I went to the bathhouse in Tokyo, the first and only one I've been to. I'm not very turned-on by Asian guys and am also not very outgoing in public so I mainly went there out of curiosity. The staff at the check-in were very friendly. The washing up room where everyone would clean up with a seated shower had a lot of young to mid 30s Asian guys in it mainly. No one paid much attention to each other while they washed up. No sex of any kind in that room.
The rumor that guys will grab you to see if you fit the stereotype (Americans have bigger dicks) is true. There is a very dark room with extremely dim red lighting where most of the guys congregate where that happened a few times. The guys weren't polite about it, either. It was rough grabbing. I think someone must have told the group that I wasn't bigger than average so it stopped after about three different grabs. There was a group of young Asian men with fit bodies having sex in there and a lot of guys sleeping, lying there watching, or something. It was so dim that it was hard to see what was going on. The area where the guys were messing around was the most lit in the room. I'm not sure why people would want to try to watch much or sleep in there. The group broke up after a while and I wandered around the place more to see what else is happening.
One fairly small room had a large television and a row of futons with normal brightness lighting and two couples were having sex. One left when I entered and the other couple ignored me while I watched for a while. They were Asian and young. After a while they got tired of being watched and put a sheet over themselves while they fucked.
There was some gay porn showing on a TV in one room I think. The Japanese gay porn I've seen tends toward being rough and unpleasant, like there is overcompensation for a sense of lost masculinity. I haven't seen much, though, so maybe I just saw the wrong stuff and there is more pleasant behavior.
On the first level there were some pools of a sort with mostly more 40-ish men in them. They were mainly soaking and chatting a little. One of them moved next to me but I wasn't interested so I left. I've never been interested in older men.
There was a shower cubicle complex nearby, with a lot of small shower stalls stuck together. There was a very muscular mid to late 20s white guy having sex with an Asian guy and another Asian was watching through a small hole. He left when I entered the area and I watched a little but then he came back and scolded me into leaving. It was humorous and odd. That couple eventually moved out of that stall, though, and the Asian was giving the muscular guy head out in the open, in the hall next to the shower cubicles. I watched them for a short time. The muscular guy smiled at me but then the guy stopped sucking and they disappeared somewhere.
I checked out the sauna and there was a tiny space at the end of one where a very old Asian guy with white hair and what looked like a 18/19 year old thin Asian twink were having sex. The old guy gave me an angry look and the young guy wouldn't make eye contact. I didn't want to watch them in the first place.
I'm not much of a voyeur but I didn't expect to find someone to hook up with when I went there. My assumption proved correct. I went back to the pool area and a mid 30s guy chatted with me for a while but I wasn't interested so he quickly lost interest. I am naturally skinny so I'm sure some of them, especially the Japanese guys, assumed I'm positive. I'm not. Being skinny at a bathhouse is not the best way to meet men unless you're like 18/19. Even at that age, though, I was even accused of having anorexia and HIV by bitchy femme twinks at clubs. When I went to that bathhouse in Japan I was playing serious competitive tennis and badminton several times a week and, even with whey protein, couldn't bulk up. My metabolism was too high. I also don't have a large penis (5" hard), especially when it's flaccid. I'm very definitely a grower not a shower which isn't so good for hooking up in a place like that either. I wish my metabolism would still be as high as it was then. Now I have to watch what I eat. Women typically find me more attractive than gay men do. I have always been hit on more by them. I suppose it's because I'm quite tall and have big hands. Who knows?
I've heard that rising land values in the historical gay district in Tokyo where the bathhouse is is causing gay businesses to be pushed out. Also, men aren't meeting at bars because of cell phones and the Internet. People predicted that the entire historical gay district would disappear fairly soon, which is sad. I did Karaoke with my spouse in a bar that was practically empty even though the staff were very hospitable. I also went with a friend to a small bar where the owner would cook food for the patrons. It was a neat experience although he made sausage which I hate. I don't like anything made with pork. It makes me want to vomit when I even smell it, especially if it's fried. But I choked down some of the food to be polite. I wonder if the bathhouse is still there?
My Japanese language ability is fairly minimal and the only person who spoke English to me was the 40ish guy in the one pool who chatted with me a bit. Getting around Tokyo without the ability to speak and understand Japanese much at all is an interesting experience. It's possible but it can be challenging. I would love to go back to Tokyo again for another long stay but I don't have any money for travel.
My spouse and I also went to a gay B&B in Maui once, a long long time ago, where guys in the hot tub all gave each other handjobs before going to their separate rooms to have sex. A hot tub is not the most comfortable place for an erection. In fact, I don't like them because of the hot water. None of the guys were hot so it wasn't an amazing experience but it was the first time I saw men doing something out in the open, even though it doesn't count as public since it was a B&B for gay men and the hot tub area was specifically marked a nudist area.
When I was in high school I was very likely cruised by a guy who I had a big crush on but who was rude/mocking to me in school. I was walking home and he pulled up in his convertible looking hot and even glanced down at his spread legs when he invited me to join him. I said no. He got pissed and drove away. I had my pride. Looking back I sometimes think I should have just gone for it.
Also, I was at the nude beach in Maui and I followed a young guy a ways into the water because he had such a beautiful ass and I wanted to see it better and may be talk to him. It was snow white and perfectly-shaped. He was a straight hippie from the Midwest. We had a conversation in the water. He pointed out his girlfriend who was there with their friends. I'm not sure why he and his friends were on the gay beach. He was obviously not gay. He invited me to join them, though, so I suppose he wasn't against getting head or something. Of course, it could have just been to smoke weed or something else I wasn't interested in. He was particularly unusual case because his face looked really old, horrible really, from all the sun damage but his ass was just perfect. I guess he had never skinny dipped before at the nude beach because it was literally as white as snow. I really wanted to kiss and eat it but I wasn't going to do that out in the open. I've never been the type who risks getting thrown in jail. Also, since they seemed to be homeless I would have felt like I should give them some money to help them out and I didn't have any on me. So, I felt it would be rude to have sex with him, if that was what he had in mind, and leave him empty-handed.
At that same beach I met a well-hung rich guy in his 30s who kept his body in very good shape (muscular, etc.) who had homes in San Francisco and Maui. He liked me and wanted me to come to his house. His dick was really nice and I would have liked to have gotten to know him but I was there with my spouse so I couldn't. He was clearly disappointed. This happened when I was 22 or so. I looked younger than my age, too — more like 19 at most. He wouldn't have had any interest in my spouse because he's not good-looking and was fat. I didn't marry him for his looks (or his money, which he had none of).