want to have anything to do with her.

What do you guys think about this?

 

[G-Lexington]

I'd say you need to give this some more thought.

Yeah, it'd be great if your mother is totally accepting and understanding. But whether or not she is, you're still gay. If she wants to ask you every night if you have a girlfriend yet, or if you think that (actress) is pretty, that's her little delusional world she's chosen no move into. You've given her the facts, and it's up to her what to do with it. If she doesn't want to talk about it, then you don't talk about it with her - end of story. You don't have to make it a dramatic situation if you choose not to. Go out, be gay, date guys, fuck guys if you want. And don't talk about it with your mother if she doesn't want to talk about it.

Lex

 

[Inevitable2012]

Well, she NEVER talks about it anymore. She doesn't ask me about girlfriends or if I think so and so is pretty... she just chooses to ignore it.

 

[G-Lexington]

Then there you be. Don't talk about your relationships or sexual encounters with her anymore. Find other people to discuss that stuff with.

Lex

 

[Inevitable2012]

Okay, it's just we've always been close and the fact that we're drifting apart is hard to bare. Thanks Lex.

 

[G-Lexington]

There are certain things that I don't talk about with some of my friends. One of them hates contact sports, so I don't talk about how the Mammoth are doing with him. One isn't into music, so I don't bother mentioning how great that new CD is. Another can't stand politics, so I never mention anything political to her.

This doesn't make them bad people. It just means we don't have common ground there. I could FORCE my friend to listen to my sports stories, but I don't think that'd help the relationship any. He knows I like the team, but we simply don't discuss it.

Just consider this something your mother doesn't like to talk about. And go live your life.

Lex

 

[Inevitable2012]

Well, I've grown up in a Southern family learning that family is everything and it's really hard to think I may have to leave them behind...

 

[Lube]

I grew up in an Italian family, where family (and food!) is everything.

But before I came out, I had to come to grips with the fact that they might, indeed, abandon me.

It didn't happen that way, but I did steel myself for the possibility.

It's amazing how strong it makes you feel.

 

[phonex]

It sounds to me like the "You're not gay" friend is quite the jackass. My suggestion: tell them that it hurts you when they do all these things. If they continue, fuck them. Although this may be hard, it shows you have self-respect, a trait most people dont have. Good luck!